Into the Valley of Death[ly Hallows]: An Introduction

[oneandthetruth.livejournal.com]

In the Deadly Hollows Sporking Community, erastes began the festivities by saying this: “I have to just mention the preface page with excerpts from Aeschylus and William Penn. This made my heart sink, because invariably I find that crap books are prefaced by arty-farty poetry and prose. Just once I'd like to see a preface quoting Enid Blyton or Dan Brown. It would sing to me of hope.” With that in mind, I decided to emulate JKR by beginning my sporking of DH by quoting Alfred, Lord Tennyson. “The Charge of the Light Brigade” seems to express the attitude a person needs have when sporking the second-longest and (first) dullest of the Harry Potter books. If that sounds grandiose, well, just remember that in the five-and-a-half years since DH came out, only one person on DTCL, montavilla, has made it through sporking the entire book. Saylee tried, but had to quit after seven chapters because she just couldn’t take any more.

( Read more... )

Deathly Hallows, Chapter 1: The Dark Lord Ascending

[oneandthetruth.livejournal.com]

Author’s note: This installment contains spoilers for the first Warriors series by Erin Hunter.

The title of this chapter makes me think of Voldemort rising into the air in a hot air balloon. No doubt it would be green with a silver Dark Mark on it. Given how full of hot air this book is, this is a remarkable example of accidental truth in advertising. However, most of the bloviating is done by the “good guys” rather than the “bad” ones.

( Read more... )