Deathly Hallows, chapter 2

[anehan]

In Memoriam

* The Dursleys are leaving tea cups outside Harry's bedroom door. What are they, house elves?

*Harry has never learned to heal wounds and thinks it's a serious flaw in his magical education. Maybe he ought to have, you know, studied during the six years at Hogwarts instead of letting Hermione do all his work for him. Sorry, Harry, but you have no one else than yourself to blame. Normal people, if they had a lunatic after their blood, would have actually devoted some time for making sure they weren't completely unprepared.

* Harry has never cleaned his trunk before. Gross. Our Harry isn't much for hygiene.

* Finding a fragment of the mirror Sirius had given him, Harry feels a sudden upsurge of bitter memories, stabs of regret and longing. He suffers, I tell you.

* Harry is going to take his photograh album and a stack of letters with him. Good lord, what does he think he's going to do with them. The boy is an idiot.

* And we come to the sickening obituary by Elphias Doge. One more person whom Dumbledore managed to hoodwink into believing he was a noble person.

* Dumbledore never revealed the remotest anti-Muggle tendency. Except when he bullied the Dursleys. But that doesn't count, because the Dursleys totally deserved it.

* Dumbledore became the most brilliant student Hogwarts had ever seen and constantly outshone his friends. Bet he liked that. It would have done good for him to be second-best at something. Instead, everything confirmed him in his belief that he was superior to others and that it was his duty to manipulate others for the greater good.

* According to Doge, Dumbledore never had Ministerial ambitions. True enough. He just wanted to take over the world.

* "Albus Dumbledore was never proud or vain". Ahahahahahaa!

* Dumbledore's losses "endowed him with great humanity and sympathy". Bitch, please. The man is clearly incapable of empathy.

* Doge was right in one thing, though: Dumbledore always worked for the greater good. Too bad his methods and definition of "greater good" were rather questionable.

* Harry had thought he knew Dumbledore quite well. What made him think that? The great openness Dumbledore displayed in his dealings with Harry, perhaps?

* Harry thinks that the idea of a teen-aged Dumbledore was odd, like trying to imagine a stupid Hermione. Much as I love Hermione, I have no problem in imagining her stupid. She isn't half so clever as she likes to think. For example, what good did it do to the DA to brand the traitor's face? It didn't prevent Marietta from squealing.

* The only personal question Harry had asked Dumbledore was the only one he suspected Dumbledore hadn't answered honestly. That's too naïve even for Harry.

* Unpleasant Skeeter may be, but I at least would rather read her book than any more of Doge's pennings. There might ever be a shred of truth in what she writes, if you manage to discount the more lurid details.

* Skeeter calls the Potter-Dumbledore relationship unhealthy, even sinister. Brava! At least someone finally got it right.

* Another chapter in which nothing happens comes to an end. I really need that alcohol to get through this.



Informed Attributes:
Dumbledore is noble. No, really.

Misdirected Answering:
Did you hear what Dumbledore got up to as a teenager? What do you mean, you're not interested?

Nut o' Fun:
Desiccated beetle eyes.

Final score: 3. Nothing happens in this chapter.

Comments

[anehan]

Hello, and welcome to DTCL!

What's funny about this is that he thinks that, and then never even bothers to learn, relying on Hermione instead.

It's sad that I'm not the least bit surprised by that. He really is a lazy sod.

DH really is the worst book in the series. Even OotP and HBP had something to redeem them, but not so DH. I have to confess that I have no very clear memory og what happens in DH, because it's all so scattered and random and there isn't a real plot to sustain it.

[t0ra-chan.livejournal.com]

What's even funnier is that Harry does know some healing spells (he healed Demelza's nose in HBP), but suddenly doesn't know any at all. Just like Hermione can alter her parents memories, but a few chapters later has never done a memory charm.

The seventh book is by far the worst of the series; it's full of long, meaningless chapters in which nothing happens at all. And when things do happen it's written so horribly awfully that it's almost worse than the filler chapters.

