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deathtocapslock2009-02-20 09:27 am
sistermagpie.livejournal.com) wrote in deathtocapslock2009-02-20 09:27 am
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HBP Chapter Thirty
*Because Dumbledore needs two entire chapters devoted to his mourning.
*ETA: Did I say two chapters? I meant the whole next book she be devoted to obsessing about him.
*People talk about Hogwarts being wish-fulfillment because the kids get to do magic in school, but I think the real appeal is the way these people drop any pretense of grades the minute something more exciting happens: Chamber of Secrets thing cleared up? Exams cancelled. You’ve entered a year-long extreme sports contest? No exams for you. Principal you see twice a year when he makes a speech dies? Lessons suspended and exams cancelled.
*ETA: Not that this is a bad thing. You learn everything you would ever need to know by having a true heart anyway. The rest is deus ex machina.
*Zacharias has a haughty-looking father. Hmm...this kid’s beginning to seem more and more Slytherin-lite, isn’t he? *hopes for Zacharias the Heir of Hufflepuff*
*ETA: Dashes hopes for Zacharias the Heir of Hufflepuff. Remember when it seemed like JKR had intentionally set up Harry to have to bring the Houses together by having him piss off people in every house? Turns out pissing off people in every house was just extra fun.
*ETA: Though Zacharias does join that shadow house of People in Other Houses Who Show Slytherin traits but not to the degree they were Sorted there: Zach, Peter, McClaggen, Marietta. These people all have a chance, and some of them actually make the best of it.
*Seamus finally almost makes up for his traitorousness in OotP by having a shouting match with his mother where Harry can see it. Almost. If he’d slapped her maybe all would be forgiven. But at least I don't have to worry quite so much about Seamus anymore.
*Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny are spending all their time together. As opposed to the way Harry usually socializes with people who aren’t Weasleys or Hermione.
*ETA: I love the way any time at all spent with Ginny is always told and not shown. Harry spent time with Ginny and it was awesome the way spending time with your awesome girlfriend that you're totally fated to love forever and you find incredibly attractive would be!
*The beautiful weather seemed to mock them. Only Harry can think something like this with a straight face—he has years of practice.
*ETA: LOL! The beautiful weather really seemed to mock them? Oh god, there is nothing to match the unflinching look at death portrayed in these books. Death just ruins everything!
*Harry’s putting off breaking up with Ginny, his best source of comfort. Just take our word for it. She’s like ibuprofen to his emotional menstrual cramps.
*They visited the hospital wing twice a day, since none of the people there were injured by Harry.
*ETA: And everybody there got better much quicker because Ginny's so compassionate. This is totally foreshadowing her gripping "comforting the firsties" moment in DH, the book in which she passes into the next phase of her female development: wife who keeps the homefires burning.
*Ginny comes to terms with Fleur’s marrying Bill in a way that shockingly avoids any kind of suggestion she deserved to be told off as much as her mother did.
*ETA: Clearly, she and Harry are totally soulmates.
*Harry makes a joke about Fleur’s being ugly and Ginny giggles. Harry’s best source of comfort is tiresome jokes about how jealous girls are of pretty girls.
*ETA: Well, at least that won't go away in DH. Ginny's jealousy is attractive because it's so totally unwarranted. Her beauty is much more wholesome than anyone else's.
*Hermione winces at the "forced toughness" in Ron’s voice when he asks if anyone else they knew died. Funny, I winced at the forced attempt to make it seem like there’s a war going on that anyone really cares about.
*ETA: Luckily next year everybody can worry about the war strictly by obsessing about Harry.
*Harry becomes angry every time the subject of Snape comes up. Really? Since when?
*ETA: Well, that phase will pass soon enough. Like over the summer. It joins important emotional things like "mourning for Sirius" in being really dark and realistic but not a plot point so it doesn't make it to the page.
*Not to be outdone by Ron’s fake forced toughness, Ginny announces she hasn’t been sleeping because...because she’s really very compassionate and affected by things. Really.
*Once Ginny leaves the Trio starts speaking plainly. That’s my greatest source of comfort.
*Ginny trips on the stairs on the way up to her dorm and dies.
*Apparently in the past Harry, when confronted with a mystery, has felt excited and curious with a burning desire to get to the bottom of the mystery. Who knew?
*The kind of excitement and curiosity you never want to waste on such pointless things as, say, the names of the other kids in your class for 7 years.
*ETA:Or, you know, working out exactly how you're going to kill this unbeatable Wizard you're apparently fated to kill.
*ETA:Or, looking ahead, searching for Horcruxes and how to destroy them. Harry, are you sure you're not thinking of Hermione when you remember this burning desire to get to the bottom of a mystery?
*Oh, all right. Ginny didn’t trip on the stairs to her dorm or die. She’s still alive tossing and turning on her perfumed sheets. *sulks*
*Harry knows he’s got to figure out about RAB to continue along the path he and Dumbledore started together. Again, props to Harry for making that connection, if not having the sense to complain about Dumbledore’s leaving him in a lurch because as usual he couldn’t bear to part with information until the most dramatic moment.
*ETA:Luckily Harry doesn't have to figure out about RAB so much as show up in his House and have RAB drop into his lap.
*Harry dreams of following Horcruxes with Dumbledore helpfully offering a rope ladder that turns into snakes when he touches it. On one level this is great because it suggests how irritating and unhelpful Dumbledore so often was. On another level it’s even better, because it suggests Dumbledore telling Harry’s he’s got to deal with snakes/Slytherins.
*ETA: Unfortunately at the most basic level it's just foreshadowing the Doubt in Dumbledore that goes nowhere in DH.
*Hermione’s been spending time in the library researching RAB. Oh yeah, cause Hermione’s always the one trying to solve every little mystery. Somehow forgot about that this year what with Malfoy’s secret plans and the unsolved murder attempts she couldn’t care less about.
*Snape’s birth was important enough to make it into the paper?
*The paper says Eileen Prince gave birth to...a murderer? demands Harry? Well, it doesn’t actually say murderer, but he is really ugly, which is a good indication he’s evil.
*ETA: Once Harry begins to doubt Dumbledore's total love of him he'll stop thinking of Snape as such a filthy murderer.
