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deathtocapslock2006-10-20 03:55 pm
sistermagpie.livejournal.com) wrote in deathtocapslock2006-10-20 03:55 pm
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PS Chapter Two
*Nearly ten years have passed since Harry was discovered on the doorstep (several hours after the kid was actually left there). In all that time you’ve all probably forgotten that you already know the kid’s secret so let’s start the book again. Who is this young boy living in a cupboard? Why do strange things happen around him? What is his secret?
*The Dursleys fill the house with signs that they love their ugly child. It’s embarrassing to watch them try to overcompensate for not being able to love the way Lily could.
*Harry immediately begins displaying his super powers by accurately remembering riding on a flying motorbike before he would have been old enough to name and understand the concept of motorbike. If pressed he could probably tells us the make and model.
*Aww, right here on page two. The first time Harry wakes up and pulls on used socks.
*Harry can’t imagine why Dudley wants a racing bike. Fat kids riding bicycles? Fat kids spend all their time eating chips and watching telly—everyone knows that. It’s so absurd—Dudley must be a Wizard!
*Dudley rarely catches Harry because although he doesn’t look it, Harry’s very fast. In case you were thinking that his wearing glasses suggested he might be ::shudder:: unathletic.
*Harry has a thin face and is very skinny with knobbly knees. Just like many supermodels at that age.
*His glasses have Sellotape on them from all the times Dudley has punched him in the nose. Wait, I though Dudley was too fat and Harry too much like greased lightning to be caught and punched?
*It’s the Law of Bullies in the Potterverse. When they’re ineffective they create victims. When they’re effective they’re not bullies.
*The only thing Harry likes about his appearance is his scar. But don’t worry, everyone else likes everything about his appearance. Dishiest boy in school, girls!
*Petunia tells Harry the scar came from a car accident. I would have told him the scar came from when some old guy left him lying outside on the ground in the middle of the night for hours and he got molested by a raccoon.
*Vernon proves himself a jerk by yelling at Harry to comb his hair, which just grows all over the place whether it’s cut or not. So the fact that Harry actually didn’t comb his hair is irrelevant. Stop yelling at the ten-year-old boy to comb his hair!
*Dudley’s blond hair lays flat on his fat head. Blond hair is evil that way.
*But is it impossibly sleek blond hair that shines in the sun during Quidditch matches? I think not! H/D draws first blood!
*Harry often said Dudley looked like a pig in a wig, by which he meant that Dudley’s moral character was quite flawed.
*Harry begins wolfing down his bacon—which he can do, being so skinny and all. All the fat from the bacon goes straight to Dudley’s thighs.
*Petunia quickly and nervously acts to head off one of Dudley’s tantrums by offering him more presents. I am strangely reminded of Hermione trying to deal with Harry in OotP.
*Mrs Figg’s broken her leg so can’t take Harry. Does Wizard medicine not work on Squibs so they can’t fix it for her? Or are there just no Wizard doctors who will treat Squibs?
*Harry hates going to Mrs Figg’s house. Understandably. He’s got no friends and she’s the only person who seems to try to be friendly to him, but dude, she’s a loser!
*Does the house smell like cabbage for some magical reason? Doesn’t the Weasleys’ QWC tent smell a bit cabbagy?
*Harry knows he should feel sorry that the poor lady up the street who’s nice but boring broke her leg, but it’s really hard. This is why Harry’s the Chosen One. People like Draco Malfoy might have to resort to Occlumency to repress compassion, but Harry’s so full of love he doesn’t have any to suppress.
*The Dursleys often talk about Harry like he isn’t there. Actually, that’s pretty standard for most children, I’d think.
*A real family who hated Harry really would leave him alone for hours at a time. The Dursleys are more like a parody of all the things you hate about your parents—they make him have a babysitter just so he can’t watch TV and not because they’re responsible.
*Dudley’s friend Piers Polkiss arrives, looking like a rat. Well, we know which house these two would be Sorted, don’t we?
*The Dursleys couldn’t think of anything else to do for Harry but bring him. No teenaged girls in the neighborhood who want to make a few quid? Oh, I guess they’re not allowed in the house either. Don’t want them having sex on the plastic coated couches etc.
