deathtocapslock | GoF Chapter Sixteen

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GoF Chapter Sixteen

*Hey, Chapter 16 is named with the title of the book in both CoS and GoF! Fun fact, if you're ever on a game show and that comes up.

*Hermione immediately starts proving herself superior to all the girls who care about Krum as a Quidditch player. This will, of course, make Krum fall in love with her. That totally happens in real life all the time. Jocks love girls like her.

*Okay, why does it seem so natural that the Beauxbatons students sit with Ravenclaw (even if their Frenchness is sniffed at by Hermione because they're complaining about the cold--yes, she really is Molly) and Durmstrang sits with Slytherin? Would they really all get sorted into those houses or what?

*Crabbe and Goyle look smug. I wouldn't have known they were capable of smug expressions. That makes, what, two expressions they can make now?

*The Durmstrang students are impressed with the golden goblets. Being from Eastern Europe in the 12th century, they eat with their fingers and have wooden cutlery.

*Err…I think Narcissa was wise to veto the Durmstrang idea for Draco. Is it me, or does he actually seem far more suited to Beauxbatons with the fashion and the thin-blood and the pale and the blue-blooded complaining?

*I picture him with these Durmstrang guys and he reminds me of that ship in the SNL parody "Miles Copperthwaite" where they just sail around all the time looking for manly pirates to be captured by.

*Hermione mentions her holiday, year before last. Is that the same holiday she references in OotP? Is that the last time she spent time with her parents, when they went to France? And was she as defensive in dealing with French people there as she is here?

*Why must Ron be this stupid? He's never heard of bouillabaisse? So wizards are just very isolated? Has he heard of spaghetti?

*Again Harry shows a marked resistance to Veela--he can't even tell Fleur is one. Is this part of his badass anti-Imperio power, signs that whatever Rowling thinks Ron is actually more sexually mature than Harry, a sign that Harry is more commanding sexually than Ron or, my favorite, more proof that Harry likes boys?

*Why does Gryffindor seem to be getting all the French food when the French kids are all sitting with Ravenclaw? In fact, why don't they all get the same food?

*Oh, so that Fleur has a reason to walk across the room. Sorry, Fleur.

*Harry reacts automatically to the word "casket" because he's naturally sensitive to anything having to do with death. He's kind of Goth that way.

*So, what would happen if somebody didn't participate in the tournament once they're picked? DD says it's a binding magical contract, but…what? Do you die? Could Harry have just showed up for the competitions but intentionally thrown each one? Like could he have waded into the lake and then waded out? Do they ever discuss this method?

*I would totally not be surprised to find out that Wizards could die from taking somebody else's seat after the other person had "called it."

*Seriously, this is the kid the entire wizarding world is counting on to save them from the evil wizard. Is it really a good idea to risk his being eaten by a dragon in a school game?

*Harry does kind of wish he could be in the contest (so he can learn what it's like to be the kind of celebrity he is right now). This will not stop him from going all "But I would never have intentionally put my name in the goblet!" later. Harry always gets to have his cake and eat it too, that way. He gets to long for a chance to be the champion, but also be put-upon and say he never asked for it when it happens over and over.

*I imagine Krum isn't too popular at Durmstrang the way he's treated as opposed to the other students. People write Draco/Krum porn, but somebody should write Draco/Poliakoff where they both complain about special treatment and favorites who aren't them.

*It's just old home week for Death Eaters, isn't it? Good job Crouch could be Moody, who hates and strikes fear into them all.

*Here Dumbledore proves again that his big flaw is not seeing good in people, but underestimating them. He's so sure he's made it impossible for any underage person to enter their name he's got no way out when someone manages it on Harry's behalf. Even though that's kind of a no-brainer, isn't it? If the goblet doesn't know the age of the name, couldn't any 17-year-old, purposefully or not, enter someone underage? Yes, all of Dumbledore's security comes down to something about as difficult as getting an adult to buy you beer.

*Do these extra students have classes while they're here? Seems kind of ridiculous for them to wait around. Otoh, it seems kind of unfair their schools don't get to watch the Tournament. Though I guess that doesn't matter given that two out of three events you can't see anyway.

*Hagrid won't join SPEW, because it's against House Elf nature to not serve. You'd think that understanding would keep him from making pets of wild animals, but no. His personal whims trump nature. Hermione's do not.