*Harry goes off on stupid Half-bloods who have to make up nicknames for themselves instead of having them showered on them by the world at large since birth, like son of Prongs did.
*And also Half-bloods that play down the Muggle side of their family. Unlike Harry who is always promoting his Muggle relatives.
*ETA:Him and Hermione. They would never modify the memories of their Muggle relatives and send to the other side of the world to get them out of the way.
*Harry can’t believe he was "taken in" by the HBP’s book. Oh yeah, the book really took you in, Harry. You should have recognized it was evil from the increasing nastiness of the spells. It’s right that you feel no guilt about using the nastiness of them yourself. The stuff didn’t actually appeal to you at all. You were just seduced by the persuasiveness of Snape’s handwriting when he wrote down the names.
*It’s girly handwriting, remember. Probably slutty girl handwriting. Evil temptress handwriting.
*ETA: Not that this means we can't go on using everything from the book next year, of course.
*So...why didn’t Snape turn Harry in? Hermione could be right saying he doesn’t want to be associated with it, but that doesn’t sound correct to me. Dumbledore knows perfectly well the kind of stuff Snape was up to as a kid. Is there stuff in the book he thinks Harry needs?
*ETA: Still not really sure why Snape didn't turn Harry in. Obviously he wouldn't expel him or anything (even if he could) but why didn't he out him as a big Potions fake?
*LOL! Harry should have shown Dumbledore the book because it wasn’t fair that he had extra help in class and besides there’s Dark Magic in it. Bwahahaha! Just kidding. He should have shown Dumbledore the book because it’s proof that Snape was evil at school. He was intelligent and creative, for goodness sakes!
*ETA: So, to review, cheating in class? Not anything that will ever have bad results at all. Especially if the class is necessary for your chosen career. Cheating your way through pre-med because you don't really grasp the material can totally lead to being the best Chief Surgeon of the whole country ever in history by the time you're 27. As long as you have confidence. And maybe the right bloodline. And your soul Sorts correctly, obviously.
*Note that the book is proof that Snape was evil when he was at school, but not Harry. Slutty handwriting, remember.
*Hermione explains she’s just trying to tell Harry he’s putting too much blame on himself. Wtf? Harry’s not putting any blame on himself. He’s blaming Snape.
*ETA: Funny how nobody ever suggests that Harry's giving himself too much credit to balance out all that blame he's always putting on himself.
*Sure the Prince was nasty, but how could Harry know he was a potential killer? It’s not like Harry became a potential killer using Snape’s book. Except that one time.
*Harry’s never been to a funeral before. There was no body for Sirius, and that’s why there was no funeral. Well, that clears that up. If there’s no body or a person is cremated you can’t possibly have any sort of memorial service. And you probably won't dwell on it.
*Typical of Snape’s life, while Dumbledore and Hagrid’s chairs are ominously empty, some Gryffindor plops his arse immediately in Snape’s seat.
*Percy’s still dead to his family—good to know.
*ETA: Oh, Percy. ::sighs::
*Crabbe and Goyle: hulking but lonely and muttering! *loves*
*ETA: Crabbe and Goyle: probably discussing Crabbe's plan to take over using really bad grammar. *loves less*
*Harry hasn’t spared much thought for Malfoy—since you almost killed him Harry, yes. We’ve noticed.
*But then, nobody spares much thought for Malfoy...until they are tripped up by...Señor Draco! *guitar riffs* He’s like the Spanish Inquisition, in a way.
*Honestly, you can see why the kid is so bunged up. What does he have to do to be seen as a recurring character important to the story here?
*ETA: Don't ask me. He'll be punished for all these attempts to get attention in the next book, that's for sure. Back behind your mother's skirts, young man!
*Actually, it seems Harry spares no thought for Malfoy since he can’t 100% hate him. Too scary and complicated. Better to think about Snape and the mockingly mild weather. You want a piece of me, goddamn fluffy white clouds?
*So to review, Harry’s not sparing much thought for Malfoy, except to wonder where he is and what threats Voldemort is making and what he’s being made to do. Actually one of the deepest thoughts Harry’s ever had about another person, coming shockingly close to empathy!
*ETA: Which turns out to be pretty much the point. Harry has now crossed over into feeling impersonally sorry for Malfoy from his lofty perch above.
*I’ll bet the Slytherins are all wearing some secret flower or something that indicates they’re really in mourning for Snape.
*ETA: On second thought, no they're not.
*The warmth of the sun caresses Harry’s face. Harry bitchslaps it.
*Tonks arrives with her hair back to pink—not because getting a man restores her powers, but because it would be inappropriate to appear at a funeral with non-attention-getting hair.
*ETA: As a wedding gift she's going to get Remus one of those electric dog collars that shocks him if he strays too far from the marriage bed. For his own good.
*Fred and George have taken to dressing like twin leather boys.
*The search continues for young Verity Shrinkydink, formerly shop assistant at Weasleys Wizard Wheezes, who disappeared last October, having been chopped up for ingredients in a special order the Twins are filling for a mysterious stranger.
*Harry feels a great rush of affection for Luna and Neville—right on schedule. A few days ago they risked their lives doing his bidding.
*Because they have no friends, btw.
*In their own chairs, Neville turns to Luna and asks if the sun just got warmer. She explains that’s merely the warm glow of Harry’s approval turned on them for a glorious moment.
*ETA: Then she steals some of Neville's urine and hair to mix into the paints or the Stalker Wall of Fame in her room.
*Neville, btw, needs to be helped into a seat. As a Gryffindor, his injuries heal slowly and dramatically. Unlike Slytherin injuries which disappear in a puff of smoke after you're done laughing at them.
*ETA: Also he's Neville, Gryffindor Mascot of Courage since Book I.
*Umbridge has the nerve to show up, but at least offers some entertainment by being terrified of a centaur. One more dramatic blow against prejudice!
*Hagrid’s crying quite silently for once, dripping tears all over Dumbledore’s body, which he’s carrying in his arms. I find this somewhat disturbing, probably because I’m picturing that wax dummy from the PoA movie.
*ETA: And probably the wax dummy from DH, I suppose.