*Uncle Vernon doesn’t believe Harry. No one ever does! Get used to that theme.
*Funny that Petunia only shaved Harry’s head that one time. You’d think he’d have grown up with crew cuts. Except she apparently doesn’t like to look at the scar that reminds her of the night her sister was killed and she got roped into service for the WW. Thanks, Dumbledore!
*Dudley is not only fat but has bad taste in clothes. Harry’s own bad clothes are forced upon him. Petunia interestingly did *not* punish Harry for shrinking Dudley’s sweater, even though she must have known he did it by magic. (And somehow while completely ignoring Harry, Petunia helps him to dress…)
*I love the way Harry’s home is so dreadful and yet everything else is dreadful too. Like, it’s not like he’s found something to like in school or developed a nice relationship with Mrs Figg. The Muggle world just sucks and nothing less than a four poster velvet curtained bed in a castle will do!
*Uncle Vernon complains as he drives. He likes to complain about things. Gee, having a hard life. Wonder what that’s like.
*Oh wow. Harry’s first trip to the zoo. So many animals to look like the people he hates!
*Dudley and Piers like snakes—not a good sign. Of course, good snakes like Harry.
*The snake raises its head and winks at Harry. Harry is shocked. Not because the snake seemed to communicate with him, but at the fact that the snake has eyelids.
*It’s very cool that Harry’s actually showing his special Parseltongue power and we don’t know it. You never forget your first extra special power that makes you even more special than you previously thought.
*Harry seems to first understand what the snake is saying just from a look, not hissing. It’s not actually speaking to him in snake.
*I hope everyone realizes that far more exciting than a boy speaking snake, this snake can apparently speak and read English. It understands that it comes from Brazil because it says so on its sign, but that the sign also indicates it was bred in the zoo.
*Like Harry, the snake knows it belongs somewhere else but was bred in a cage. Get it? Get it? You sure? Okay, going on.
*Harry was sure the snake just snapped playfully at the boy’s ankles as it passed. No doubt snapping with its boa constrictor fangs that could slash them until they bled rivers of blood.
*The snake slithers outside, free, and is promptly run over by a car. RIP Brazilian snake.
*Harry sits in the cupboard later wishing he had a watch. The watch-envy is strong in this one. Dudley’s got a gold one, Ron gets one later, Harry wears a broken one at one point.
*Meanwhile, random wizards have actually been coming up to Harry on the street for years. Great plan, Dumbledore. Kid’s as protected as a supermarket pennysaver.
*This would be a good time to go out and make myself a pop tart. I’ll come back when the hero has been caught up on plot stuff the audience has already been told…
*At school, Harry has no one. But just because everyone’s afraid of the fat kid and his friends. Harry’s unnaturally unpopular. Sort of like those poor girls who get called fat when they’re healthy looking.
Idiot Picture
So have all these wizards just decided not to speak to Harry even though they know who and where he is? Do the Death Eaters all just assume some other Death Eater is taking care of him?
Designated Hero
Vernon is the one who likes to complain and takes out his anger on other people, and this is how we know he’s the bad guy. CAPSLOCK!Harry just has a lot to be upset about.
Ken and Andrew’s Rule of Plot Holes
No, really, how is Harry so protected here? Couldn’t any one of these Wizards have stabbed him in the supermarket and then Disapparated?
Final score: 3
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Best Spork Ever! Yes! I would have added that in addition to the raccoons, I had to fight off very large sewer Rats that were attacking him as well. What did "Princess Bride" call them? R.O.U.S, right?
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*Harry can’t imagine why Dudley wants a racing bike. Fat kids riding bicycles? Fat kids spend all their time eating chips and watching telly—everyone knows that.
Having been a fat kid, I can state with the outmost authority that they can easily see the appeal of a device which lets you move faster with less effort than if you were just walking. I liked my bike well enough. Mind you, I would have prefered a moped, which would have been even faster with even less effort, but the powers that be don't let kids ride those. =]
*Dudley rarely catches Harry because although he doesn’t look it, Harry’s very fast. In case you were thinking that his wearing glasses suggested he might be ::shudder:: unathletic.
