HBP Chapter Thirty: "The White Tomb"
Jul. 5th, 2014 11:47 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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deathtocapslock* Rather a long entry, this; so much in this chapter just cried out for sporking.
* Zacharias Smith has a “haughty-looking father”. Just in case there was any doubt that his family’s evil as well. Bad blood, asthat evil bigot Draco Hagrid once said.
* Apparently “wizards and witches were pouring into the village, preparing to pay their last respects to Dumbledore”. Yeah, right. Preparing to make sure the bugger’s actually dead, more likely.
* So are Madame Maxime and Hagrid back together then? Bloody Hell, I hope not. Their subplot was tedious and pointless enough already. Still, I suppose one of the very few good things about the Camping Trip of Boredom is that we don’t have to see Hagrid for most of DH.
* “Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny were spending all of their time together.” So just like normal, then.
* Also, the printer missed the end off that sentence, surely? Shouldn’t it be “Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny were spending all their time together with the suddenness and completeness of death, which was with them like a presence”?
* “The beautiful weather seemed to mock them.” Yeah, I bet it did. Hey look, there’s a cloud that looks like someone giving Harry Potter the middle finger!
* Harry’s putting off breaking up with Ginny, allegedly “because it was too hard to forgo his best source of comfort,” although knowing Harry it’s probably because for most of the time he doesn’t actually remember she exists.
* “‘I suppose I’m just going to have to accept that he really is going to marry her,’ sighed Ginny later that evening.” Well, if Fleur can accept having this obnoxious, petty, small-minded family as her in-laws, I’m sure they can learn to cope with her.
* Ron asks whether anybody they know has died; “Hermione winced at the forced toughness in his voice.” Meanwhile I wince at this forced attempt to convey the horrors and uncertainties of war without putting any skill or effort in.
* Harry thinks about how dark and winding is the path he has to take, not realising that it wouldn’t be nearly so dark and winding if Dumbledore hadn’t been such a secretive, uncommunicative arsehole.
* “Dumbledore helpfully offered Harry a rope ladder that turned to snakes the moment he began to climb.” Well, Harry’s subconscious has got an accurate picture of him, at least.
* Harry knows he has to discover the identity of this mysterious “R. A. B.” character before he can proceed on his quest. Not that he bothers, y’know, making enquiries or looking any likely candidates up in the Hogwarts library (which he won’t have access to after this year because he doesn’t intend to return to school). He leaves all that stuff to Hermione, who’s got over her plot-induced apathy and started investigating stuff again.
* I like the way Harry describes himself as being “taken in” by the Half-Blood Prince, as if it was a matter of Snape being actively deceitful in some way instead of Harry just being a bullying moron like his father.
* “[S]houldn’t have left his old book at the bottom of that cupboard, should he?” Yes, Harry, it’s all Snape’s fault for giving you the opportunity to cheat and bully people like that. You bear absolutely no responsibility for deciding to go around bullying and cheating all last year.
* Erm, why would Slughorn have recognised Snape’s writing? He must have had hundreds, if not thousands of students over the years, and he last taught Snape over fifteen years ago.
* Yes, Harry, the lesson from all this is that Snape’s the evil one, not you, the person who unfairly took credit for another person’s discoveries, hexed helpless squib janitors from behind, and almost ended up murdering a fellow student in the toilet. Yup, Snape’s the one who comes out looking bad, all right.
* Also, note how once again it seems that people’s essential character is set in stone. Snape and Voldemort were both evil from childhood.
* Hermione reminds Harry that “‘Evil’ is a strong word”. Odd, she doesn’t seem to be the sort of person to have too many scruples using that word about other people.
* Oh, apparently she was just telling Harry not to be too hard on himself. Don’t worry, Hermione, I don’t think there’s much danger of that.
* Harry’s come down with a really strong case of Stockholm Syndrome here. Alas, poor Dumbledore! Iknew got indoctrinated by him well.
* “He wondered whether Dumbledore’s death would be more real to him once the funeral was over.” Well, that explains the lack of mourning over Sirius, then: no funeral, so his death isn’t real enough to warrant more than a few days of grief.
* Percy’s still a persona non grata with his family then.
