HBP Chapter Eight

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

*It says a lot about how crap Snape’s life is that the chapter where he’s "victorious" refers to the one where we learn he’s going to be at the same job, teaching the same kids, but in a different classroom.

*Harry has never hated Malfoy more than he hated him as he lay there like a turtle. Harry Potter: Sith Lord in Training.

*Though I do love that he hates Malfoy the most now because he knows he (Harry) did something a stupid, and that Malfoy is probably telling everyone in Slytherin, to great laughter. Unfortunately the only other person in the school who would understand exactly how Harry’s feeling right now is, well, Malfoy.

*Harry remembers some wizards can perform spells without speaking—thus the first mention of wordless magic. (Which Harry seems to think is a super special skill only some wizards as great as Dumbledore have.) The book starts with Harry seeing exactly how important this skill can be, but as soon as Snape starts teaching it he’ll have good reason to not want to study it.

*Not that he really needs anyone to teach it, since he’s instinctually doing just what Snape says to do right here anyway.

*Hee! No panicked voices asking where Harry Potter has gone! Malfoy would be wetting himself with joy if he knew what Harry was thinking.

*Harry’s broken nose has no affect on his ability to speak. Unlike Neville Longbottom, who broke his nose and talked like a cartoon character for the rest of the chapter. Just another way we know who the Chosen One is.

*This is also scene two of Tonks, the mousy-haired Red Herring. You know, I’m not bothered by this storyline in terms of what it says about Tonks. She’s a Black; they’re very overdramatic. But that is what she’s being. It’s a straightforward mystery and the solution is Remus Lupin. She’s actually not also suffering from chronic depression, survivor’s guilt, PTSD and whatever other trauma warnings one might see in fanfics.

*Tonks sends her Patronus, also without speaking. Harry fails to note that this seems to be an ordinary ability of adult wizards.

*I’m not even going to try to figure out just how this is supposed to be better than e-mail or cell phones.

*Remember how Harry wished people would worry and ask where Harry Potter was? They would. Phew! Also, he really should have been Prefect.

*Harry reminds us of Tonks’ former personality so that we get she’s acting differently. Was she particularly inquisitive before? I remember the annoying part, but for me it was more about the awkward demonstrations of personality quirks rather than inquisitiveness.

*Perhaps Tonks is no longer inquisitive because Ginny kept hexing her for asking too many questions.

*Harry doesn’t blame Tonks for Sirius’ death. It wasn’t her fault any more than anyone else’s, and far less than his. At least for the next few minutes. And then…

*Enter Severus Snape: Blame Magnet!

*Harry can’t open the gates because Dumbledore’s bewitched them himself. Am I sensing a “Dumbledore is so marvelous he’s head and shoulders above all over wizards” theme in this book to lead up to the end? Like even gates won’t lock without his personal supervision?

*Snape’s “Potter is quite – ah – safe in my hands” is a nice echo of PS/SS. He hates you, but he never wanted you dead.

*Tonks meant Hagrid to get the message. Best. Form of communication. Ever. What spy wouldn’t want to send messages via a big glowing animal easily recognizable as belonging to him or her that random people can see and intercept?

*Snape criticizes Tonks’ Patronus. Snape can be a real bitch.:-)

*Not that Snape’s lying. If there’s one person who knows exactly how Lupin can be weak, it’s Snape.

*What a surprise. Harry has decided Snape’s snide remarks about Sirius not leaving the house were a powerful factor in his leaving the house. Fred Weasleys’ remarks on the same subject rolled right off his back, though, I’m sure.

*Kinda says a lot about Harry and Sirius’ relationship, though, that Harry’s got no trouble taking that sort of attitude about Sirius. You know Sirius doesn’t think and has an adolescent need to do risky things, Severus! What were you thinking?

*Snape mentions a house has never had negative points this early in the term. Personally, I’m more impressed with the way Harry can always manage to have developed a raging hate for one or more people before he even gets to school each year. Are we sure this isn’t the Power the Dark Lord Knows Not?

*It makes me giggle when Snape says pudding.

