CoS Chapter Seventeen

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

*Harry makes it to the Chamber of Secrets. Unsurprisingly, it is an awesome spot for a Goth party. A big cave with snakes carved everywhere, lit by an eerie green light. I’ll bet the Slytherins come down here all the time on the weekends and do the monkey man dance.

*Harry sneaks into the Chamber with his wand out—but don’t worry, if he sees the snake he’ll shut his eyes really fast. Or he would, if he wouldn’t already be frozen by then, maybe.

*Slytherin looks monkey-like. As in, less than human. What a shock.

*Ginny’s lying under the statue. We know something is wrong because while her red hair is still flaming, it is not dancing.

*Harry throws his wand aside. As a Gryffindor he knows what’s called for in a dramatic rescue.

*I can see what everyone means about Harry having a super-sensitive instinct about people. He figured out Tom Riddle was evil the moment Tom finally told him in no uncertain terms that he was evil.

*Ginny II resents the implication that Harry is staggering under Ginny’s dead weight. Ginny II would be lithe and easy to carry no matter what state she was in. That’s another reason Ginny I had to die.

*It’ s a little depressing to think that an 11-year old’s actual *soul* is contained in her shallow whining about her brothers and the boy she has a crush on. Well, I’m a woman. I know what we’re like.

*Yes, Harry. It was a Gryffindor who did all those things. We won’t wait for you to admit that, though. We’d be here all night. Ginny was completely blameless, even for the parts where she consciously decided to act in a way that would endanger others.

*Yes, those diary entries are really interesting. Ginny thinks she’s attacking everybody and her response is to get paranoid around that evil Percy for "suspecting" her and to not tell anybody at all.

*Tom tells Harry how he easily framed Hagrid since it was his word against Hagrid’s. Oh Tom, how things have changed. Nowadays Hagrid could be found feeding a student’s head to one of his monsters and he wouldn’t get fired. The student might get detention, though.

*Tom forgets to mention that luckily Hagrid was indeed raising a deadly monster at the time.

*Ginny’s motivations have been pretty cold throughout this story. Stealing the diary back to prevent Harry finding out she liked him and to cover up her own crimes.

*The real reason, of course, was that Ginny was afraid Harry might discover evidence of her actually personally. Years later she will have created a false diary where she spent second year confiding things like, "What ho, Diary—my Potions class contains seven losers, an idiot, a bimbo and a freak. I hexed them all thoroughly, of course. Thinking of trying out the new bat bogey hex. I’ll tell you how it went. Cheers, Ginny."

*And why, exactly, did Ginny starting writing in the damn thing again once she stole it back?

*LOL! I’m sorry, we’ve got to take some time out here and imagine young Tom Riddle telling his friends that from now on he wants them to call him by his super Goth name, Lord Voldemort.

*Though I suppose since they were Slytherins they probably all had Goth names, just like the Gryffindors all have, like, frat boy nicknames. Lord Voldemort, Count Sepulchre, Lucifer Anibestus, The Viceroy of Doom…

*It’s actually a little known fact that Tom developed his name as part of a long-running game of Dungeons and Dragons the Slytherins were having.

*How I wish I could actually play D&D so I could describe a scene of Tom’s character, Lord Voldemort, actually in the game, rolling the dice and gaining powers for himself with Cornelius Crabbe as Dungeon Master.

*Harry’s brain seems to have jammed. It does that a lot. He might want to have it checked.

*Tom’s backstory sounds a whole lot more interesting, and totally different, when he tells it here. He makes it sound like Tom Riddle, Sr. was like Darrin Stevens in an alternate universe, abandoning Merope because she was a witch. (Not realizing how much help she could be in getting him advertising accounts!)

*Fawkes’ appearance might be moving if I didn’t know he’s only showing up because Harry spontaneously decided to kiss Dumbledore’s arse.

*The longer they stand there, the more life is dwindling out of Ginny. Oh, see, now I’m totally on Tom’s side because I know that what awaits Ginny if she survives is a fate worse than death.

*Tom says he and Harry look something alike. Ooh! Is Harry as fanciable as you, really? Because you’re quite fit.

*LOL! The Hogwarts Four? Bwahahaha! That’s awesome! They must fight crime. "Salazar, use your Parseltongue to talk to that giant anaconda. Helga will drill us a secret passage out of its lair with her badger digging power. Rowena will calculate exactly where we need to surface to save the Chinese ambassador in time using Arithmancy. And me? Just get me to the opera house and, I’ll take care of Mojo Jojo."

