OotP Chapter One
Nov. 2nd, 2007 10:28 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
sistermagpie.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
deathtocapslockIt's OotP again, where it all began. It seems I never did a reading of this first chapter, though, and wound up starting at chapter two. Which is totally awful, because it means I should probably do it now. ::sigh::
*He's demented all right. This is the chapter where he begins to become one of Harry's adoring hoard although we don't yet know it. You put up a good fight Dudley.
*You know all the neighbors really do avoid Harry, because he totally comes across like some angry young disturbed kid building bombs in his garage.
*Actually, he always reminds me of Bad Ronald in this opening, if you know who that is.
*Harry's grown a lot in a short space of time, but he hasn't become a great big hottie yet. The hotness has to catch up to the growth in the next book so Harry can be all unawares.
*On the whole, Harry thinks he should be congratulated by thinking to lie in the dirt under the window to hear the news. Apparently Harry has the same opinion of his intelligence as readers do. Gold star for lying where you can hear the TV, Harry!
*I suspect Vernon's "as if a normal boy cares what's on the news" is some mention of how Harry is totally engaged with the world and saving it because he's Harry Potter. In fact, it makes him no different than those normal boys who are more interested in Evil Wizard threats to funderful candyland world of Hogwarts than they are in what's going on in the actual world. Because it's more interesting. And in Harry's case, it's all about him.
*To be fair, within his own funderful world Harry is a crusader for the rights of the downtrodden and greatly concerned with a fair justice system for all...oh wait, no he isn't.
*Harry's glad he's hiding when Mrs. Figg comes by, because she asks him into tea. The Harry/Mrs. Figg relationship is really one of the most touching in the books. Remember how when he was just 11 and had no friends and was abused by everyone he used to bitch about being babysat by her because he had to pretend to be interested in her?
*Harry snorts at how clueless Petunia is about Dudley. He must have inherited his own cluelessness about people he lives with from her. At least she can name the boys Dudley knows.
*In fact Dudley hangs out on streetcorners with his friends smoking and doing bad teenage boy stuff. Yeah, that Dudley's a real loser. He doesn't get to live in emotionally stunted land where adults stay children forever.
*Get the feeling Harry's totally looking forward to Voldemort destroying the world just so he's proved right? Yeah, me too.
*Vernon responds to the Spanish baggage workers strike by saying they should "Give 'em a lifelong siesta." Remember, Uncle Vernon is a bigoted jerk folks. Be sure to contrast this with Harry the loving and beloved slave-owner at the end of the series.
*Harry tunes out since VOLDEMORT ATTACKS! isn't the first thing on the news. He's long learned that anything he cares about is important enough to everyone in the world that it should be the lead story.
*Wait, Harry shows a rare moment of brains in realizing that perhaps an evil wizard gaining power could leave more subtle signs in the Muggle world. Like an unexplained disappearance. That never happens except by magic.
*I kind of wish Harry would hear a news report about some strange man who accidentally electrocuted himself and died and that turns out to be Voldemort who couldn't last in the actual Muggle world any more than any of these other jokers could.
*And another dig at Aunt Petunia who reads gossip magazines while saying she doesn't care about celebrities and their divorces. I only care about important celebrity news, myself. Like JKR saying she thinks one of her characters was gay. Because that's a great blow for gay rights (in fact a much greater blow for gay rights than it would have been to actually write the character gay in the book so shut up!).
*Harry stops listening at the water-skiing budgies, which is apparently less interesting than frogs turning purple or whatever he'll spend half the year learning at school this year.
*Harry pulls his wand out of his jeans as if he's unsheathing a sword. And you know he looks like that too. The neighbors across the street are like, "Look, that boy's lying in the dirt playing at being a knight again. I think he's retarded."
*So he keeps his wand in the waistband of his jeans? How does that work? Must be hard to move around with a stick of wood down your pants.
*Vernon's supposed to be strangling Harry? I think somebody's been watching The Simpsons.
*Would have served Dumbledore right if he did strangle him, though. The WW might have actually had to get it together and fight the three dozen DEs and destroy the five trinkets themselves.