And this here may just be the reason why Harry creeps me out. He looks like the kind of kid more athletic kids pick on, when in fact he's one of those darn athletic kids! He's a jock in nerd's clothing! Blasphemy! ^_^;;
*Harry hates going to Mrs Figg’s house. Understandably. He’s got no friends and she’s the only person who seems to try to be friendly to him, but dude, she’s a loser!
You'd think he'd appreciate the brief moments of time when no one is yelling at him or punching him. What with all the excitement he gets at home, a touch of boredom really shouldn't be all that bad.
Kind of makes you wonder what Harry does like at this point. There must be something, surely, or at least something he prefers to other things. He can't hate everything the most, can he?
...
Actually, this is Harry. One probably shouldn't underestimate his mad hatin' skillz...
Sort of like those poor girls who get called fat when they’re healthy looking.
Any chance I could get a link to whatever interview she said that in? It's just such a surreal thing for her to say. I'd like a chance to revel properly in the irony. =]
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You'd think he'd appreciate the brief moments of time when no one is yelling at him or punching him. What with all the excitement he gets at home, a touch of boredom really shouldn't be all that bad.
Well, later he even complains when she gives him some chocolate cake because it's not up to his standards.
Any chance I could get a link to whatever interview she said that in? It's just such a surreal thing for her to say. I'd like a chance to revel properly in the irony. =]
It's from JKR's homepage:
JKR on fat and thin girls (http://www.jkrowling.com/textonly/en/extrastuff_view.cfm?id=22)
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(Anonymous) 2006-10-20 09:01 pm (UTC)(link)LOL, he probably remembers having Lily's homemade chocolate cake as a baby. Five table spoons of Gryffindor Love to make it just that bit sickly.
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(*reads page*) Yeeeeep. That's Rowling. Arrogant, bitchy, convinced that she knows exactly what's good and right and important, and with just a hint of contempt for the female gender. The things girls do are incomprehensible for "well-adjusted males," huh?
Funny thing is, I tend to picture Pansy Parkinson as being a bit on the plump side (though that might be because that's how Maya describes her, and the books never bother to settle the issue) and Hermione as being rake thin.
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(*tries to remember where he got that idea*)
You know, all I can actually think of is that Ron teased her about her weight in Flame and Shadow (and didn't Draco do the same at some point? Eh, can't remember ^_^;; ). Other than that, I guess it felt... implied... uhm.
I guess I just got the impression that Pansy was kind of full-bodied. Sorry. ^_^;;
Mind you, since that's the body type I prefer, it made my mental images of that story all the nicer, so I'm not that rependent for misunderstanding your work, I confess... (*beams innocently*) =]
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I can't currently find my copy of PS, but when McTabby started doing summary executions, I checked the back of the book. Summary according to the first book? Two sentences that go something like: "Harry Potter isn't like the other children at all... because Harry Potter is a wizard!"
...
I have *no idea* how this book did well on that jacket copy. *grin*
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Well, probably everything sounds really dumb if you talk about it sarcastically. The fact that it's only years later we're worried about the raccoons means it worked in my book!
And this here may just be the reason why Harry creeps me out. He looks like the kind of kid more athletic kids pick on, when in fact he's one of those darn athletic kids! He's a jock in nerd's clothing! Blasphemy! ^_^;;
He's definitely never anything but cool in that standard every-boy way. I love that he's even got an innately good fashion sense.
You'd think he'd appreciate the brief moments of time when no one is yelling at him or punching him. What with all the excitement he gets at home, a touch of boredom really shouldn't be all that bad.
Yup--again, everyboy. Not so much one who was abused. A regular boy *would* hate being at Mrs Figg's house because he'd rather be home playing video games.
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On the other hand, if I go by that philosophy, I won't be able to say much from now on. I must admit that I liked HP very well up until book four. ^_^;;
Re: the beginning chapters & Peter/Piers comparison
It is JKR's first published book & she has re-written the first chapter numerous times, unsure how much to reveal. She seems to have had problems with the beginning chapters of this book, imo. Well, she isn't really an experienced author yet (certainly hasn't been so while writing the PS) & setting the beginning of the 7 books' set is hard.
