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HBP Chapter One

Okay, since my Friday's are busy for a bit so I don't really have time to do new chapters, I thought I'd re-post HBP before considering the remaining books. It seemed to make sense since so much of what I originally thought about HBP changed with DH. I could probably just say NEVER MIND for each chapter, but hey, my ideas were so wrong it's practically like reading a whole new book!



*One thing that doesn't change is how much I still dislike this chapter. Muggles are stupid, get it? So are politicians who get elected in some democratic fashion instead of being placed in a position for being heroic. So the Muggle Prime Minister is doubly screwed.

*First paragraph and already the Minister sounds like an overgrown child, worried about his opponent saying everything is his fault. Is it impossible to be a politician and an adult in these books? Doesn't anyone who actually cares about society ever run for public office?

*ETA:Luckily being the Head of State means you have very little to do with what's actually going on in your country, especially if you're fighting a war. Leave that to the Chosen Ones.

*If Voldemort can randomly collapse bridges and cause hurricanes, why doesn't he whip it out when he's facing Harry and his friends? Is the entire population of Muggles wearing red shirts? ETA: No answer there.

*Two murders are blamed on the Prime Minister's government? Is the murder rate really really low in England? It's not like Floyd and Goober getting chopped up in Mayberry, RFD.

*Apparently even Muggles know friends of Dumbledore are more important than anyone else.

*I'm sure the hurricane in the West Country was not Unnamed Minister's fault--I'm also sure that Unnamed Minister responded a bit more professionally than Unnamed President of a Distant Country in 2005.

*Oh, and btw, there was no hurricane. It's lucky that the Muggles in HP seem to have no technology beyond broken telephone booths, TVs, underground trains and Playstations so they can't study any of these phenomena.

*Of course, if Muggles had regular technology they'd know that the Prime Minister could, you know, set up a camera and RECORD the visits of the various Magic people so it actually wouldn't have to all rest on his word. I'm going to have to assume that in fact all Muggles in Rowling's universe know about the magical world and are just indulging the childish wizards. In fact they've also developed a cure for Memory Charms long ago. ETA: Hermione's parents will nevertheless pretend to forget her for the rest of their lives.

*So Muggles are all becoming more miserable, the pathetic victims of Dementor flatulence, yet wizards are totally fine and there's no mist there.

*You know, given the way wizards operate, particularly the politicians, I imagine a real Muggle Prime Minister might actually be able to dominate them quite easily. I guess that's why he has to be made into an idiot. ETA: Kind of like the entire freakin' planet.

*The Prime Minister does not like being made to feel like an ignorant schoolboy--I do not like him being made to look like an ignorant schoolboy, so we're even.

*Another little dig at politicians--the P.M. is sitting in his office, gloating, after years of dreaming and scheming. That's really all it's about. That's totally why Arthur Weasley isn't Minister for Magic, uh huh. He's not a schemer. ETA: Thank goodness we're hurtling towards a Golden Age where MoM will be all part of Dumbledore's crew. (Yes, that includes Hagrid.)

*Despite a lifetime of dreaming and scheming, the fifth sight of a man in a green bowler hat who can step out of the wall turns his brains to mush. No thoughts of using that to his advantage. Did this dreaming and scheming ever rise above the level of tricking Mummy into giving him two desserts?

*Apparently SIRIUS is strictly a wizarding name. Who knew?

*The Prime Minister has trouble following stories with names like Hogwarts, Quidditch and Harry Potter in his head. I hate to think how he deals with complicated situations with far more difficult names in other countries.

*If you ask Fudge, Voldemort's not dangerous unless he's got support. I agree. Which is why I'm so scared now that he's got the help of the Kid Who Cries In Bathrooms and Auntie Crazy. ETA: And few other people, actually. Plus he massacres a dozen of them every couple of days.

*ETA: Note that Voldemort needs support while Harry pretty much needs to do it almost alone.

*Don't you think Snape would have had this Prime Minister up to speed and working together in five minutes? Snape for Minister for Magic! ETA: Sorry, that job might take away too much pining for Lily time.

*Apparently the Prime Minister has a persistent habit of wishing to appear well-informed on any subject that came up. It's a good thing the narrator tells me this; because I'd never have guessed with the "Bwah?" slack-jawed act he's been performing up until now. The man's seemingly freshly surprised every time he's told magic exists. I guess being persistent in this habit hasn't made him good at it.

*Three years on Prime Minister has apparently still not discovered that SIRIUS is not that uncommon a name.