* Crabbe and Goyle look lonely without Malfoy. D’aaaw.
* Harry despises Malfoy, although his contempt is mingled with “the tiniest drop of pity”. Very Christlike of you, Harry. Despise your neighbour, and all that. Father, damn them, for they know exactly what they’re doing.
* I’m surprised the Slytherins are even allowed at the funeral. Shouldn’t they be banished from the event so that they cannot spoil the moment with their evil?
* Harry seems to have cheered up a bit compared to yesterday, because we’re no longer subjected to descriptions of how the beautiful summer weather seems to be mocking him.
* Tonks’ hair is pink again, because obviously a funeral is the ideal place to call attention to yourself with bright clothing and hairstyles.
* Also, what’s all this about Tonks and Lupin “seeming” to hold hands? Either they are holding hands or they aren’t. Or maybe they only “seem” to be holding hands because “Lupin” is actually a very convincing illusion, conjured up by the real Remus Lupin before he fled the country to avoid having to marry Tonks. Because he cast the illusion spell in a hurry, though, he couldn’t get every detail right: that’s why his character is going to seem so different in DH.
* Harry sees Neville and Luna and feels “a great rush of affection for both of them”, because – why else? – they’ve recently performed some service for Harry.
* Good to see that Umbridge is so traumatised one year after the centaurs got her that she still can’t bear to be near one. Remember, kids, giving your enemies long-term PTSD is totally righteous and heroic behaviour!
* Nice to see Harry’s not so upset that he can’t judge other people for presumably not caring enough that Dumbledore’s dead.
* Dumbledore’s body is “wrapped in purple velvet spangled with golden stars.” His funeral is like his life: gay and with no sense of taste whatsoever.
* Of course Dumbledore wouldn’t have cared about Hagrid blowing his nose. Since when has he been upset by signs of affection towards The Great Twinkly One?
* Grawp looks “almost human” now. Oh good, Hagrid’s attempt to force his anthropomorphising fantasies onto other animals is finally bearing fruit.
* No doubt this is meant to be foreshadowing the bit in DH where Grawp and all the other magical beings join in the fight against Voldemort, even though Voldemort’s forces seem to treat non-human sapient creatures better than the good side does. Seriously, Rowling, when your Nazi analogues are more racially accepting than your heroes, you might want to reconsider some of your characterisation.
* Harry thinks that the phrases “[n]obility of spirit”, “intellectual contribution” and “greatness of heart” have “little to do with Dumbledore as Harry had known him”. Well, I suppose we can’t really argue with him there.
* “There was so much [Harry] had never asked [Dumbledore]”… Yeah, but let’s be honest here, Albus probably wouldn’t have given a straight answer anyway.
* Wow, it seems that everything in this funeral reminds Harry of something that happened in previous books. This chapter might as well have been called “Previously in Harry Potter”.
* That bit about Dumbledore being Harry’s “last and greatest protector” seems slightly sinister in light of the revelation in DH that he was actually preparing Harry to get killed in order to destroy the fragment of Voldemort’s soul. Kind of like a turkey in early December reflecting on how nice and kind his owner must be to keep him safe from wild animals outside his cage and make sure he’s always got a plentiful supply of food and water.
* Ginny “met Harry’s gaze with the same hard, blazing look that he had seen when she had hugged him after winning the Quidditch Cup in his absence”. Uh-oh, this can’t be good.
* Also, didn’t they kiss and then go for a long romantic walk together, rather than just hugging? Why does Harry just think of the hug and not this? And why bring up the Quidditch Cup at all? Surely a real person would be more likely to think of “the night they had kissed for the first time” or something similar?
* So Harry’s breaking up with Ginny while they’re still surrounded by milling funeral guests? That seems like an oddly public occasion to do it in. Maybe he’s worried that she’ll try and Bat Bogie Hex him, and wants lots of people on hand to defend him if that happens.
* “She said, with an oddly twisted smile, ‘It’s for some stupid, noble reason, isn’t it?’” Well, you’re half right.
* “‘It’s been like… like something out of someone else’s life, these last few weeks with you,’ said Harry.” Yeah, the life of someone who actually had some sort of romantic chemistry with Ginny and didn’t forget about her existence whenever she wasn’t snogging somebody right in front of his nose.