*The hatred, which first Harry thought was generating off him in waves, now goes blazing hot. From his pov. To an outsider Harry probably just looks like a regular teenager scowling very fiercely.

*Again—Harry’s great power? He’s got this great capacity for love. Being a seething cauldron of hate is just a side effect.

*Yes, Snape has come to get Harry just because he can’t stand to miss a few minutes of needling and tormenting. You know Snape, when Draco Malfoy starts to look cool by comparison you really might want to consider therapy.

*Hermione says they’ve been terrified by Harry’s disappearance. Not “leave the table and do something” terrified, more like “whisper worriedly over your pudding” terrified.

*Hee hee. Snape said pudding.

* Harry knows Draco’s habit of spreading gossip, but knows this might still mean Gryffindors wouldn’t hear it. It’s like Gryffindor and Slytherin each live in their own separate bubbles, sometimes including Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff when they want to spread their own info, but not receiving stuff from the enemy house through them. BTW, the hat’s still on about uniting all four…

*Harry says Hagrid’s never managed to comport himself with the dignity of Professor McGonagall, which is Harry’s nice way of reminding us Hagrid’s never managed to comport himself with dignity, period.

*Poor Trelawney’s at the feast this year obviously desperately insecure about her place at the school.

*What Harry would not give to fight Malfoy one on one. Wait, he just did that. What he wouldn’t give to fight him in a proper one-on-one with his friends outnumbering the Slytherins.

*Oh alright, I get it. It’s foreshadowing for their later duel where Harry uses Sectumsempra and gets exactly what he wished for out of it.

*Dumbledore stands and everyone shuts up. He opens his arms as if to embrace the whole room, which is I’m sure what he was hoping to convey when he practiced the gesture in front of the mirror in his room. I’ll bet the Slytherins all feel like they just got a great big hug!

*Hermione notices Dumbledore’s hand, something Harry never mentioned in the weeks they’ve been hanging out together. Well come on, why would he mention a beloved friend appears to be losing a limb? Harry figured it’d be cured by now or something. Jeez, who’s the Chosen One here? Harry’s got hands too, you know!

*Harry’s all upset about Snape teaching DADA—how could he be given it after all this time? I think the real question is: what is that your business?

*How much do I love Snape’s lazy hand wave and the Slytherin clapping. The two faces of Snape.

*Hermione is one of the craziest studies in human nature in fiction. She’s all “shocked and reproachful” when Harry says the DADA position is jinxed and everyone leaves after a year, and he’s hoping for another death. Meanwhile she’s like a prodigy of ruthless efficiency when it comes to judging and punishing the masses. I believe this psychological principle at work here is called “doubling,” the division of the self into two functioning wholes, so that a part-self acts as an entire self.”

*DD starts talking about Voldemort. Harry looks over to see Malfoy staring at a spoon he’s got hovering in the air. Readers longingly wonder what it would be like to be in Malfoy’s head during this book.

*Still, it looks like Draco’s improved on those levitation charms. He’s not going to drop any wine glasses this year, dammit!

*Dumbledore announces how dangerous everything is, advises everyone to report any unattended luggage (if you see something, say something!) etc., and says they have to guard against carelessness of any student or staff member. McGonagall is no doubt mouthing THAT MEANS YOU, LONGBOTTOM to Neville from her seat.

*Dumbledore then says their beds await and pip pip. How will we ever go on without this guy?

*Hermione darts ahead to fulfill her duty as shepherd of first years. Why do I picture Hermione nagging and generally making the first year trip to the tower more difficult instead of less?

*It was a mark of the strength of Ron’s friendship that he does not laugh to hear Harry had his nose stepped on and broken. Do you think that’s a sign that we’re not supposed to think Malfoy’s train stomp was a mark of great evil that might have killed Harry? Nah. Ron’s a future wife abuser, innit? (I have no idea if I’m using that last word correctly, but it seemed to fit.)

*Harry thinks it must be pure pigheadedness that Ron doesn’t react to the stuff Harry overheard Malfoy say on the train. You know, finding out that his friends are all subject to the whims of a plot would probably be a great relief to Harry at this point because otherwise it kind of does seem like pure pigheadedness.