*Apparently Dumbledore asked to be buried as he lived, as a fabulous almost-drag queen in purple velvet with gold stars.
*ETA: Did I say drag queen? Yes, I did. Lonely, celibate drag queen.
*Harry takes a moment to defend Hagrid’s incessant nose-blowing. We all know Dumbledore would love it, Harry. All Gryffindors respect snot.
*Oh my god, just end this damn funeral all ready.
*Grawp’s head is "bowed and docile, almost human." Well, it’s good to know he’s been properly broken into reverence for any and all Wizards, even those he’s never met. Those testicular clamps must have done the trick! Now he's almost human as opposed to a member of that primitive race that sounds an awful lot like colonial descriptions of "savages."
*Hagrid’s also made sure to expose him to the works of great giants dragged away from Giant Mountains to Wizarding country:
'TWAS mercy brought me from my Pagan land,
Taught my benighted soul to understand
That there's a Wizard World, that there's Hagrid too:
Once I redemption neither sought nor knew,
Some view our giant race with scornful eye,
"Their size is diabolic die--aye."
Remember, Wizards, Giants, big as Cain,
May be refin'd, and join th' angelic train.'
*Grawp’s actually taking notes on Wizard funerals for his anthropological study, of course.
*Harry keeps wanting to laugh because that’s the way it is at funerals for people you loved who were so funny and wonderful blah blah blah...dear god, just end. Dumbledore was no Chuckles the Clown.
*ETA: Laugh now, Harry. You'll find out soon enough that Dumbledore hung out with Grindelwald a hundred years ago even knowing that you totally would not have liked that if you had been born yet at that time!!!
*Harry realizes there was so much he never asked Dumbledore—there’s an understatement for you. Luckily with Dumbledore you at least know he wouldn’t have told you anything anyway.
*ETA: It's like Harry might as well be thinking, "There's so much I never asked Dumbledore. Clearly he was a brilliantly-written character whose backstory would add so much depth to what I think about him now. Perhaps I shall be lucky enough to learn more about this classic literary character for the ages in the next book, if I am lucky."
*Harry’s lays the "all alone, marked man" on thick to comfort himself.
*ETA: Next year he'll have the whole world to help him with that.
*When Draco sees Crabbe and Goyle again they’ll make him feel better about his own misery by telling him that at least he got to miss this funeral.
*Ginny and Harry share a moment, the kind Harry can only share with characters created to be reflections of himself.
*And then Harry breaks up with Ginny because Spiderman will always have enemies.
*Harry explains the past weeks have been like something out of someone else’s life…which is probably why scenes of the two of them connecting weren’t included in the book of his life.
*And also why every conversation we do get between Harry and Ginny sounds like discarded lines from some lame romantic comedy.
*Harry doesn’t want Voldemort to find out about Ginny. You don’t think he has a chart of Ginny’s love life in his office next to the Hogwarts school calendar? Please!
*ETA: We can see how right Harry was to do this in the next book when Voldemort begins totally hunting down all those people that Harry cares about. Or am I remembering that wrong and everybody's life goes on pretty much as normal?
*Ginny shocks us all by revealing she never stopped liking Harry. Wow, you mean you never really lowered your standards? Harry’s never really been rejected for some other boy? Unbelievable! I’m going to go tell Dean!
*Harry says Hermione’s a "smart girl" and laments that if he’d asked Ginny out sooner they could have had months or years maybe! The Harrys from PS through OotP burst out laughing at this along with me.
*PoA Harry briefly goes on strike, refusing to grow into a teenager who would say such a thing, and must be placated with a dramatic reading of the Sectumsempra chapter.
*ETA: He does have reason to worry about this, though. I mean, Harry was running out of time to recognize Ginny as his true love. What if he'd graduated high school before he realized it? He might have wound up alone forever.
*Ginny reveals that she likes Harry so much because she knows he can’t be happy unless he’s hunting Voldemort. That’s exactly what she liked about him when she first met him and he was 12 and sitting in her kitchen. That’s what set her apart from all the other celebrity whore girls.
*That’s the kind of girl I would want, personally. The kind who likes the way you’re not happy unless you’re risking your life fighting evil. I foresee some very bitter scenes between middle-aged Harry and Ginny.
*ETA: Ginny's totally wrong about Harry, of course. He doesn't like hunting Voldemort at all. He'll spend the next book sitting around with his thumb up his ass waiting for everyone else to do the work for him. He just likes to show up for the showy wand-waving and take all the credit.
*Harry walks away from Ginny. Instantly the entire crowd forgets Dumbledore’s dead and begins gossiping about how Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley broke up!
*Scrimgeor looks annoyed at Harry’s attitude. I would so love some pov scenes of the adults in the books complaining about having to deal with the Potter brat.
*ETA: Not that Scrimgeor matters at all. He'll die in the next book and all his machinations pretty much come to nothing.
*Scrimgeor knows enough to flatter Harry that he’s Dumbledore’s favorite ever pupil. Somewhere out there, Snape feels a surge of bitter annoyance and starts yelling at Draco for some minor thing.
*Scrimgeor doesn’t understand loyalty to Dumbledore. Well, yeah. He’s not in the cult.
*ETA: No wonder he had to die.
*The trio sits under a beech tree where they’ve sat in happier times. Actually, it seems like Harry only ever sits under beech trees during unhappy times, usually resenting the temperature.
*Ron offers to go hit Percy for what Scrimgeor did. Thank goodness someone has a plan!
*Harry announces he’s got to spend next year hunting Horcruxes. He might as well be saying he’s got to find Amelia Earhart, really, for all he seems prepared to even start.
*ETA: And he'll remain at just that level of preparedness for most of next year. I guess by Harry's standards, the fact that he's sitting under a tree with his friends telling them he's got to hunt Horcruxes means he's already hunting Horcruxes right now.
*If Harry meets Severus Snape along the way, so much the better for Harry and so much the worse for Snape. Now that he’s lulled Snape into a false sense of security by getting his arse whupped by him, Harry can spring his trap.
*For all the talk of Rowling's awesome Not!Chekov guns, she has this habit of sticking in lines like this that really do act more like those guns are supposed to act and then not firing them.
