Harry Potter & the Cursed Child
Jun. 9th, 2016 08:58 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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deathtocapslockFor anyone who's curious, the plot of the play has been discussed in spoilery comments at the following links:
Source 1
Source 2
Source 3 UPDATE: Snitchseeker took down their spoilers as JKR called out another website for doing the same and TPTB have been contacting people to request they don't post any details. *eyeroll*
But never fear, Andrew Sims of Hypable (whom JKR called 'Wormtaily' for betraying the secret, lmao) linked to a cohesive recap of the entire two-part play.
When I first read about this, I thought it was someone trolling, but there's multiple sources? Either there's a conspiracy afoot or it's legit, IDK what to believe!
What kind of crappy fanfic, lmao! A Time-Turner plot, seriously? To save CEDRIC DIGGORY, of all people, wtf?
How shitty that anti-Slytherin prejudice is still going strong to the point that Albus is ostracized for being sorted into Slytherin. :/
Cackling at Ron & Hermione never getting together as a result of the temporal shenanigans, hehe. But I'm pissed that her being single results in her becoming a bitter Hogwarts teacher as opposed to happily married Hermione being the Minister of Magic, the implications there are pretty gross.
I can't even process everything I just read. Wow. JKR should be fired from her own world, just what even.
Source 1
Source 2
But never fear, Andrew Sims of Hypable (whom JKR called 'Wormtaily' for betraying the secret, lmao) linked to a cohesive recap of the entire two-part play.
When I first read about this, I thought it was someone trolling, but there's multiple sources? Either there's a conspiracy afoot or it's legit, IDK what to believe!
How shitty that anti-Slytherin prejudice is still going strong to the point that Albus is ostracized for being sorted into Slytherin. :/
Cackling at Ron & Hermione never getting together as a result of the temporal shenanigans, hehe. But I'm pissed that her being single results in her becoming a bitter Hogwarts teacher as opposed to happily married Hermione being the Minister of Magic, the implications there are pretty gross.
I can't even process everything I just read. Wow. JKR should be fired from her own world, just what even.
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Re: Are We Sure That This Isn't a Joke? (Part II)
Date: 2016-06-13 03:55 pm (UTC)As opposed to everyone else who's lost a child.
/Albus is intrigued by this older girl with silver and blue hair/
Does she dye her hair? Or use magic to color it?
/and she suggests he visits them at the nursing home where she cares for her uncle/
Nursing home meaning St. Mungo's?
/Worried that Albus is isolating himself at school, Harry gives him a gift of his mother’s blanket/
Where did Harry get the blanket?
/Harry says he sometimes wishes Albus wasn’t his son. Albus throws the blanket down on his bed, where it knocks over a bottle of love potion given to him by Ron./
...Wow. Where to even begin...
First of all, that is a horrible, HORRIBLE thing to say to your child. You get bad parent points just for that alone, Harry.
Second of all, WHY do you sometimes wish that Albus wasn't your child? Because he was in Slytherin? If so, then what was the point of your little speech at the end of the epilogue after Albus expresses his reservations about Slytherin? Also, if that is true, then again, you're an awful parent.
Third of all, what the HECK, Ron?! Is he trying to set up Albus with Rose? First, they're first cousins and second, regardless of whether or not he meant for Albus to end up with Rose or some other girl, the best way Ron could think of was to give his nephew a DATE RAPE POTION?!
/Back on the train to Hogwarts, Albus hugs Scorpius/
Aww. :)
/Albus turns up at the nursing home with Scorpius and offers to help the Diggorys because there’s so much blood on his father’s hands/
Umm, what?
/If Cedric hadn’t won the Triwizard tournament 26 years earlier, he wouldn’t have been killed/
So, how is that Harry's fault? He didn't know that Voldemort was waiting for him. Besides, Barty could have killed Cedric if he changed his mind and decided to kill the other Triwizard contestants instead of Stunning them or having them attack each other. Cedric is dead because Voldemort killed him. That's it.