* “Voldemort uses people his enemies are close to.” Except for in the next book, when Harry’s friends and family will be able to carry out their lives pretty much as normal. Seriously, any self-respecting Dark Lord would have arrested the Weasleys and had them publicly tortured to death until Harry agreed to hand himself in.
* Also, why wouldn’t Voldemort just get Ginny anyway, even if she’s split up with Harry? Unless they have particularly messy break-ups, most people retain at least some affection for their former girlfriends.
* Ginny reveals that she never really got over Harry, she was just using those other boyfriends on Hermione’s advice in order to make Harry notice her. Harry treats this as very romantic, rather than a sign that his girlfriend and second-best friend are a pair of dishonest, callous, manipulative bitches.
* Ginny likes Harry so much because he’s not happy unless he’s risking his life hunting dark wizards. Better hope another Dark Lord appears to replace Voldemort, then, because otherwise I foresee a rather strained marriage for those two.
* “The Ministry can add two and two, Harry,” says Scrimgeour. In other words, they’re marginally better at maths than JK Rowling is.
* No, Scrimgeour probably wouldn’t understand how Harry feels about Dumbledore. Just like he probably wouldn’t understand how a Scientologist feels about L. Ron Hubbard.
* Harry pooh-poohs the offer of Auror protection, because when an illegal terrorist organisation is out to get you, there’s clearly no way that the government’s élite law enforcement agents could be of any help.
* He also scornfully rejects the idea that he and the Ministry should work together. Because, y’know, having the resources of the government on your side is no use in fighting terrorists.
* What’s up with Harry’s Stan Shunpike obsession? He’s seen the guy, what, two, three times in his entire life, and on none of those occasions did they actually have any sort of deep or revealing conversation. For Heaven’s sake, Harry, you don’t know him well enough to know that he’s innocent.
* “‘I see you are—’ / ‘Dumbledore’s man through and through,’ said Harry. ‘That’s right.’” Well, that’s one way of finishing the sentence. Another, more precise, way would be “an obnoxious, entitled little shit with a massive superiority complex, who shows no respect whatsoever to his country’s head of state and even presumes to demand that the wizarding justice system get waived for some random near-stranger he’s arbitrarily taken a shine too, whilst not giving a toss about people he doesn’t like and treating his supposed friends as if they were his servants.” So yes, in many ways he is Dumbledore’s man.
* Ron wants to go and hit Percy because he doesn’t like what Percy’s boss is doing. No, I don’t know why we’re meant to like this character, either.
* But it’ll make me feel better, says Ron. I hope Percy comes and hits him instead. That would certainly make me feel better.
* Harry plans to go back and visit Godric’s Hollow, because “I’ve just got a feeling I need to go there.” Yes, because basing your strategy around vague intuitions and feelings is precisely the way to bring about victory in war.
* “If Dumbledore was right – and I’m sure he was – there are still four [Horcruxes] out there.” WHY ARE YOU SURE, HARRY? FFS, that bit about seven Horcruxes was only ever a piece of guesswork. What actual evidence do you have to back it up? Sure, Tom asked about making seven Horcruxes, but people often change their minds about things in between high school and adulthood. How do you know Voldemort hasn’t done the same? And why do you trust Dumbledore so much anyway? If you remember, he was sure that Severus was trustworthy, and look how that turned out! FFS, the stupidity of our main character is too much to bear. Thank Heavens we’ve only got one more page to endure of this bullshit.
* “‘And if I meet Severus Snape along the way,’ he added, ‘so much the better for me, and so much the worse for him.’” Yeah, right. Like Snape didn’t totally kick your sorry arse the last time you met him. What a fucking idiot this boy is.
* Out of interest, what do you all think would have happened if Hermione and Ron had turned back and let Harry go on his quest alone? My guess is that Harry would end up starving to death in the middle of nowhere, if he wasn’t captured and killed first.
* Harry’s startled that anything as normal as a wedding could still exist. Meanwhile the readers are dismayed to think that something as normal as a camping trip is still a possibility.