*Grawp is cuddling Hagrid, it seems. Though I hope he’s really got him in a headlock as part of the escape he’s planned for the funeral.
*Ron and Hermione will be coming to the Dursleys, since it’s not like Muggles have any say in whether Wizards stay in their house or not.
*I kind of hope Petunia makes Hermione feel really guilty about the way she treats her parents.
*ETA: Seriously, thank God we didn't get the scene many fans were imagining for DH where Hermione and Ron moved into the Dursleys and teased them for six chapters before the story proper got started.
*Harry had meant Ron and Hermione to understand he was taking this dangerous journey alone. Which I’m sure they get, Harry. It’s not like they’re not familiar with your "marked man" routine. It’s just they also know that you’re also pretty useless and if they don’t go with you you’ll wind up dead in a bar fight without getting near a single Horcrux.
*Harry is startled, having forgotten that anything so normal as a wedding could still exist—whew! He finally got to have that thought!
*ETA: Seriously, telling us every five minutes that Harry's life is so much more exciting and adventurous than any of this ordinary stuff doesn't really make us forget that Harry's life is mostly made up of ordinary stuff.
*Harry knows that the meeting with Voldemort must come, whether in a month or a year, or ten...or perhaps according to the schedule it has followed every year since he was eleven.
*ETA: LOL! Yes, exactly according to that schedule, so much so that it's kind of distracting.
The Borgnine Proviso
Oh, he’s there somewhere.
Box Picture
Photos of this funeral must look like the cover of Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band.
Designated Hero
I guess that’s what Ginny likes about Harry so much. That he’s the designated hero.
Also all the inferior races love Dumbledore. After all, look at all he's done for them.
Idiot World
Seriously? This kid’s all we’ve got?
Informed Attributes
Harry’s not only blaming himself too much for everything by blaming Snape, but a meeting between the two of them would somehow be worse for Snape.
Misdirected Answering
Oh no, don’t spare any thought for Malfoy and his dramatic situation. I need to know every single person at Dumbledore’s funeral and what they’re wearing.
Selling Wood
We could have had years!
"Watermelon, watermelon, cantaloupe, cantaloupe"
Watermelon, watermelon, could have had years, cantaloupe, cantaloupe
Final score: 8
H/D cliché count: Harry barely thinks of Malfoy, but it’s the best thought he has.
Slytherin liquid count: Gryffindors cry and get snotty by the lake.
no subject
Everything reflects on Harry! When Malfoy is happy to get a package from home, he's really just putting it on so Harry can see it and be jealous. Malfoy got on the Quidditch team to spite Harry. Umbridge fired Hagrid to get at Harry. There are dozens of examples showing how, although people appear to live independent lives, they really just act in accordance ot their view of TBWL. Why should the weather be any different?
*ETA: It's like Harry might as well be thinking, "There's so much I never asked Dumbledore. Clearly he was a brilliantly-written character whose backstory would add so much depth to what I think about him now. Perhaps I shall be lucky enough to learn more about this classic literary character for the ages in the next book, if I am lucky."
LOL! this really reminded me of a scene in Garth Marenghi's Darkplace (Marenghi is a fictional writer who stars in the medical horror show-within-a-show as a Marty Stu doctor) - a scene where Dr. Rick Dagless M.D. picks up a Marenghi horror novel and notes how he "misjudged the genre", and how he now realises Marenghi's books are great.
*ETA: Though Zacharias does join that shadow house of People in Other Houses Who Show Slytherin traits but not to the degree they were Sorted there: Zach, Peter, McClaggen, Marietta. These people all have a chance, and some of them actually make the best of it.
The main Slytherin trait appears to be "being a proper character", rather than a servant, fanboy, redshirt or yes-man.
*Hermione winces at the "forced toughness" in Ron’s voice when he asks if anyone else they knew died. Funny, I winced at the forced attempt to make it seem like there’s a war going on that anyone really cares about.
Isn't this a huge security risk? With DE children there, and the Minister? A simple Muggle bomb would provide an easy win. Voldy could push the button himself, so he could get rid of his weird obsession with killing Potter.
*It’s girly handwriting, remember. Probably slutty girl handwriting. Evil temptress handwriting.
I bet Harry saw "ornate" and "feminine", and downgraded these Slytherin traits to a derogatory "girly". Much better to scribble, like Hagrid.
*Harry feels a great rush of affection for Luna and Neville—right on schedule. A few days ago they risked their lives doing his bidding.
He doesn't care much about Neville in the next book, despite it being very obvious that he's a lot more useful than Ron. Then he turns up at the end, "Oh hi, Neville. I'll take over here. Hang up my cloak. And my pointy hat, if they still exist by this stage."
*Ron offers to go hit Percy for what Scrimgeor did. Thank goodness someone has a plan!
An idiotic plan. As if Percy has any control over what his boss does. As if it was a BAD idea for the Minister and Harry to coordinate their efforts.
no subject
The mere fact that it would be effective is a reason for LV not to do it. His weird obsession with killing Potter (or should I say "weird obsession with preventing other people from killing Potter) is the only thing that keeps him going.
I bet Harry saw "ornate" and "feminine", and downgraded these Slytherin traits to a derogatory "girly". Much better to scribble, like Hagrid.
And smudge the page with tears, don't forget.
An idiotic plan. As if Percy has any control over what his boss does. As if it was a BAD idea for the Minister and Harry to coordinate their efforts.
Of course it's a bad plan--the Ministry is trying to steal Harry's thunder and suggest the current war is about anybody other than Harry! What interest would the government possibly have in all this?
Part 1
I am not sure it would be worse than all those wedding preparations with Molly trying to prevent Harry from fulfilling his destiny by sending the Trio to separate rooms. Her behavior angered me on my first read.
*ETA: Remember when it seemed like JKR had intentionally set up Harry to have to bring the Houses together by having him piss off people in every house? Turns out pissing off people in every house was just extra fun.
I don't remember. Probably since Harry regularly pissed off people in every house, including his own since the second book, so it didn't stand out to me. I have always perceived it as extra demonstration how misunderstood and slandered our hero was.
*ETA: Still not really sure why Snape didn't turn Harry in. Obviously he wouldn't expel him or anything (even if he could) but why didn't he out him as a big Potions fake?
