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deathtocapslock2006-12-04 12:54 pm
glorfindelghost.livejournal.com) wrote in deathtocapslock2006-12-04 12:54 pm
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So, I was going to do an HBP read-through and then, for reasons unknown I thought it would better to do an OOTP read-through instead before the film comes out. Which means that I have to actually re-read OOTP.
Its probably not going to be a traditional DTCL sporking so to speak, but large parts of this one are just irresistably mockable.
- ’His jeans were torn and dirty, his T-shirt baggy and faded, and the soles of his trainers were peeling away from the uppers’
I honestly don’t get this AT ALL – If the Dursleys care that much about appearances and are bothered about local gossip then they’re not going to let Harry wander around looking like that, surely?
’….grinding their teeth so loudly that he could not hear the news…’
*Boggles*
’He and his gang spent every evening vandalising the play park, smoking on street corners and throwing stones at passing cars and children’
It’s a jungle out there in…um…middle-class suburban Surrey. Apparently.
’The opening notes of the music that heralded the seven o’clock news reached Harry’s ears…’
As the HP lexicon points out, the only seven o’clock news is the channel four news: which tends to be both very liberal and enlightened, and very serious. I rather see the Dursleys as viewers of the ITV news (think Fox news, but with approximately 25% more truths, Americans).
’…that a helicopter that had almost crashed in a field in Surrey…’
Remember Draco’s story about nearly crashing into a helicopter whilst on his broom? Wiltshire’s the next county over. I’m just saying…
’…the top of his head collided with the Dursleys’ open window…Harry felt as though his head had been split in two’
OUCH! I always forget just how many blows to the head Harry takes in the series. True, wizards do seem hardier than muggles thanks to their more advanced medical treatments but still. And yes, I may have chuckled rather uncharitably at Harry’s pain.
We can only assume that OOTP Harry showed that window what-for by hexing it into a slug later on…
’Uncle Vernon yelped and released Harry as though he had received an electric shock. Some invisible force seemed to have surged through his nephew, making him impossible to hold’
Ah, wandless magic. Something that rather bizarrely, Harry only seems able to achieve whilst surrounded by muggles, rather than by other wizards as conduits.
’Harry felt a dull, sinking sensation in his stomach and before he knew it the feeling of hopelessness that had plagued him all summer rolled over him once again’
I really shouldn’t laugh, but…emo much? I think this sentence is also a rather good starting point for anyone that might want to attempt a ‘Rosencrantz and Guidernstern’ version of HBP about Draco – he’s all about the hopelessness and despair! (Do you think the wizarding world has an equivalent for ‘Radiohead’ that he listened to?)
’He was so angry with them he had thrown away, unopened, the two boxes of Honeydukes chocolates they’d sent him for his birthday’
Hee!…I mean awww! Harry spends a lot of this book doing things that work against him in petulant fits of temper, or in misguided attempts at independence.
I’m clearly mellowing because I think its pretty sweet that Hermione and Ron are sending him a joint present or sorts. That is officially going to be the last time I say something complimentary about Hermione in this book so you might want to savour it.
’…he had unsettling dreams about long dark corridors, all finishing in dead ends and locked doors, which he supposed had something to do with the trapped feeling he had when he was awake’
I know the wizarding world has dream analysis because they cover it in Divination, I think. Even if they don’t then I’m pretty sure that a muggleborn like Hermione could check out a book on Jung or something and do a bit of dream analysis – you’d think that even in the rather macho wizarding world, SOMEONE would consider it worthy to attempt to read Harry’s dreams, what with him being the chosen one and all. But of course, this being Harry, he keeps his dream quiet.
Oh, and ‘long dark corridors’? Freudian sexual metaphors = FTW!
’His insides writhed with anger
Any mention of Harry’s insides makes me howl with laughter. Oh chest monster, you have so much to answer for…
’”There you go, Sirius,” Harry thought dully, “Nothing rash. Kept my nose clean. Exactly the opposite of what you would have done”’
Amidst the rage-filled tantrums, OOTP Harry occasionally manages to be quite perceptive: normally with regards to adults he'd previously revered and is now starting to see as decidedly less than perfect.
Also? Note Harry’s lack of rashness here, as it will be all heady recklessness from here on in…
”Yeah? Did he say that you look like a pig that’s been taught to walk on its hind legs? ‘Cause that’s not cheek, Dud, that’s true”
*Facepalm* He’s a rebel without a cause, isn’t he?
Harry’s irritatingly nasty here, especially since he’s essentially goading Dudley into a fight that Harry know he can win. It gives him a sense of satisfaction not unlike that in HBP, when he feels a sense of power at knowing that Draco is trapped in the room of requirement.