Besides, you could also apply this logic to the Potters. "If Lily hadn't given birth to Harry, she and James wouldn't have been killed by Voldemort (even though they could have been killed anyway, due to their status as Order members), so let's stop my grandparents from ever having kids!"
/So they decide they need to stop him winning. Their first task is to prevent him getting the golden egg from the dragons./
Wait a minute, why are they bothering with the other tasks? Every single contestant participated in the final task, regardless of how many points they got from the other tasks. Shouldn't they be focusing on making sure that Cedric never gets to the trophy in the maze instead?
/Albus, Scorpius, and Delphie sneak into the Ministry of Magic and steal the Time-Turner/
Wait, why is Delphie with them? Let me guess, she's "Amos's niece" so she makes some speech about how she needs to prevent her cousin's death or something.
/Harry is sitting at his son’s bedside, and Dumbledore appears in the picture frame above his bed./
Oh, jeez. GO AWAY, DUMBLEDORE.
Re: Are We Sure That This Isn't a Joke? (Part III)
Date: 2016-06-13 04:06 pm (UTC)Yeah, the fact that his father told him to his face that he sometimes wishes that he wasn't his son. For no reason.
/He asks Albus if Scorpius encouraged him to run away?/
Because of course it must be Scorpius's fault. He's a dirty evil Slytherin who's the son of the dirty evil Slytherin Draco. Because God forbid that you actually talk to your son about it.
/Albus must never speak to his best friend Scorpius again. He’ll use a Marauder’s Map to make sure Albus and Scorpius stay apart./
That's right, cut your son off from his only friend. Use the Marauder's Map just as your dad did: to target a Slytherin that you don't like.
My Lord, Harry has learned NOTHING. He hasn't matured at ALL.
/he’s going to ruin Voldemort Day./
Voldemort...Day...
*bursts out laughing*
/A new Hogwarts symbol hangs above the school./
Gee, I wonder if it has a snake? *bored*
/The headmistress calls in Scorpius to say that he seems to be behaving differently. He had been an athletic Quidditch star who caught all the snake charms/
...I was joking.
Snake charms? Are they supposed to be replacements for the Golden Snitch?
/Every conversation in this alternate reality ends by people crossing their wrists and saying: For Voldemort and valor./
Is this supposed to be an allusion to the Hitler salute?
/Every girl at Hogwarts is hoping Scorpius—known as the Scorpion King—will ask them to the Blood Ball./
...Blood Ball?
Dear Lord, this sounds like something from a children's cartoon.
/He tells him that Harry named his son Albus Severus Potter./
Heh, I wonder what the play will show as Snape's reaction.
/Harry is furious with Albus, says he didn’t go looking for adventures—he was forced to act when he was a schoolboy./
Oh, really? You mean like you were forced to use the Invisibility Cloak to sneak out to Hogsmeade in 3rd year?
/He even tried to hug Rose, although she kicked him in the shin./
Rose is a brat.
/Cedric’s Triwizard humiliation turned him into an angry young man, who became a Death Eater and eventually killed Neville Longbottom, helping to usher in an era of the Dark Lord./
What?! Where did Cedric give the slightest hint that he would ever do something like that? In GOF, he was willing to let Harry win, even though he'd reached the Triwizard Cup first.
/Delphie tells Albus he is going back to the maze task at the Triwizard tournament, where he must stop Cedric winning/
Which they should have done at the start! Stop Cedric from getting to the cup, that's all you needed to do!
/and humiliate him thoroughly, to ensure he becomes that angry young man again./
Again, CEDRIC WAS WILLING TO LET HARRY WALTZ OFF WITH THE CUP. He was willing to let Harry win!
/She says she wants him to fly out of that maze naked on a broom of purple feathers./
...What? 0_0
/Craig, another student from Hogwarts, rushes up to say the whole school is looking for them./
Uh, who's Craig? Did he show up earlier in the play?