May be DD once hinted that Harry needed to be in Slughorn's good graces that year, and Snape decided to keep the matter between two of them (him and Harry)?
I think the real reason was that it isn't in Snape's character to go to another teacher and talk about a student cheating in his classes, especially when it is hardly the gravest thing Harry did. It's perfectly IC to punish the student himself, which he does. Remember when Fudge decided to have the full criminal trial in OoTF, instead of actually punishing Harry in less dramatic & extreme way? Snape turning to DD & Slughorn could have the same effect. Besides, when you turn to your colleague about a student cheating in his class, it seems to be implied that he decides on the punishment. If Snape let Slughorn decide that, Harry may have gotten 1 detention. Poor Snape, first his memories, then his book.
*Note that the book is proof that Snape was evil when he was at school, but not Harry. Slutty handwriting, remember.
No, you don't understand. It's perfectly natural to be curious about DA. However, good people don't dwell on it too much, let alone invent new ways to curse their enemies. They stop at passively absorbing bits of information, which come their way, and using it only when they're angry or the other person really deserves that. Which is the same.
*ETA: Don't ask me. He'll be punished for all these attempts to get attention in the next book, that's for sure. Back behind your mother's skirts, young man!
To be fair, Harry's life too passes behind DD's skirts. And Snape's.
Re: Part 1
That was incredibly silly considering she, along with the rest of the world, then cheerfully waits for the three of them to do pretty much everything to end the takeover of the country by themselves.
To be fair, Harry's life too passes behind DD's skirts. And Snape's.
LOL! It's true!
no subject
And Harry likes Ginny because she's the designated hero's designated girl. It's all very neat and clean and orderly they barely have to hold hands. Thanks, JKR!
I have very dim memories where I was interested in how Ginny was going to turn out, how she and Harry would relate to each other, etc. And I mean, genuinely interested and excited about the prospects. Little did I know it'd all be "designating" and very little "relating". (On the whole though? I'm kind of glad we never got to see any relating going on. I can imagine how it'd have gone and I don't think it'd have been pretty. *g*)
*The beautiful weather seemed to mock them. Only Harry can think something like this with a straight face—he has years of practice.
Kind of emo for a Gryffindor jock, don't you think? Somewhere there's a tube of glittery black eye-shadow with Harry's name all over it.
no subject
Part 2
I remembered reading an excellent fic, based on a somewhat similar idea. It's called
"Daddy's Favorite". http://www.fictionalley.org/authors/dzeytoun/DF.html
The description: "Severus Snape has long complained about Albus Dumbledore's favoritism toward Harry Potter. Usually his voice is alone. But is he the only one who feels that way, or is he just the only one who voices the opinion? Here is how several people view the relationship between Dumbledore and Harry in the wake of Harry's fifth year."
The fic has 17 chapters from different povs:
Professor Sprout - Professor McGonogall - Arthur Weasley – Snape (Chapter 04) - Professor Flitwick – Nymphadora - Moody –Draco (Chapter 08) – Lupin – Ron – Petunia – Umbridge - Percy Weasley – Sirius – Hermione (very nice chapter) – Dung – Bill Weasley
An excerpt from the fic:
Remember my last, Petunia.
The voice of an angry God. The voice telling me that life is short, and that vengeance may be waiting. The voice of wizard and father and conscience and scourge all combined in one.
And now the boy is back. He is back and I think that he is hurt even worse than before. I can see it in his expression. I can tell by the way his friends watched him as we walked away.
The Old Man will be waiting for me. He will be there when I dream. If not tonight, then soon. Soon he will come.
I lie in the darkness of my house and feel the seconds slipping away. Each tick of the clock, each breath brings me closer to the Old Man.
Brings me closer to death.
Brings me closer to Lily.
Brings me closer to Daddy.
Brings me closer to Hell.
Re: Part 2
Re: Part 2
And so we reach the end of the Half-Blood Prince.
Just gotta say this, though-
"He’s like the Spanish Inquisition, in a way."
Is that because nobody suspects him? Go Senor Draco!
In Mourning -- Part One
I'm in mourning. In mourning because this is the last chapter of sporking. Please, please tell us that you'll do the final book!
*ETA: I love the way any time at all spent with Ginny is always told and not shown. Harry spent time with Ginny and it was awesome the way spending time with your awesome girlfriend that you're totally fated to love forever and you find incredibly attractive would be!
Count your blessings. Every interaction we do see between them is lame (Hippogriff tattoo, anyone?). This way we get to have more of those awesome Harry/Dumbledore scenes!
*ETA: Well, at least that won't go away in DH. Ginny's jealousy is attractive because it's so totally unwarranted. Her beauty is much more wholesome than anyone else's.
I get the feeling that JKR just plain doesn't like romantic love. Harry's ideal girl is scary jealous, while capable of playing at being totally interested in other boys for years in order to attract him. (Geez, if you think of Ginny as another Lily, Lily's "friendship" with Snape takes on a whole new, nasty meaning, doesn't it?)
Then we have Tonks, who is clingy and emotionally manipulative. Hermione, whose idea of foreplay is to emasculate the love of her life. Merope, who, as we recall, used date-rape drugs on her object of desire. And Fleur, who only takes a job in order to spent time with a random cute guy, and then stops working as soon as he pops the question.
The only mutually supportive romantic relationships in these books are the ones we never see. Like Neville and Hannah Abbott, Luna and Newt Scamander, Percy and Penelope, and Draco and Astoria.
*Hermione’s been spending time in the library researching RAB. Oh yeah, cause Hermione’s always the one trying to solve every little mystery. Somehow forgot about that this year what with Malfoy’s secret plans and the unsolved murder attempts she couldn’t care less about.
Which reminds me that there's a very easy way to find out who R.A.B. is. Remember that book at Hogwarts that writes down the name of every single magical person born in England? Why not read through that list for the last, say, forty to seventy years? That probably wouldn't take more than a couple hours.
*Snape’s birth was important enough to make it into the paper?
I have to say that The Daily Prophet does sound like a village circular here. In addition to birth, marriage, and death announcements for the entire wizarding world, it lets you know about that Diggory Gardener grew a marrow this year that looks amazingly like Queen Victoria!