”Whereas you just need four mates behind you before you can beat up a ten year old.”
Pot? Meet kettle! Harry’s definitely on thin ice here, taking the moral high ground over this, when we never see him without his own back-up. But then Harry’s not one to analyse the importance of his entourage: Snape’s not wrong in HBP when he calls Harry average but he has underestimated the degree to which the Trio are greater together than the sum of their parts.
”Don’t kill Cedric! Don’t kill Cedric! Who’s Cedric – your boyfriend?”
Dudley Dursley: secret slasher.
Harry rather brings this on himself by starting with the vicious insults and Dudley returns them with vigour – and gets the satisfaction of seeing Harry genuinely upset. Is Dudley stupid? I rather think not…
I think this is the only canon reference to hint at homosexuality, which makes it all the more exciting that its in relation to Harry. And a grey-eyed Seeker. Although that may be a selective reading. On my part….
…and a voice spoke inside his head: “Bow to death, Harry…It might even be painless…I would not know…I have never died…”. He was never going to see Ron and Hermione again-
Creepy. Good stuff.
And its Ron and Hermione that give the Harry the strength to conjure a patronus. If I wasn’t made from stone that would be rather sweet.
A second dementor was crouching low over him, gripping his wrists in its slimy hands, prising them slowly, almost lovingly apart, lowering its hooded head towards Dudley’s face as though about to kiss him
Much love for that sentence, however long and unwieldy it is: its powerful, evocative and frightening, and picks up on a subtle use of sexual assault metaphors throughout the chapter in relation to the wizarding world.
Ahem. Was I just nice about OOTP? We’ll skim over that…
So that chapter one. Only 37 to go. *Gibbers*
Its probably not going to be a traditional DTCL sporking so to speak, but large parts of this one are just irresistably mockable.
- ’His jeans were torn and dirty, his T-shirt baggy and faded, and the soles of his trainers were peeling away from the uppers’
I honestly don’t get this AT ALL – If the Dursleys care that much about appearances and are bothered about local gossip then they’re not going to let Harry wander around looking like that, surely?
’….grinding their teeth so loudly that he could not hear the news…’
*Boggles*
’He and his gang spent every evening vandalising the play park, smoking on street corners and throwing stones at passing cars and children’
It’s a jungle out there in…um…middle-class suburban Surrey. Apparently.
’The opening notes of the music that heralded the seven o’clock news reached Harry’s ears…’
As the HP lexicon points out, the only seven o’clock news is the channel four news: which tends to be both very liberal and enlightened, and very serious. I rather see the Dursleys as viewers of the ITV news (think Fox news, but with approximately 25% more truths, Americans).
’…that a helicopter that had almost crashed in a field in Surrey…’
Remember Draco’s story about nearly crashing into a helicopter whilst on his broom? Wiltshire’s the next county over. I’m just saying…
’…the top of his head collided with the Dursleys’ open window…Harry felt as though his head had been split in two’
OUCH! I always forget just how many blows to the head Harry takes in the series. True, wizards do seem hardier than muggles thanks to their more advanced medical treatments but still. And yes, I may have chuckled rather uncharitably at Harry’s pain.
We can only assume that OOTP Harry showed that window what-for by hexing it into a slug later on…
’Uncle Vernon yelped and released Harry as though he had received an electric shock. Some invisible force seemed to have surged through his nephew, making him impossible to hold’
Ah, wandless magic. Something that rather bizarrely, Harry only seems able to achieve whilst surrounded by muggles, rather than by other wizards as conduits.
’Harry felt a dull, sinking sensation in his stomach and before he knew it the feeling of hopelessness that had plagued him all summer rolled over him once again’
I really shouldn’t laugh, but…emo much? I think this sentence is also a rather good starting point for anyone that might want to attempt a ‘Rosencrantz and Guidernstern’ version of HBP about Draco – he’s all about the hopelessness and despair! (Do you think the wizarding world has an equivalent for ‘Radiohead’ that he listened to?)
’He was so angry with them he had thrown away, unopened, the two boxes of Honeydukes chocolates they’d sent him for his birthday’
Hee!…I mean awww! Harry spends a lot of this book doing things that work against him in petulant fits of temper, or in misguided attempts at independence.
I’m clearly mellowing because I think its pretty sweet that Hermione and Ron are sending him a joint present or sorts. That is officially going to be the last time I say something complimentary about Hermione in this book so you might want to savour it.
