deathtocapslock | GoF Chapter-Twenty-Six

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GoF Chapter-Twenty-Six

*Note to self--Poor aim caused by lack of confidence.

*Hee! Go Flitwick go!

*Ron knocks Parvati's hat off. Hat's were really in fourth year!

*Second note to self--Aim is improved by finally asking important plot question: what did Snape do with his first chance? Oh Harry, you're better off not knowing. He seems much cooler than way.

*Oh Harry, Moody wouldn't transfigure you into anything for attacking someone in front of you. You're not a Slytherin and your dad wasn't a Death Eater!

*Time is starting to fly for Harry again. Is it because he's approaching death by drowning or because the author finally ran out of stuff to stick in before we get to the next Task?

*Would it really be that difficult to find out about gillyweed? For someone who's supposed to be so damned smart Hermione is unhelpful at the worst of times. Isn't there, like, a book where you look up something like "how to breathe underwater" and it gives you ideas? Surely there are Wizard professions that have to do with going underwater? Muggles win once more for inventing google and underwater breathing apparatuses that people have actually heard of.

*People have pointed out that Draco's hair seems very unicorn like. I think it starts out more yellow or gold, then later is described as silver blond, and finally is white blond. Unicorns come of age at 7, as the kids do in their seventh year. People usually assume Draco's wand core is dragon heartstring…I'm thinking we could be dealing with unicorn hair here. Purity being important to Draco all around, not just in terms of being Pureblood but also the whole not killing anybody thing. Certainly he was more trusting when he was a baby. ETA: Go me for getting Draco's wand core right.

*Another point to Slytherin for not being the type of people to not ask how to keep themselves from drowning because somebody has confidence that they're going to win. Honestly, who cares about winning, especially for Hagrid's sake? I'd be incredibly pissy about this contest all the time if I were Harry.

*Note for all the claims that people sabotage Hagrid's class--the Slytherins don't disrupt the class when it's an actual class. They just comment on it when it's a farce.

*Harry worries McGonagall is going to tell Ron and Hermione off for helping. Yeah, right. Like she's going to interfere with something that would make a Gryffindor win.

*Gee, everyone is convinced Harry's going to pull off another stunning performance. Guess they've all been paying attention for the past four years or so.

*You know, it's really completely unbelievable that Harry hasn't found some way to breathe underwater. Also, I can't believe he didn't just ask a teacher. I would have, and not considered it cheating either.

*I'll bet if you looked at every dream Harry has ever had in canon, Malfoy would appear more than anyone else. That's not even counting those dreams in sixth year where he's dreaming about Ginny, only she looks like Malfoy. (That's my interpretation and I'm sticking to it.)

*Wizards don't seem to have come up with card catalogs yet either. Muggles win.

*Okay, as much as I know Harry's going to win as usual, the idea of him facing this task in ten minutes before somebody gives him the answer is pretty scary.

*Karkaroff and Maxime thought Harry wasn't going to turn up. Um, wasn't the whole point that he couldn't just not turn up because of that whole Magical Contract thing?

*The stitch in his side adds to the drama, but should he really had to have gotten there exactly on time? Wizards don't exactly seem like overly punctual types, and surely they could wait for the last of four people.

*Does he get disqualified if he shows up late? If so, I think I've found yet another way around that magical contract...

*You'd think Harry would have thought to leave his robes when he dove into the water, only maybe now he'd be naked without them? HOW DOES THE CLOTHING WORK?

* Harry takes off his shoes and socks but leaves his glasses on, and his watch. He really doesn't have much experience with getting wet, does he?

*Boy, this task really gets embarassing. Harry and Fleur are revealed to be normal people who would most miss their best friend and their little sister. Cedric and Viktor will apparently most miss girls they went to a dance with a few weeks ago. That's pretty sad. Though at least with Cedric he presumably knows Cho. I wonder if Viktor will be revealed to be a stalker in the next book. ETA: No. ::sigh::

*I can't believe Harry's going to be given full points for being extra annoying.

*Though to be fair, why on earth would anyone trust Dumbledore not to let anyone drown? A sane person wouldn't have agreed to this contest to begin with.

*Percy runs out to hug Ron. Probably in an evil way. RIP Percy who didn't think he was totally wrong.

*LOL-Oh yeah, Hermione. Like Harry has ever found out stuff by himself.

*Oh, poor Harry. Maybe he'll come in second from being so fucking heroic. Pshht. How sad this is the closest Rowling can get to allowing Harry to actually lose at something--by having him tie for first.

*Btw, Fleur=loser. And in the movie we can assume that if there were any boys at Beauxbatons she would never have been champion.

