Harry Potter Abridged! HBP Chapter 23

[sweettalkeress.livejournal.com]

[Harry returns to his dormitory long after hours]

Fat Lady: The password’s changed, you know.

Harry: But I don’t know the new password!

Fat Lady: Go cry about it to Dumbledore, then.

Harry: Dumbledore?! He’s back?!

Nearly Headless Nick: He came back just today. So says the Bloody Baron.

Harry: Ooh! I must speak to him at once!

[He runs to Dumbledore’s office]

Harry: Dumbledore, Dumbledore! I’ve got the memory!

Dumbledore: Hooray! Now we can finally view this super important memory that has eluded me for so long!

[He empties the memory into the Pensieve and they disappear inside]

Slughorn: So, Tom, you sure are a promising student. And so thoughtful. I love the candied pineapple you sent me! You will go far in this world!

Voldemort: Aww, you’re too kind, Professor. Say, can I ask you a top secret question?

Slughorn: You can ask me anything you want! Just say the word, and Slughorn will deliver!

Voldemort: Well, I just want to know a bit about, a little thing called, Horcruxes!

Slughorn: Horcruxes?! Do you even know what it is you’re asking?

Voldemort: Well I would, if I knew anything about them, but I don’t, hence why I asked you.

Slughorn: What makes you think I know anything?! I’m just a humble Potions instructor! Has Dumbledore been spreading stereotypes about all Slytherins being Dark wizards at heart again?

Voldemort: So you don’t know anything at all, then? You’re completely ignorant about what these Horcruxes are and what they can do? I must say I expected more of you!

Slughorn: Well…it just so happens that I do know something.

Voldemort: Oh, really?

Slughorn: But why do you ask?

Voldemort: Oh, no reason. I’m just…just curious, is all. There’s no way I’m working on any evil plan, or anything!

Slughorn: Well, I suppose it can’t hurt to help you understand the term. See, a Horcrux is what happens when someone splits their soul and hides part of it in an object outside the person’s body. This person is now, effectively, immortal as long as their Horcrux remains intact. But very few people would want to live in such a state.

Voldemort: How do you make one?

Slughorn: Are you sure you’re not planning something evil?

Voldemort: Slughorn, I’m hurt! Did I not say right at the outset that there is no evil plan I’m working on at all?

Slughorn: Well, yes…but…never mind. I don’t know the specifics, all I know is that if you kill someone, it damages your soul, and to create a Horcrux you use that to your advantage, and encase part of it in something else using a spell. I don’t know it so don’t ask me what it is.

Voldemort: That’s very interesting. But here’s a question for you: has anyone ever tried to make more than one Horcrux? Like, say, seven?

Slughorn: Seven Horcruxes?!

Voldemort: You know, seven deadly sins, seven ways to win, seven holy paths to hell….

Slughorn: Don’t be so casual! I can’t even imagine the damage that would do to both yourself and the world at large!

Voldemort: Oh Professor, you’re so funny when you’re in shock!

[Dumbledore and Harry exit the Pensieve]

Dumbledore: I see. I don’t know if you noticed this—

Harry: I didn’t! I was too busy staring at Tom Riddle’s evil sexiness!

Dumbledore: Yes, yes, but I want to impress upon you: the only thing Tom Riddle wanted Slutborn for in that memory was his opinion on what would happen if he made more than one Horcrux. I’m certain that ring he was wearing was a Horcrux before he and Slutborn even had that conversation. By the way, that diary you gave me in the second book was a Horcrux too.

Harry: Oh, so it was! That’s why I could communicate with Tom Rid through it!

Dumbledore: That was my first clue that Voldemort had made more than one Horcrux, because he obviously intended it flung in the path of people who could potentially destroy it if they found out its secret, which would render it utterly useless unless he had more in reserve. Voldemort was never the brightest wizard on the planet but even you aren’t that stupid!

Harry: Hey! [Pause] By the way, did we actually need to view that memory in its entirety? Or did you already know everything in it ahead of time?

Dumbledore: Well, not the part about Voldemort’s interest in seven. See, that’s something new we now know! He specifically wanted to split his soul into seven!

Harry: Alright, then. But…how are we even going to track them all down? They could be anything!

Dumbledore: Well, the good news is, we’ve already gone through two of them. You’ve destroyed the diary, and I’ve destroyed the ring. Now we just need to tackle the other four. And fortunately for us, Voldemort is a very proud man, and also a very stupid one, so he’d make them big, flashy objects that are easy to connect to him and his own personal obsessions. Well, that and the diary. But that diary used to belong to him, after all!

Harry: Well, what might these objects be?

Dumbledore: The heirlooms of Slytherin and Hufflepuff, for a start. Possibly he also acquired something of Ravenclaw’s. I’m sure he was after artifacts from all four Hogwarts founders, but fortunately the sword of Gryffindor remains safe and untainted by his evil. As it should be!

Harry: But even assuming he got something from three of the founders that still leaves one more. What oh what could it be?
Dumbledore: It’s probably his pet snake, Nagini.

Harry: Cool.

Dumbledore: So, I should tell you that the next time I go out hunting for Horcruxes, I’ll be taking you with me.

Harry: Hooray! Finally I get to do awesome stuff to fight evil!

Dumbledore: Yes, quite.

Phineas Nigellus: I think you’re making a mistake.

Dumbledore: Shut up, you slimy Slytherin!

Harry: By the way, does Voldemort actually know when a Horcrux is destroyed?