’…he had unsettling dreams about long dark corridors, all finishing in dead ends and locked doors, which he supposed had something to do with the trapped feeling he had when he was awake’
I know the wizarding world has dream analysis because they cover it in Divination, I think. Even if they don’t then I’m pretty sure that a muggleborn like Hermione could check out a book on Jung or something and do a bit of dream analysis – you’d think that even in the rather macho wizarding world, SOMEONE would consider it worthy to attempt to read Harry’s dreams, what with him being the chosen one and all. But of course, this being Harry, he keeps his dream quiet.
Oh, and ‘long dark corridors’? Freudian sexual metaphors = FTW!
’His insides writhed with anger
Any mention of Harry’s insides makes me howl with laughter. Oh chest monster, you have so much to answer for…
’”There you go, Sirius,” Harry thought dully, “Nothing rash. Kept my nose clean. Exactly the opposite of what you would have done”’
Amidst the rage-filled tantrums, OOTP Harry occasionally manages to be quite perceptive: normally with regards to adults he'd previously revered and is now starting to see as decidedly less than perfect.
Also? Note Harry’s lack of rashness here, as it will be all heady recklessness from here on in…
”Yeah? Did he say that you look like a pig that’s been taught to walk on its hind legs? ‘Cause that’s not cheek, Dud, that’s true”
*Facepalm* He’s a rebel without a cause, isn’t he?
Harry’s irritatingly nasty here, especially since he’s essentially goading Dudley into a fight that Harry know he can win. It gives him a sense of satisfaction not unlike that in HBP, when he feels a sense of power at knowing that Draco is trapped in the room of requirement.
”Whereas you just need four mates behind you before you can beat up a ten year old.”
Pot? Meet kettle! Harry’s definitely on thin ice here, taking the moral high ground over this, when we never see him without his own back-up. But then Harry’s not one to analyse the importance of his entourage: Snape’s not wrong in HBP when he calls Harry average but he has underestimated the degree to which the Trio are greater together than the sum of their parts.
”Don’t kill Cedric! Don’t kill Cedric! Who’s Cedric – your boyfriend?”
Dudley Dursley: secret slasher.
Harry rather brings this on himself by starting with the vicious insults and Dudley returns them with vigour – and gets the satisfaction of seeing Harry genuinely upset. Is Dudley stupid? I rather think not…
I think this is the only canon reference to hint at homosexuality, which makes it all the more exciting that its in relation to Harry. And a grey-eyed Seeker. Although that may be a selective reading. On my part….
…and a voice spoke inside his head: “Bow to death, Harry…It might even be painless…I would not know…I have never died…”. He was never going to see Ron and Hermione again-
Creepy. Good stuff.
And its Ron and Hermione that give the Harry the strength to conjure a patronus. If I wasn’t made from stone that would be rather sweet.
A second dementor was crouching low over him, gripping his wrists in its slimy hands, prising them slowly, almost lovingly apart, lowering its hooded head towards Dudley’s face as though about to kiss him
Much love for that sentence, however long and unwieldy it is: its powerful, evocative and frightening, and picks up on a subtle use of sexual assault metaphors throughout the chapter in relation to the wizarding world.
Ahem. Was I just nice about OOTP? We’ll skim over that…
So that chapter one. Only 37 to go. *Gibbers*
no subject
Ahh, but don't you know? The Dursleys, who watch the OMG EVIL modern technology of television, have multiple choices. Because they have CABLE, which is worse!
I mean normal tv is bad enough, but Cable TV makes them irredeemable! *shakes head*
’….grinding their teeth so loudly that he could not hear the news…’
Hee, that reminds me of the HBP battle scene. Harry, while running by, ignores the "mute call" of the bodies on the ground. Harry must have the super sensitive ears of a bat!
Oh, but the best part? Dudley Dursley: secret slasher.
Yes! Hahahaha!
no subject
OMG, I never noticed that line before.
It's worse than the self-pitying one in HBP post-Sectusempra about the idea of not getting to play Quidditch and nail Ginny feeling like a 'knife' through him.
My hate for OotP, which lessened since the last time I read it, has returned, to the power of ten.
If I wasn’t made from stone that would be rather sweet.
Heh, later he uses the idea of Umbridge suffering for a Patronus. Maybe next book it'll be the memory of the Sectumsempra? ;)
I think this is the only canon reference to hint at homosexuality
I think there's some minor other ones - the Weasleys joke about Percy and Mr. Crouch?
It’s a jungle out there in…um…middle-class suburban Surrey. Apparently.
Well, that's what happens when you don't send your children to a decent private-school. You go for a bourgeois pretentious place like Smeltings, and before you know it, they're behaving like the working class. Would people behave like that at Hogwarts? Hell no!
