Harry Potter & the Cursed Child

[borg-princess.livejournal.com]

For anyone who's curious, the plot of the play has been discussed in spoilery comments at the following links:

Source 1

Source 2

Source 3 UPDATE: Snitchseeker took down their spoilers as JKR called out another website for doing the same and TPTB have been contacting people to request they don't post any details. *eyeroll*

But never fear, Andrew Sims of Hypable (whom JKR called 'Wormtaily' for betraying the secret, lmao) linked to a cohesive recap of the entire two-part play.

When I first read about this, I thought it was someone trolling, but there's multiple sources? Either there's a conspiracy afoot or it's legit, IDK what to believe!

What kind of crappy fanfic, lmao! A Time-Turner plot, seriously? To save CEDRIC DIGGORY, of all people, wtf?

How shitty that anti-Slytherin prejudice is still going strong to the point that Albus is ostracized for being sorted into Slytherin. :/

Cackling at Ron & Hermione never getting together as a result of the temporal shenanigans, hehe. But I'm pissed that her being single results in her becoming a bitter Hogwarts teacher as opposed to happily married Hermione being the Minister of Magic, the implications there are pretty gross.

I can't even process everything I just read. Wow. JKR should be fired from her own world, just what even.

Comments

Re: Are We Sure That This Isn't a Joke? (Part IV)

[aikaterini.livejournal.com]

/But Albus remembers that the love potion is spilled on the blanket just before he went back to Hogwarts—if they can find a chemical that will react with that potion, it will react and spell out a message at just the right time./

...Huh? What does a love potion have to do with spelling out messages?

/She must be waiting to stop Voldemort trying to kill Harry, otherwise she could have killed Harry when he was even younger./

So, why didn't she? If she'd killed Harry when he was a newborn, then Voldemort wouldn't have come after the Potters because Harry would have already been dead.

/She explains that she is the child of an affair between Voldemort and Bellatrix Lestrange/

Yeah, I remember all those times where Canon!Voldemort was lovey-dovey with Bellatrix and treated her like a queen and let her touch him and help him up and...

...Well, at least the Bellatrix/Voldemort shippers will be happy.

/The young wizard wants to kill her in an act of vengeance for Craig, but Harry and the others insist she must be imprisoned at Azkaban./

Which they couldn't do to Voldemort, for some reason.

/Scorpius is saying to Albus: I can’t believe I did that! I asked out Rose Granger-Weasley. After a pitying glance, she eventually accepts his invitation./

Okay, even if I put aside the fact that I hate this (and I can't even see Rose/Scorpius or Draco/Hermione fans being happy about this) because Rose has been nothing but a brat this entire play and thus there is no reason for Scorpius to like her and that this relationship is doomed to fail unless she recognizes what a huge brat she's been and how sad it is that she's basically only agreeing to go out with him out of pity...

...what exactly is the point of Rose's character in the play again? How does she contribute to the plot in any way? All she does is act like a big jerk to Albus and Scorpius for no reason. She's not the Hermione to their Trio - heck, they don't even have a Trio. The person who comes closest is Delphie and she turns out to be the villain.

So, what was the point of featuring Rose at all? I don't see any mention of James, Hugo, or Lily being involved in the story, so as far as I'm concerned, Rose could've been shuffled off with them and nothing would've changed.

/Says he’s afraid of the dark, small spaces... and pigeons./

Umm, since when?

/Harry replies that he’s more like his mother./

Funny, I don't remember Albus hexing people because he disagreed with their commentary or taunting his relatives over their lack of relationships.

I can't. I really hope that this is all a hoax. Or a parody of fanfiction. I just...WHAT IS THIS?!