*So Voldemort destroyed the bridge unless Fudge "stood aside" for him? Wouldn't he know by now he could kill as many Muggles as he wanted without wizards caring overmuch? It's like saying, "Let me run the government or the Gorillas in the Mist get it!"

*ETA: That's probably the greatest foreshadowing in the chapter. If you want to take over the MoM, just ask and have red eyes.

*Um, are giants invisible? Wouldn't people have seen them ripping up the trees or tromping over the downs? Oh, I see, some of them did. Only the Muggle grapevine is slow enough that the Wizards have time to go around modifying memories before the news crews show up.

*Usually news crews and hurricanes go together, but these Muggles prefer the traditional method of spreading information--gossiping in toilets. It's a bit slower.

*ETA: Boy, things will really go to hell in the next book, huh, if we're starting out with fake hurricanes and things? Or maybe they'll all disappear after this chapter.

*Naturally, even with hurricanes and bridge disasters to deal with, the P.M. has been closely following the Amelia Bones "locked room mystery" in the papers. Wizards even die cooler than Muggles. ETA: Remember when people thought Amelia Bones would be important? I mean, beyond being the deceased aunt-in-law of Cool Neville?

*Remember when we first heard the description of Rufus Scrimgeour and everyone thought he was going to be important? Fandom should remember the time it wasted on that whenever we get too obsessed about something.

*ETA: LOL! I should take my own advice there. Remember when everything in PS, CoS, PoA, GoF, OotP and HBP seemed like it was going to be important? Fandom should remember the time it wasted.

*You know, I like Kingsley Shacklebolt but I still get really pissed off at the whole "best worker I've ever had" crap. Arthur Weasley, the guy who studies Muggles, can't even work a turnstile, but they can stick any wizard in an important government position and he's automatically better than the Muggles. ETA: Sometimes it seems like KS has to be awesome at everything and be MoM for the p.c.-ness.

*Another point to the Prime Minister for not being able to articulate why Kingsley's skill does not make it okay that he's a mole. Really? Can't think of any reason?

*Chorley is acting like a duck due to a poorly performed Imperius. I think this may be more evidence that Draco did not actually Imperio Rosemerta. It seems far beyond his abilities. ETA: Unlike Harry, who's awesome at them!

*But for heavens sake, you're wizards! You can do magic! Surely you can sort out -- well -- anything! Yes, this is a man I'd feel good about as Prime Minister. Hagrid was totally right in his reasons for why Wizards can't live openly around Muggles. We're just so darn stupid! ETA: Dude, you have no idea how little wizards can sort out. Without magic they'd have all died out from Darwin-awards type accidents.





Exploitation Filmmakers’ Credo
AKA Muggle Prime Ministers' Credo: No, this dummy can't remember what he saw five minutes ago! OMG, MAGIC!!

Idiot World
Does this need further explanation?

Informed Attributes
Watch out for those scheming politicians! They might...um...bluster and bleat at you. Also Voldemort is something to worry about for Muggles. Or anyone.

Misdirected Answering
I, for one, am SO GLAD JKR finally found a place to put this chapter into the books. Since day one I've been wondering if the Minister for Magic communicated with the Prime Minister via owl, firechat, floo powder or talking portrait. Finally I know, and we can move on to the actual story.

The Stealth Monster Rule
I didn't even see the giants sneak into England and stomp all over Swindon! And since they didn't leave any footprints, we can only suspect they were there!

Whooshing Powder
Poof! Chapter's over.

Final score: 6
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anehan: Elizabeth Bennet with the text "sparkling". (Default)

[personal profile] anehan 2008-08-01 05:24 pm (UTC)(link)
I actually like this chapter, because it shows so clearly how little Wizards care about what Muggles think. They're finally showing their true colours! (Though I don't care for the Prime Minister being made to look like an idiot by the author.)

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[personal profile] anehan - 2008-08-03 11:15 (UTC) - Expand

Well said!

[identity profile] mary-j-59.livejournal.com 2008-08-01 05:26 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm going to have to assume that in fact all Muggles in Rowling's universe know about the magical world and are just indulging the childish wizards. In fact they've also developed a cure for Memory Charms long ago. ETA: Hermione's parents will nevertheless pretend to forget her for the rest of their lives.

I would so love it if this were true! The constant insulting of Muggles in these books really irritates me - and it's amazing how many readers (and Rowling herself, I'd guess) don't see the hypocrisy in the WW. It's terrible to be prejudiced against MUGGLEBORNS but perfectly okay to abuse and disrespect MUGGLES? What kind of sense does that make?!