*Ron also says Draco was just showing off for Parkinson, which seems to suggest that Ron, unlike Harry, probably pays attention to the interactions of other students.

*Harry says Voldemort’s name, and when Hagrid rebukes him he says Dumbledore says it too. “Well, that’s Dumbledore, innit?” says Hagrid. Yup, there goes another anvil of how Superior and Necessary Dumbledore Is To Us In These Dark Times, and How We Must Never Try To Reach His Level.

*Also Hagrid’s record as second string Harry Security goes unbroken. Tonks is sending messages to him to come open the gate, but he’s off with his retarded subplot of a brother.

*Hagrid says he was late because he and his brother were having a nice chat. Which probably meant that Hagrid rambled on while Grawp nodded and privately wished he’d get the hell out of his cave so he could get back to work on his Anthropological study, written entirely in Giantish: In The Shadow Of Giants by Dr. Grawp Gungabimu, Ph.D. Chapter One: When I allowed myself to be taken by my half-wizard brother in the interest of science, I had no idea how primitive the smaller primate brain would reveal itself to be. That he has been given a position as teacher to children further illustrates the inability of the smaller brain to make proper survival choices….

*None of the Trio is taking CoMC. They can’t imagine what Hagrid will say when he finds out his three favorite students aren’t taking his class. They can, at least, imagine what he won’t say, which is anything about his own skills as a teacher.

*Ironically Grawp is a tenured and highly-respected Professor at Giantbridge U. and the author of the pamphlet: “How To Teach a Fun and Interesting Care of Magical Creatures Class Without Endangering Minors.” Dumbledore greatly exaggerated his fluency in Giantish.



Foley Work
Poor Harry lying on the floor listening to the exaggerated Foley footsteps on the train.

Informed Attributes
Harry must save the Wizarding World with his Super Loving Nature! Which he’ll do as soon as he can leave this gloomy Tonks chick behind. Jeez, if you’re not going to entertain me would you shove off, please?

"Watermelon, watermelon, cantaloupe, cantaloupe"
Watermelon watermelon. Snape’s the new DADA teacher? Cantaloupe cantaloupe. Snape’s the new DADA teacher!

Final score: 3

Comments

[anehan]

Eh, don't flay me, but I'm kind of getting bored with Snape. There are only so many times before Snape's needling and Harry's scowling becomes old.

Harry says Voldemort’s name, and when Hagrid rebukes him he says Dumbledore says it too. “Well, that’s Dumbledore, innit?” says Hagrid.

The whole "don't name him" thing leaves me sratching my head, especially as we get it from Snape as well, and Snape doesn't strike me as a superstitious type. Have we ever seen naming having any special powers in HP? Perhaps it's another thing we'll find out in book 7, tentatively titled Harry Potter and the Oh Hell, No Way Is It Possible to Resolve All the Subplots in One Volume, Damn.

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Eh, don't flay me, but I'm kind of getting bored with Snape. There are only so many times before Snape's needling and Harry's scowling becomes old.

Snape's like the anti-Hagrid. By the sixth book with both of them it's kinda, "Um...I've grown six years. You are still at the mental age of 11 you were when we met. Awkward."

[mizbean.livejournal.com]

The whole "don't name him" thing leaves me scratching my head.

Me too. Especially when Hermione says You Know Who because she's the last person I'd call superstitious with all her books and cleverness and anti-Trelawney-ness. Besides, she's Muggle-born, and I would think most Muggle-borns would roll their eyes at the whole He Who Should Not Be Named business anyway.

Now, Ron, I could see being superstitious.

[(Anonymous)]

I'd live it if there was some Candyman element to it and that saying his name did cause bad mojo.

Just so I could laugh at DD.

Poor old DD - it's no fun being the exposition-spouting, deux-et-machina guy. The reader sits there thinking: why are you so dumb? Or on really bad days: why are you so badly written?