I think this is because a) JKR wanted it to fit in with the other books in terms of time passing (a school year), and b) to have enough time for Tonks' and Remus' baby to be born. Notice how much stuff suddenly happens in a very short amount of time after Teddy's birth. Everything from the Gringott's heist to the final battle with Voldemort happens all in one day.

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Oh god, yes. Little did we know in first reading that this chapter was marking the beginning of EVERYONE IS SUDDENLY OBSESSED WITH DUMBLEDORE.

And the big mystery of his life was that he was friends with Magic!Hitler when they were both teenagers. Only Magic!Hitler was cool and good-looking and a lot of fun. And made Albus have a lot of ideas that despite what we're told aren't that different from the way he and all other wizards think now (Muggles can't take care of themselves as well as we can take care of them).

I love Harry's trunk full o'memories. JKR did get much better at the "previously on Harry Potter..." since GoF!

Look, Dumbledore's friends with somebody nobody else liked. That shows he's one of those awesome cool people like Harry. They're matched up with their token nerd on the Hogwarts Express so everybody can see what kind of kid they are right away.

[anehan]

JKR just comes up with all these new plots, like the Dumbledore one (or Harry's chest monster in HBP), and keeps talking about them instead of concentrating on what she has started previously, like Draco's story. IMO that's part of the reason why DH feels so scattered. JKR is a true master of Misdirected Answering.

Sigh

[va32h.livejournal.com]

I feel rather depressed as the one-year anniversary of Harry Potter and the Sack of Poo approaches. I still remember vividly my feelings of disbelief, then horror as I realized that this was, indeed, the real book.

This chapter strikes me as the most fan-ficcy of all, especially walk down memory lane via Harry's trunk.

Dammit, why did she have to make the last book such a pile of crap?

Re: Sigh

[anehan]

Those few days before DH was published aren't really something I remember with fondness. I kept going back to the leaked book, not from any kind of admiration or even willingness to read it, but because it was like a train wreck I couldn't tear my eyes from.

[anehan]

Very funny. This gesture from Dudley rang completely false to me.

It feels like foreshadowing for the Kreacher thing. Everyone must love Harry Potter. Yuck.

[aasaylva.livejournal.com]

This gesture from Dudley rang completely false to me.
YES!!! The whole Dudley redemption plot was like taken out of some early evening soap opera. Cheap cheaper Rowling. "I don't think you are a waste of space" made me want to vomit - and here I once thought, a sentence like "Hogwarts isn't Hogwarts without you" from the CoS movie was something I'd never encounter in a JKR book.

What was Jo's point here?
Of course - she is quite fond of playing with sexual innuendoes (Aberforth's ghost, anyone) while posing at the same time as very surprised anyone should have thought THAT about it. Dumbledore's outing just was a publicity stunt, well calculated to hit after the initial hype about DH had died down while not endangering the sales in the first place.

[tdotm.livejournal.com]

I’ve just posted on the Ch.1 page that JKR shoots herself in the foot, by raising more questions than she answers. 'Misdirected Answering' is such a good way to put it, helkamaria. I found 6 important but unanswered questions in Ch.1 alone. If anyone wants to look at my replies to Ch. One, feel free - she works like an amateur.

In Ch. 2, she took a potentially interesting sub plot (Albus is actually dark, he doesn’t just seem that way because of my poor writing) and wrote far too much, making it dull. Harry looked silly over the healing charms thing. Solution - Harry cuts his hand, wishes that Healing Charms weren’t all NEWT level, remembers Lockhart’s attempt to mend his arm, shudders and is glad they are, is even more glad that reliable Hermione has read ahead as always, and determines to ask her. Point made and Harry, thinking ahead, looks sensible. Sadly, for some reason JKR insists on making her ’Hero’ look like an idiot all the time, so never bothers with this sort of damage control.

As for the Mirror- what did that ever achieve? When I saw it mentioned, my heart sank. I thought it’d have to be of major importance in this book to compensate for the nonsense in Book Five. Yeah right!