*The Dursleys often talk about Harry like he isn’t there. Actually, that’s pretty standard for most children, I’d think.
I don't think it was so in my family.
*Dudley’s friend Piers Polkiss arrives, looking like a rat. Well, we know which house these two would be Sorted, don’t we?
I am not sure, after all Peter is as rat-like as one can get & he was sorted into Gryffindor & even became James' "friend" and the professional admirer. Piers immediately reminded me of Peter. Peter and Piers even sound similar. Piers usually is the one to hold people's arms behind their backs while Dudley hits them similar to Peter, who is described as "watching hungrily, edging around Lupin to get a clearer view" at Snape being bullied. Both are afraid to start bullying somebody themselves due to cowardice, but are extremely happy to watch their powerful friends doing this job. Piers here seems even a bit braver than Peter, who was afraid to approach hopelessly outnumbered Snape, let alone try to touch him even,if the touch would be holding his arms behind his back. In the memory Snape is outnumbered, defeated in front of a hostile to him crowd, yet Peter seems to prefer to watch this from afar "edging around Lupin to get a clearer view", but afraid to come closer. So, judging on this Piers would be more likely be a Gryffindor than Peter.
Btw, notice the way Pier is described: "a scrawny boy with a face like a rat". Since being scrawny is sort of a positive sign in this universe (Harry is repeatedly described this way), we are warned about his low nature by his rat-like appearance. One day somebody should write an editorial about the connection between looks & character in JKR's books, not only the fat/thin aspect, but about the whole topic in general. Interesting whether Rowling would be as infuriated by such essay as she was by that 'fat' discussion. Somehow I don't think so.
Re: the beginning chapters & Peter/Piers comparison
I am not sure, after all Peter is as rat-like as one can get & he was sorted into Gryffindor & even became James' "friend" and the professional admirer. Piers immediately reminded me of Peter. Peter and Piers even sound similar. Piers usually is the one to hold people's arms behind their backs while Dudley hits them similar to Peter, who is described as "watching hungrily, edging around Lupin to get a clearer view" at Snape being bullied. Both are afraid to start bullying somebody themselves due to cowardice, but are extremely happy to watch their powerful friends doing this job. Piers here seems even a bit braver than Peter, who was afraid to approach hopelessly outnumbered Snape, let alone try to touch him even,if the touch would be holding his arms behind his back. In the memory Snape is outnumbered, defeated in front of a hostile to him crowd, yet Peter seems to prefer to watch this from afar "edging around Lupin to get a clearer view", but afraid to come closer. So, judging on this Piers would be more likely be a Gryffindor than Peter.
Actually, in an AU in which Dudley had enough magic to get a letter and go to Hogwarts, I could see him being Sorted into Gryffindor:
1) He wouldn't have the bloodlines or right type of ambition for Slytherin.
2) He wouldn't have the Ravenclaw love of learning.
3) He wouldn't have the Hufflepuff tendency to put the larger group's interests ahead of his own.
Therefore by default...Gryffindor!
As for Piers, that name is a form of Peter. Between that and the description of him as rat-like, one wonders who his *real* father is. (Although if Peter fathered any bastard children in this story, Dudley strikes me as the likelier candidate. Perhaps this is what Dumbledore is holding over Petunia to make her take in Harry.)
One day somebody should write an editorial about the connection between looks & character in JKR's books, not only the fat/thin aspect, but about the whole topic in general. Interesting whether Rowling would be as infuriated by such essay as she was by that 'fat' discussion. Somehow I don't think so.
Given the size of this fandom, someone probably has written this already. Although I would like to know how they handle young Tom Riddle's good looks (canon, as witnessed by Harry Potter himself).
Re: j_lunatic
Easily. 3 reasons:
1)He was born resembling his abused by Merope muggle father & his mother wasn't so bad either, imo.
2)His looks were Merope's last wish before dying (she said: "I hope he looks like his father"), so he got them.
3)Tom's evil nature showed itself since childhood, shining through his looks, like when D told him he was a wizard the happiness didn't enhance his handsome features, but made him look bestial.