*Hermione looks furious at Fleur for kissing Ron for helping. Meanwhile she's totally dissing Viktor. Wonder how people would react if he sent a pack of vultures after her for it?

*Poor Viktor's just so naive. Hermione was polite around him--obviously that means she doesn't like him. True love means you've got to be insulting and rude, either to the person in question (R/H) or to everyone else in the universe (H/G).

*Um, bubble headed charms are totally common in the next book. People keep using them for stink bombs. Why would Harry not have heard of them at all? Oh right, so he could have a totally contrived problem with this task with added drama as his gills disappeared.

*Wow, Harry's tying for first place with Cedric. If anyone deserves points for moral fibre it's…well, it's not Harry, really, but he's such a hero!

*Btw, not that blood tells anything, but I can't say I'm surprised that our fine English lads have it all over those damn furriners.

*Hermione doesn't even seem embarrassed that she's the thing Krum will miss most. You'd think most girls would be a bit uncomfortable if they cared that little about the guy. But then, we now how Hermione is about guys she's just using to make Ron jealous.

*Actually, it's kind of seeming like Krum really might have a dark side will see in the next book. But then, that's coming from someone with very different ideas about love than JKR. She may consider Viktor's Hermione-focus to be only her due, and if he kidnaps her in Book ViI it'll just show how pretty she is or something. ETA: Yup, just her due.

Designated Hero
Designated is right!

IITS
Hermione really can't solve the problem of breathing underwater? Really?

Idiot Picture
I wonder if the Merpeople actually told Dumbledore they expected an apology for his sending down an idiot who threatened them with his wand?

Idiot World
Let's think for a minute about how close Moody's plan came to failing in this chapter. Ten minutes later and Harry would have been saved because he really isn't friends with Neville.

Informed Attributes
Hermione really does mean that much to Viktor. Just go with it.

McGuffin
Yup, you'd really think this Tournament was part of the evil plan and not just en elaborate set up for "touch this object" wouldn't you?

Final score: 6

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*You'd think Harry would have thought to leave his robes when he dove into the water, only maybe now he'd be naked without them? HOW DOES THE CLOTHING WORK?

Apart from that, how did they keep from freezing to death during February in Scotland?

I wonder if Viktor will be revealed to be a stalker in the next book. ETA: No. ::sigh::

He's not a stalker, but at Bill and Fleur's wedding he's got a...robust sense of entitlement. And after that glimpse of international pro Quidditch at the World Cup, I was wondering if there was a groupie culture as there is for Muggle sports.

Apart from that, how did they keep from freezing to death during February in Scotland?

Warming Charms. If they have not been named it's because Charms, Spells and Curses only exist when Harry needs them or needs to defend himself from them.

I love the clothing cockup! Apparently they wear robes only they don't and they wear muggle clothes only they don't and they wear something that's entirely magical and appropriate and... Oh, dear, clothes.

He's not a stalker, but at Bill and Fleur's wedding he's got a...robust sense of entitlement. And after that glimpse of international pro Quidditch at the World Cup, I was wondering if there was a groupie culture as there is for Muggle sports.

Seemed a bit of a change from GoF for me, actually, with the way he was with Hermione.

Yeah, wasn't he supposed to be shy and hate having his photo taken, and avoided all the That Type of Girls following him around? Is he the New Ginny who was Always Like That? Maybe that's why he thinks she's hot.

*Percy runs out to hug Ron. Probably in an evil way. RIP Percy who didn't think he was totally wrong.
I had this really long wanky imaginative answer about how Percy gets to evade Weasley dogma after DH (and what was really going through his head when he did what he did) that JKR never knew or wrote about but it got so long and wanky I'll spare you the trauma of reading a Percy-fan's delusional ramblings on how Percy's true happy ending happened. Although I must say, JKR ultimately plays a very simplistic card for nearly all of her characters, like Snape and Lily. Excuse me while I growl slightly at Woobie!TorturedByronicHero!Snape and at DesireMe!Lily.

*Um, bubble headed charms are totally common in the next book. People keep using them for stink bombs. Why would Harry not have heard of them at all? Oh right, so he could have a totally contrived problem with this task with added drama as his gills disappeared.
The problem is that you're assuming too much of his intelligence ;)

*Actually, it's kind of seeming like Krum really might have a dark side will see in the next book. But then, that's coming from someone with very different ideas about love than JKR. She may consider Viktor's Hermione-focus to be only her due, and if he kidnaps her in Book ViI it'll just show how pretty she is or something. ETA: Yup, just her due.
Besides having very screwed up ideas on love, JKR also has a weird thing going on with her protagonists. See, they're worthy if they're desired, yet she still tries to make them underdog heroes as well, despite the elitist/desired status *coughHarrycough* It totally hurts my brain. But that's what I get for cheering on the villains and unpopular characters in the book. (True unpopular/underdog characters, not Harry style underdogs).