And yes, Severus for PM. Even the wounded soul we meet in DH is a lot more competent than almost anyone else in these books.

sunnyskywalker: Young Beru Lars from Attack of the Clones; text "Sunnyskywalker" (SistineHarry)

Re: Well said!

[personal profile] sunnyskywalker 2008-08-01 05:49 pm (UTC)(link)
He can still semi-protect his charges even when half his employees are evil - I bet he'd do great in a normal office. Probably no fun to work with, but the job would be done right!

[identity profile] aasaylva.livejournal.com 2008-08-01 05:49 pm (UTC)(link)
*If Voldemort can randomly collapse bridges and cause hurricanes, why doesn't he whip it out when he's facing Harry and his friends?
The ease with which Voldemort ravages the countryside here is just like how he took over the ministry in a heartbeat in DH. But he's a fine sportsman - he only shows what he is capable of for two weeks per year to give his old transfig teacher a fair chance. Or maybe he is in league with the author to make it last.

*Of course, if Muggles had regular technology they'd know that the Prime Minister could, you know, set up a camera and RECORD the visits of the various Magic people so it actually wouldn't have to all rest on his word.
In fact, I call this a case of IITS: "He just can't tell anybody because nobody would believe him!"

*So Muggles are all becoming more miserable, the pathetic victims of Dementor flatulence, yet wizards are totally fine and there's no mist there.
No no no. That is the Harry filter, the Dementor flatulence is kept at bay by Ginny's flowery smell!

other little dig at politicians--the P.M. is sitting in his office, gloating, after years of dreaming and scheming.
Again no no no. The P.M. clearly is a Slytherin Muggle; we are told so in order to prevent us from feeling anything but hilarity from the way he is treated and run over in a disrespectful way. I mean, he deserves it for having become P.M. in the first place by anything else than sheer violence!

the Muggle grapevine is slow enough that the Wizards have time to go around modifying memories before the news crews show up.
Of course they are slow - they don't have Patroni! So of course it takes them some time with all the smoke signing!!!

Arthur Weasley, the guy who studies Muggles
You know, I doubt this ever was true. In general, Arthur doesn't come across as mentally retarded, but he certainly is a raging incompetent where Muggles are concerned, so my suspicion is, he invented this hobby of his in order to have an excuse for shutting himself up in his shed full of random Muggle things, far away from Molly's screeching. Someone once came up with the parallel between the Weasleys and Janes Austen's Bennets - and Mr. Bennet always was in that library, doing nothing of importance as well - although I suppose I COULD read...

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[identity profile] violaswamp.livejournal.com 2008-08-03 04:21 am (UTC)(link)
Someone once came up with the parallel between the Weasleys and Janes Austen's Bennets - and Mr. Bennet always was in that library, doing nothing of importance as well - although I suppose I COULD read...

YES YES YES YES.

Actually, it's a fairly stock-type of situation: woman as shrew obsessed with minor details, man as amused and above it all (but never of any actual HELP to the woman, who in spite of all her flaws is actually trying to do something useful, yet the man never gets blamed for this and gets all the sympathy, or at least more sympathy than the woman...)

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[identity profile] mmmarcusz.livejournal.com 2009-01-21 01:39 am (UTC)(link)
Again no no no. The P.M. clearly is a Slytherin Muggle; we are told so in order to prevent us from feeling anything but hilarity from the way he is treated and run over in a disrespectful way. I mean, he deserves it for having become P.M. in the first place by anything else than sheer violence!

Violence AND destiny, dear boy. Was he selected by a prophecy at birth?

[identity profile] beatnikspinster.livejournal.com 2008-08-01 06:51 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! This was WONDERFUL!

Of course, if Muggles had regular technology they'd know that the Prime Minister could, you know, set up a camera and RECORD the visits of the various ... I'm going to have to assume that in fact all Muggles in Rowling's universe know about the magical world and are just indulging the childish wizards.
Haha! Yes! I've always wondered why there was no Ministry project locating apparition points out of view of CCTV, ATMs, and Commercial and Residential security cameras. From Wikipedia: CCTV was first tested outdoors by the UK government in '85, and large-scale implementation began in the early 90s. By HBP, the timing is right for the PM and MI5 to present days worth of video evidence of the Wizarding World. Guess that would complicate things, eh?

It's lucky that the Muggles in HP seem to have no technology beyond broken telephone booths, TVs, underground trains and Playstations so they can't study any of these phenomena.
Oh yes, the "science is stupid" theme. Can't ever hear enough about how abstracting theories from observational data is SO unimaginative. I mean, what so special about science and engineering? It's not like they've walked on the moon or have a space station or anything. It's not like they can communicate with people all over the world without open flame.