*Harry will have to pay for his rudeness later. Really? It seems like they've all just settled into constant rudeness that Harry's far beyond really being able to suffer from the way he used to.
*Harry thinks maybe he's just desperate for a sign from the world to which he belongs. The world of dancing tea cups and talking candy and wangdoodly doodleback trees. He's completely unfit for our world by now.
*Harry only cares about headline news. Of course he himself makes all sections of the paper--the gossip columns, the personals, home and garden, sports page. But he's only really interested in the front page news.
*Harry's thrown away his birthday chocolates because he's angry at Ron and Hermione, which isn't like Dudley throwing away his presents because Harry has a lot to be upset about, dammit!
*Harry wonders why he isn't the one who's busy? Hadn't he proved himself by almost getting himself killed but for a magical fluke? Harry's pretty much failing his way up in the world.
*Harry's resisted the urge to tie his trunk to his broomstick and set off for the burrow on his own. Oh, I'd have loved to see that. Somehow it puts me in mind of those guys who tie weather balloons to their lawn chairs and screw up air traffic needing to be rescued.
*For some reason Harry thinks it's absurd to be told not to be rash by somebody who spent 12 years in prison before planning a perfectly executed escape and planning to assassinate the person trying to kill his godson before escaping again to safety. If that's rash, the Count of Monte Cristo was downright hare-brained.
*Spoiler: Sirius is going to do something rash in this book.
*Nice that Harry's nightmares about Cedric disappear in time for him to have nothing to say about him to Cho.
*Harry's attractive scar prickles a lot now. A scar that's just as bad as having pustules across his face, btw.
*If it hadn't been for Harry, nobody would know Voldemort was back! Not sure what credit Harry's claiming here for himself, exactly. "I saw JFK get shot in Dallas--how come I'm not leading the investigation?"
*Everybody's forgotten Harry! OMG, this man must be an absolute NIGHTMARE to live with. It's a good thing he married a woman who's at best a fifth of a personality that exists entirely in Harry's empty spaces.
*The boys are singing loud, crude songs. This must totally offend our chaste young hero.
*Dudley's thin now. We totally should have known this signalled a change for the better.
*The neighbor children are even more terrified of Dudley than they are of that Potter boy, whom they probably really do think is just a bit "special."
*Harry decides to pick on Dudley to work off some of that righteous rage.
*You know, Harry is totally being set up as the bad boy (in a good way, of course, not the Draco-way) here, but compared to any normal teenager he's such a 9-year-old.
*Yeah, JKR wishes Harry had a "delinquent appearance."
*Harry makes fun of Dudley being called "Big D." What are they calling you these days, Harry? The Boy Who Lived or The Chosen One?
*Hey, Harry. Mark was ASKING FOR IT when Dudley beat him up. So what if he's ten? He cheeked him. Rock on, Dudley, you Gryff you!
*And then Dudley totally pwns Harry with his Cedric comment. You know, I always thought theories about Harry losing his magic were wrong, but wouldn't that have been great? C'mon, Chosen One. Live amongst us Muggles again. See if you're Head of Anything by the time you're 27.
*Dudley, having made Harry look like the idiot he pretty much is, must be turned to jelly immediately by the kind of ghoulish horror only Harry can face!
*Mrs. Figg turns up to begin her I'M A SQUIB, GET IT? act. She'll be hitting that one note a lot from now on.
The Cricket Rule / Day-for-Night
Yes, Dudley, it is indeed night when it goes all dark like this and the crickets chirp.
Designated Hero
It might seem like no war could ever need the whining kid in the flower bed, but in fact the whole world will stand around twiddling their thumbs until he saves them. And probably hear about it for the rest of their lives.
Foley Work
Yes, the whole neighborhood runs to the window when they hear a popping sound.
Hero’s Death Battle Exemption
Hasn't Harry proved himself a hero by not dying at the end of the last book? Only the hero would get an exemption like that, dammit!
Idiot World
See the frustrating holding pattern this whole chapter is in? This will go on for three more books.
Informed Attributes
Harry's heroic and also kind of a bad ass and Sirius is rash.
