death to capslock

Harry Potter Abridged! Cursed Child Part 2

2016-09-01T20:02:00Z

Posted by: sweettalkeress.livejournal.com

[Somehow, Albus manages to survive his first year at Hogwarts. At the start of second year…]

Harry: Albus, I’m concerned. It doesn’t seem like you have many friends other than that Malfoy boy.

( Read more... )

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Harry Potter Abridged! Cursed Child Part 1

2016-08-24T09:53:00Z

Posted by: sweettalkeress.livejournal.com

I’m baaaaaaaaaaack!

So, in light of the new information about the Cursed Child debacle, I’ve decided to pick up where my abridged series has left off. I’m going to be giving the story of the Cursed Child the same treatment as I gave the books when I was doing Harry Potter Abridged…only instead of waiting until I’ve read the script, I’m going to use only the outline of the plot, and details from other people’s postings about it. So there’s going to be a lot of guess work and improvisation, but hopefully it’ll still be funny. I decided that it would be easier to get it onto paper while it was still fresh in my mind, and I thought adding my own spin on the proceedings might be more fun. Since I don't know the acts, I've broken it up based on whatever stopping points I thought were most convenient. I’ll probably track down a copy of the script at some point, and do something with it; but for now, enjoy!

In practice this has turned out to be less funny than I thought it would be. But hopefully it’s still at least a little funny.

( Read the first part )

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Harry Potter Abridged! DH Epilogue!

2015-09-02T22:00:00Z

Posted by: sweettalkeress.livejournal.com

( Read the epilogue of the LAST BOOK IN THE SERIES!!! )
[THE END]

Much thanks to those who have stuck with this series for all these years (and to everyone else who tuned in as well). It truly has been a pleasure.

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Harry Potter Abridged! DH Chapter 36

2015-08-30T22:23:00Z

Posted by: sweettalkeress.livejournal.com

LAST CHAPTER OF THE BOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

( The end is nigh! )

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Harry Potter Abridged! DH Chapter 35

2015-08-29T22:41:00Z

Posted by: sweettalkeress.livejournal.com

Might as well continue this sequence.

( Read Chapter 35 )

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Harry Potter Abridged! DH Chapter 34

2015-08-29T22:34:00Z

Posted by: sweettalkeress.livejournal.com

Harry: S-so…this is it? I’m j-just supposed to go and die? No…it can’t be true. I must be dreaming. Somebody, please, tell me I’m dreaming!

( Read Chapter 34 )

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Harry Potter Abridged! DH Chapter 33

2015-08-28T00:01:00Z

Posted by: sweettalkeress.livejournal.com

The moment we've all been waiting for--the story of SNAPE!

( Snape, Snape, Severus Snape... )

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Harry Potter Abridged! DH Chapter 32

2015-08-25T10:57:00Z

Posted by: sweettalkeress.livejournal.com

( Snape! *Sob* )

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Harry Potter Abridged! DH Chapter 31

2015-08-23T13:10:00Z

Posted by: sweettalkeress.livejournal.com

[Everyone meets up for a briefing in the Great Hall]

McGonagall: So, anyway, we’re going to help you evacuate this castle so you’re not harmed in the upcoming battle for the fate of the Wizarding World.

( Read Chapter 31 )

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Harry Potter Abridged! DH Chapter 30

2015-08-22T20:03:00Z

Posted by: sweettalkeress.livejournal.com

Snape: Good day, ladies and gentlemen! I know, I know—it’s been a long book without my awesomeness gracing the pages, but rest assured—from now on things will be better! This chapter will be from my perspective! Ahaha--! [Pause] What’s that? You said…I’m only in one scene of this entire chapter?! [Pause] And it’s really stupid?! [Pause] But my name’s in the chapter title! [Pause] Oh, that is not fair! [Cries] What’d I ever do to you?*

( Read Chapter 30 )

*A/N: In all seriousness, it is good to have Snape back.

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Harry Potter Abridged! DH Chapter 29

2015-08-21T17:25:00Z

Posted by: sweettalkeress.livejournal.com

Harry: Navel! It’s you! It’s really you!