*Harry can’t believe he was "taken in" by the HBP’s book. Oh yeah, the book really took you in, Harry. You should have recognized it was evil from the increasing nastiness of the spells. It’s right that you feel no guilt about using the nastiness of them yourself. The stuff didn’t actually appeal to you at all. You were just seduced by the persuasiveness of Snape’s handwriting when he wrote down the names.
It's a metaphor for the entire series. Like Harry, we were taken in by books that were clever and inventive. Then, they are got darker and darker, until we were laughing at facial disfigurement and rape-by-centaur, and joining in with contempt for women who starve to death. Not to mention enjoying the torment of non-magical folk by wizards.
Re: In Mourning -- Part One
Waaaaaaaagh! I never thought of that - but seeing as everyone meets his/her true love at eleven, of course Lily fell in love with James on that first train ride to Hogwarts. So your scenario seems right - I mean, she had to pry him lose from Sirius' clutches!
Word on your assessment of women and their romantic strategies in these books.
Re: In Mourning -- Part One
Assaylva: Waaaaaaaagh! I never thought of that - but seeing as everyone meets his/her true love at eleven, of course Lily fell in love with James on that first train ride to Hogwarts. So your scenario seems right - I mean, she had to pry him lose from Sirius' clutches!
I've been trying to figure out what to add and can't. This about sums it up.
Re: In Mourning -- Part One
I am trying to work up to it. We'll see if I can!
Which reminds me that there's a very easy way to find out who R.A.B. is. Remember that book at Hogwarts that writes down the name of every single magical person born in England? Why not read through that list for the last, say, forty to seventy years? That probably wouldn't take more than a couple hours.
And being that they're magic, surely they can do this more easily than you could do it with a computer, so they can just look for the B's.
Re: In Mourning -- Part One
But seriously, if the Trio'd had any sense, they would have been communicating with Ginny, Neville, and co. all year. In addition to trying to steal the Sword of Gryffindor, they would have peeked at that book.
In Mourning -- Part Two
See... Snape did turn Harry in. According to the book, he went and complained in the teacher lounge, and McGonagall yelled at Harry for fifteen minutes. For nearly killing another student. I guess in that situation, the fact that Harry was cheating in Potions paled in significance. And, without the book, Snape couldn't really prove that Harry was cheating. Nor did he probably care. (After all, Harry was really cheating himself there.)
Frankly, I think Harry and Hermione are just tripping here.
*ETA: Funny how nobody ever suggests that Harry's giving himself too much credit to balance out all that blame he's always putting on himself.
Except Snape. Bless his evil little heart. :-)
*Harry’s never been to a funeral before. There was no body for Sirius, and that’s why there was no funeral. Well, that clears that up. If there’s no body or a person is cremated you can’t possibly have any sort of memorial service. And you probably won't dwell on it.
I remember having a discussion about this on SQ. Someone suggested that the Order of the Phoenix probably had a quiet drink to Sirius at their next meeting after Sirius died, and I said they should have had an actual memorial, if only so that his godson could get some closure. It was amusing to see how people tried to defend the Order. One poster argued that it would have hurt Harry to hold a memorial for Sirius--it would have delayed his emotional healing by reminding him that his godfather was dead.
*So to review, Harry’s not sparing much thought for Malfoy, except to wonder where he is and what threats Voldemort is making and what he’s being made to do. Actually one of the deepest thoughts Harry’s ever had about another person, coming shockingly close to empathy!
This reminds me of the brilliantly strange Kids in the Hall sketches of Hotel La Rut:
Part 1 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0p4LcL8fC6A&feature=PlayList&p=DE03BBBFE162263A&index=3)
Part 2 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vq300dGXXyQ&feature=PlayList&p=DE03BBBFE162263A&index=2)
*Neville, btw, needs to be helped into a seat. As a Gryffindor, his injuries heal slowly and dramatically. Unlike Slytherin injuries which disappear in a puff of smoke after you're done laughing at them.
Heh. I thought he was being helped to his seat because he's just that pathetic.
*Hagrid’s crying quite silently for once, dripping tears all over Dumbledore’s body, which he’s carrying in his arms. I find this somewhat disturbing, probably because I’m picturing that wax dummy from the PoA movie.
I'm not remembering the wax dummy?
*ETA: Laugh now, Harry. You'll find out soon enough that Dumbledore hung out with Grindelwald a hundred years ago even knowing that you totally would not have liked that if you had been born yet at that time!!!
You know, the whole Grindelwald story evokes pity in me, more than another other emotion. It doesn't seem so much like a character fault as one of those sad stories you hear about people leaving their guns out and having a child use it to kill themselves. And Harry seemed nearly as upset about Dumbledore neglecting to mention that he lived for a few years in the same town as Harry's parents lived... for a few years several decades later.
*And also why every conversation we do get between Harry and Ginny sounds like discarded lines from some lame romantic comedy.
See? See? See how we dodged the bullet with the "tell-don't-show" policy towards H/G?
*ETA: We can see how right Harry was to do this in the next book when Voldemort begins totally hunting down all those people that Harry cares about. Or am I remembering that wrong and everybody's life goes on pretty much as normal?
Yeah. I can't figure out how Voldemort figured that Harry would do anything to save his godfather and totally misses the idea that he might be concerned about his girlfriend.
And breaking up at the funeral? Like anyone is going to notice that and not the "weeks" Harry and Ginny spent totally making out all over Hogwarts?
Re: In Mourning -- Part Two
But Voldy did! He just got confused as to the object of Harry's desire. That's why he lay in wait at Malfoy Manor, hoping for Harry to come and rescue the pretty blond boy he stalked all of last school year!
Re: In Mourning -- Part Two
Re: In Mourning -- Part Two
Probably overdramatizing for fun.
it would have delayed his emotional healing by reminding him that his godfather was dead.
And they were right. Look how fast he forgot without that pesky memorial service. Dumbledore got one and Harry spends the next 12 months obsessing over him and gives his kid a stupid name.
I'm not remembering the wax dummy?
Be sure to check out Slink's lovely wax dummy wallpaper.