1. Harry loved Sirius like a father, apparently. So when he gave him a gift, he threw it in the bottom of his trunk? OK, he didn't want to use it , but wouldn't he want to keep it close - or even look at it? Apparently not. More proof (if needed) that Harry's an idiot. Sirius isn't too bright either - why did he never want to do a run-through with Harry to ensure it was working/ explain how it worked? Can it summon the owner of the other mirror, if they‘re not peering into it at the time? Does it beep?

2. (Oh God!) Convinced that Sirius is being tortured to death, Harry storms about determined to go on a kamikaze mission. Hermione manages to restrain him enough to convince him to contact Grimauld Place. Oh, how to contact Sirius in an emergency? I know, Umbridge’s fireplace. Sigh. He is then fooled by the House Elf WHO HATES HIM. He gets everyone captured. They escape from their school in the Highlands of Scotland and take the slow Thestral to London. 8 hours later (if they fly as fast as a train) they arrive. The DEs would have given up and Sirius would be dead and decomposing by now, if it wasn’t a TRAP)

3. Sirius is dead. Sob. Harry finds the mirror. Oh no, I don’t want to remember him, it hurts - throw it away. I wonder what it did anyway?

What the Mirror achieved, therefore, was to make him look like an idiot, then a dangerous reckless idiot, then a gibbering idiot with amnesia. Hero? Not so much. He suffered so much over Cedric’s death, for which he was blameless. Then fails to feel guilty over Sirius where he certainly created the opportunity, while not actually committing the crime. If he’d felt bad, I’d have felt bad for him. He didn’t so I wanted to slap him. JKR’s planning is the only thing to come off worse than Harry‘s reputation. Solution?

Scrap the Mirror from the entire series. Nice idea, but it actually damaged the story and its credibility. If Harry and Ron find themselves trapped in a dungeon later on in Deathly Hallows, Harry can shout ‘Dobby’ and the story can continue. They could still be rescued by Aberforth Dumbledore, if they apparate like fools into Hogsmeade and sensationally find it under curfew. He, like everyone will know Harry‘s on a quest, and they can find other things to talk about. Part 47 of 'Albus Dumbledore was a lot deeper than a kindly old man (and a lot more tiresome)' for a start.

However, this version might draw attention to another massive unanswered question. Why on EARTH did they not call for Dobby, or their new best friend Kreacher, while they were starving in the forest for what felt like 245,000 years? We know Harry is retarded, but Hermione? Also, Ron didn’t take the absence of his home comforts at all well - I refuse to believe he’d forget that Shepherd’s Pie he loved so much. I can’t remember if the House Elves were mentioned and dismissed (I’m not going through all that rubbish again in a hurry), but I doubt it. Why? Why did JKR mess this all up so badly? Sob.

Sorry, jumping ahead, but nothing happened in Ch2!

[anehan]

The Mirror really is completely superfluous. You're perfectly right that everything could have worked perfectly without it.

[tdotm.livejournal.com]

What if Remus gave Harry a brightly wrapped package soon after Sirius' death? What if the attached note said something along the lines of:-

Dear Harry,
It's hard being apart most of the time - especially in our mutual prisons! I've asked Remus to pass this on to you as I won't see you before your birthday. Enclosed is a mirror - I hold its twin. If you look in it and say 'Nicky Nacky Noo', it'll activate mine. Then just shout till I hear you and we'll be able to talk whenever we want, however far apart we are. I'll always keep it close.
Your loving godfather
Sirius

If I'd have read that after Sirius' death, I'd have been really upset. Surely most readers would really feel for Harry at that point instead of thinking "Our Hero is a Moron!"? Then, as we wiped our tears, Remus could hand Harry the other mirror which Harry gives to Ron and they arrange to talk on a regular basis over the holidays.

2 books later, if Ron should be influenced by Dark Magic and get separated from Harry, he can perhaps overhear his location via this mirror in the same way as Phinneas, and arrive in time to save his worthless hide from drowning. Surely far better to use an established means of communication than using that appalling, unbelievable contrivance, the deluminator with sudden inexplicable 'best friends sensor and transporter' skills.

