My Harry Potter Drinking Game!!

[sweettalkeress.livejournal.com]

If anyone’s planning to reread the series again, this drinking game may make it bearable more fun ™!

 

Take a drink for:

·         Everytime Harry views himself as an underdog or victim

·         Everytime the Dursleys abuse Harry

o   Double if it’s in a way that’s so over-the-top it’s hard to take seriously

·         Everytime Ron looks stupid

·         Everytime Hermione brings up an obscure fact she read in a book

o   Double if it has no bearing on the plot

·         Everytime somebody calls Voldemort “You-Know-Who” or “He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named”

o   Double if Dumbledore calls them on it

·         Everytime Hagrid fawns over a dangerous animal

o   Double if the animal actually injures a student at any point

o   Triple if Hagrid is portrayed as a victim afterwards

·         Everytime Harry does something that is supposed to be noble or heroic (according to the text) but isn’t

·         Everytime Hermione or someone else does something that is supposed to be noble or heroic (according to the text) but isn’t

·         Everytime Dumbledore is treated as a god

·         Everytime Harry complains about something mean Snape or Draco has been doing

o   Double if Harry thinks of it as mean, but it really isn’t

·         Everytime Harry is referred to as The Boy Who Lived or The Chosen One

·         Everytime a character is Just That Special

·         Everytime Harry seems less like an everyman protagonist who makes understandable mistakes and matures and more like a self-absorbed jerk-ass Gary Stu

·         Everytime someone else acts less like a great person/character for everyone to love and more like a self-absorbed jerk-ass Mary Sue/Gary Stu

·         Everytime something happens that has sexual undertones

o   Double if it has rape undertones

·         Everytime Voldemort does something over-the-top evil

o   Double if it comes out of nowhere and has no bearing on anything before or since

o   Triple if it’s anything having to do with Hitler

·         Alternatively, everytime Voldemort does something that is supposed to be over-the-top evil (according to the text) but isn’t

o   Double if it’s stupid

o   Triple if it’s both stupid and passive

·         Everytime Harry or someone else speaks in CAPSLOCK!!

·         Everytime an adult in the story behaves less like a responsible adult and more like a ten-year-old

o   Double if it’s anyone Harry respects and admires (i.e., Sirius, Dumbledore, etc.)

·         Everytime someone delivers a long-winded exposition speech

o   Double if it’s just repeating information we already have

·         Everytime a character turns out to be evil just because said character was rude to Harry earlier (any sense that the character is supposed to be dishonorable or Not To Be Liked counts here, btw)

·         Everytime a character is disproportionately punished

o   Double if it’s for no other reason than that the character doesn’t like or obey Harry

·         Every scene we get of Harry passively waiting for a character to help him

o   Double if that character is Dumbledore

·         Everytime past book 3 when something’s thrown in just because it looks or sounds cool

·         Everytime someone makes fun of or looks down on Muggles, other fantasy races, etc.

o   Double if it’s just thrown in to make someone look worse than they would otherwise

o   Douse yourself with your drink if it’s someone who’s supposed to be a hero!

·         Everytime a nonhuman race (half-human hybrids count too, but not Muggles) is portrayed in actual fact as being much dumber than wizards

·         Everytime a character acts as if he could be gay

o   Double if the character was not supposed to be gay in the story

·         Every mention of a “chest monster” or other weird emotional metaphor

·         Everytime a character dies

o   Double if the death is overly dramatic

o   Triple if the death served no purpose in the story

·         Everytime Gryffindor is shown to be the best House

·         And everytime Slytherin is portrayed as irredeemably evil

·         Everytime a character is spoken of as though he/she is innately good or bad

·         Everytime Harry wins a game of Quidditch

·         Everytime Harry wins some other contest

·         Every character who gets no fitting resolution

·         Every character who is reduced to a plot device

·         Every potentially-interesting character who has ever been ignored in favor of another character who is supposed to be more important, but is just plain boring

·         Every inconsistency between books

·         Everything that got inserted into the story later on to make it seem more “gritty/realistic/dark”, etc., but that muddies previous story points and doesn’t add anything to the story itself

o   Double if it’s anything to do with Hitler

o   Or if it’s because the heroes are doing something that’s supposed to be extremely illegal/dangerous with little or no justification

 

Comments

[ladyhadhafang.livejournal.com]

Take a shot every time Dumbledore tells the reader what to think.

Double if it's fawning over Harry's "love" or whatever that we don't see.

Triple if it makes Voldemort look worse than he already is in comparison (like everything else he did wasn't obvious enough?).

Empty your glass if, everytime, you're wondering, "What does Dumbledore see in that boy? Did I miss something?"