Hagrid was totally right in his reasons for why Wizards can't live openly around Muggles. We're just so darn stupid!
Aside from, what do they actually know about Muggles anyway? My primary complaint about the books is framing the ethnic hatred as an internal conflict, when it obviously points elsewhere.

When I started reading, I thought the ultimate goal was reintegrating the WW into the larger world, to some extent. Ending the insular stagnation by connecting to a larger purpose. Stupid, muggle me. Muggle deaths not counting makes the books validate their hatred.

My number one squick in fanfic is repeating it unchallenged. I get that there are many teenagers that read "Muggle" as "competing social clique". But it just isn't.

[identity profile] kaskait.livejournal.com 2008-08-04 01:56 am (UTC)(link)
By HBP, the timing is right for the PM and MI5 to present days worth of video evidence of the Wizarding World. Guess that would complicate things, eh?

Now I'm having visions of floppy hatted wizards being tailed by James Bond types. LOL

[identity profile] tdotm.livejournal.com 2008-08-01 08:07 pm (UTC)(link)
Why not just use invisible Death Eaters casting spells, and causing havoc - far more discreet. Why set the Dementors loose on the Muggles, when they affect wizards as badly? Why have giants etc, when it’s so unfeasible that they could be kept secret?

My real issue with Wizards vs Muggles is that the prejudice isn't acknowledged, making them look like hypocrites. It should have been strongly emphasised early on and more than once that Wizards were once violently persecuted by the much larger muggle community - like Ariana in DH - and that Wizards had been forced to hide away because of it. (Lets be honest, in the real world they eventually would be - like that Planet of the Apes sequel!) And since then, Wizards have had a deep mistrust of muggles, in no small part causing the dislike of muggleborns etc etc.

I'm not saying it'd make their reactions ok, but at least they wouldn't seem so inconsistent.

Also word about Arthur. Small kids love his enthusiasim about muggle things, so I don't blame JKR for including that, but he should have been allowed more knowledge of certain items. I think the Ford Anglia was the only thing in 7 books. He should have been an expert about the sort of objects that would frequently be charmed, but clueless about muggle habits/lifestyles.

I'm fine with him not being used to turnstiles, if they don't have them in the magical world. The rubber duck stuff was ok, but how the HELL could he not even be able to pronounce electricity? Electrical items would surely have been extra vulnerable to Wizardly interference. JKR didn't think it through. (Duh)
sunnyskywalker: Percy Weasley with head in hand, text = *sigh* (PercySigh)

[personal profile] sunnyskywalker 2008-08-01 08:44 pm (UTC)(link)
Invisible (or Disillusioned, or whatever) Death Eaters blowing up streets and such would be a nice low-key, plausible, and still highly creepy thing to show that the war is stepping up while still leaving the bigger things like fake hurricanes for Book 7.

I don't think they set the Dementors loose so much as stopped trying to keep them corralled - I think the Dementors were doing their own thing. It's understandable that they'd avoid wizards, who can fight back... but I still don't see why, if they're suddenly so numerous, we didn't have swarming Dementors being a problem for wizard and Muggle alike in DH. Couldn't Harry have just herded the Dementors toward Voldemort and let them take care of him? If you need to get rid of soul-bits, why not go to the soul-suckers?

I'd also like to know what the wizards did about all those extra Dementors once Voldemort was most sincerely dead. I rather liked jodel's idea of opening the Love Room in the DoM to wipe out the Dementors for good.

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[identity profile] mmmarcusz.livejournal.com 2009-01-21 01:41 am (UTC)(link)
Why have giants etc, when it’s so unfeasible that they could be kept secret?

Because you introduced a pointless subplot in the previous book that had to lead somewhere?

[identity profile] montavilla.livejournal.com 2008-08-01 09:53 pm (UTC)(link)
It's funny to me how hit or miss Voldemort's actions are at affecting me as a reader. The "hurricane" and the bridge? Didn't cause any reaction (despite the fact that the real Hurricane Katrina and Minneapolis Bridge collapse do affect me emotionally). It isn't just that the latter are real and Voldemort's are fictional. It's that the big concepts don't affect you (unless you have a real connection to them), while the hundreds of stories from HK and MBC are terrifying.

Emmeline Vance and Amelia Bones's deaths were very affecting. I think that's because we met them--however briefly--and they seemed to have some promise of further involvement. The people Hermione later reads about in the newspaper? Not so much.