That's how someone who can't write at all would use the Mirror. Still, JKR is the professional writer, who are we to argue.........

[horridporrid.livejournal.com]

*Harry has never learned to heal wounds and thinks it's a serious flaw in his magical education.

Nearly of age and can't handle the magical equivalent of a band-aid. Wizards are cool because...?

Harry has never cleaned his trunk before. Gross. Our Harry isn't much for hygiene.

It's funny, I'd always taken that running joke of Harry's lack of bathing as very tongue-in-cheek. Because of course the author isn't going to mention every bath or teeth-brushing or whathaveyou. But beginning in this chapter, probably because of the heavy detail with everything else, Harry really did start coming across as a particularly filthy little boy. I mean, the kind that actually smells bad.

* Harry had thought he knew Dumbledore quite well. What made him think that?

Really. Another "huh?" moment here. I don't recall Harry thinking that in other books. It always seemed like he saw Dumbledore as far above him, like a fairly removed headmaster, one would almost say. ;)

Did you hear what Dumbledore got up to as a teenager? What do you mean, you're not interested?

I'm not sure if this was the exact moment I got kind of queasy about the direction of the book. But I do recall wondering why we were getting so much about Dumbledore's death, and why Harry was dwelling on his knowledge of Dumbledore so. I mean, it's not like this could be important to the plot, right? Not with all those other exciting plot points and character relationships to be dealt with, right? I mean, this must be an extra-long build up into Harry dealing with his life-altering relationship with Snape, right? ...right?

[anehan]

It's funny that in OotP, HBP and DH JKR takes pains to specifically mention how Harry's room is not only untidy, but actually dirty. In OotP Hedwig's cage is starting to smell, in HBP there's rubbish strewn around, and in DH there's the trunk. I wonder what she's after with that. Untidiness I could understand (typical teen-aged boy), but dirtiness is something else, especially contrasted with the cleanliness of the rest of the house.

[soldforasmile.livejournal.com]

It's been just about a full year since I've touched DH, but I do remember really hating this chapter. It seemed like such an obvious info-dump that it didn't even feel like a proper part of the book.

*Harry has never learned to heal wounds and thinks it's a serious flaw in his magical education. Maybe he ought to have, you know, studied during the six years at Hogwarts instead of letting Hermione do all his work for him. Sorry, Harry, but you have no one else than yourself to blame. Normal people, if they had a lunatic after their blood, would have actually devoted some time for making sure they weren't completely unprepared.

It's so weird that they were never taught this in school. I mean, considering that Hogwarts seems to be it, education-wise, for wizards that aren't going into something more advanced in their careers. Being able to heal wounds seems like it would be a basic concept, especially since they have a whole class devoted to defending themselves from harmful magic. It's a hell of a lot more useful than being able to turn kittens into teacups or whatever else they teach (which in itself always squicked me out a bit, as an animal person).

* Harry is going to take his photograh album and a stack of letters with him. Good lord, what does he think he's going to do with them. The boy is an idiot.

This might have been purposefully done to show Harry being a little naive in terms of preparing for a war - but, really, if the hero hasn't done enough growing up by the seventh book to know better than this, he's hopeless.

* And we come to the sickening obituary by Elphias Doge. One more person whom Dumbledore managed to hoodwink into believing he was a noble person.

Elphias Doge is single-handedly the reason why Dumbledore being gay didn't surprise me at all. The guy had a mad crush on Dumbledore is all I'm saying.

* Skeeter calls the Potter-Dumbledore relationship unhealthy, even sinister. Brava! At least someone finally got it right.

I thought it was strange how this was worded, it had some odd implications. But I might be reading too much into that.

* Another chapter in which nothing happens comes to an end. I really need that alcohol to get through this.

LOL, I was entertaining the idea of rereading DH until I was reminded of how much nothing goes on in the entire book. I might still force myself to endure it.