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Maybe wizards couldn't heal Mrs. Figg's leg because everyone already knew she broke it and they'd get suspicious if it suddenly wasn't? Obliviating the whole street would be such a hassle, you know. Or maybe they did heal it and she's just pretending. What I don't understand is why having a broken leg makes her incapable of sitting on the couch with Harry looking at a photo album.
Wouldn't it have been interesting if the wizards had tried to talk to Harry? "Hello, O Great Hero! Are you getting excited about Hogwarts? Do the Muggles let you practice Quidditch? What insanely dark spell did you use on You-Know-Who? Have you killed any Muggles?" "Er... say what?"
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Wouldn't it have been interesting if the wizards had tried to talk to Harry? "Hello, O Great Hero! Are you getting excited about Hogwarts? Do the Muggles let you practice Quidditch? What insanely dark spell did you use on You-Know-Who? Have you killed any Muggles?" "Er... say what?"
Yes, usually when people come up to a celebrity they do more than just wave. Harry would have heard his story a lot by now, I'd think!
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Seeing shades of Neville here.
*It’s the Law of Bullies in the Potterverse. When they’re ineffective they create victims. When they’re effective they’re not bullies.
Sort of the Law of Would-Be Killers, too, if you compare fandom's reaction to book 5 Hermione to its reaction to book 6 Draco. :P
*Harry often said Dudley looked like a pig in a wig, by which he meant that Dudley’s moral character was quite flawed.
Snap. Good one. XD You know, maybe it would help if JKR described how repulsive a person was before she described how fat he/she is. I sort of vaguely wonder whether she'll start describe Draco in fanonesque terms if he switches sides in book 7 rather than calling him a ferret. It's like, if you're a bad guy, you can only be pretty when you're doing something 'good', like Narcissa in HPB, but if you're on Team Harry, you're at least normal-looking whether you're acting kindly or like a complete pig.
*Petunia tells Harry the scar came from a car accident. I would have told him the scar came from when some old guy left him lying outside on the ground in the middle of the night for hours and he got molested by a raccoon.
HAHA!
*I love the way Harry’s home is so dreadful and yet everything else is dreadful too. Like, it’s not like he’s found something to like in school or developed a nice relationship with Mrs Figg. The Muggle world just sucks and nothing less than a four poster velvet curtained bed in a castle will do!
Well, of course,he's the WW's Chosen One, don't you know?
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He got tall and wore 'handsome' clothes in HBP. (And lost weight, which is always a plus, even if he wasn't fat before.)
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*grumble*
I just worry that Snape might get that treatment!
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Surely she knows how attractive all that Victorian Consumptive suffering look in HBP was!
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I remember somebody commenting that Harry's negative descriptions of Draco really dip in HBP and they're so right: It seems to become more a matter of curiosity, giving away to a detatched...concern? So I would fully expect ambiguous, wildcard Draco to get a more positive description when he and Harry meet up in book 7. But, I appear to have got off track...
Re: snakes in HP books
In JKR's eyes Dudley's comparison with a gorilla is an insult to this highly intelligent, relatively peaceful animal, I am sure.
Btw, snakes' association with DA & bad reputation are unfair, imo. This boa constrictor seems like a peaceful, intelligent, good-natured creature here, which is misunderstood & unjustly accused by ignorantly stupid people of thousand unimaginable crimes. It is even compared to Harry at some point & certainly understands English. Isn't it interesting that the first accountant with a snake is so positive & sympathetic, when afterwards we will get the basilisk, Nagini's Horcrux & Voldemort's snake-like appearance?
Fun fact 1: Boas are kept as house-snakes in parts of South America, where the boas help by catching and suffocating rats. The Boa Constrictor is related to the larger Anaconda.
So they are relatively peaceful, if people aren't afraid to keep one in their house.
* Harry is shocked… at the fact that the snake has eyelids.
It probably is a magical snake. Better not to delve too deep into this…
*Harry was sure the snake just snapped playfully at the boy’s ankles as it passed. No doubt snapping with its boa constrictor fangs that could slash them until they bled rivers of blood.