/Delphie kills him instantly./
So, she's cold-blooded enough to kill a student because he gets in the way...and yet her idea of humiliating Cedric to turn him into an 'angry young man' is for him to fly naked on a purple broom.
Seriously, is this real?
/She says Albus’s weakness is the same as his father’s. It’s not pride, or the need to impress his father—it’s friendship./
No, it's the belief that he has to be the one to do things. That's why he and Scorpius didn't give the Time Turner back to the Ministry.
/Then Delphie staggers to her feet/
So, Cedric didn't Stun her? Or did she break free of the Stunner somehow?
/This can only mean one thing: Voldemort had a daughter!/
And it still doesn't make any sense. Again, I thought that Canon!Voldemort was basically asexual.
/He says it’s exceptionally lonely being Draco Malfoy/
Well, at least Draco and Harry are on civil terms with each other and actually talking.
Re: Are We Sure That This Isn't a Joke? (Part IV)
Date: 2016-06-13 04:08 pm (UTC)...Huh? What does a love potion have to do with spelling out messages?
/She must be waiting to stop Voldemort trying to kill Harry, otherwise she could have killed Harry when he was even younger./
So, why didn't she? If she'd killed Harry when he was a newborn, then Voldemort wouldn't have come after the Potters because Harry would have already been dead.
/She explains that she is the child of an affair between Voldemort and Bellatrix Lestrange/
Yeah, I remember all those times where Canon!Voldemort was lovey-dovey with Bellatrix and treated her like a queen and let her touch him and help him up and...
...Well, at least the Bellatrix/Voldemort shippers will be happy.
/The young wizard wants to kill her in an act of vengeance for Craig, but Harry and the others insist she must be imprisoned at Azkaban./
Which they couldn't do to Voldemort, for some reason.
/Scorpius is saying to Albus: I can’t believe I did that! I asked out Rose Granger-Weasley. After a pitying glance, she eventually accepts his invitation./
Okay, even if I put aside the fact that I hate this (and I can't even see Rose/Scorpius or Draco/Hermione fans being happy about this) because Rose has been nothing but a brat this entire play and thus there is no reason for Scorpius to like her and that this relationship is doomed to fail unless she recognizes what a huge brat she's been and how sad it is that she's basically only agreeing to go out with him out of pity...
...what exactly is the point of Rose's character in the play again? How does she contribute to the plot in any way? All she does is act like a big jerk to Albus and Scorpius for no reason. She's not the Hermione to their Trio - heck, they don't even have a Trio. The person who comes closest is Delphie and she turns out to be the villain.
So, what was the point of featuring Rose at all? I don't see any mention of James, Hugo, or Lily being involved in the story, so as far as I'm concerned, Rose could've been shuffled off with them and nothing would've changed.
/Says he’s afraid of the dark, small spaces... and pigeons./
Umm, since when?
/Harry replies that he’s more like his mother./
Funny, I don't remember Albus hexing people because he disagreed with their commentary or taunting his relatives over their lack of relationships.
I can't. I really hope that this is all a hoax. Or a parody of fanfiction. I just...WHAT IS THIS?!
Re: Are We Sure That This Isn't a Joke? (Part III)
Date: 2016-06-15 05:26 pm (UTC)Wasn't the name "Voldemort" a taboo? Didn't he demand that even his DE only call him the Dark Lord? But now it's "Voldemort Day"? What? 0_o
Snake charms?
Are we to think that Voldy cared about Quidditch enough to change it? Why would he do that? Seriously, he seemed to be one of the only people who didn't give a damn about idiots on brooms.
Or did his followers change it to try and please him?
It's just ridiculous.
"For Voldemort and valor"? Again with just trowing the V word left and right. Who would have thought I'd actually miss all Dark Lord / He Who Must Not Be Named crap.
And yeah, that salute is trying way too hard. We get it Jo. They are wizarding Nazi. Really you don't need to hit us over the head with it.
"nown as the Scorpion King"
. . . Scorpion King? Seriously?