*Remember that thing about Gryffindors always getting the babe? Well, Hagrid is not only unfashionable and silly-looking, but he smells horrible. Yet he gets a babe. Just mentioning.

* The Beauxbatons are the ones sobbing and being emotional in this chapter. Seriously, Beauxbatons!Draco would probably have chucked the DE idea and be planning a career as a famous artist in Paris by now or something.

*Not to mention they wear powder blue robes, which would suit his coloring more than blood red, I think. He seems like a summer, rather than a winter, to me. When we hear he's pale it always seems like he has a tendency to look washed out.

*You know, everybody gets all sympathetic for Harry being shunned and everything, but can't you imagine how annoyed you'd be if you were one of these students? It's like--oops, forgot whose book we were in. Of course Potter is a champion. If somebody like Malfoy had bought his way into the tournament non-Slytherins would be furious, and this really isn't that different. It's just fame as currency, from their pov.

Idiot Picture
If it's important that the champion be 17, why isn't there a provision if a person gets past the age line so that the person can still be removed from the tournament? Especially knowing that people are going to be all the time trying to get past the age line? Magic people, that is?

Idiot World
And wouldn't you all have felt stupid if Harry had drowned, gotten burned or eaten during this tournament and so was unable to fight Voldemort?

Misdirected Answering
Here's proof we're trying to keep underage people out. Don't ask why we've got no way to get them out after the fact.

MacGuffin
The whole tournament is just about getting Harry to touch a cup, which he could have done at any time and any place. Hitchcock would be proud. Or not.

I'm kind of surprised there's no Jabootu entry for bad fake accents!

Final score: 4

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*Okay, why does it seem so natural that the Beauxbatons students sit with Ravenclaw (even if their Frenchness is sniffed at by Hermione because they're complaining about the cold--yes, she really is Molly) and Durmstrang sits with Slytherin? Would they really all get sorted into those houses or what?

Maybe it's less natural that they fit in so well with Ravenclaw and Slytherin and more that no one in their right minds would want to sit with Hufflepuffs... and would you choose the Gryffindor table?

... and would you choose the Gryffindor table?

*sporfle* Good point!

Yeah, pretty much. The Gryffindors would be like sitting at a Roman feast - vomiting in the soup bowls, defecating in the fire, burping competitions... And the Hufflepuffs would probably be even less friendly to the Dirty Foriegn Types (it's so funny how it's the Gryffindors like Hagrid and Hermione who are all sniffy about people from other places - love Hermione's 'No-one's making you stay!' She's so tolerant and welcoming. Especially in comparison to those awful Slytherins who are speaking and y'know, being friendly.) since they're one pitchfork away from being an angry mob.

Actually it's one of the few canonical examples of the House elements: Beauxbatons arrive by air and sit with the air-house; Durmstrang by water and with the water-house.

Wow, good call! I had totally missed that!

Hermione immediately starts proving herself superior to all the girls who care about Krum as a Quidditch player. This will, of course, make Krum fall in love with her. That totally happens in real life all the time. Jocks love girls like her.

Well, in JKR's universe, it's the only way to get a guy's attention.
Let's see: Lily didn't care about James' Quidditch skillz, apparently ignored him and was hostile. Ginny didn't care about Harry's fame, (*rolls eyes*) and awakened his chest monster only when she stopped paying attention to him and started going out with other guys. Hermione made Ron fall in love with by bickering incessantly, belittling him, knocking his confidence...

Yep, that's way to true love alright. Really, Magpie, you're a woman. You understand what I'm talking about!

The only message I can intepret (I am but a humble woman of course) is that any attitude towards a male you like besides open contempt or faux disinterest is edging too closely to breaking The Rules and emasculating men by not letting them do 'the chasing', putting them off and becoming a 'ball-breaker'. Maybe even being a scarlet woman! (This is all speaking about guys you like in the 'Twu Wuv, Will Marry and Have Babies' sense. I don't even want to go into the attitudes toward female lust.)

Yeah, Cho is such a dirty slut for making the first move. She's probably a Death Eater!

Well, you'll note Harry's pretty revolted by it (and her man trap of a cosy teashop!) which is it's own punishment I guess.
Her and poor Michael, shackled together for generations in the misery that both have known Gryffindor Love and had it taken...