It doesn't seem so much like a character fault as one of those sad stories you hear about people leaving their guns out and having a child use it to kill themselves. And Harry seemed nearly as upset about Dumbledore neglecting to mention that he lived for a few years in the same town as Harry's parents lived... for a few years several decades later.
I just realized Harry even neglects to defend Dumbledore's friendship by comparing it to him and the HBP. But I guess he can't because that would mean he'd have to remember how he used to hate Snape in DH.
Kids in the Hall! Awesome! *runs to watch*
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Just for you, I have made a touching wallpaper of what I think this scene would be like. You must of course credit if you ever use it anywhere, even your own desktop, since my Art took a long time and a lot of talent. http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b24/slinkhard/tragicfuneral.jpg
The beautiful weather seemed to mock them. Only Harry can think something like this with a straight face—he has years of practice.
I seem to remember some line from OotP about how the bad weather was just a reflection of Harry’s inner emo. It's almost like Harry thinks the world revolves around him!
Hermione winces at the "forced toughness" in Ron’s voice when he asks if anyone else they knew died. Funny, I winced at the forced attempt to make it seem like there’s a war going on that anyone really cares about.
It felt more like one in OotP, before it even began. That might have been the rabid paranoia and viciousness, though.
Also notice Harry and Ginny don’t have to fake their toughness – it’s the real thing!
PoA Harry briefly goes on strike
You know, I’ve never quite gotten all the ‘POA THE BEZT OMG!1!!’ hoopla, but recalling Ginny’s role in that book, maybe I should reconsider.
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It's almost like Harry thinks the world revolves around him!
It's almost like everyone thinks the world revolves around him!
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***It does. Ask JKR.
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Zacharias has a haughty-looking father.
Again, we only can admire the brave stand against blood prejudice in these books.
Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny are spending all their time together.
I think you missed the real message here. It's the first time since Harry's first year that the trio opens to an intruder. And at the same time, we get a glimpse into the (incestuous) future.
I love the way any time at all spent with Ginny is always told and not shown.
There are shades of darkness not even the unflinching author was willing to face...
Harry makes a joke about Fleur’s being ugly and Ginny giggles.
And we get to know the ingredients for a happy relationship: jealousy, violence (towards others)and lies. Where can I take my celibacy vows?
Once Ginny leaves the Trio starts speaking plainly. That’s my greatest source of comfort.
Still can't believe this was not a setup for anything. Like showing how Harry didn't consider her as truely his equal, causing her to defy him with flaming hair or something. Or her falling into a trap because they didn't tell her something. Or anything!!!!
Silly me - I should have seen much earlier that Rowling's ideas about relationships come straight from Agatha Christie, where a happy couple always consists of mother-son or father-daughter surrogates. So here, clearly, Harry is the father who talks to the other grown-ups as soon as little Ginny is in bed with her teddy bear.
OMG, totally forgot about Harry's dream about Dumbledore and the snake ladder. At the time, I thought it was an interesting image and I still do - but what the hell did she intend to do with it? Unless proving that Harry is totally incapable of dreaming without inserting Slytherins SOMEWHERE in the dream (do we ever get a dream without Snape, Draco or Tom in it???).
So to review, Harry’s not sparing much thought for Malfoy, except to wonder where he is and what threats Voldemort is making and what he’s being made to do. Actually one of the deepest thoughts Harry’s ever had about another person, coming shockingly close to empathy!
Compare this to Harry's thoughts concerning Ginny in DH. Where is her dot? Where is her dot? Where is...
Harry says Hermione’s a "smart girl"
... and thereby basically says he'd never been interested in Ginny if not for the feeling that someone else got a cookie which he didn't. Soulmates, you see. Not basic possessive instinct.
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When you consider how clearly it works on a micro level you think the whole blood prejudice thing might really have a point.
Still can't believe this was not a setup for anything. Like showing how Harry didn't consider her as truely his equal, causing her to defy him with flaming hair or something.
It sets up that Ginny's job is to keep the home fires burning during the Great War. As symbolized by the flaming hair.
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Alas, earwax.
Harry barely thinks of Malfoy, but it’s the best thought he has.
The issue, in a nutshell.
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Part One
- Typical – Harry breaks up with Ginny just in time for her transformation into a far less abrasive character. After making us suffer through her complete and utter hideousness for two books. I wish he’d fallen for Romilda Vane – at least we could hate her in peace without JKR demanding that we adore her.
- Also, when he chucked her, I wish she’d thrown the mother of a spoilt, youngest, only girl amongst seven children, tantrum that we all know she was the master of. Just imagine her screaming through the sermon, bitch slapping Harry and throwing him on the tomb. Drop-kicking Fawkes when he flew to help (why did you leave my brother to be scarred and in agony, you b*stard bird?). Umbridge and Scrimgeour pointing and laughing at them and Rita Skeeter frantically making notes for her latest article – marvellous!
But we needed the attention on Dumbledore for once (eye-roll).
- “The beautiful weather seemed to mock them.”
I’m going to blame JKR for this, rather than Harry. Her bad writing (it started off average, then got worse) remains with us – like a presence.
- “Ginny trips on the stairs on the way up to her dorm and dies”
You Meany! I haven’t read this since forever and for one brief, shining moment, I hoped that I’d just forgotten this one massive beautiful sub plot! But no, it’s only the author who didn’t remember vastly important things from one book to the next. Damn.
- “Apparently in the past Harry, when confronted with a mystery, has felt excited and curious with a burning desire to get to the bottom of the mystery.”
Mwah! One thing you forgot to list was his burning desire to take advantage of his Occlumency lessons in order to keep his greatest enemy (Voldemort) from penetrating his final line of defence - his mind. Or indeed to keep out the man he occasionally hated even more, and never trusted until he’d bled to death in front of him - Snape.
- And don’t forget his fierce *need* to learn from his mistake after leading Sirius to his death. Firstly he practiced Occlumency throughout Book 6 with never a break, to ensure such a tragedy never happened again. After all, it’s not as if Voldemort would simply forget about this ability, and the connection would only be one way in Book 7!
- Secondly, he immediately re-instated the now legal Dumbledore’s Army, with frequent guest lecturers such as McGonagall, Flitwick (the master dueller) and Remus. The pupils learnt so much from this club, run and cherished by this now fully fledged hero. If he hadn’t done that, they’d have had to depend on Neville – and how *ridiculous* would that have been!
