Magical Magic Creature Spotlight: Jarvey

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Jarvey

MOM Classification: XXX

The Jarvey, found in Britain, Ireland, and North America, is basically a large talking ferret. However, while it can talk, it isn’t really as intelligent as humans and can’t carry on a true conversation—instead it spouts rude phrases with very little rhyme or reason. Jarveys eat Gnomes primarily, but they’ll also go after smaller animals.

It begs the question as to exactly how Jarveys learn to talk in the first place—have they just lived among humans for so long that they’ve been able to pick up handfuls of words and phrases, like parrots? Or do the words actually mean something to them that they don’t mean to humans? Do Jarveys learn only English words and phrases, or have they ever spoken other languages? Clearly Rowling has never thought this through, and that’s another blow to this book’s credibility as even a faux-educational document.

No picture this time because it’s pretty obvious what a ferret looks like.