deathtocapslock | (no subject)

*Ron and the Twins come to Harry's rescue in the turquoise car. Seeing as how easy it is to spring him from the Dursleys, I can't believe Harry swallowed that rubbish about blood magic keeping him safe.

*Arthur knows about the official warning Harry received although he's in a completely different department. Good to know the Ministry is so loose with information: that'll inspire confidence in them.

*You think the Dursleys would have noticed the sound of a car revving up in mid air outside their window, but they're all asleep. They must have some of those magic earmuffs Dumbledore mentioned in the first chapter of PS.

*Oh, wow. Fred and George apparently know how to pick locks with a hairpin. And this is clearly not their first time. It is a sign of their Uber-Coolness btw, and not dubious at all.

*Yep, you had to hand it to them, Harry thinks. Third Year Theives. Maybe they'll rob Gringotts with the smoothness of Ocean's Eleven next.

*And it's the screech of the forgotten owl that wakes Vernon. It's time for him to give his Those Pesky Kids dialogue!

*Wait a minute, Ron picks the lock on Hedwig's cage? Those twins are such a good influence on him.

*And Draco is immediately identified as Lucius Malfoy's son. Remember it's only the bad guys who judge people based on their family.

*Hmm, so when the twins present their Dad's opinions on Lucius Malfoy's guilt as fact, they're on the side of Right. However anytime Draco Malfoy repeats his father's opinions, he's bigoted and cannot think for himself.

*Rumours about Lucius Malfoy's guilt didn't surprise Harry at all. Because he knew the eleven year old kid he disliked at first sight must be aligned with the powers of evil.

*Harry imagines little Malfoy strutting around the Manor and plotting schemes to stop Harry coming to school. Since Harry is the centre of the universe, Malfoy couldn't possibly be doing anything else during the holidays.

*Not the first time Errol's collapsed on delivery. Still instead of relieving him to get a new family owl, they buy one for Percy.

*Percy's been sending a lot of letters and staying shut up in his room. Yeah, walking out on his family in OOtP was such a surprise!

*"Touchdown"? Where did Fred pick up a dirty Muggle phrase like that?

*And the narrator shows us how virtuous the Weasleys must be seeing as their house is a crooked pigsty with boots and chickens in the yard. A clean spotless regular house is a sign of evil,as we all know.

*So Mrs Weasley finds out her sons stole away in the dead of the night, presumably to joyride in the illegally enchanted car they stole from their father's garage. Wake up call, Molly!

*And we get a display of the Dysfunctional Family Dynamics of the Weasleys. Funny how after all that shouting herself hoarse, the twins don't seem at all repentant, and channel their anger at being compared to Percy instead.

*Is it just me or is a clock that tells you're late when all you want to know is the exact time kind of useless?

*Ginny makes her entrance! The real Ginny that is, not the Sue who murdered her in OOtP. And the real Ginny squeals like a fangirl, and has been talking about Harry nonstop. How I miss her!

*Harry proves what a good friend he is by offering to de-gnome a garden. Seeing as how it involves a cruelly throwing someone smaller hard against the ground, I'm not surprised Harry's so enthusiastic.

*The garden is full of plenty of weeds to match the haphazardly put together house. But just in case Malfoy comments on anything later, he's just being condescending.

*Harry learned quickly not to feel sorry for the gnomes because one of them tried to bite him as he forcibly removed it from its dwelling place. Clearly gnomes are not to be pitied. Like goblins, they can, no doubt, "take care of themselves".

*Mr Weasley comes back after nine raids. We get a mention of Dung here, who tried to hex Arthur as his back was turned. Btw Order members fight fair. They're not all like DE's who attack from behind.

*Er, wouldn't a key that keeps shrinking not be able to open a lock after a change in its size? And wouldn't Muggles have noticed if their key was smaller than yesterday? Bless them, they'll go to any lengths to ignore magic, especially if they're given Memory Charms

*Molly rightfully accuses Arthur of intentionally leaving loopholes in the law, so that he can carry on illegally magicking stuff. Arthur feels no remorse and instead makes an inquiry into how well it flew. Yep, I'm beginning to see where the twins get it from.

*Apparently, Ginny is not shy and normally never shuts up. So, who's that girl from here to GoF? Her "weird" behavior lasts for four years even when Harry's not around?

*Ron's room is a violent shade of orange due to the Chudley Cannons. Funny, his passion for them was nonexistent before this.

*Oh, and you think Ron would know something about Muggle life if he reads comics about them. But apparently The Adventures of Martin Miggs, the Mad Muggle offers no tips on Muggle culture, or Ron would be less clueless. Can we say insidious anti-Muggle prejudice much?