[mmoa.livejournal.com]

You know, I actually skip the bits in the book with Snape. It's a horrible cross between a generally pathetic (which I'd be able to deal with) character and lazy characterisation (which I'm tired of).

[jollityfarm.livejournal.com]

we learn he’s going to be at the same job, teaching the same kids, but in a different classroom.

:( I sort of feel pleased he gets a change of scenery at the end of the book, now. This will probably eventually come with a change of heart and breathing rate (much, much lower) at the end of book seven, but I just treasure the brief euphoria he must feel to be fleeing free, free, FREE from all those tiresome little shits. Well, except Draco, but one's better than thirty-five, especially if he's Draco :)

She’s actually not also suffering from chronic depression, survivor’s guilt, PTSD and whatever other trauma warnings one might see in fanfics.

And thusly everyone apart from insane Remus/Tonks shippers asks "Is that all? Where did all that angst come from? What's the point?" It can probably be proven on a calculator that there is no point to Tonks whatsoever.

I’m not even going to try to figure out just how this is supposed to be better than e-mail or cell phones.

This isn't going to stop certain people in the fandom surely arguing that it must be, because Rowling said it and it's true!!!! Obviously, this argument will take place on Livejournal.

Harry has decided Snape’s snide remarks about Sirius not leaving the house were a powerful factor in his leaving the house.

And if he'd said "Well, you just do whatever you like, because I don't give a shit", that would have been so much better in Harry's eyes. Oh yes.

It makes me giggle when Snape says pudding.

It'd be funnier if he said "fondant fancies" :D

Poor Trelawney’s at the feast this year obviously desperately insecure about her place at the school.

Ah, but she's a comic character, so her insecurity is hillarious, RIGHT? Also, she is boozing, and this is FUNNY :(

Harry looks over to see Malfoy staring at a spoon he’s got hovering in the air.

The spoon of foreshadowing Slytherin EVIL.

Tonks is sending messages to him to come open the gate, but he’s off with his retarded subplot of a brother.

A bit like sending people texts when they have their phone turned off. Or something. Anyway, just lucky Professor Snape was there, or Harry wouldn't have got to exercise his rageing HATE-ON. Practise for, as you say, defeating Voldemort with the power of holy Christ-like pure love.

[merrymelody.livejournal.com]

It can probably be proven on a calculator that there is no point to Tonks whatsoever.

LOL. I want that on an icon.
(Actually, I do REALLY want DTCL icons. Anyone on here any good at that sort of thing?)

Obviously, this argument will take place on Livejournal.

I hope Rowling refuses to communicate her rants interviews and sensitive articles on in any other format but Patronus in future. (The image of Melissa, Emerson, and various Lexicon folk desperately trying to create magical creatures from various bits of wood lying around would only add to my pleasure at a more peaceful fandom.)

[ldybastet.livejournal.com]

The spoon of foreshadowing Slytherin EVIL.

Somehow, I'm tired of the weird so-called foreshadowing that we're supposed to slap our foreheads over later and say 'Oh, how clever JKR is!' about... But I wouldn't be surprised if she points at it and tells us it's an anvil-sized clue.

[artystone.livejournal.com]

What's the point?" It can probably be proven on a calculator that there is no point to Tonks whatsoever.

I have to loudly "brag" that I was aware of that ten minutes into OoP. I only wish Rowling had named her Whythefuck Tonks so I could post rambling meta on 'how did her parents know??2?22?

And if he'd said "Well, you just do whatever you like, because I don't give a shit", that would have been so much better in Harry's eyes. Oh yes.

I choose to believe that's exactly what Snape did say.

It makes me giggle when Snape says pudding.
It'd be funnier if he said "fondant fancies"

ROFL!

Ah, but she's a comic character, so her insecurity is hillarious, RIGHT? Also, she is boozing, and this is FUNNY

Indeed. Are we sure she's not fat?


Anyway, just lucky Professor Snape was there, or Harry wouldn't have got to exercise his rageing HATE-ON. Practise for, as you say, defeating Voldemort with the power of holy Christ-like pure love.

Poor Snape, it's a dirty job, but someone's got to do it!