*So…that statue of Slytherin is basically a giant Pez dispenser. Cool. As adults maybe Crabbe and Goyle can open a candy shop and sell miniature ones. (I can picture them wearing chefs aprons and hats like the guys in In the Night Kitchen.)

*Riddle has to remind the basilisk that it mostly finds prey through smelling.

*Tom Riddle’s going to sit there and watch Harry die. He’s in no hurry. Oh Tom. Super villains never are.

*Yeah, like Tom would forget that phoenix tears were healing. Because it’s not like he’s obsessed with everything having to do with immortality or anything.

*I’m sorry, but why couldn’t Ginny tell Harry she was the one opening the Chamber in front of Percy? Why is Percy always the bad guy in this family?

*And why the fuck was she determined to tell Harry rather than, say, McGonagall? Oh right, I forgot. Nothing else matters except what Harry thinks.

*Priorities straight as always, Ginny begins whining about getting expelled and not, you know, whether she hurt anyone else.

*Ron tries to hug Ginny but she holds him off. Only Harry will do.

*Ron asks Harry if he’s thought how they’re going to get back up the pipe. That’s why Ron’s the lamest of the Trio. What kind of hero would consider something practical like that? A cowardly one, that’s who!

*Lockhart says flying is just like magic. Apparently when Wizards lose their memory they become Muggles. He can’t remember he can do magic, but he remembers somehow what magic is.





Hero’s Death Battle Exemption
OMG, I totally forgot that the bird crying over you cries tears that will bring you back to life! Dang it!

IITS
Yes, I know that’s just the sort of thing I would know, but IITS!

James Bond Exposition Rule
"So then, when I was sixteen I discovered that my great great great great great great Grandfather was a member of the Hogwarts Four, who ran bootleg whisky from Canada into Chicago. And I decided…"

Light Bulb Moment
Wait, you mean you’ve taken my wand and are smiling wickedly over this unconscious girl in the Chamber because you don’t want to be my friend?

Nut o’ Fun
Does anything else come out of Slytherin’s big giant fun house mouth?

Final score: 5

Signs of things to come: Some people just don’t have to think about how their actions affected others. I mean, who cares if a couple of Mudbloods might have died? Ginny’s wanted to come to Hogwarts since Bill did! (Which I think would have made her something like -5 years old.) No, Tom Riddle will never learn to stop speechifying before killing somebody, and neither will any of his friends.

Comments

[meritjubet.livejournal.com]

[Note] Posted comment again due to coding error.

*Slytherin looks monkey-like.

*huff* typical. Makes all those Slytherin/Gryffindor fics a tad interesting though. It reminds me of Nobby Nobbs from Discworld. That's a weird thought.

Ginny thinks she’s attacking everybody

Perhaps the war will provide some useful for Ginny to do. Oh dear, how frightful of me to suggest! Ginny will have to stay home barefoot and pregnant safe and secure.

*Tom tells Harry how he easily framed Hagrid since it was his word against Hagrid’s.

They were probably overhwlemed by Tom's pretty. Wizards generally seemed unable to resist that allure.

And why, exactly, did Ginny starting writing in the damn thing again once she stole it back?

The Idiot runs strong in this one.

Why is Percy always the bad guy in this family?

Because he eventually will want to get away from his family and *gasp* slander Dumbledore!? Setting up for future events, wouldn't want to present a moral grey ground here. Ginny is right, Percy was nosy and obviously evil and not looking out for his baby sister.

[papier.livejournal.com]

Ginny’s motivations have been pretty cold throughout this story. Stealing the diary back to prevent Harry finding out she liked him and to cover up her own crimes.

Yeah...Ginny? If you're going to cover up a secret, make sure it's a secret that not *everyone* knows. Because the crush thing? Kinda obvious.

The real reason, of course, was that Ginny was afraid Harry might discover evidence of her actually personally. Years later she will have created a false diary where she spent second year confiding things like, "What ho, Diary—my Potions class contains seven losers, an idiot, a bimbo and a freak. I hexed them all thoroughly, of course. Thinking of trying out the new bat bogey hex. I’ll tell you how it went. Cheers, Ginny."