McGuffin
No, Voldemort actually won't be doing anything in this book besides sitting on his arse. Pretty much the whole Harry/Voldemort conflict will eventually devolve into a war for who can sit on his arse longer before something happens.
Final score: 7
*He's demented all right. This is the chapter where he begins to become one of Harry's adoring hoard although we don't yet know it. You put up a good fight Dudley.
*You know all the neighbors really do avoid Harry, because he totally comes across like some angry young disturbed kid building bombs in his garage.
*Actually, he always reminds me of Bad Ronald in this opening, if you know who that is.
*Harry's grown a lot in a short space of time, but he hasn't become a great big hottie yet. The hotness has to catch up to the growth in the next book so Harry can be all unawares.
*On the whole, Harry thinks he should be congratulated by thinking to lie in the dirt under the window to hear the news. Apparently Harry has the same opinion of his intelligence as readers do. Gold star for lying where you can hear the TV, Harry!
*I suspect Vernon's "as if a normal boy cares what's on the news" is some mention of how Harry is totally engaged with the world and saving it because he's Harry Potter. In fact, it makes him no different than those normal boys who are more interested in Evil Wizard threats to funderful candyland world of Hogwarts than they are in what's going on in the actual world. Because it's more interesting. And in Harry's case, it's all about him.
*To be fair, within his own funderful world Harry is a crusader for the rights of the downtrodden and greatly concerned with a fair justice system for all...oh wait, no he isn't.
*Harry's glad he's hiding when Mrs. Figg comes by, because she asks him into tea. The Harry/Mrs. Figg relationship is really one of the most touching in the books. Remember how when he was just 11 and had no friends and was abused by everyone he used to bitch about being babysat by her because he had to pretend to be interested in her?
*Harry snorts at how clueless Petunia is about Dudley. He must have inherited his own cluelessness about people he lives with from her. At least she can name the boys Dudley knows.
*In fact Dudley hangs out on streetcorners with his friends smoking and doing bad teenage boy stuff. Yeah, that Dudley's a real loser. He doesn't get to live in emotionally stunted land where adults stay children forever.
*Get the feeling Harry's totally looking forward to Voldemort destroying the world just so he's proved right? Yeah, me too.
*Vernon responds to the Spanish baggage workers strike by saying they should "Give 'em a lifelong siesta." Remember, Uncle Vernon is a bigoted jerk folks. Be sure to contrast this with Harry the loving and beloved slave-owner at the end of the series.
*Harry tunes out since VOLDEMORT ATTACKS! isn't the first thing on the news. He's long learned that anything he cares about is important enough to everyone in the world that it should be the lead story.
*Wait, Harry shows a rare moment of brains in realizing that perhaps an evil wizard gaining power could leave more subtle signs in the Muggle world. Like an unexplained disappearance. That never happens except by magic.
*I kind of wish Harry would hear a news report about some strange man who accidentally electrocuted himself and died and that turns out to be Voldemort who couldn't last in the actual Muggle world any more than any of these other jokers could.
*And another dig at Aunt Petunia who reads gossip magazines while saying she doesn't care about celebrities and their divorces. I only care about important celebrity news, myself. Like JKR saying she thinks one of her characters was gay. Because that's a great blow for gay rights (in fact a much greater blow for gay rights than it would have been to actually write the character gay in the book so shut up!).
*Harry stops listening at the water-skiing budgies, which is apparently less interesting than frogs turning purple or whatever he'll spend half the year learning at school this year.
*Harry pulls his wand out of his jeans as if he's unsheathing a sword. And you know he looks like that too. The neighbors across the street are like, "Look, that boy's lying in the dirt playing at being a knight again. I think he's retarded."
*So he keeps his wand in the waistband of his jeans? How does that work? Must be hard to move around with a stick of wood down your pants.
*Vernon's supposed to be strangling Harry? I think somebody's been watching The Simpsons.
*Would have served Dumbledore right if he did strangle him, though. The WW might have actually had to get it together and fight the three dozen DEs and destroy the five trinkets themselves.
*Harry will have to pay for his rudeness later. Really? It seems like they've all just settled into constant rudeness that Harry's far beyond really being able to suffer from the way he used to.