[violaswamp.livejournal.com]

And thusly everyone apart from insane Remus/Tonks shippers asks "Is that all? Where did all that angst come from? What's the point?" It can probably be proven on a calculator that there is no point to Tonks whatsoever.

*snorts* How very true.

And yeah, Harry as loving Christ-figure? Not so much. Harry's a bloody-minded warrior, not a mercy-loving Christian type.

[ishtar79.livejournal.com]

*It says a lot about how crap Snape’s life is that the chapter where he’s "victorious" refers to the one where we learn he’s going to be at the same job, teaching the same kids, but in a different classroom.

Aaaw, I know. Have we ever considered that *everyone* in fandom might be wrong about this, and Snape killing Dumbledore is neither a sign he's working for the Light or the Dark, but simply a case of Disgruntled Employee-tis?

*I’m not even going to try to figure out just how this is supposed to be better than e-mail or cell phones.

Hm, to play devil's advocate, the Patronus probably never informs you they're 'out of Network range', and sending a Patronus doesn't result in receiving back ten Patronuses shouting at you on 'HOW TO INCREASE YOUR PENIS SIZE'.

[cleverthylacine]

Have we ever considered that *everyone* in fandom might be wrong about this, and Snape killing Dumbledore is neither a sign he's working for the Light or the Dark, but simply a case of Disgruntled Employee-tis?

I sort of said something like that a while back.

Which means that after Book 7 comes out there will be 3 impassioned posts on HP Essays all saying this as if no-one had ever said it before, and the same people on FW who call me a bitter, racist bitch will praise them for saying it because now it will be canon. :)

[kattahj.livejournal.com]

Have we ever considered that *everyone* in fandom might be wrong about this, and Snape killing Dumbledore is neither a sign he's working for the Light or the Dark, but simply a case of Disgruntled Employee-tis?

I'm preaching it: Snape is so Milton in Office Space. Only, y'know, a lot snarkier and not so much with the mumbling.

[merrymelody.livejournal.com]

Ron also says Draco was just showing off for Parkinson, which seems to suggest that Ron, unlike Harry, probably pays attention to the interactions of other students.

Ron, don't use the argument that Malfoy's thinking about how a girl will react to something! Harry will find it totally confusing - like, who cares what Parkinson might find impressive? Shouldn't she worry about impressing Draco? Can't Draco just show her his bad ass scars and hope she assumes he's doing something heroic involving Voldemort and dementors?

Dumbledore stands and everyone shuts up.

All the Great Hall scenes now remind me of that bit in GoF where they're all sniggering at the Beauxbatons students for standing when their teacher comes in. And how it contrasts with OotP, where they're then sniggering/outraged at Umbridge for not getting that when Dumbledore talks? PEOPLE DIE LISTEN!

She’s all “shocked and reproachful” when Harry says he’s hoping for another death.

It's like...how long have you known Harry? Would you really be shocked if he said he was hoping for genocide? (He's got a lot to be upset about!)

Hermione says they’ve been terrified by Harry’s disappearance. Not “leave the table and do something” terrified, more like “whisper worriedly over your pudding” terrified.

Reminds me of CoS, where they're all 'ZOMG, where were you? You Floo'ed off and we were so worried, we could hardly concentrate on queueing for autographs!'
Mind you, who'd want to make a fuss about Harry disappearing and face the inevitable bitch-fit/sulks? He's a GROWN-UP, he can look after himself!!

Tonks sends her Patronus, also without speaking. Harry fails to note that this seems to be an ordinary ability of adult wizards.

Isn't Malfoy floating his fork wordlessly?
I could swear there's about nine zillion things wizards can do silently. How do they fly otherwise?

Perhaps Tonks is no longer inquisitive because Ginny kept hexing her for asking too many questions.

I like how Hermione notes how she and Ron have been 'interrogated' too about the MoM. Last year everyone were stupid sheep for not asking The Facts of the Matter from the Experts; now this year everyone's harrassing them by...um...doing exactly what they said they wanted. Fuck you, general public! You have no idea the burden of celebrity and heroics.