Hee! But really, even years later, all she'd have to whine about in her diary is boys and her family, just like before. Only with scorn rather than self-pity. The context might change but the content hasn't. I'm not saying that a lot of girls don't write about that sort of thing, but I can't stand Ginny-fen acting as though she's precocious and has great involvement in the war, because she really *doesn't*. She's a very normal, if spiteful girl, concerned with boys and popularity, which is why Harry wanted to date her - because she's normal, not special.

And why, exactly, did Ginny starting writing in the damn thing again once she stole it back?

You can imagine how awkward that conversation was.

G: Tom!
T: Wha-? Oh, it's you again. What now?
G: I saw Harry with you! Did you -
T: Did I possess him? Did I torture his tiny little brain? Did I petrify more students, ruin more lives, plot more plots of world domination? Did I steal any -
G: No, no, no, did you tell him I liked him?!
T: Um...no...?
G: Thank god! *closes book*
T: ...is it wrong that even I'm judging her?

Tom says he and Harry look something alike. Ooh! Is Harry as fanciable as you, really? Because you’re quite fit.

So he's just a narcissist after all.
But Radcliffe and Christian Coulson looked nothing like each other in the CoS movie. Christian had this adorable little curl at the front of his hair that rendered him completely non-threatening. I wish it was canon! I can imagine Bella and Cissy talking about how they just want to ping it.

[merrymelody.livejournal.com]

Yeah...Ginny? If you're going to cover up a secret, make sure it's a secret that not *everyone* knows. Because the crush thing? Kinda obvious.

That's what's so weird! If it's worth risking every Muggleborn in school getting killed rather than *gasp* have some guy realise you (OMG!) like him, then why does she send him a Valentine and talk about him all summer?
(I also like how Ron just makes a casual reference to it in this chapter or the next, like a normal human being not realising Ginny's precious crush is LIFE OR DEATH. She should have used the bat bogey hex and super dooper sassiness that she had all along, honest!, and at least threatened her brothers not to tell anyone.)

[elanor-x.livejournal.com]

This is my Favorite Chapter in my favorite HP book and the favorite scene in HP movies. Yay!

*Harry sneaks into the Chamber with his wand out—but don’t worry, if he sees the snake he’ll shut his eyes really fast. Or he would, if he wouldn’t already be frozen by then, maybe.
After closing his eyes I guess he plans to be pierced by its sword-like venomous fangs after half-a-minute chase, in which Harry will wisely keep his eyes shut. Hey, at least he won’t die after looking in the serpent’s eyes like Mourning Myrtle. Sounds like a good plan to me.
May be it would be even better to purposefully look into the water on the floor, so that in the worst case Harry would be petrified like Filch’s cat. For some reason basilisk doesn’t seem to be very eager to eat its petrified victims. I suppose the snake isn’t against the idea, but imo the chance to be ignored in the petrified state is higher than when the person is running away. Then Ron would tell somebody and Harry would be rescued.

*Slytherin looks monkey-like. As in, less than human. What a shock.
Salazar apparently was ancient [how old was he when he died?] and monkeyish, with a long, thin beard. I am nitpicking here, but the words “thin beard” reminded me of Dumbledore’s bushy one [this is so in my head & the movies, can’t find evidence in the books. In ch. 6 of HP & SS his Chocolate Frog’s picture is described thus “flowing, silver hair, beard and mustache”]. And also of “Beatrice: He that hath a beard is more than a youth, and he that hath no beard is less than a man:-William Shakespeare - Excerpt from 'Much Ado About Nothing' – Act 2, Scene I”

*Ginny’s lying under the statue. We know something is wrong because while her red hair is still flaming, it is not dancing.
The picture of Ginny with her “flaming-red hair” and “white as marble” face, lying between the feet of the ancient Slytherin, brings an association of rape for me.

*I can see what everyone means about Harry having a super-sensitive instinct about people. He figured out Tom Riddle was evil the moment Tom finally told him in no uncertain terms that he was evil.
You are too hard on the boy, sistermagpie. Riddle wasn't attacking Harry from the beginning and Tom's voice was soft. Everybody knows that bad guys don't behave like that - they are bound to be physically ugly and shout, shriek or baby-talk tauntingly.
Tom Riddle here - dressed in black and with dark hair, older than Harry and more powerful, brooding and controlling, resembles more Mr Darcy than The Evil Overlord.