* Harry knows that the final meeting with Voldemort “must come, whether in a month, in a year, or in ten.” Spoiler alert: it’ll be in a year, because Rowling always drags the action out to cover the whole academic year.
* Zacharias Smith has a “haughty-looking father”. Just in case there was any doubt that his family’s evil as well. Bad blood, as
* Apparently “wizards and witches were pouring into the village, preparing to pay their last respects to Dumbledore”. Yeah, right. Preparing to make sure the bugger’s actually dead, more likely.
* So are Madame Maxime and Hagrid back together then? Bloody Hell, I hope not. Their subplot was tedious and pointless enough already. Still, I suppose one of the very few good things about the Camping Trip of Boredom is that we don’t have to see Hagrid for most of DH.
* “Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny were spending all of their time together.” So just like normal, then.
* Also, the printer missed the end off that sentence, surely? Shouldn’t it be “Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny were spending all their time together with the suddenness and completeness of death, which was with them like a presence”?
* “The beautiful weather seemed to mock them.” Yeah, I bet it did. Hey look, there’s a cloud that looks like someone giving Harry Potter the middle finger!
* Harry’s putting off breaking up with Ginny, allegedly “because it was too hard to forgo his best source of comfort,” although knowing Harry it’s probably because for most of the time he doesn’t actually remember she exists.
* “‘I suppose I’m just going to have to accept that he really is going to marry her,’ sighed Ginny later that evening.” Well, if Fleur can accept having this obnoxious, petty, small-minded family as her in-laws, I’m sure they can learn to cope with her.
* Ron asks whether anybody they know has died; “Hermione winced at the forced toughness in his voice.” Meanwhile I wince at this forced attempt to convey the horrors and uncertainties of war without putting any skill or effort in.
* Harry thinks about how dark and winding is the path he has to take, not realising that it wouldn’t be nearly so dark and winding if Dumbledore hadn’t been such a secretive, uncommunicative arsehole.
* “Dumbledore helpfully offered Harry a rope ladder that turned to snakes the moment he began to climb.” Well, Harry’s subconscious has got an accurate picture of him, at least.
* Harry knows he has to discover the identity of this mysterious “R. A. B.” character before he can proceed on his quest. Not that he bothers, y’know, making enquiries or looking any likely candidates up in the Hogwarts library (which he won’t have access to after this year because he doesn’t intend to return to school). He leaves all that stuff to Hermione, who’s got over her plot-induced apathy and started investigating stuff again.
* I like the way Harry describes himself as being “taken in” by the Half-Blood Prince, as if it was a matter of Snape being actively deceitful in some way instead of Harry just being a bullying moron like his father.
* “[S]houldn’t have left his old book at the bottom of that cupboard, should he?” Yes, Harry, it’s all Snape’s fault for giving you the opportunity to cheat and bully people like that. You bear absolutely no responsibility for deciding to go around bullying and cheating all last year.
* Erm, why would Slughorn have recognised Snape’s writing? He must have had hundreds, if not thousands of students over the years, and he last taught Snape over fifteen years ago.
* Yes, Harry, the lesson from all this is that Snape’s the evil one, not you, the person who unfairly took credit for another person’s discoveries, hexed helpless squib janitors from behind, and almost ended up murdering a fellow student in the toilet. Yup, Snape’s the one who comes out looking bad, all right.
* Also, note how once again it seems that people’s essential character is set in stone. Snape and Voldemort were both evil from childhood.
* Hermione reminds Harry that “‘Evil’ is a strong word”. Odd, she doesn’t seem to be the sort of person to have too many scruples using that word about other people.
* Oh, apparently she was just telling Harry not to be too hard on himself. Don’t worry, Hermione, I don’t think there’s much danger of that.
* Harry’s come down with a really strong case of Stockholm Syndrome here. Alas, poor Dumbledore! I
* “He wondered whether Dumbledore’s death would be more real to him once the funeral was over.” Well, that explains the lack of mourning over Sirius, then: no funeral, so his death isn’t real enough to warrant more than a few days of grief.
* Percy’s still a persona non grata with his family then.
* Crabbe and Goyle look lonely without Malfoy. D’aaaw.