There are no flies on The Boy who Lived. (Regretfully, as that would have indicated that his ridiculous luck had at last run out and he was rotting in the Great Hall with the anonymous fallen.)
Re: Part One
It's hard for me to not think it's the latter. Seamus' mother was REALLY out of line in OotP, remember.
I’m going to blame JKR for this, rather than Harry. Her bad writing (it started off average, then got worse) remains with us – like a presence.
ROTFL!!
One thing you forgot to list was his burning desire to take advantage of his Occlumency lessons in order to keep his greatest enemy (Voldemort) from penetrating his final line of defence - his mind. Or indeed to keep out the man he occasionally hated even more, and never trusted until he’d bled to death in front of him - Snape.
LOL! Oh god, the things Harry has no interest in could fill a book.
Re: Part One
Please don't let JKR write it!
Re: Part One
Re: Part One
Part Two
Word. In fact, not only word, but she didn’t actually solve it! JKR mangling a character in order to suit her feeble plot – or am I just being paranoid. The saddest thing is that she could have stayed true to the original characters and had a far better story as well. She settled for the worst of both worlds. Silly Mare.
- “Harry realizes there was so much he never asked Dumbledore”
He’s *just* realized? Jeez....
- “Unlike Harry who is always promoting his Muggle relatives.”
I don’t blame Harry for not bigging up his Muggle kin. He probably knew nothing about them, what could he say. He wasn’t a bigot either – how much investigation into the Potter line did he ever do? A certain lack of curiosity was probably unavoidable for the sake of the plot, but he was an amoeba! I always thought the Muggle line had to stay off-limits because of the ‘big reveal’ about the Evans that would come out when he had the inevitable showdown with Aunt Petunia. Ho! (As in laughter, I’m not calling her a Ho.) And of course, we couldn’t hear too much about the Potters until we found out that James was a half-blood, not a pure-blood like we believed. Then when the part of Voldemort’s soul was destroyed in Book 7 it would turn out that Harry’s magical abilities were because of that piece of soul and he was, in fact, a squib! The story would end with Harry leaving for the Muggle world forever to avoid revenge attacks by DE. Ginny would refuse to live as a Muggle for love of Harry and would marry the obnoxious, but wealthy Zaccharias and I’d laugh my socks off. However JKR had a far more exciting storyline in store for us.
- “Harry doesn’t want Voldemort to find out about Ginny.”
Because of course, Snape, the Master Spy, would never have noticed. We know he’d have kept quiet, but Harry doesn’t. Plus, just say Voldemort *did* want to strike at Harry through the ones he loved , surely Draco, anxious to save his skin, would share that information? Remember it was the talk of the school for those few perfect weeks? (Excuse me while I vomit.)
- I suppose it’d be difficult to have a large funeral for Sirius, the escaped convict and mass-murderer, but perhaps a few words for the Order in the Drawing Room at Grimmauld Place? To save time she could just tell us instead of showing us (snort). Or perhaps Harry could have just fondly thought of him a lot, especially at the beginning of the year.
- “I foresee some very bitter scenes between middle-aged Harry and Ginny.”
I don’t – because he’ll be dead before he’s 21. Don’t listen to JKR’s lies. He has neither the talent nor the temperament for being an Auror, especially as every baddie from here to Sidney will want to be seen to take out the man who stood nearby as Voldemort accidently (and rather foolishly) killed himself.
- “Seriously, thank God we didn't get the scene many fans were imagining for DH where Hermione and Ron moved into the Dursleys and teased them for six chapters before the story proper got started.”
The story proper? Is that some sort of joke? At least Petunia could have revealed some exciting and vital info. Or Dudley could have turned out to be magic, or Vernon could have been murdered. Better than that TENT!
Re: Part Two
What's hilarious is the mystery didn't even need to be solved. We start with Draco basically announcing that he's the culprit. It's not like Harry puts anything like 2 and 2 together. He doesn't figure out what Draco's actually supposed to do.
Plus, just say Voldemort *did* want to strike at Harry through the ones he loved , surely Draco, anxious to save his skin, would share that information?
I know--the guy's living with the two most Harry-obsessed people in the school. There's not enough Occlumency in the world to keep LV from finding out lots of Harry dirt.
I don’t – because he’ll be dead before he’s 21. Don’t listen to JKR’s lies. He has neither the talent nor the temperament for being an Auror, especially as every baddie from here to Sidney will want to be seen to take out the man who stood nearby as Voldemort accidently (and rather foolishly) killed himself.
LOL! Ginny would re-animate the corpse so she could still be the wife of the Chosen One, I guess. He'd be said to retire and then people would only see him in parades.
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***The Prophet is the local paper for a population of about 3000. Every birth, christening, wedding and death/funeral will be mentioned. It's just not important to Harry. He only reads the headlines on the first page. (Proof that there are no comics in The Prophet?)
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The Dark Lord is pleased to announce the creation of a new Horcrux. This is Lord Voldemort's fourth soul bit, previous ones having been created with a ring, a diary, and the Heir of Hufflepuff's Cup. This also marks the record for number of Horcruxes created by a single wizard. The previous record was three, and was, of course, held by Lord Voldemort.
The Horcrux is available for viewing every second Thursday from 7:00 p.m. to Midnight in a hidden cave off the coast. Admission is one-half ounce blood. Refreshments available.
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LOL! Finally something good comes out of that storyline!
Could you imagine Harry being forced to do one of these quests on his own? He wouldn't even have a tent to sit in. Sure, he'd leave the Dursleys', because we proved in PoA he could get that far, but once he got into the WW, he'd probably sit in Hogsmeade the whole time, wondering where the first Horcrux was. Then Neville would come through the picture and tell him, "Sorry, Harry. The war's over. Me and a couple Gryffindors got bored so we tracked down Voldemort and punched him in the face."
Even more LOL!
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And is immediately reincarnated as Ginny DH-VII complete with recipe chip and householdie-spells upgrade.
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LOL!! I like to think Grawp's secretly thinking something along the lines of, "I gave up Giant College for this?"