deathtocapslock | (no subject)

*Harry's month the Burrow was the happiest Ever and it was difficult not to feel jealous of Ron. With the amount of attention Molly gives Harry surpassing that of her own kids (remember Percy? Percy sitting all alone locked in his room, while Harry's getting non-stop adoration?) I should think it'd be the other way round.

*Molly cooks up another fantabulous meal with her cooking spells. Which are So Cool! I mean the pots and pans wash themselves! Not like boring Muggle dishwashers where the pots and pans, er.... wash themselves.

*Ahh...Mrs Weasley dashing around the house in a bad temper looking for quills and spare socks. What, no CAPSLOCK powers this time Molly?

*Arthur secretly puts yet another charm on the car, this time to magically expand it. Molly, who raged at her husband and kids a month ago due to the car, is now happy to use it to get their kids to school on time. Can we say double standards? No wonder the whole family is in Gryffindor.

*Molly refuses to let Arthur fly the car, since it's a Muggle object that is illegally charmed. Of course charming pots and pans, and knitting needles and knives, is totally OK, because the truth is that they were really invented by wizards.

*The barrier shuts down for Harry and Ron. If Harry had known he was in a book, he'd know it was Dobby's fault, due to the law of conservation of characters.

*The Dursleys haven't given Harry any pocket money for about six years. So they used to give him some cash at five and then stopped?

*Ron wonders if Molly and Arthur will be able to get back through the barrier. *facepalm* No ,Ron, all the parents who come to see their kids off, get stuck on the other side until the end of the school year.

*Hold on just a cotton pickin' minute! Ron taps the boot of the car to get it open? And no Ministry owls come a-flyin? Must have been a holiday at the Improper Use of Magic office.

*Sniggers* A compass on the dashboard? Just how old is this car?

*"All, we have to worry about now are aeroplanes." Because Boeing 747's really fly that close to the ground.

*Harry imagines the grand entrance they'll make at Hogwarts, and watching Fred and George's jealous faces.Wanted to arrive with a bang, did we boys? Snape exaggerates, but he's not completely off.

*Harry and Ron crash into the the Whomping Willow, fall to the ground, get hit by the tree again. Cue for a very wanky discussion about not wearing seatbelts, how OMG!JKR is sending the wrong message about car safety to kids.

*Ron's wand snaps in half, and he loses his mojo. I'm going to get you ~~Austin Powers~~ Whomping Willow!

*Harry and Ron watch the Sorting from the window so that JKR doesn't need to come up with another song that somehow demeans Hufflepuff virtues. Harry remembers how he had feared that the hat was going to put him in Slytherin, the house which had turned out more Dark wizards and witches than any other. A fact he learned from Hagrid, who only speaks Gospel Truth.

*Snape was Harry's least favourite teacher. Cruel, sarcastic and ~~beloved by half of fandom~~ disliked by everybody except the students from his own house (yeah, the evil house that got trashed in the last paragraph), Snape ~~saved Harry's worthless ass last year~~ taught Potions.

*Heh, I love how JKR makes his description as unattractive. Too bad she hasn't figured out that stuff like this makes the fangirls all pleased. An inch of rope.....

*Snape leads them into his Goth hideout of an office, complete with dead things and no fire.
He then showcases his immaturity with the famous Harry Potter and faithful sidekick Weasley speech, clearly thinking James is somehow listening in from the other side of the grave.

*Now remember, the the Whomping Wilow is veeery valuable, despite there being no use for it anymore. And its also veeeery old, and ancient, despite it's being planted when Lupin came to Hogwarts....not that long ago.

*So, the punishment for the illegally charmed Muggle car driven by two underage wizards, rests with Hogwarts? Not the Misuse of Muggle Artefacts Office, not the Improper Use of Magic Office, not even the Wizengamot? Wtf?

*Oh, and btw, all Dumbledore does is write to their parents, and they escape with a detention. No points taken from Gryffindor because term hadn't started? Somebody might wanna tell that to Snape in HBP....

*Snape looked as though Christmas had been cancelled. I bet he's the kind of miserable guy who hates Christmas anyway.

*According to Ron, McG doesn't want them showing off about the flying car. I guess Snape's not the only one reminded of James.

*And true to form, the cheers and the clapping await them in the Gryffindor dormitory. Oh, and the "Amazing" and "Unbelievable" shouts also help. Who needs to show off when they've already got the attention?

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it was difficult not to feel jealous of Ron.

But he'll settle for it just making any jealousy Ron feels for him reflect badly on Ron.

*The Dursleys haven't given Harry any pocket money for about six years. So they used to give him some cash at five and then stopped?

What Harry's not telling us is that he developed a huge gambling problem in kindergarten with that pocket money.

*Sniggers* A compass on the dashboard? Just how old is this car?

What, no rumble seat?

Snape exaggerates, but he's not completely off.

And is giving them credit. Can you imagine being so stupid that the only thing you can do upon missing your ride to school is boost your Dad's car and drive it by your 12-year-old self?

he had feared that the hat was going to put him in Slytherin, the house which had turned out more Dark wizards and witches than any other.

Actually he feared the hat wouldn't Sort him at all. I just read that chapter!

And its also veeeery old, and ancient, despite it's being planted when Lupin came to Hogwarts....not that long ago.

Obviously trees can't do maths either.

*Molly cooks up another fantabulous meal with her cooking spells.

And yet, in PS, she could only make Ron a dry corned beef sandwich. She really does have something against him, doesn't she?

Harry remembers how he had feared that the hat was going to put him in Slytherin, the house which had turned out more Dark wizards and witches than any other.

As opposed to Gryffindor, the house which turns out more self-righteous sociopaths than any other.

*Snape looked as though Christmas had been cancelled. I bet he's the kind of miserable guy who hates Christmas anyway.

If he did, I wouldn't blame him, seeing as he has to spend it with the staff of Hagwarts and whatever students stay behind. I can only imagine that Dumbledore's twinkly old eccentric act gets even more irritating around the holidays.

I can only imagine that Dumbledore's twinkly old eccentric act gets even more irritating around the holidays.

Heh, yeah. Wasn't there a moment in PoA where he wore the vulture hat that came out of a Christmas cracker? The one Snape was unhappy to see? I bet Snape was grumbling "I don't get paid enough for this!"

I'm thinking the Ravens respect his intellect and the Huffs admire his loyalty to Slytherin house. Its only the Gryffs who whine about him. Par for the course.

It's like how the Ravenclaws think Hagrid's a joke but the Gryffindors still stick up for him even though they know he's a quack. Just because it's Harry's universal opinion doesn't mean the two 'spare' houses have to follow.

Maybe he will kill Voldemort with yet another big animal or he could just SIT on Voldemort with his "non-fat" ass.

That would be such a hilarious ending! Hagrid would show him the Power of Love all right.

Percy is nothing. Harry is teh "Chosen One", rich and will be influential in the WW. So naturally Molly is there with the big suck up. Percy will have to go his own way.

Poor Percy. When Molly sucks up to Harry, it's called generosity. When Percy does it for his career, it's called selling out.