Deathly Hallows Epilogue

[montavilla.livejournal.com]

This is it! The end of the book. Thank you all for bearing with it. It was a long, hard road.

Looking forward to Sistermagpie's sporking of Prisoner of Azkaban!

Nineteen Years Later

There isn’t all that much to say about this epilogue that hasn’t been said before, but there is a definite change in tone as it starts with an idyllic autumn day as “crisp and golden as an apple.” People have called this epilogue treacle-y, but the sweetness is good after all that action and angst.

Either JKR did write this long before the tortured prose of the earlier chapters, or her relief at reaching the end was so strong that pours out on the page.

We are introduced gradually to the unnamed family. Harry speaks, so we know it’s him. The first child who speaks is Lily, who is whinging about wanting to go to school, too. It’s a bit of a shout out to Ginny’s first appearance in the books, and it’s absolutely bizarre how every single child in this series can’t wait to leave home for several months. There is not one of them who ever experiences the slightest bit of homesickness.

Albus is the second one named. And he’s whinging about the possibility of being placed in Slytherin House.

Ginny then tells James to give it a rest, which is slightly confusing because it makes it seem like James is the one complaining.

But then James cuts in to defend himself. “I only said he might be. There’s nothing wrong with that. He might be in Slyth—“

And then he stops at the look in Ginny’s eyes.

So, right away, we know a few things about this family: 1) They’re all whiners. 2) James is a bully. 3) Ginny is not to be trifled with.

And 4) Calling someone a Slytherin is such an effective insult that even the possibility of being sorted there is enough to cause tears.

James runs ahead like the minature alpha male he is, and Albus worries that his parents won’t write, or that they will write more than the once a month that James says is proper.

Harry tells Albus not to believe his older brother because James “likes a laugh.” Teasing brothers, lying to them, playing practical jokes on them—that’s all a laugh. It’s also a laugh to do that to other students. Unless it’s doing it to Slytherins—which is justice (pre-emptive or otherwise), or Slytherins doing it to anyone else, in which case it’s bullying. Got it. Only took me seven books!

They pass through the barrier and the steam from the Hogwarts express is so incredibly dense that Harry and his family are unable to distinguish any faces at all in the crowd. Harry hears Percy Weasley talking and is thankful that he can’t see him and therefore doesn’t have to talk to him.

I guess Percy hasn’t been completely forgiven after all.

The only people they are glad to see are Ron and Hermione and their kids. We find out their names are Rose and Hugo, and at least they aren’t named Arthur and Molly. I guess because Ron doesn’t feel the need to replicate his parents in his kids.

But I can’t help noticing that Rose and Hugo have the same initials as Ron and Hermione—and that they fit nicely with Ron and Hermione’s first dates: (Viktor) Hugo and (Lavender) Rose. I’m sure that’s all in my own head, because it’s so weird and random a thing to do with names. But there it is.

So, Ron tells Harry that Hermione didn’t think he could pass a simple driving test—which Hermione denies, but even I don’t believe her. Then Ron admits to Harry that he didn’t pass the test and used magic to cheat. So, we know that the wizard contempt for Muggle customs hasn’t changed. I find it kind of weird that Ron waited until his late thirties to get his driving license. Is that a British thing?

Oops. And here’s Ron threatening to disinherit his daughter if she doesn’t get into Gryffindor. Reinforcing the competition between Houses.

And right after that, we get Ron warily pointing out Draco Malfoy, his wife and child. Draco nods curtly after noticing all four Weasley/Potter adults staring at him. That’s pretty rude of them when you think about it. Has Draco been off in Portugal for nineteen years or something?

Also, Ron knows the name of Draco’s kid and demands that Rose beat the kid in every test. So… is this the weird Weasley/Malfoy feud continuing? Why the hell is Ron being so hostile to some kid he never saw before?

Could he be--gasp!--prejudging a child based on his feelings towards the kid’s father? Nonsense. Only bitter, twisted semi-evil old virgins professors do that sort of thing, right?