*And Ron waits for Harry's approval of his room nervously, which Harry magnanimously bestows to watch Ron's ears go pink. I have to give JKR credit here, because it's a normal adolescent anxiety, and I'm glad she shows it.

*Aaargh! Three chapters in, and they're going to take two more to even get to school! More Dysfunctional Weasley drama to look forward to folks....

Informed Attributes: Ron loves the Chudley Cannons,I tell you! He talks about them all the time. Oh, and Ginny is not shy at all, she's a real chatterbox.

Idiot World: Wow, that Harry Potter kid is protected by blood magic. How do we get him away from there?

The Stealth Monster Rule: So that turquoise flying car comes with a silencer huh?

Final Score: 3

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

*Rumours about Lucius Malfoy's guilt didn't surprise Harry at all. Because he knew the eleven year old kid he disliked at first sight must be aligned with the powers of evil.>o?

Harry kind of needs to learn the difference between things working out the way he wants and not being surprised. It's like when Percy turns "evil" in OotP Harry's not surprised because Percy was always his least favorite.

*Apparently, Ginny is not shy and normally never shuts up. So, who's that girl from here to GoF? Her "weird" behavior lasts for four years even when Harry's not around?

And of course, the real Ginny isn't a chatterbox at all. She only ever says exactly what's necessary, usually some kind of devestating put down. Or she just hits people. Where the hints later that she actually chatters or ever did?

*Molly rightfully accuses Arthur of intentionally leaving loopholes in the law, so that he can carry on illegally magicking stuff. Arthur feels no remorse and instead makes an inquiry into how well it flew. Yep, I'm beginning to see where the twins get it from.

Molly's best moment. Once in a while she shows some common sense about ethics. Too bad only Percy notes it.

Harry kind of needs to learn the difference between things working out the way he wants and not being surprised.

Heh, yeah. Kind of like "Snape killed Dumbledore? I'm not surprised. I always knew he was evil since that first Potions class."
His explanation of why Dumbledore trusted Snape, in the hospital wing in HBP, is going to need revision. So he may get one surprise yet....

Er, wouldn't a key that keeps shrinking not be able to open a lock after a change in its size? And wouldn't Muggles have noticed if their key was smaller than yesterday? Bless them, they'll go to any lengths to ignore magic, especially if they're given Memory Charms

I'm partial to obliviate myself. Especially when it was shown in OOTP that Dumbledore's crowd used it indiscriminately. Poor Marietta, in addition to being cursed with messed up skin, her memory now has holes.

Oh, and you think Ron would know something about Muggle life if he reads comics about them. But apparently The Adventures of Martin Miggs, the Mad Muggle offers no tips on Muggle culture, or Ron would be less clueless. Can we say insidious anti-Muggle prejudice much?

Considering that no wizard or witch is schooled in anything other than magic, can you blame them for being overly simple souls? The comic is probably about a regular Joe who drives to work every morning in an old car and decides to have coffee instead of tea for breakfast. ohhhh, that mad muggle.

Poor Marietta, in addition to being cursed with messed up skin, her memory now has holes.

How much d'you want to bet she'd much rather go to the Dark side now? Oh, and if she does, Harry will be all: ZOMG I always knew she was evol!!!1!

No, it's probably like a colonialist "noble savage" work.

*Oh, wow. Fred and George apparently know how to pick locks with a hairpin. And this is clearly not their first time. It is a sign of their Uber-Coolness btw, and not dubious at all.

Duh, clearly it can't be dubious when it's performed by people with good hearts. Such things are only suspicious when you're in Slytherin. Did you notice Snape knew dark arts as a child? OMG THE CLUES WERE THERE ALL ALONG!

I want the twins to kill someone in book 7, I can't help it.

*The garden is full of plenty of weeds to match the haphazardly put together house.

Since housekeeping á la housewife witches means throwing a lot of spells around, wouldn't Molly have eons of time to take care of her garden? Oh, sorry, was I being disrespectful of the noble art of Being A Good Mother now?

I want the twins to kill someone in book 7, I can't help it.

Both of them? Or do you have a murderous favourite? *g*
Not that it matters really, everyone but JKR knows they're the same person.

Oh, sorry, was I being disrespectful of the noble art of Being A Good Mother now?

LOL, didn't JKR once get all pissy because ~~someone noticed that no mother in this book, regardless of age or amount of children has ever held down a job~~ someone denigrated Womankind by wondering why Molly's only in charge of the kitchen; and said something along the lines of 'She has eight children, blah blah I'm sure any mother understands the work of that...' (No dads of course.)
Yeah, and they're all away 3/4 of the year. (It's like that bizarro line in GoF where she's all 'Oh, how lovely to get a break from cooking for everyone'. Uh, isn't it that all the time?)