And Ron's stiff-upper lipness of asking, "Anyone we know?" just got annoying to me. And again, this is despite the fact that seeing lists of real names (such as those on the Vietnam Memorial in Washington, D.C.) is very emotional--even if you don't know anyone on that list. Or, remembering back to 9/11, when I was frantic thinking about everyone I knew within a 200 mile radius of Manhattan.

***

About this chapter in general: I think the cuteness would have fit in well with the earlier books. But once we get beyond GoF, it's really jarring.

I spent a ridiculous amount of time wondering if Voldemort was trying to place someone specific in power in the Ministry. I mean, he kills of Amelia Bones, of whom all we really know is that she's competent and fair. In other words, head and shoulders over the competition for Minister of Magic. Then he threatens all sorts of havoc if Fudge doesn't step aside.

So, if Scrimgeour wasn't his stoge, why wasn't he killed a lot earlier? Why did Voldemort eventually put in place Pius Thickness, who had to be imperiused? Why had Voldemort not groomed a Minister of Magic during the first war?

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[identity profile] skull-bearer.livejournal.com 2008-08-01 10:36 pm (UTC)(link)
I remember reading a fanfic where the muggles really did know about wizards all along, and were keeping tabs on them. It was a really creepy one because the muggles seemed on the dges of declaring full-scare genocide on the wizards. After DH, I thought 'you know, fuck this. They deserve it.' It was Dumbledore's allowing Grindelwald (and by extention WW2) to go on because he couldn't bear facing up to his old flame. After that I stopped caring.

[identity profile] black-dog.livejournal.com 2008-08-02 08:21 am (UTC)(link)
Remember when everything in PS, CoS, PoA, GoF, OotP and HBP seemed like it was going to be important? Fandom should remember the time it wasted.

*sigh* I guess it's a good thing to get thoroughly conned once or twice. It wises you up. :)

[identity profile] seductivedark.livejournal.com 2008-08-02 01:15 pm (UTC)(link)
ETA: Sometimes it seems like KS has to be awesome at everything and be MoM for the p.c.-ness.

I thought so too, from the moment Shacklebolt was introduced. It threw me back to all those 1970s movies with the smart, brave, yet destined to die heroically Black supporting characters. Does Rowling know what year it is?

ETA: Dude, you have no idea how little wizards can sort out. Without magic they'd have all died out from Darwin-awards type accidents.

It's arrogance, that's all. Every one of them would act like Lockhart with that bone-healing (bone-destroying) spell in CoS if they had the chance. No wonder their kids bounce - they need to be made of rubber to survive!

[identity profile] cressida0201.livejournal.com 2008-08-02 11:20 pm (UTC)(link)
I meay be in the minority, but I actually thought the "phony war" period of OotP was a brilliant move--a chance to reset the tension meter with a different kind of "wrongness" before shooting the war up to epic scale over the course of the last two books. But not only did she fail to get epic, she actually dissipated the anticipation built up over the entire series in this book. I really, truly wonder what was going through her head when she decided that the main plot of HBP would be hi-skool hijinx.

Remember when everything in PS, CoS, PoA, GoF, OotP and HBP seemed like it was going to be important?

I'd say that's far too generous to HBP! I'm perhaps more anti-HBP than some in this community, because it was HBP that really broke my trust in the series. It was also where I really started to hate most of the characters, though in a few cases it started earlier. With the single exception of Draco Malfoy, I don't think any of them came out of the book better than they went in, and while I was glad Draco got some character development at last, I wasn't interested enough in him for that to save the book for me.

Sometimes it seems like KS has to be awesome at everything and be MoM for the p.c.-ness.

Then again, given JKR's attitude toward the government, is making him MoM really such a compliment, coming from her? I mean, this series is all about how you have to question authority....

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[identity profile] violaswamp.livejournal.com 2008-08-03 04:25 am (UTC)(link)
The whole Muggle thing is, to me, a fascinating example of just how far you can go with reader-identification. Because for the most part, it never occurs to any of us that we're Muggles--we identify with the quirky, amusing and powerful wizards, and blithely ignore the hordes of Obliviated Muggles (until they're used as a demonstration of how bad the DEs are, much like how the villain in a bad movie will kill the cute kid or the puppy). Part of this is the quasi-metaphor of wizards as unconventional people and Muggles as Dursleyish types, but it's still only a quasi-metaphor, so I'm still surprised that we manage to ignore the literal plot of a race of superbeings who have near-absolute power over ordinary human beings.

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