Of course, I’ve read posts from readers who contend that Scorpius must be evil, like his father, because he’s named Scorpius. I don’t really understand that logic, although I guess there’s some evil character named Scorpius in some television show or something? Or is it a video game? Anyway, I doubt JKR had that character in mind when she wrote this chapter seventeen years ago.

And Scorpius Malfoy doesn’t strike me as any more inherently evil as a name than Sirius Black or Remus Lupin.

I can’t help noticing, also, that Ron gets to embody all this wizard prejudice towards Slytherin and the Malfoys so that we get to know that it’s still there—but Harry can be above it. And Hermione, who tells Ron not to start turning the kids against each other before they even start school—even though she just finds his attitude amusing.

And she’s right. There’s no need for that Ron. I’m sure that the school will do a perfectly fine job in turning them against each other through the course of the school year.

Then Ron tells Rose that Arthur will never forgive her if she ends up marrying a pureblood wizard. So, while we can hope that prejudice against Muggleborn is fading away, prejudice against pureblood is going strong!

Let’s see. Percy supposedly married Penelope Clearwater (Muggleborn) and Ron married Hermione (Muggleborn). Charlie didn’t marry anyone. Bill married a French quarter-Veela. Is Angelina Johnson pureblood or not? Did George get blasted off the family clock if she was? (Note: Most of this information comes from the documentary on JKR, not from canon.)

Then we get about a page of dialogue to inform us about the fortunes of various characters. Teddy Lupin is through with school and “snogging” the daughter of Bill and Fleur. Plus, he’s close to the family already through being Harry’s godson.

Neville Longbottom is the Professor of Herbology at Hogwarts (no mention of his barkeeping wife, though.)

James aims a kick at his little brother, teases him by mentioning thestrals, kisses his mother, hugs his dad, and runs off into the train. What a charming lad he is! Why, he reminds me of a young Dudley Dursley!

Poor little Albus is now about to throw up at the thought of invisible skeletal horses. Obviously this kid is not Gryffindor material.

Harry comforts Albus by telling him that thestrals are sweet and not scarey and that he won’t have to encounter then this year. Then he tells him that he actually knew a brave Slytherin once, that he and Ginny won’t stop loving him if he is sorted into Slytherin, and that he can just tell the Hat to put him somewhere else.

And that’s the moral of the story, I guess. Maybe you were born into that quarter of the population naturally inclined to evil—but you have the choice to ask the Hat not to condemn you immediately.

And maybe—just maybe—the Hat will listen.

Finally, we get everyone staring at Harry because he’s famous and Ron making a joke about it. The joke being that anyone might possibly be staring at Ron. Lest we were worried about it, we’re reassured that Harry is still the prettiest one!

And then the train leaves and Harry suffers a pang of separation anxiety. Ginny comforts him by saying that the boys will be fine. Harry touches his scar and tells her knows that—because the scar no longer hurts, which means that Voldemort is still dead.

And, since there couldn’t possibly ever be another Dark Wizard, all is well.

Fan Service:
Harry names his children just like a fanfic author!


Fan Slappage:
Draco is prematurely balding. Take that fan girls!
Harry named a kid after Albus Dumbledore. Ewww!

DVD Extras:

EXT: DAY – KING’S CROSS STATION PLATFORM

As the train pulls away, Harry and Ginny’s hands abruptly stop waving and drop to their sides. Ron and Hermione each grab onto one of Hugo’s hands.

HARRY
See you.

GINNY
I thought you were going to take Lily out for an ice cream.

HARRY
I have to get to work.

Ginny sighs. A tall young man with blue hair emerges from the steam clouds left by the train. It’s obviously Teddy Lupin.

TEDDY
I can take the kids, Aunt Ginny. I was hoping we could make it a holiday.

LILY
Teddy!

He hugs Lily, who runs over to him. Hugo follows, climbing familiarly onto Teddy’s back.

HERMIONE
You don’t mind?

TEDDY
Nah. Shall we go to Diagon Alley?

HUGO
Diagon! Diagon!

