death to capslock

I’m baaaaaaaaaaack!

So, in light of the new information about the Cursed Child debacle, I’ve decided to pick up where my abridged series has left off. I’m going to be giving the story of the Cursed Child the same treatment as I gave the books when I was doing Harry Potter Abridged…only instead of waiting until I’ve read the script, I’m going to use only the outline of the plot, and details from other people’s postings about it. So there’s going to be a lot of guess work and improvisation, but hopefully it’ll still be funny. I decided that it would be easier to get it onto paper while it was still fresh in my mind, and I thought adding my own spin on the proceedings might be more fun. Since I don't know the acts, I've broken it up based on whatever stopping points I thought were most convenient. I’ll probably track down a copy of the script at some point, and do something with it; but for now, enjoy!

In practice this has turned out to be less funny than I thought it would be. But hopefully it’s still at least a little funny.

( Read the first part )

LAST CHAPTER OF THE BOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

( The end is nigh! )

[Everyone meets up for a briefing in the Great Hall]

McGonagall: So, anyway, we’re going to help you evacuate this castle so you’re not harmed in the upcoming battle for the fate of the Wizarding World.

( Read Chapter 31 )

Snape: Good day, ladies and gentlemen! I know, I know—it’s been a long book without my awesomeness gracing the pages, but rest assured—from now on things will be better! This chapter will be from my perspective! Ahaha--! [Pause] What’s that? You said…I’m only in one scene of this entire chapter?! [Pause] And it’s really stupid?! [Pause] But my name’s in the chapter title! [Pause] Oh, that is not fair! [Cries] What’d I ever do to you?*

( Read Chapter 30 )

*A/N: In all seriousness, it is good to have Snape back.

Hermione: Alright, we’ll be fine, just do exactly as I say.

( Read Chapter 23 )

[Upon hearing the news of the Ministry’s defeat, Harry, Ron, and Hermione scramble to find each other, and then Hermione takes them both away, to Tottenham Court Road]

( Read Chapter 9 )

( See the main cast be rude about French people )
A/N: Okay, is it me or is this chapter rather pointless. Seriously, all that happens in it is, Harry reunites with his friends (and Fleur), and then they're all rude about Fleur for no good reason.