Fun fact 2: The boa constrictor eats a wide variety of food. Young snakes eat mice, small birds, lizards, and frogs. As the snake grows, the size of its prey increases. Adults will eat monkeys, capybaras, agoutis, caimans, and wild pigs.
Don't think Dudley has outgrown a caiman or a wild pig yet.
*The snake slithers outside, free, and is promptly run over by a car. RIP Brazilian snake.
I too wondered which cruel fate awaited the poor, innocently ignorant of the city's dangers snake, which naively hoped to reach Brazil & get away from those horrible, stupid people. I really pity it here.
After this chapter I got the attraction of having a snake as a pet. After all, Harry & Hedwig can't have real conversations about the news, future plans, etc. unlike V & Nagini. Having a snake as a pet in itself really shouldn't characterize V as a villain in comparison with D's Phakes (ironically a symbol of immortality, which V desperately craves) or Harry's pure-white Hedwig (a name of a saint). I don't think even D could converse that well with his chosen pet.
Is Nagini the evil snake, while the boa is a good one here? How did V get acquainted with it & persuaded it to live with him? Did he force it to do it? May be Nagini as a snake couldn't care less about people in general & agreed to accompany V before being turned into a Horcrux due to genuine attraction similar to Hedwig liking Harry? I would like to ask JKR those questions. And here I ended whitewashing V's Horcrux .
Re: snakes in HP books
There was good reason for this. BabyMort was being kept alive by a "formula" of which one of the main components was her venon, and a larger snake would produce more of the necessary venom.
As to how she was persuaded to acompany them to England. They would not have taken the time to persuade. I suspect the poor beast is under a form of Imperius. And now that Tom no longer needs her venom to keep himself alive, he amuses himself by making her behave like a pet dog.
Given the way his uncle would torture the snakes that he lured close enough to get a hold of, this is at least a sort of improvement.
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You know, that would explain a few things, actually. About Harry's personality, I mean. I think it's merely a case of trying to overcome that helplessness and unimportance he felt in the paws of Bandit the Raccoon. It all connects, I'm sure of it. That's why when he took FF he was led not to get drunk at Hagrid's hut because boy pimpin Slughorn was there.
So have all these wizards just decided not to speak to Harry even though they know who and where he is? Do the Death Eaters all just assume some other Death Eater is taking care of him?
I'd like to say that it's because no one cares now that Voldie is gone or it's because Dumbledore asked them not to, but that is enough fan wanking to blind someone. For the love of God, I could kill someone with a well-aimed toothpick if I wanted to.
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Sometimes it's better to just not think about it...
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(Anonymous) 2006-10-20 11:08 pm (UTC)(link)LOL. Luckily Harry's still thin, so we know it's physically impossible for him to be a self-centered brat.
At school, Harry has no one. But just because everyone’s afraid of the fat kid and his friends. Harry’s unnaturally unpopular.
The fact that Harry has attended school for six years without making a single friend, and will spend six years at another school while making only two friends, in no way implies that his upbringing has left him with poor social skills. Only losers are damaged by abusive parenting. No, Harry's already subconsciously aware that he's better than the mundanes and keeps his interaction with them to a minimum. Also Lily's protective magic doubles as a Muggle-repellant.
-L
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He should bottle this and sell it to the Muggleborns still bothered by friends and family who expect to remain friends and family.
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Amen, amen, I say unto you! This *really* bothers me about the series at this point; racism is so horrible, and yet every wizard we have met has been racist as a matter of course, and muggles *really are* inferior to wizards in every way - witness the way we never, ever see anything of Hermione's parents, who are presumably normal, intelligent 'muggles'. And what is with this term 'muggle', anyway? We normal, mundane human beings certainly don't call ourselves that!
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I’m so very glad that JKR pointed this out to us. It just wouldn’t do to have a hero who is unathletic, for goodness’ sake! If he were unathletic he wouldn’t have made it to the Quidditch team, and that might have meant we wouldn’t have got all those wonderfully long descriptions of thrilling Quidditch matches! Whatever would we have done without Quidditch??
*Harry hates going to Mrs Figg’s house. Understandably. He’s got no friends and she’s the only person who seems to try to be friendly to him, but dude, she’s a loser!