Dumbledore: I doubt it. I mean, he’s incapable of feeling, after all. We do know that he wasn’t aware that the diary had been destroyed until Lucius Malfoy told him of that. Not that I think Lucius knew what it was. Most likely he just wanted to get rid of a piece of incriminating evidence by giving it to the Weasleys. Thank goodness he went to Azkaban where he can’t trouble us anymore!

Harry: Yes! But anyway, if Voldemort’s Horcruxes are destroyed, then he can be killed?

Dumbledore: Precisely. Although I should warn you that he won’t be easy to kill even then. Oh, well—you’re the Chosen One, and can love, while he is completely incapable of it; so I’m sure you’ll succeed!

Harry: Dumbledore, I’ve been thinking about the prophecy. Could it be that when the prophecy says that Voldemort and I were born to die, it means that one of us is destined to kill the other?

Dumbledore: No, that’s not it.

Harry: What?

Dumbledore: That’s the problem with both you and him. You have overthought that prophecy when really the message is much more simple and meaningless than that.

Harry: What’s that supposed to mean?

Dumbledore: It’s simple. You and he are born to die because everyone is born to die. People are pursued by death from the moment they’re conceived. You and he aren’t unique in that respect.

Harry: That’s not true! I believe that my soul will fly and I will live forever!

Dumbledore: Do you believe in God, Harry?

Harry: Well…I…ah….

Dumbledore: Foolish boy! There is only one god, and that’s Death!

Harry: No! This can’t be true!

Dumbledore: It is true, and the sooner you accept this the sooner you will be able to defeat Voldemort!

Harry: Dumbledore, you’re scaring me! Can we get back to talking about how awesome I am?

Dumbledore: Very well. You are awesome. You have all of Voldemort’s powers thanks to your mind link with him yet you have never once been corrupted by them. Everything you do is good and true and pure because you understand love and are a True Gryffindor, and not a slimy Slytherin. And as a True Gryffindor, you hate Voldemort as the symbol of all who is evil and will surely destroy him!

Harry: Yes I will! And then I shall have my revenge on the evil scum who killed my parents! Huzzah!

Comments

[wolf-willow31.livejournal.com]

Dumbledore: Foolish boy! There is only one god, and that’s Death!

That's actually a logical conclusion that one could draw from these books. Trying to avoid Death is foolish (the tale of Death's gift of the Deathly Hallows), or even the ultimate sin (in the case of Voldemort). And it is only through his mother's self-sacrifice to Death and by giving himself over to Death, that Harry is able to defeat Voldemort.

Love isn't the only thing that Harry might have that Voldemort knows not - there's also the acceptance of Death, and maybe even the embracing of Death, our "Last Great Adventure". Yuk!

[vermouth1991.livejournal.com]

Reminds me of a recent "Dilbert" strip where the animal-manager (i think it's a cat) told an employee that "Just remember, in case you feel that life is bad: 'At the end if the day... you are going to die.'" The employee said "That's not comforting!" to which the manager replied, "Oh, I just omitted the part where you'll suffer for 90 years first."

[wolf-willow31.livejournal.com]

It's a cat: Catbert.

[sweettalkeress.livejournal.com]

IKR? It just seems like such a logical conclusion given everything that happens in this series. Death really is the end-all and be-all.

[aikaterini.livejournal.com]

/all I know is that if you kill someone, it damages your soul/

So Molly Weasley’s soul is damaged after she kills Bellatrix?

/to create a Horcrux you use that to your advantage, and encase part of it in something else using a spell./

And we never really do find out what spell it is or how it works. It’s interesting that none of the memories we see from Voldemort in the series ever show him in the process of making a Horcrux. We just see him killing people and that’s it.

/Harry: Oh, so it was! That’s why I could communicate with Tom Rid through it!/

But when Harry finds the cup, the Horcrux doesn’t communicate to him at all. Neither does an illusion of Tom appear when Harry finds the diadem. And, of course, despite containing a Horcurx himself, Harry never hears a voice in his head until Voldemort sends him visions in OotP. For some reason, it only happens with the diary or the locket.

/Dumbledore: That was my first clue that Voldemort had made more than one Horcrux, because he obviously intended it flung in the path of people who could potentially destroy it if they found out its secret, which would render it utterly useless unless he had more in reserve./

Yes, why would Voldemort trust someone like Lucius Malfoy with the diary, a man whom he described as “slippery?”

/I’m sure he was after artifacts from all four Hogwarts founders, but fortunately the sword of Gryffindor remains safe and untainted by his evil./

Of course. *sighs*

/Harry: By the way, does Voldemort actually know when a Horcrux is destroyed?/

In the movies, he did.

[jana-ch.livejournal.com]

I suspect Molly Weasley’s soul is damaged after she kills Bellatrix. She certainly acts in hatred—understandable hatred, but hatred nonetheless.

On the other hand, I don’t believe Severus’s soul is damaged by killing Dumbledore, because it’s an act of mercy, and he feels remorse even at the moment he does it. Does anyone else in the saga feel remorse at having to kill?

[nx74defiant.livejournal.com]

Not that I think Lucius knew what it was. Most likely he just wanted to get rid of a piece of incriminating evidence by giving it to the Weasleys.

There are a lot of easier ways Lucius could have gotten rid of the diary.

What Lucius wanted was to hurt you Dumbledore, and the thing that pushed him to action was the stunt you did at the end of Harry's and Draco's first year.