I still don't necessarily believe that Cho/Michael wasn't just another lie Ginny made up, because we never saw them together. Plus Michael is two years younger than Cho, so I don't know why she'd pick a fourth year (later fifth year) over someone more her own age.
But if they are together, I'm sure they're spending hours by the lake reminiscing about the amazing relationships they could have had with teh holy chosen Gryffindors, and not at all having a good roll around in the bushes.

Ha. Probably.

Yeah, all the females who actively pursued guys got smacked down. Cho was made out to be a whiny, selfish, slutty human hosepipe, Lavender Brown was made out to be a slutty bimbo, we don't need to really specify about Romilda Vane, and even Hermione was thoroughly punished for asking Ron to the Slug Party by having Ginny screeching her private business behind her back, which led to her being forced to watch him suck on the slutty bimbo's tonsils for about six months.

I want Cho/Romilda/Lavender to make some sort of renegade trio, like the first wives club or something. Only Romilda would be the odd one out. Her planning skills, however, would be a great asset...

Why must Ron be this stupid? He's never heard of bouillabaisse? So wizards are just very isolated? Has he heard of spaghetti?
Be fair - he's never been anywhere but The Burrow and Hogwarts and both are the epitome of British cookery, down-to-earth-earnest and straight-forward. Just imagine eating garlic!!!

I've tried and tried to come up with a reasonable explanation for JKR's view on sexuality but between Harry's maturity shown by not reacting to someone very feminine and the girls' method of attracting boys by hiding in libraries I just think she may not have thought that one through (understatement of the century).

So, what would happen if somebody didn't participate in the tournament once they're picked? DD says it's a binding magical contract, but…what? Do you die? Could Harry have just showed up for the competitions but intentionally thrown each one? Like could he have waded into the lake and then waded out? Do they ever discuss this method?
Of course not! With the exception of Snape, those discussing it are all Gryffindors (Dumbledore, McGonagall, Moody (as his alias) and Harry). You can't LOSE in a competitions just to save your life and the entire wizarding world! There are more important things like glory (for which we purportedly don't care...)and um. Well! Can you imagine how this would have been treated if Draco's name had somehow come out of the cup? He'd just sat down near that dragon tent and thus failed to get the clue for the second task, waded in and out of the lake like someone suggested and taken a very short and unsuccessful stroll in the maze and voilà!

Do these extra students have classes while they're here? Seems kind of ridiculous for them to wait around
Very good question. They never show up in one of Harry's classes, but maybe they are older (would make sense to only bring those potentially able to compete in the tournament). But wouldn't you think they would make friends with some of the older Gryffindors and thus eat at their table? Wonders...

No, no. Gryffindor and Hufflepuff already *had* champions. Now Ravenclaw and Slytherin needent feel left out.

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I admit, that is pretty cool. Of course, it might have been hard to have a House show up in the Hufflepuff way, drilling itself out of the earth. Cool, but difficult.

But wouldn't you think they would make friends with some of the older Gryffindors and thus eat at their table? Wonders...

But that would require the Gryffindors in question to make friends with non-Gryffindors.

*The Durmstrang students are impressed with the golden goblets. Being from Eastern Europe in the 12th century, they eat with their fingers and have wooden cutlery.

I suppose it doesn't reflect well on Rowling's story that I was more curious about Wizarding societies in Iron Curtain countries during the Cold War, such as during Viktor's childhood. Were they hidden from Lenin/Stalin/Ceauşescu, or did their leaders drop in on the Muggle authorities the way Fudge and Scrimgeour visit the Prime Minister?

*Why must Ron be this stupid? He's never heard of bouillabaisse? So wizards are just very isolated? Has he heard of spaghetti?

Wizarding culture in general seems to be one to three generations behind the Muggle mainstream, and Molly has kept her horde particularly isolated from modern influences. So the "meat and two veg" cooking of the Burrow and Hogwarts is probably all Ron has ever known.

*Remember that thing about Gryffindors always getting the babe? Well, Hagrid is not only unfashionable and silly-looking, but he smells horrible. Yet he gets a babe. Just mentioning.

I remember thinking it was terribly conveeeeeeeenient that a female half-giant would turn up, and that she would fall for Hagrid. Mme. Maxime almost certainly is a scholar, if she became Headmistress of a prominent academy in spite of anti-giant prejudice, but sure enough she fell for a man whose preferred reading is The Monster Book of Monsters.

I remember thinking it was terribly conveeeeeeeenient that a female half-giant would turn up, and that she would fall for Hagrid. Mme. Maxime almost certainly is a scholar, if she became Headmistress of a prominent academy in spite of anti-giant prejudice, but sure enough she fell for a man whose preferred reading is The Monster Book of Monsters.