* Harry despises Malfoy, although his contempt is mingled with “the tiniest drop of pity”. Very Christlike of you, Harry. Despise your neighbour, and all that. Father, damn them, for they know exactly what they’re doing.
* I’m surprised the Slytherins are even allowed at the funeral. Shouldn’t they be banished from the event so that they cannot spoil the moment with their evil?
* Harry seems to have cheered up a bit compared to yesterday, because we’re no longer subjected to descriptions of how the beautiful summer weather seems to be mocking him.
* Tonks’ hair is pink again, because obviously a funeral is the ideal place to call attention to yourself with bright clothing and hairstyles.
* Also, what’s all this about Tonks and Lupin “seeming” to hold hands? Either they are holding hands or they aren’t. Or maybe they only “seem” to be holding hands because “Lupin” is actually a very convincing illusion, conjured up by the real Remus Lupin before he fled the country to avoid having to marry Tonks. Because he cast the illusion spell in a hurry, though, he couldn’t get every detail right: that’s why his character is going to seem so different in DH.
* Harry sees Neville and Luna and feels “a great rush of affection for both of them”, because – why else? – they’ve recently performed some service for Harry.
* Good to see that Umbridge is so traumatised one year after the centaurs got her that she still can’t bear to be near one. Remember, kids, giving your enemies long-term PTSD is totally righteous and heroic behaviour!
* Nice to see Harry’s not so upset that he can’t judge other people for presumably not caring enough that Dumbledore’s dead.
* Dumbledore’s body is “wrapped in purple velvet spangled with golden stars.” His funeral is like his life: gay and with no sense of taste whatsoever.
* Of course Dumbledore wouldn’t have cared about Hagrid blowing his nose. Since when has he been upset by signs of affection towards The Great Twinkly One?
* Grawp looks “almost human” now. Oh good, Hagrid’s attempt to force his anthropomorphising fantasies onto other animals is finally bearing fruit.
* No doubt this is meant to be foreshadowing the bit in DH where Grawp and all the other magical beings join in the fight against Voldemort, even though Voldemort’s forces seem to treat non-human sapient creatures better than the good side does. Seriously, Rowling, when your Nazi analogues are more racially accepting than your heroes, you might want to reconsider some of your characterisation.
* Harry thinks that the phrases “[n]obility of spirit”, “intellectual contribution” and “greatness of heart” have “little to do with Dumbledore as Harry had known him”. Well, I suppose we can’t really argue with him there.
* “There was so much [Harry] had never asked [Dumbledore]”… Yeah, but let’s be honest here, Albus probably wouldn’t have given a straight answer anyway.
* Wow, it seems that everything in this funeral reminds Harry of something that happened in previous books. This chapter might as well have been called “Previously in Harry Potter”.
* That bit about Dumbledore being Harry’s “last and greatest protector” seems slightly sinister in light of the revelation in DH that he was actually preparing Harry to get killed in order to destroy the fragment of Voldemort’s soul. Kind of like a turkey in early December reflecting on how nice and kind his owner must be to keep him safe from wild animals outside his cage and make sure he’s always got a plentiful supply of food and water.
* Ginny “met Harry’s gaze with the same hard, blazing look that he had seen when she had hugged him after winning the Quidditch Cup in his absence”. Uh-oh, this can’t be good.
* Also, didn’t they kiss and then go for a long romantic walk together, rather than just hugging? Why does Harry just think of the hug and not this? And why bring up the Quidditch Cup at all? Surely a real person would be more likely to think of “the night they had kissed for the first time” or something similar?
* So Harry’s breaking up with Ginny while they’re still surrounded by milling funeral guests? That seems like an oddly public occasion to do it in. Maybe he’s worried that she’ll try and Bat Bogie Hex him, and wants lots of people on hand to defend him if that happens.
* “She said, with an oddly twisted smile, ‘It’s for some stupid, noble reason, isn’t it?’” Well, you’re half right.
* “‘It’s been like… like something out of someone else’s life, these last few weeks with you,’ said Harry.” Yeah, the life of someone who actually had some sort of romantic chemistry with Ginny and didn’t forget about her existence whenever she wasn’t snogging somebody right in front of his nose.