[anehan]

I thought it was strange how this was worded, it had some odd implications. But I might be reading too much into that.

It definitely has some paedo vibes about it. I'm not saying that DD was really sexually interested in Harry (though this is, IMO, what Rita implies here), but IMO Rita is right that the Harry-Dumbledore relationship is unhealthy. I really can't explain it, except that it feels creepy to me.

I could understand it if DD took an interest in Harry in order to help him prepare for his role in the war, but that's not what happens. Instead, DD seems to only want Harry as his puppet. True, that's what DD wants from his relationships with other people as well, but it's a bit different when it's a Headmaster and his 11-year-old student, who has no way of "defending" himself. Who is, in short, susceptible to manipulation in a way that an adult wouldn't be.

[montavilla.livejournal.com]

I thought it was strange how this was worded, it had some odd implications. But I might be reading too much into that.
There's a number of things like that in the book. I mean, starting with Dumbledore in his fabulous purple robes (not to mention the pimp suit in HBP). You kind of want to read that as gay, but then stop short because it's such a retro-crypto-gay image. Like the "sissy" character that pops up in old movies (like, 1930s).

Then you have that reference to Aberforth and the goats. Umbridge and the centaurs. Ariana and her mysterious trauma. The many wands=dicks jokes. Merope and her father. Fenrir's "taste" for young kids.

There's this underlying sexuality running through the books that adults pick up on--and let's hope it goes over the heads of the kids--like a dirty joke.

Obviously, the crypo-gay references to Dumbledore were intentional. The goats probably were and Fenrir probably was. The wand jokes are to obvious not to be. Umbridge, Ariana, and Merope are still unknown.

This pedophilia thing with Dumbledore and Harry was hinted at a leeeeetle in either GoF or OotP. At least, I remember catching some reference and thinking that Fudge was either concerned about their relationship or implying it in order to discredit Dumbledore.

What's funniest about all of this (funny strange, not so much funny ha-ha) is that JKR didn't seem to realize the sexual tension between Sirius/Remus, Sirius/James, or Remus/Snape. With Snape, she had her twist already in place. But it does feel as though, with Sirius and Remus, she was doing damage control.

[saylee.livejournal.com]

The only thing I remember liking from this chapter was Skeeter's book, and I'd totally be willing to buy her insinuations about the relationship between Dumbledore and Harry, if only Dumbledore weren't the only gay character in the series. Way to go perpetuating the harmful stereotypes, Rowling!

* Another chapter in which nothing happens comes to an end. I really need that alcohol to get through this.

I know I couldn't make it through, back when I attempted a DTCL reread. Maybe I should have tried drinking. Kudos to you for tackling this monstrosity!

[anehan]

Yes, in the light of the information that Dumbledore was gay, Rita's insinuation isn't funny at all.

[sunnyskywalker]

As info-dumpy as this chapter was, I would much rather have had DH be a wizarding history text with some articles pasted in than a litany of wedding plans, camping, clumsy WWII references, and plot holes. Rita's book sounds fun to read. And what about Hogwarts, a History?

[anehan]

I would gladly trade DH for Hogwarts, a History.

[go-back-chief.livejournal.com]

Harry had thought he knew Dumbledore quite well. What made him think that?

Seriously.

For example, what good did it do to the DA to brand the traitor's face? It didn't prevent Marietta from squealing.

You've got your priorities wrong, Helkamaria. We don't want a world wherein people don't squeal, that would be boring. We want one where they squeal for entertainment value and then get punished for great justice!

if you manage to discount the more lurid details.

You have to admit Skeeter seems rather scarse with lurid details, though, what with being above mentioning Dumbledore's sexuality and forbidden infatuation.

[anehan]

You've got your priorities wrong, Helkamaria. We don't want a world wherein people don't squeal, that would be boring. We want one where they squeal for entertainment value and then get punished for great justice!

My bad. No doubt I'm a slimy Slytherin for disapproving of Punishments and Justice.

[anehan]

People just sitting in a tent, heh.