* I specially liked when Harry saw the diary and "for a second" wondered how it got there – "but there were more pressing matters to deal with".

* How did Tom talk and control the basilisk after finding the chamber without getting petrified? Is it his special gift, inherited from Salazar? Here people can claim that this Tom Riddle is a memory and somehow doesn't suffer from Basilisk's gaze, unlike living people or ghosts, but then he was a normal, alive boy. Also how did basilisk recognize him as Slytherin's heir? Talking with snakes isn't enough, since it attacks Harry, who too has this ability. Is the smell of his blood/body different? Can basilisk feel his aura?

[anehan]

For some reason basilisk doesn’t seem to be very eager to eat its petrified victims.

That is a bit weird. It's like the snake's all, "Oh, I don't want to eat them, I just kill them for fun. It's just like fox-hunting." I mean, why doesn't it eat any of the petrified people? After all, it says it's hungry.

Also how did basilisk recognize him as Slytherin's heir? Talking with snakes isn't enough, since it attacks Harry, who too has this ability.

Well, Harry doesn't actually talk to the snake, so it can't know Harry's a Parselmouth. The movie did a bit of retconning here, what with Tom shouting that Parseltongue wouldn't help Harry because the basilisk only obeys Tom. IMO that wasn't necessary, because there's nothing weird about Harry not trying to talk to the snake: Harry's panicking and not thinking clearly. Moreover, he hasn't really practiced Parseltongue, so most of the time he probably doesn't even consciously remember he can talk to snakes.

[anehan]

Also, continuing with the Parseltongue angle, isn't it weird that no one (i.e. Dumbledore) thinks to train Harry's Parseltongue ability? There's Voldemort with this incredibly rare ability, which he could maybe... possibly... conceivably... use to his advantage. Like, say, concealing a Horcrux behind a Parseltongue password. If I were Dumbledore I'd be worried about that.

And then, lo and behold! A person with this same incredibly rare talent surfaces, and luckily he's on your side. Any competent general would immediately start training him to understand snakes and to become practiced in speaking Parseltongue. Dumbledore, though, goes all "it's your choices, not abilities, that matter. Let us pretend you can't talk to snakes." Way to go, Dumbles, way to go. Let's all stick our heads in the sand and hope that Harry's OMG SO EBIL Parseltongue ability goes away. Because there's no way we could find it useful. After all, it's more evil than, say, the ability to eviscerate people. Yes. *nods sagely*

[ellecain.livejournal.com]

*Gasp* Training his sooper speshul talent? As if the Chosen One requires any training! It's all innate ability, comes to him naturally! No training required.

You know like *most* people have to practice Quidditch before they can do fifty feet dives, but Harry manages it the first time he gets on a broom in PS... All those special talents of his don't need training. They're by-products of Teh Power of Love! :-)

[artystone.livejournal.com]

Don't be silly! The Basilisk, like Harry himself, is dazzled by Tom's pretty!

[anehan]

*Harry throws his wand aside. As a Gryffindor he knows what’s called for in a dramatic rescue.

Note to self: when knowingly venturing into the lair of a basilisk, which presumably also has a villainous Heir in attendance, there is no need to keep a firm grip on your wand. In addition, if said villainous Heir should, as a consequence of your feeble grip, get hold of your wand, remember that it is not polite to try to take the wand back by force. You should merely listen to the exposition speech in peace and resign yourself to your inevitable death. Kthnx.

[kaskait.livejournal.com]

*It’ s a little depressing to think that an 11-year old’s actual *soul* is contained in her shallow whining about her brothers and the boy she has a crush on. Well, I’m a woman. I know what we’re like.

Its the power of love! It was love that caused her to kill those roosters. It was love that allowed her to be used as a Tommy avatar to attack everyone. Its all done out of love.

If you were a real woman, you would know what most of us gals were like. And when you do, you get a Jo-Crux like the Anelliban of TLC. *nods*

Love means "I'd kill a rooster for you, boy". We could make a whole line of valentine's day cards with that one. Lets Profit, SM!

*Tom’s backstory sounds a whole lot more interesting, and totally different, when he tells it here. He makes it sound like Tom Riddle, Sr. was like Darrin Stevens in an alternate universe, abandoning Merope because she was a witch. (Not realizing how much help she could be in getting him advertising accounts!)

That is totally what I thought happened. Until I was fed the psychopath, degenerate from birth family history. Pffft.