* “Voldemort uses people his enemies are close to.” Except for in the next book, when Harry’s friends and family will be able to carry out their lives pretty much as normal. Seriously, any self-respecting Dark Lord would have arrested the Weasleys and had them publicly tortured to death until Harry agreed to hand himself in.
* Also, why wouldn’t Voldemort just get Ginny anyway, even if she’s split up with Harry? Unless they have particularly messy break-ups, most people retain at least some affection for their former girlfriends.
* Ginny reveals that she never really got over Harry, she was just using those other boyfriends on Hermione’s advice in order to make Harry notice her. Harry treats this as very romantic, rather than a sign that his girlfriend and second-best friend are a pair of dishonest, callous, manipulative bitches.
* Ginny likes Harry so much because he’s not happy unless he’s risking his life hunting dark wizards. Better hope another Dark Lord appears to replace Voldemort, then, because otherwise I foresee a rather strained marriage for those two.
* “The Ministry can add two and two, Harry,” says Scrimgeour. In other words, they’re marginally better at maths than JK Rowling is.
* No, Scrimgeour probably wouldn’t understand how Harry feels about Dumbledore. Just like he probably wouldn’t understand how a Scientologist feels about L. Ron Hubbard.
* Harry pooh-poohs the offer of Auror protection, because when an illegal terrorist organisation is out to get you, there’s clearly no way that the government’s élite law enforcement agents could be of any help.
* He also scornfully rejects the idea that he and the Ministry should work together. Because, y’know, having the resources of the government on your side is no use in fighting terrorists.
* What’s up with Harry’s Stan Shunpike obsession? He’s seen the guy, what, two, three times in his entire life, and on none of those occasions did they actually have any sort of deep or revealing conversation. For Heaven’s sake, Harry, you don’t know him well enough to know that he’s innocent.
* “‘I see you are—’ / ‘Dumbledore’s man through and through,’ said Harry. ‘That’s right.’” Well, that’s one way of finishing the sentence. Another, more precise, way would be “an obnoxious, entitled little shit with a massive superiority complex, who shows no respect whatsoever to his country’s head of state and even presumes to demand that the wizarding justice system get waived for some random near-stranger he’s arbitrarily taken a shine too, whilst not giving a toss about people he doesn’t like and treating his supposed friends as if they were his servants.” So yes, in many ways he is Dumbledore’s man.
* Ron wants to go and hit Percy because he doesn’t like what Percy’s boss is doing. No, I don’t know why we’re meant to like this character, either.
* But it’ll make me feel better, says Ron. I hope Percy comes and hits him instead. That would certainly make me feel better.
* Harry plans to go back and visit Godric’s Hollow, because “I’ve just got a feeling I need to go there.” Yes, because basing your strategy around vague intuitions and feelings is precisely the way to bring about victory in war.
* “If Dumbledore was right – and I’m sure he was – there are still four [Horcruxes] out there.” WHY ARE YOU SURE, HARRY? FFS, that bit about seven Horcruxes was only ever a piece of guesswork. What actual evidence do you have to back it up? Sure, Tom asked about making seven Horcruxes, but people often change their minds about things in between high school and adulthood. How do you know Voldemort hasn’t done the same? And why do you trust Dumbledore so much anyway? If you remember, he was sure that Severus was trustworthy, and look how that turned out! FFS, the stupidity of our main character is too much to bear. Thank Heavens we’ve only got one more page to endure of this bullshit.
* “‘And if I meet Severus Snape along the way,’ he added, ‘so much the better for me, and so much the worse for him.’” Yeah, right. Like Snape didn’t totally kick your sorry arse the last time you met him. What a fucking idiot this boy is.
* Out of interest, what do you all think would have happened if Hermione and Ron had turned back and let Harry go on his quest alone? My guess is that Harry would end up starving to death in the middle of nowhere, if he wasn’t captured and killed first.
* Harry’s startled that anything as normal as a wedding could still exist. Meanwhile the readers are dismayed to think that something as normal as a camping trip is still a possibility.
* Harry knows that the final meeting with Voldemort “must come, whether in a month, in a year, or in ten.” Spoiler alert: it’ll be in a year, because Rowling always drags the action out to cover the whole academic year.
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Date: 2014-07-09 07:19 pm (UTC)