I also note that Ginny and Neville are listening in, which is why Harry won't tell Ron and Hermione what's going on, so obviously Harry's sudden, inexplicable well-written feelings for his ideal girl haven't kicked in yet.
Oh, and this is a sign of how cool he finds Neville, too, clearly, unlike in OotP, where he...still wouldn't tell him anything. Yay for mature Harry!

Harry’s all upset about Snape teaching DADA—how could he be given it after all this time? I think the real question is: what is that your business?

It's almost like someone forgot to consult Harry before deciding the years faculty and their schedules.
I love how the whole school is 'buzzing' over the 'sensational news', though. So to recap: ZOMG, two jocks dating, and a teacher achieves his 'heart's desire' = frontpage gossip; famous jock guts another jock, third jock (now I'm using other country-isms! ;) almost poisoned in teacher's rooms = boring.

How much do I love Snape’s lazy hand wave and the Slytherin clapping.

Why do I find the Slytherins all enthusiasticly cheering on Snape really cute, and yet find 'Hug Hagrid' in the movies and the general inexplicable popularity he enjoys in the books nauseating?

Hagrid’s never managed to comport himself with the dignity of McGonagall, which is Harry’s nice way of reminding us Hagrid’s never managed to comport himself with dignity, period.

McG should give Hagrid lessons. Favouritism should not be an obvious wave at your preferred students. A tastefully wrapped present for them is better etiquette.

Snape mentions a house has never had negative points this early.

(JKR's notes: This will make it all the more shocking when Gryffindor wins the Quidditch cup!1!!!)
Do we even find out who wins the House Cup this time around? SAY THE SIX YEAR RECORD OF THE UNDERDOG HOUSE HASN'T BEEN BROKEN, MAGPIE, SAY IT!

[cleverthylacine]

Why do I find the Slytherins all enthusiasticly cheering on Snape really cute, and yet find 'Hug Hagrid' in the movies and the general inexplicable popularity he enjoys in the books nauseating?

Because a) Snape is competent and smart and b) Rowling doesn't love him and exhort you loudly to love him too. Unless you're a bitter, racist bitch like that ataniell person with the really pink journal :)

[t0ra-chan.livejournal.com]

Why do I find the Slytherins all enthusiasticly cheering on Snape really cute, and yet find 'Hug Hagrid' in the movies and the general inexplicable popularity he enjoys in the books nauseating?

Because the idea of hugging Hagrid is nauseating on principle? Or Hagrid is nauseating, period, take your pick.

[(Anonymous)]

This is also scene two of Tonks, the mousy-haired Red Herring. You know, I’m not bothered by this storyline in terms of what it says about Tonks. She’s a Black; they’re very overdramatic.

Surely you mean "serious and purposeful"? Good thing it says so in the text, or I'd have gone with "mopey and self-pitying".

She’s actually not also suffering from chronic depression, survivor’s guilt, PTSD and whatever other trauma warnings one might see in fanfics.

Occam's razor says there's no point in speculating on lots of possible reasons for Tonks' gloominess (and deciding they're all valid), as if she were a real person. If just plain pining for Lupin makes her seem lame, too bad. It's canon.

Harry has decided Snape’s snide remarks about Sirius not leaving the house were a powerful factor in his leaving the house.

I have no doubt that Snape, the fiend, told Sirius on no account to stand on Hades' front doorstep going "Neener neener can't hit me" in the middle of a duel. Murder by reverse psychology.

It was a mark of the strength of Ron’s friendship that he does not laugh to hear Harry had his nose stepped on and broken. Do you think that’s a sign that we’re not supposed to think Malfoy’s train stomp was a mark of great evil that might have killed Harry?

Fans who've been excusing the twins' cruelty by saying the WW is a violent place and wizards shouldn't be judged by our standards should be lining up to defend Malfoy here. We finally have unequivocal canon that physical brutality that would alarm us Muggles is a bit of a giggle among wizards.

-L

[anehan]

We finally have unequivocal canon that physical brutality that would alarm us Muggles is a bit of a giggle among wizards.