I know! I mean, the only thing they seem to have in common is their ancestry. It's like assuming that the two characters will of course get together because they're the two black people in the cast. I don't even get an "opposites attract" kind of vibe, because Hagrid just really doesn't seem like the kind of natural man that would appeal to Madam Maxime.

Okay, why does it seem so natural that the Beauxbatons students sit with Ravenclaw

Intellectual, effeminate, same diff.

Is this part of his badass anti-Imperio power,

Doubtless. After all, if a boy gets a woody when he looks at you that's just the same as if you forced him to act foolish at wand-point. Women hold such terrible power over men.

Why does Gryffindor seem to be getting all the French food when the French kids are all sitting with Ravenclaw? In fact, why don't they all get the same food?

It's house elf sabotage. Passive resistance, plus a chance to annoy Hermione.

Intellectual, effeminate, same diff.

Oh! Good point.

Doubtless. After all, if a boy gets a woody when he looks at you that's just the same as if you forced him to act foolish at wand-point. Women hold such terrible power over men.

That's right, I forgot. That's why girls who can't make you get a woody on their own are constantly buying love potions. Same exact thing, really.

DD says it's a binding magical contract, but…what? Do you die?

If it's a form of Unbreakable Oath, my guess would be yes. That's just the kind of crazy things wizards would do for a sporting event, especially one started centuries ago. (Goblet of Fire, tongues of fire twining around hands - what is it with oaths and fire?) Not that anyone bothers to explain that to the kids before they enter. Or ever.

LOL! I know. They're quite blase about this kind of thing given they know all these underaged kids are going to be trying to get into the contest.

That makes, what, two expressions they can make now?

Well, we wouldn't want to over stress the poor dears.

So wizards are just very isolated?

Yes. Meeting other witches and wizards at the World Cup surprised Harry. They have a very insular approach to their dealings with the world. Rather like America's isolationist policies in the late 19th and early 20th centuries - on that strain of thought, war brought the US out of isolation, maybe the WW will do the same? Because, seriously, their reasons for staying isolated are rather selfish.

I'm not quite sure how Madame Maxime is attracted to him. They seem complete and utter opposites, personality wise.

Yes. Meeting other witches and wizards at the World Cup surprised Harry. They have a very insular approach to their dealings with the world. Rather like America's isolationist policies in the late 19th and early 20th centuries - on that strain of thought, war brought the US out of isolation, maybe the WW will do the same? Because, seriously, their reasons for staying isolated are rather selfish.

I went to a great paper at Phoenix Rising about Harry Potter and the Goblet of Colonialism that looked right at this. The book's like a blueprint for it.

And ditto on MM and Hagrid. It's not even like opposites attract. It's like Cho/Filch.

Goblet of Colonialism - that sounds interesting. Is there some way to read anything about that somewhere? Anywhere?
And the parallel with Madame Maxime and Hagrid is spot on. Just like those stories about white sailors (e.g. Mutiny on the Bounty)where it's treated as a matter of course that all the beautiful young women on an exotic island fall over themselves to be bedded by the gruffy, smelly dirty etc. men crawling from their ship, just because those belong to the obviously superiour race...

I don't know if it's up anywhere, but the con is putting together a compendium of all the papers presented. As long as she submits it to be in that book it will be in there eventually!

And then we had a discussion afterwards where that did come up.

*delurks*
Could Harry have just showed up for the competitions but intentionally thrown each one? Like could he have waded into the lake and then waded out? Do they ever discuss this method?

That is EXACTLY what I thought everytime I read GOF and it bugged the hell out of me. Someone needs to write the Draco/Poliakoff where they're just bitching :D

wow, my first post here and it's essentially just me saying 'word',heh, aah well.

How are the champions supposed to have no end-of-year exams? Wouldn't all the 17-year-olds be taking NEWTs this year? Was Cedric supposed to leave Hogwarts with no exams and get a job in the supermarket?

That was one of the things that really struck me about it too. Not only is it just ridiculous for them to have no end exams in general, but Harry's the only one for whom it doesn't really matter. NEWTS aren't just final exams, they're national scores you need to get a job. And you can't say "they just mean the regular school exams" because the champions are all supposed to be NEWT age.

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GoF Chapter Sixteen

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