Well I think JKR wants her Heroes to win because they are best at Violence - actually not, but that IS the subtext - but she also knows that people like underdogs, so she writes the Fake!Underdog!Hero thing and who cares if it plays merry hell with continuity and worldbuilding? This is a wish-fulfiulment fantasy, kids, do NOT think, enjoy.

Harry worries McGonagall is going to tell Ron and Hermione off for helping

Especially when everyone else is cheating. Why do they hold this competition again? The fostering of friendship isn't going well (or at least through the Harry-blinkers) and it seems fairly violent. ...Ah, I see. And what was Dumbledore thinking? He knows Voldemort is on the rise, and in the confusion of the Tournament someone could sneak in. Harry is bait? Shock horror.

Wizards don't seem to have come up with card catalogs yet either. Muggles win.

You would think there would be a spell. Or, I don't know. Accio books on breathing underwater.

I'll bet if you looked at every dream Harry has ever had in canon, Malfoy would appear more than anyone else.

Ah, subtext, we know you well.

You'd think Harry would have thought to leave his robes when he dove into the water, only maybe now he'd be naked without them

It would be hard to swim in clothes. But Harry is teh manly, even though he just broke his voice.

It's really funny to think back on the stab at unity in this book--as all other kinds of unity, it's not really important. The battle can be won pretty much by mostly English folk personally loyal to Harry. Others are cowardly anyway.

Just like in World War II, and don't let those Commies and Yanks tell you otherwise!

Muggles win once more for inventing google and underwater breathing apparatuses that people have actually heard of.

Dude, Muggles would win just for Google alone. The best they can manage is voice messaging via Patronus, while we have Email, Text Messaging, Voicemail, Webcams - and best of all, we have Youtube! Muggles win all the way. No contest.

Though to be fair, why on earth would anyone trust Dumbledore not to let anyone drown? A sane person wouldn't have agreed to this contest to begin with.

Seriously. After Dumbledore in DH, I would believe anything of the man. While everyone read the earlier books before DH came out, I started reading them in order after DH came out - and I gotta tell ya, Dumbledore looks creepier and creepier with each one.

Hermione was polite around him--obviously that means she doesn't like him. True love means you've got to be insulting and rude, either to the person in question (R/H) or to everyone else in the universe (H/G).

*snicker* Or you have the Snape version of True Love - Sacrifing your life to your love's idiotic progeny because you were rude and insulting to them once in high school.

ellecain: *snicker* Or you have the Snape version of True Love - Sacrifing your life to your love's idiotic progeny because you were rude and insulting to them once in high school.

Actually what bothered me about that was that he actually wasn't all that rude, or at least I can't blame him. It didn't seem to me like Lily was ever really defending Snape from James in the pensieve; she was flirting with James and treating Snape as basically a prop. The whole altercation seemed really staged, like James put it on for Lily's benefit and she came over for James's sake, not for Snape's. And I have to assume JKR is aware of this on some level, because she implied that Lily had always fancied James:

Melissa: "How did they get together? She hated James, from what we've seen."
JKR: "Did she really? You're a woman, you know what I'm saying."

So Snape insults Lily, because she's clearly using him—and even if she wasn't using him, or didn't intend to be, she's known him for about six years and should know he's a suspicious, psychologically-damaged person who would think she was.

And she not only expects him to apologize, but won't even accept his apology?

Ack, yes, this is why the Snape/Lily storyline annoyed me in DH, despite the fact that I was prepared for this revelation. (I did, however, harbour small hopes that JKR would at least develop Lily to be more than just the little red-haired girl for Snape's Charlie Brown. Like all of that business about Potions! Or have someone who really knew her and would talk about her!). If you take into account that Snape and Lily were apparently childhood best friends and that Lily was meant to be some kind of beacon of pure goodness or whatever dipshit DesireMe!Mary Sue she's meant to be, her behaviour really comes across as cold in OotP on retrospection. Not that I was very impressed with her first time around - when I first read Snape's Worst Memory I just immediately felt the vibe that in the grand scheme of things, it was all about James trying to get Lily to react to him and Lily trying to find an excuse to yell at him (since normal interaction is out of their league being the nutters they are). Snape just happened to be a good excuse. The IoD didn't help in making me like these two even if it did confirm my suspicion. Then these two dipshits got married. Snape should have been thanking his lucky stars and developed a less woobielike character motivation but ah well, it was all part of JKR's plan I guess.