I rather see the Dursleys as viewers of the ITV news.
Note how anti-intellectual the Dursleys are with the line about normal kids not watching the news. Boo, hiss!
(Uh, Harry's watching the news because it involves his favourite subject, himself, and his Battle Against Evil. It's not like he's a deep political thinker. He's read, like, two books in six years.)
And of course Vernon's OMG teh racist comment about the Spanish. Remember, prejudice against the Bulgarians and the French - OK. Spanish and Japanese - not okay.
”'Cause that’s not cheek, Dud, that’s true”
Gotta love how Dudley's all 'He cheeked me so I had to beat him up', a motivation after Harry's own heart - as indeed is proved, when Harry stirring for a fight here later becomes 'He started with me!' when the Dursleys ask what happened.
even in the rather macho wizarding world, SOMEONE would consider it worthy to attempt to read Harry’s dreams, what with him being the chosen one and all.
Heh, he's probably the first and only person in the WW who's Speshul enough to have prophetic dreams.
Harry's such an obnoxious little shit in this chapter, my sympathy is not only with Dudley (who's like, the one realistic teenage character in the series, except maybe Ron, sometimes.) but also the window.
OUCH! I always forget just how many blows to the head Harry takes in the series.
Explains a lot, doesn't it? And yet he doesn't recieve nearly enough, in my opinion.
I think its pretty sweet that Hermione and Ron are sending him a joint present or sorts.
LOL, now you're reminding me of the endless OotP discussion about Sirius and Remus' joint presents, and whether it indicates couplehood. (And Fred and George share presents, too, iirc ;)
OOTP Harry occasionally manages to be quite perceptive: normally with regards to adults he'd previously revered and is now starting to see as decidedly less than perfect.
Now time to turn that light inwards! ;)
I do like the line about how Sirius tried to commit the murder he was imprisoned for.
Is Dudley stupid? I rather think not…
The narrator constantly noting how awful the Dursleys are, and Dudley specifically here (he even whistles tunelessly! Oh, and he's as fat as ever. But remember girls, that's not important! I'm sure it won't be mentioned more than five or six times in the remaining Privet Drive chapters - until we get to the toad-like chubster that is Umbridge, of course.) warms me up to them, if anything. If being special means being relentlessly self-pitying, aggressive and hypocritical, then maybe being 'perfectly normal, thank you very much' is underrated...
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no subject
uh, why not, Ginny's heart!
Heh, from the few Dudley fics out there, for some reason there's a real fixation with Harry and Dudley dating each other's girlfriends. Frankly after this chapter, I'm shipping Harry/Dudley themselves - cut out the middleman.
Although I don't think I'd wish Ginny on poor Dudley, even as punishment for 11 years of bullying. Be merciful, say death!
no subject
I'm sure Ginny will probably end up beating him at that come next year...tossing and turning in her beautiful silk sheets that Mrs Weasley barted with Ron's university fund...
no subject
I honestly don’t get this AT ALL – If the Dursleys care that much about appearances and are bothered about local gossip then they’re not going to let Harry wander around looking like that, surely?
Especially since I think we're supposed to get the idea that most of his neighbourhood is along the same lines as the Dursleys. Wouldn't someone have noticed by now?
…the top of his head collided with the Dursleys’ open window…Harry felt as though his head had been split in two’
OUCH! I always forget just how many blows to the head Harry takes in the series.
I think this more than anything else disproves my theory that a good smack upside the head is the cure for a lack of common sense. Too bad, really.
no subject
I can only imagine what the neighborhood thinks. The adopted son looks like a street corner flasher and vagabond, the native born son throws rocks at small children. O_o
As the HP lexicon points out, the only seven o’clock news is the channel four news: which tends to be both very liberal and enlightened, and very serious. I rather see the Dursleys as viewers of the ITV news (think Fox news, but with approximately 25% more truths, Americans).
I always thought there was something fishy about ITV when I was in London. It seemed Fox Newsish to me. Now I know. The easy answer to this one, is well the Dursleys are poseurs afterall. They would like to be thought intelligent, so they watch the super duper serious news. Of course, Harry never makes an attempt to have normal conversations with the Dursleys, so we never know how smart or stupid they are.
Amidst the rage-filled tantrums, OOTP Harry occasionally manages to be quite perceptive: normally with regards to adults he'd previously revered and is now starting to see as decidedly less than perfect.
I'm thinking that was the Riddle part of him talking. Harry was back to being Dumbledore's stooge in HBP.
It’s a jungle out there in…um…middle-class suburban Surrey. Apparently.
Surrey... the badlands. It ranks up there with East L.A. and East N.Y. LOL