Deathly Hallows, chapter 2

[anehan]

In Memoriam

* The Dursleys are leaving tea cups outside Harry's bedroom door. What are they, house elves?

*Harry has never learned to heal wounds and thinks it's a serious flaw in his magical education. Maybe he ought to have, you know, studied during the six years at Hogwarts instead of letting Hermione do all his work for him. Sorry, Harry, but you have no one else than yourself to blame. Normal people, if they had a lunatic after their blood, would have actually devoted some time for making sure they weren't completely unprepared.

* Harry has never cleaned his trunk before. Gross. Our Harry isn't much for hygiene.

* Finding a fragment of the mirror Sirius had given him, Harry feels a sudden upsurge of bitter memories, stabs of regret and longing. He suffers, I tell you.

* Harry is going to take his photograh album and a stack of letters with him. Good lord, what does he think he's going to do with them. The boy is an idiot.

* And we come to the sickening obituary by Elphias Doge. One more person whom Dumbledore managed to hoodwink into believing he was a noble person.

* Dumbledore never revealed the remotest anti-Muggle tendency. Except when he bullied the Dursleys. But that doesn't count, because the Dursleys totally deserved it.

* Dumbledore became the most brilliant student Hogwarts had ever seen and constantly outshone his friends. Bet he liked that. It would have done good for him to be second-best at something. Instead, everything confirmed him in his belief that he was superior to others and that it was his duty to manipulate others for the greater good.

* According to Doge, Dumbledore never had Ministerial ambitions. True enough. He just wanted to take over the world.

* "Albus Dumbledore was never proud or vain". Ahahahahahaa!

* Dumbledore's losses "endowed him with great humanity and sympathy". Bitch, please. The man is clearly incapable of empathy.

* Doge was right in one thing, though: Dumbledore always worked for the greater good. Too bad his methods and definition of "greater good" were rather questionable.

* Harry had thought he knew Dumbledore quite well. What made him think that? The great openness Dumbledore displayed in his dealings with Harry, perhaps?

* Harry thinks that the idea of a teen-aged Dumbledore was odd, like trying to imagine a stupid Hermione. Much as I love Hermione, I have no problem in imagining her stupid. She isn't half so clever as she likes to think. For example, what good did it do to the DA to brand the traitor's face? It didn't prevent Marietta from squealing.

* The only personal question Harry had asked Dumbledore was the only one he suspected Dumbledore hadn't answered honestly. That's too naïve even for Harry.

* Unpleasant Skeeter may be, but I at least would rather read her book than any more of Doge's pennings. There might ever be a shred of truth in what she writes, if you manage to discount the more lurid details.

* Skeeter calls the Potter-Dumbledore relationship unhealthy, even sinister. Brava! At least someone finally got it right.

* Another chapter in which nothing happens comes to an end. I really need that alcohol to get through this.



Informed Attributes:
Dumbledore is noble. No, really.

Misdirected Answering:
Did you hear what Dumbledore got up to as a teenager? What do you mean, you're not interested?

Nut o' Fun:
Desiccated beetle eyes.

Final score: 3. Nothing happens in this chapter.

Comments

[j-lunatic.livejournal.com]

*Nods* I've tried to reread it, but I keep skipping over the Camping Trip From Hell and jumping ahead to Neville's entrance. And they're going to make two movies out of this? What, are they going to shoot the tent sequences in real time?

[anehan]

Two movies? Oh my god.

[tabaquis.livejournal.com]

Well, they said that about GoF, too, but they didn't... which is too bad, it really could have used it.

[jodel-from-aol.livejournal.com]

It seems to have been confirmed.

Well do you blame Warners? There may not be a story in this book, but there are at least seven potential grand spectacular set-pieces. And that's too many for one movie.

Besides, heaven forfend that anyone should fail to have the whole Harry Potter franchise yapping at their heels until they can get the theme park open...

[tdotm.livejournal.com]

I can blame them! The story's so weak in DH. I thought they'd cut the camping down to nothing. Harry and Ron could row, and end up not talking, but Ron stays. Then, when Harry sees the Doe, Ron pops out for a pee, follows and saves him and we're spared scenes that this trio really aren't good enough to handle. (Rupert Grint's ok, but Emma Watson can suck the atmosphere out of any moment with a quick waggle of her eyebrows)

Warners should be careful with the locket's evil influence thing. They don't want Tolkien's tetchy son to be distracted from suing New Line and turn his attentions to JKR's embarrassing rip off.

Plus 5 of the set pieces are exactly the same. Seven Potters, The Ministry, Godrics Hollow, Xeno Lovegood, Malfoy Manor. They're attacked by the baddies and just get away in the nick of time.They could easily have cut two. Much as I really fancy the idea of a snake bursting out of an old ladies neck, you don't want the DEs to keep looking stupid. Oh wait.

[va32h.livejournal.com]

Gary Oldman's been doing press for the Dark Knight, and he tells a story about Daniel Radcliffe calling him to say that WB is doing two movies for DH "because there's just so much material". And then Gary Oldman says he laughed at Radcliffe for being so naive and gently explained to him that WB is just trying to milk the last few drops of cash out of the franchise.

[esotery.livejournal.com]

oh, that's so funny

[mmmarcusz.livejournal.com]

Did Oldman also explain that young Daniel was not, in fact, a wizard? And that the reason Dumbledore changed wasn't a Face-Imploding Charm but that the original actor died?

[mmmarcusz.livejournal.com]

*Nods* I've tried to reread it, but I keep skipping over the Camping Trip From Hell and jumping ahead to Neville's entrance. And they're going to make two movies out of this? What, are they going to shoot the tent sequences in real time?

Maybe they saw the "Che" movies and thought, hey, 2 films of sitting in tents in the woods. Hasta la profita siempre!