It's funny...it's like so many places where characters are wrong in canon. I always wind up thinking there's another person who ought to also apologize, but everyone in canon sees it as only the fault of the one person. Like when Ron needs to apologize to Harry for thinking he put his name in the Goblet, but Harry's remark about Ron wanting to be him just evaporates. Or here it's all Snape being horrible for getting angry at Lily for no reason, when she actually was doing something that would make anybody angry in that scene.

Like Percy and the family fight!
Yeah, I'll just shut up before I get really carried away ;D
But I have to say - I agree with you here, which is why it bothers the shit out of me. But to be fair in a totally aggravating way, MOST (all?) of the characters and conflicts in the series got the crappy and simplistic resolution and developmental arc ending. The pattern seems to be bad grovels to the good and the good sit smugly on their pedestals. Sigh. It's really too bad because the conflicts ARE complicated which is why it engages in the first place. Then it just fizzles.

Actually what bothered me about that was that he actually wasn't all that rude, or at least I can't blame him. It didn't seem to me like Lily was ever really defending Snape from James in the pensieve; she was flirting with James and treating Snape as basically a prop. The whole altercation seemed really staged, like James put it on for Lily's benefit and she came over for James's sake, not for Snape's. And I have to assume JKR is aware of this on some level, because she implied that Lily had always fancied James:

This is what bugged me about JKR's claim that Lily might have grown to love Snape romantically. It's one of those places of having the cake and eating it too. Lily obviously likes James in the Pensieve and I personally can't imagine her with Snape at all, but lest we forget, that's Snape's fault, not Lily's. Looks didn't mean anything to her--she could have loved him. Like Harry, it just turned out the best person was the better looking.

I also kinda snickered at JKR's sort-of-ruffled/sort-of-amused 'Snape thought he had more important things to worry about than looks' answer in that Q and A, like the questioner was so shallow. I mean, Hermione has 'more important things' to think about, same as Lily and Ginny and Harry. They're just naturally hot.
Maybe the person wanted to be sure Snape couldn't have just pulled beauty out of his ass when the time came to find a mate, or whether he was the kind of good guy who's okay to fight in battle but isn't really worthy of breeding with the inner circle.

slinkhard: ....he was the kind of good guy who's okay to fight in battle but isn't really worthy of breeding with the inner circle.

Which strikes me as very much an aristocrat-vs.-social climber thing.

It's funny; for all the effort JKR expends on trying to portray the Slytherins as aristocrats, the Gryffindors come off as much more aristocratic. The four houses fit perfectly well into the old Indo-European framework of societal castes: Hufflepuffs are workers (too busy with practical matters to engage in much abstract work, considered an undifferentiated mass by others), Ravenclaws are priests (scholars, holders of arcane knowledge), Slytherins are merchants (sly, underhanded, considered an abomination by the other three), and Gryffindors are warriors (aristocratic, "natural rulers," fight to defend one's honor).

slinkhard: Maybe the person wanted to be sure Snape couldn't have just pulled beauty out of his ass when the time came to find a mate....

"His eyes fell instead on the wizard next to Krum. His jaw dropped.

"It was Snape.

"But he didn't look like Snape at all. He had done something with his hair; it was no longer greasy but sleek and shiny, and twisted up into an elegant knot at the back of his head. He was wearing robes made of a floaty, periwinkle-blue material, and he was holding himself differently, somehow....

"Parvati was gazing at Snape in unflattering disbelief. She wasn't the only one either; when the doors to the Great Hall opened, Krum's fan club from the library stalked past, throwing Snape looks of deepest loathing....

"He caught sight of Ron and Padma as he neared the top table. Ron was watching Snape pass with narrowed eyes. Padma was looking sulky....

"On Boxing Day...Snape's hair was greasy again; he confessed to Harry that he had used liberal amounts of Sleekeazy's Hair Potion on it for the ball, 'but it's way too much bother to do every day,' he said matter-of-factly."

Now I'm picturing Snape as Krum's gay lover.... :P

*Boy, this task really gets embarassing. Harry and Fleur are revealed to be normal people who would most miss their best friend and their little sister. Cedric and Viktor will apparently most miss girls they went to a dance with a few weeks ago. That's pretty sad. Though at least with Cedric he presumably knows Cho. I wonder if Viktor will be revealed to be a stalker in the next book. ETA: No. ::sigh::

It would have made sense if the judges hadn't bothered to bring in people from overseas. So Fleur would just have a friend from Beauxbatons, and we'll assume that none of Krum's friends decided to go to Hogwarts that year, or that he doesn't have any. So the only option is his new girlfriend.

I hate problems like this. They're so easy to fix in editing, but when they pile up they cause huge problems.

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GoF Chapter-Twenty-Six

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