No surprise there, considering the security measures the Department of Mysteries takes to keep people out of the Death Chamber. When even death is such a flippant business, a few broken bones don't even register in their radar.

[merrymelody.livejournal.com]

Fans who've been excusing the twins' cruelty by saying the WW is a violent place and wizards shouldn't be judged by our standards should be lining up to defend Malfoy here.

I love how outraged people were over the nose-breaking. 'It's so vicious!!!' Yeah, because attacking two against one and punching someone in the stomach is so peaceful?

[courtaud.livejournal.com]

*It makes me giggle when Snape says pudding.

Is that a Pink Floyd thing? *wonders*

[cleverthylacine]

How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?

[bramble-bea.livejournal.com]

*Tonks meant Hagrid to get the message. Best. Form of communication. Ever. What spy wouldn’t want to send messages via a big glowing animal easily recognizable as belonging to him or her that random people can see and intercept?

How can they tell to whom the Patronus belongs, if something as simple as falling in love can make it change? Also, given that Harry was teaching a bunch of his school mates how to cast one, their use can't exactly be restricted to the Order members, can it? Do they have a sign saying "I b310ngz 2 ..."?

*Hermione says they’ve been terrified by Harry’s disappearance. Not “leave the table and do something” terrified, more like “whisper worriedly over your pudding” terrified.

Only non-Gryffindors would ever thing of doing something as cowardly as, say, telling a teacher a student seems to be missing.

*Harry’s all upset about Snape teaching DADA—how could he be given it after all this time? I think the real question is: what is that your business?

Really, Harry has never anoyed me as much as in that moment. It's a level of rudeness not even matched by Draco's atitude towards Hagrid. And yet I'm sure we're meant to see it as Harry being straightforward and speaking in the name of all the poor opressed DADA students ever.

gr

*posted too soon*

[bramble-bea.livejournal.com]

Which probably meant that Hagrid rambled on while Grawp nodded and privately wished he’d get the hell out of his cave so he could get back to work on his Anthropological study, written entirely in Giantish: In The Shadow Of Giants by Dr. Grawp Gungabimu, Ph.D. Chapter One: When I allowed myself to be taken by my half-wizard brother in the interest of science, I had no idea how primitive the smaller primate brain would reveal itself to be. That he has been given a position as teacher to children further illustrates the inability of the smaller brain to make proper survival choices….

*Ironically Grawp is a tenured and highly-respected Professor at Giantbridge U. and the author of the pamphlet: “How To Teach a Fun and Interesting Care of Magical Creatures Class Without Endangering Minors.” Dumbledore greatly exaggerated his fluency in Giantish.

Please, tell me there will be fic done like this. The only way I could like the Grawp storyline except for the overused but apt "stones fall, everyone dies" plot device.

[lilith-morgana.livejournal.com]

*Not that he really needs anyone to teach it, since he’s instinctually doing just what Snape says to do right here anyway.

Ihave to say I love the approach to Harry's Great Genius in canon.

Teacher, often Snape, always supported by Hermione et al: Here, do this and research that and you'll be fine.
Harry: OMG NOES I AM TEH OUTCAST REBEL!!11
Teacher, often Snape: Oh, STFU. *detention*
Harry: *does what he was told earlier, things work out* OMG I AM TEH KING OF THE WORLD!
Wizarding world: Yes, yes you are!
Teacher, often Snape: Just die. Oh wait, I have taught you everything you need to know to stay alive. Crap.

*Snape criticizes Tonks’ Patronus. Snape can be a real bitch.:-)

God, I love when he's nasty. :)

Harry has decided Snape’s snide remarks about Sirius not leaving the house were a powerful factor in his leaving the house.

Harry must think Sirius is such a grown up and manly man then. "OMG U told me to sit so I am going to STAND!" But that's a true Black.

He opens his arms as if to embrace the whole room, which is I’m sure what he was hoping to convey when he practiced the gesture in front of the mirror in his room.

Heh!

*Ron also says Draco was just showing off for Parkinson, which seems to suggest that Ron, unlike Harry, probably pays attention to the interactions of other students.