*Harry thinks maybe he's just desperate for a sign from the world to which he belongs. The world of dancing tea cups and talking candy and wangdoodly doodleback trees. He's completely unfit for our world by now.
*Harry only cares about headline news. Of course he himself makes all sections of the paper--the gossip columns, the personals, home and garden, sports page. But he's only really interested in the front page news.
*Harry's thrown away his birthday chocolates because he's angry at Ron and Hermione, which isn't like Dudley throwing away his presents because Harry has a lot to be upset about, dammit!
*Harry wonders why he isn't the one who's busy? Hadn't he proved himself by almost getting himself killed but for a magical fluke? Harry's pretty much failing his way up in the world.
*Harry's resisted the urge to tie his trunk to his broomstick and set off for the burrow on his own. Oh, I'd have loved to see that. Somehow it puts me in mind of those guys who tie weather balloons to their lawn chairs and screw up air traffic needing to be rescued.
*For some reason Harry thinks it's absurd to be told not to be rash by somebody who spent 12 years in prison before planning a perfectly executed escape and planning to assassinate the person trying to kill his godson before escaping again to safety. If that's rash, the Count of Monte Cristo was downright hare-brained.
*Spoiler: Sirius is going to do something rash in this book.
*Nice that Harry's nightmares about Cedric disappear in time for him to have nothing to say about him to Cho.
*Harry's attractive scar prickles a lot now. A scar that's just as bad as having pustules across his face, btw.
*If it hadn't been for Harry, nobody would know Voldemort was back! Not sure what credit Harry's claiming here for himself, exactly. "I saw JFK get shot in Dallas--how come I'm not leading the investigation?"
*Everybody's forgotten Harry! OMG, this man must be an absolute NIGHTMARE to live with. It's a good thing he married a woman who's at best a fifth of a personality that exists entirely in Harry's empty spaces.
*The boys are singing loud, crude songs. This must totally offend our chaste young hero.
*Dudley's thin now. We totally should have known this signalled a change for the better.
*The neighbor children are even more terrified of Dudley than they are of that Potter boy, whom they probably really do think is just a bit "special."
*Harry decides to pick on Dudley to work off some of that righteous rage.
*You know, Harry is totally being set up as the bad boy (in a good way, of course, not the Draco-way) here, but compared to any normal teenager he's such a 9-year-old.
*Yeah, JKR wishes Harry had a "delinquent appearance."
*Harry makes fun of Dudley being called "Big D." What are they calling you these days, Harry? The Boy Who Lived or The Chosen One?
*Hey, Harry. Mark was ASKING FOR IT when Dudley beat him up. So what if he's ten? He cheeked him. Rock on, Dudley, you Gryff you!
*And then Dudley totally pwns Harry with his Cedric comment. You know, I always thought theories about Harry losing his magic were wrong, but wouldn't that have been great? C'mon, Chosen One. Live amongst us Muggles again. See if you're Head of Anything by the time you're 27.
*Dudley, having made Harry look like the idiot he pretty much is, must be turned to jelly immediately by the kind of ghoulish horror only Harry can face!
*Mrs. Figg turns up to begin her I'M A SQUIB, GET IT? act. She'll be hitting that one note a lot from now on.
The Cricket Rule / Day-for-Night
Yes, Dudley, it is indeed night when it goes all dark like this and the crickets chirp.
Designated Hero
It might seem like no war could ever need the whining kid in the flower bed, but in fact the whole world will stand around twiddling their thumbs until he saves them. And probably hear about it for the rest of their lives.
Foley Work
Yes, the whole neighborhood runs to the window when they hear a popping sound.
Hero’s Death Battle Exemption
Hasn't Harry proved himself a hero by not dying at the end of the last book? Only the hero would get an exemption like that, dammit!
Idiot World
See the frustrating holding pattern this whole chapter is in? This will go on for three more books.
Informed Attributes
Harry's heroic and also kind of a bad ass and Sirius is rash.
McGuffin
No, Voldemort actually won't be doing anything in this book besides sitting on his arse. Pretty much the whole Harry/Voldemort conflict will eventually devolve into a war for who can sit on his arse longer before something happens.
Final score: 7
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