Neville: FOR THE LAST TIME MY NAME IS NOT NAVEL! Seriously! Everyone at Hogwarts calls me by my proper name now!

( Read Chapter 29 )

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Harry Potter Abridged! DH Chapter 28

2015-08-20T10:51:00Z

Posted by: sweettalkeress.livejournal.com

Since Chapter 27 is so short, I decided to also post Chapter 28.

( Time for Dumbledore's backstory! Bum bum buuuuuuum! )

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Harry Potter Abridged! DH Chapter 27

2015-08-20T10:45:00Z

Posted by: sweettalkeress.livejournal.com

[The dragon flies high in the sky and far away]

( Read Chapter 27 )

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Harry Potter Abridged! DH Chapter 26

2015-08-16T10:46:00Z

Posted by: sweettalkeress.livejournal.com

[For the attempted break-in of Gringotts, they decide Hermione will be Polyjuiced to look like Bellatrix]

Hermione: I really hate that I have to go as the woman who tortured me.

Harry: Well, look on the bright side—it’s only for one chapter.

Hermione: I can already tell it’s going to be a long chapter.

( Read Chapter 26 )

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Harry Potter Abridged! DH Chapter 25

2015-08-15T20:06:00Z

Posted by: sweettalkeress.livejournal.com

[Harry and co. spend the next few days at Shell Cottage with Bill and Fleur]

( Read Chapter 25 )

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Harry Potter Abridged! DH Chapter 24

2015-08-04T12:34:00Z

Posted by: sweettalkeress.livejournal.com

Hey, it's my birthday! Have another one of these!

( Read Chapter 24 )

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Harry Potter Abridged! DH Chapter 23

2015-08-02T16:09:00Z

Posted by: sweettalkeress.livejournal.com

Hermione: Alright, we’ll be fine, just do exactly as I say.

( Read Chapter 23 )

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Harry Potter Abridged! DH Chapter 22

2015-08-01T18:20:00Z

Posted by: sweettalkeress.livejournal.com

[They crash-land in a field somewhere]

Ron: I can’t believe that man! To sell Harry to the Death Eaters! Disgusting coward! I can’t believe someone as noble as Luna is related to him!

( Read Chapter 22 )

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Harry Potter Abridged! DH Chapter 21

2015-07-30T22:02:00Z

Posted by: sweettalkeress.livejournal.com

Lovegood: So, as I was saying, before I was so rudely interrupted, the Deathly Hallows are an old legend that not everyone believes is true—but I’m one of those people who does believe it.

( Read Chapter 21 )

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Harry Potter Abridged! DH Chapter 20

2015-07-29T14:36:00Z

Posted by: sweettalkeress.livejournal.com

( Read Chapter 20 )

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Harry Potter Abridged! DH Chapter 19

2015-07-26T22:15:00Z

Posted by: sweettalkeress.livejournal.com

[That night, Harry has a very strange dream]

Harry: Oooh, yes, Nagini—let me stroke your mighty head! Aaaaaaaaaah….

( Read Chapter 19 )

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Harry Potter Abridged! DH Chapter 18

2015-07-17T17:26:00Z

Posted by: sweettalkeress.livejournal.com

[Harry is still bent out of shape about his broken wand the next morning]

( Read Chapter 18 )

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Harry Potter Abridged! DH Chapter 17

2015-07-14T23:58:00Z

Posted by: sweettalkeress.livejournal.com

[As Harry and Hermione turn to exit the graveyard, they spy an unknown figure in the distance]

( Read Chapter 17 )

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Harry Potter Abridged! DH Chapter 16

2015-07-13T23:00:00Z

Posted by: sweettalkeress.livejournal.com

Harry: Oh, woe is me! Ron has disappeared and abandoned me! Me! The Chosen One!

Hermione: I’m ignoring you.

( Read Chapter 16 )

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Harry Potter Abridged! DH Chapter 15

2015-07-12T18:35:00Z

Posted by: sweettalkeress.livejournal.com

[The next morning, Harry buries Mad-Eye Moody’s magical eye]

Harry: Better there than in the clutches of that evil Umbridge, after all.

( Read Chapter 15 )

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