God, I was giggling at the end of HBP when Harry thinks about roaming the moors alone, clutching his sorrow and his courage without the pains of friendship. Because seriously, someone as self-centered as Harry Potter will die after one week alone. If anyone's carried forward by everyone else, it's Harry. United we stand. How cute.

[guza.livejournal.com]

When I allowed myself to be taken by my half-wizard brother in the interest of science, I had no idea how primitive the smaller primate brain would reveal itself to be. That he has been given a position as teacher to children further illustrates the inability of the smaller brain to make proper survival choices….


rofl! that reminds me of this: http://tooti.athame.co.uk/cats/diary.html

:D

[malafede.livejournal.com]

Oh alright, I get it. It’s foreshadowing for their later duel where Harry uses Sectumsempra and gets exactly what he wished for out of it.

Detention? OH NO IT'S SO TRAGIC!! Harry's such a rebel.

Jeez, who’s the Chosen One here? Harry’s got hands too, you know!

Places to be (with people to hate in them), people to see (and hate, and stalk)! Love will triumph thanks to the Chosen One!

She’s all “shocked and reproachful” when Harry says the DADA position is jinxed and everyone leaves after a year, and he’s hoping for another death. Meanwhile she’s like a prodigy of ruthless efficiency when it comes to judging and punishing the masses. I believe this psychological principle at work here is called “doubling,” the division of the self into two functioning wholes, so that a part-self acts as an entire self.”

There goes another cool fanfic warning! Though I believe it's "cognitive dissonance", the splitting of the cognitive self in two wholes, one of which pats itself on the back over its self-righteous preachings, a sure sign the self is better than all those assholes, while the other gets its kicks out of being an asshole. This is the side of Gryffindor Hermione is meant to represent.

Harry looks over to see Malfoy staring at a spoon he’s got hovering in the air.

This was sort of cool of Draco. I mean, the imagery and character touch. Reinforces my theory JKR loves him but can't stand anyone else doing so. Anyway. Now all fandom all take a deep breath and prepare to forget this moment where Draco didn't look pathetic but sort of lazy, uninterested and competent. MALFOY IS ALWAYS PATHETIC!!! STOP READING OOC FANFICS!!!

Readers longingly wonder what it would be like to be in Malfoy’s head during this book.

Yeah, readers wonder what it would be like to be in a POV that does things other than staring glossy-eyed at the dancing hair, worship the Dumbledore just because his Death needs to be Sad, has each interesting developement castrated by frenzied whitewashing of the assholery that caused it. Readers like general dramatic drive and character arcs that result in growth. Stupid readers.

Yup, there goes another anvil of how Superior and Necessary Dumbledore Is To Us In These Dark Times, and How We Must Never Try To Reach His Level.

Except for when 16 year old Draco Malfoy outsmarted him and only failed to kill him because of his coscience. Ah ah. I'll stop being smug any minute now.

They can, at least, imagine what he won’t say, which is anything about his own skills as a teacher.

Since when skills matter? (Unless they are inherited and not lowly -- and new rich-ly -- worked for.) All a teacher needs to do his job is a great heart. I bet that's how Dumbledore conduces* interviews, too. "Have you got a big heart?" And those who say "No, I'm dark and twisted and linger in shady corners spying on the good people" don't get the job.

*Or, conduced. Ah. Ah.

[merrymelody.livejournal.com]

Detention? OH NO IT'S SO TRAGIC!!

Don't undermine his sacrifice! He couldn't play Quidditch, either! My heart quite literally hurt reading about his pain.

I bet that's how Dumbledore conduces* interviews, too. "Have you got a big heart?"

Then it's 'Prove it. What have you done for me and mine lately?' God, can you imagine being an applicant in the WW? You'd prepare all your teachers certificates (if they have such a thing. After all, school inspections are evil in JKR's head - nothing to do with her having been a teacher? ZOMG they were so mean, they expected competence! - , rather than every day and necessary here in the real world.) and the interview would go 'What house were you in? Gryffindor? You're hired! Now go endanger my students.'