I will never be able to think about this crap without imagining The Rock as Scorpion King showing up on Hogwarts. xD
The sad thing is; it would make about as much sense as everything else that's in this mess.
But that aside; are we to think that Voldy would be happy about a child of his followers being called a "King"?
It's not like he ever showed any love for Malfoys. So, why would Scorpius be in any way special to him?
The Blood Ball things is silly but also creepy.
The way WW is obsessed with pureblood and mudblood is making me think that "the Blood Ball" is not some sadistic horror show with blood all around; but a matchmaking / breeding tool.
//So, she's cold-blooded enough to kill a student because he gets in the way...and yet her idea of humiliating Cedric to turn him into an 'angry young man' is for him to fly naked on a purple broom.//
Ugh, is it just me our dose that "naked on a purple feathers broom" thing have a nasty whiff of homophobia?
It sounds as if Delphie is going to shame him by implying he might be gay or not "manly" enough. :(
Jo did use "Dumbledore in a purple suit" as "clue" that DD was gay. So it wouldn't surprise me (especially after reading JKR's books for adults.) if she was using it here again in a "funny" way.
Re: Are We Sure That This Isn't a Joke? (Part III)
Date: 2016-06-16 03:45 pm (UTC)Good point! But even if Voldemort did allow the Death Eaters to address him by his name, it still sounds silly. Was there ever an actual "Stalin Day?" I mean, I could maybe see the Death Eaters making his birthday a holiday (if they knew when it was), but to actually call the day "Voldemort Day?" What?
/Seriously, he seemed to be one of the only people who didn't give a damn about idiots on brooms./
Which is why it puzzles me whenever I see fanfiction or fanart depict Tom Riddle as a Quidditch player. Nowhere in the books was it ever mentioned that he was an athlete, and he didn't seem like someone who'd be into sports.
/Or did his followers change it to try and please him?/
I think that that's more likely, and if this was supposed to be a comedy, that could be pretty funny. The wizards are so obsessed with Quidditch that they'll rename sports terms to please Voldemort, and they don't even know or realize that Voldemort doesn't care about Quidditch and finds the whole thing dumb.
/I will never be able to think about this crap without imagining The Rock as Scorpion King showing up on Hogwarts./
Hee. :) Well, now Scorpius can empathize with Nessie from "Breaking Dawn" as another child whose unfortunate name led to a pop culture nickname.
/if she was using it here again in a "funny" way./
But this isn't supposed to be funny, right? We're really supposed to think that Cedric would become a Death Eater just because he was seen flying out the maze naked. That that's all it takes to turn a character who'd been established as a noble and honorable young man into an 'angry young man' who'd snap and join Voldemort.
I just don't understand the thought process behind this. Yes, Cedric would be humiliated, but why would that event be so life-changing? He's not Severus Snape, who's been humiliated and beaten down all his life and grasps at any chance to prove his worth. He's not Barty Crouch Jr., whose father views him as a status symbol and object.
And, once again, he was *willing to give Harry the cup.* He was willing to walk away from the chance for glory. Not only for himself, but also for his House which, as the narrator says in GoF, hadn't received that type of glory for *years.* He was willing to give it all up because he felt that it was the right thing to do. Does that really sound like someone who'd join a terrorist group just because he once lost face?
It just sounds so childish and juvenile. Both the ridiculous way in which Cedric is humiliated and the assumption that one day of humiliation is enough to make him snap and completely change character.
no subject
Date: 2016-06-16 06:08 pm (UTC)December 31st? He just might have some competition with established festivities, there (especially in Scotland).
I just don't understand the thought process behind this. Yes, Cedric would be humiliated, but why would that event be so life-changing?
And wouldn't the other Hufflepuffs, not to mention maybe other students, band together to support him, like they did when there was the kerfuffle over him being the only valid entrant from Hogwarts in the first place? ("Support Cedric Diggory!") Or, you know, his parents, who it seemed to me adored Cedric and would stick by him?