And she hasn’t even risked her life for Harry, so is it really a wonder Harry doesn’t like her? Maybe if she had Harry might have tolerated her in a patronising way, which really is the best thing weirdo losers like her, Luna and Neville can expect from a cool kid like him.
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You can't blame him. She's been living down the street from him his whole life and *still* hasn't risked her life? What's she waiting for?
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Dear JKR - please to go to edit and find on your manuscripts so you can count up how many fat jokes you make. Then decide not to make any public statements on body issues. You don't look silly, we don't have migraines. Everybody wins!
I fear I am lacking in snark in these early issues, since well, I do have an appreciation for the Dursleys but I also have a soft squishy heart that is sorry for Harry because, you know, this is a bad situation. He sleeps in a cupboard and is malnourished and this gang of kids beat him up whenever they can catch him! I mean, I'm fairly easy: little kid, gang that beat him up, you have me there. It's not until Harry arrives in magical land and everything always comes up trumps for him that I can be properly snarky. (There can only be so much dating the head cheerleader and being worshipped by half the school before I start feeling less with the sympathy, here.)
For instance, you know, if Harry had ever had to run from Draco and his entourage at the speed of light, I could drum up some 'yeah, I see why this is nearly as bad as the Dudley situation.' But how absurd! It is Draco who would be running! And he would trip up and people would see his undergarments!
Still, this chapter kind of make me proud of my baby. Man, if this thickset dude punched me in the face all the time and suddenly I was transported to a magic land where my schoolyard nemesis was kind of puny and liked to pull my pigtails, I would be overjoyed. But no, somehow Draco trumps Dudley! Draco FTW!
I guess either the protected in the Dursleys' home thing will be important in book 7, or Dumbledore used it as a pretext to put the child somewhere he would be abused and therefore malleable! Oh, that Dumbledore. Thinks of everything except raccoons. Wait, we don't have raccoons in England. Thinks of everything!
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That's what I love most about OotP!Harry, where there's some reference to how unfair it is that the people in the neighborhood are suspicious of him only because the Dursleys tell lies about him, yet by his description he sounds like the kid that's probably making bombs in the garage.
For instance, you know, if Harry had ever had to run from Draco and his entourage at the speed of light, I could drum up some 'yeah, I see why this is nearly as bad as the Dudley situation.' But how absurd! It is Draco who would be running! And he would trip up and people would see his undergarments!
It is kind of fascinating that Harry doesn't seem to have realized this. There's *something* about Malfoy that gets to him. So much so that Harry doesn't seem to often see him very clearly. Maybe it really is just the hair that triggers all this for him?
I guess either the protected in the Dursleys' home thing will be important in book 7, or Dumbledore used it as a pretext to put the child somewhere he would be abused and therefore malleable! Oh, that Dumbledore. Thinks of everything except raccoons. Wait, we don't have raccoons in England. Thinks of everything!
You may think I did not think through the raccoon issue. If the snake can have eyelids, there can be raccoons in Surrey.
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Yeah, in OotP Privet Drive parents are saying earnestly 'don't make eye contact with Harry Potter, OK, Maud? Cos he might cut you.' And Maud, well, maybe she thinks he's a little bit of a wild child and cool, but then one day she gets near him and he's sort of whiffy, so she gives it up and starts going out with Tim Davies. Huh. Muggles. Shallow hors.
The hair is so bright and shiny that it dazzles Harry and obscures his vision. It's not his fault. It's that damn Malfoy!
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*Petunia tells Harry the scar came from a car accident. I would have told him the scar came from when some old guy left him lying outside on the ground in the middle of the night for hours and he got molested by a raccoon.
Still, could have been worse, he could have been eaten by the 'Surrey puma'.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/northamptonshire/content/image_galleries/big_cats_gallery.shtml?3
That would have been exceedingly embarassing for good old Dumbles...
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*Eyes the local woods suspiciously*
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Foreshadowing of Harry with Neville and Luna on the train! "You guy suck so bad, being alone is cooler than being with you. You have to earn My respect by risking your life in My service."
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