He gathers up the two kids and they all disappear into the steam. Ginny turns to leave as well.

GINNY
See you at home then.

Left together, Harry, Ron and Hermione smile at each other.

RON
Been awhile, Harry.

HARRY
It’s summer. There’s always more obliviating to do in summer.

They start strolling toward the parking lot. As they pass onto the street, Ginny can be glimpsed in the background crossing the street. She pauses at the doorway to a dark bar, looks around furtively, and then darts inside.

Harry slaps himself in the forehead.

HARRY
Sorry—I forgot something.

He turns back into the station. Ron and Hermione shrug at each other.

CUT TO:

Harry, walking through the steam clouds of the station. He is anxiously looking around for something. He passes a pillar, barely noticing that Draco Malfoy is lounging against it.

Harry stops and does a double-take.

DRACO
Potter.

HARRY
Where’d your wife go?

DRACO
She had a thing. Noticed you staring earlier.

HARRY
Shut up. (There is an awkward silence.) So… Leaky Cauldron?

DRACO
I already booked a room.

Harry nods curtly and turns to go. Draco draws his wand and points it at Harry’s back.

DRACO
Expelliarmus!

Harry’s wand flies out of his hand and clatters to the platform. Draco scoops it up.

HARRY
Draco! Goddamnit! Stop that!

DRACO
(grinning) I’m the Master of the Elder Wand! I’m the Master of the Elder Wand!

HARRY
(rolling his eyes)
Please. You are not. That’s been over forever.

DRACO
(handing Harry the wand) Then who is?

HARRY
Some vagrant in Knockturn Alley, I think. Happened my first day as an auror.

DRACO
Doesn’t that worry you? Maybe he’ll go steal the wand.

HARRY
Like he remembers. He was dead drunk at the time.

They grin and walk away side by side into the mist, knocking their shoulders together.

CUT TO:

PARKING LOT – KING’S CROSS STATION

Ron and Hermione get into their car. Hermione immediately sticks a magical device (which is most definitely not a Bluetooth headset) into her ear and pulls a pile of papers out of her briefcase.

HERMIONE
Don’t forget to check your mirrors.

RON
(annoyed)
I was going to!

HERMIONE
You always forget. (She touches her device in her ear:) Thickness? Did you get that brief about Elvish welfare I sent you?... That’s the one…. No, it isn’t a step backward… Let me explain.

Ron frowns and throws the car into reverse to back out of the parking spot—without checking the mirrors.

Ginny appears briefly in the back window, weaving slightly as she walks.

With a THUD, the car stops and Ginny abruptly drops out of sight.

Ron and Hermione glance at each other puzzled.

HERMIONE
What was that?

RON
Speed bump.

He pulls forward and speeds away, as a crowd of Muggles gasp and run to Ginny’s body, which is lying on the pavement.

FADE OUT

Comments

[tekalynn.livejournal.com]

So eeevil. Why am I laughing?

[montavilla.livejournal.com]

You must be in Slytherin. :)

[octopuspatronus.livejournal.com]

You did it! You've finished DH and killed Ginny! (And what a great way of doing it, too-- there's a reason we make people take driver's tests, Ron!)

I don't know how you found the strength to do this, by the way. I haven't so much as touched my copy of DH since I read it the first time. Extra kudos for you.

[montavilla.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I can't tell you how that animation makes my day!

[kitrinlu.livejournal.com]

DRACO
Expelliarmus!

Harry’s wand flies out of his hand and clatters to the platform. Draco scoops it up.

HARRY
Draco! Goddamnit! Stop that!

DRACO
(grinning) I’m the Master of the Elder Wand! I’m the Master of the Elder Wand!

That? Was pure, distilled awesome :D


Thanks for all the work you've put into sporking this pile of dreck. The DVD extras make the book so much more bearable.

Is it bad that I can't help picturing grown-up Draco as looking something like Riff Raff (http://www.imdb.com/character/ch0010153/) from Rocky Horror? I think it is :(

[montavilla.livejournal.com]

Thanks to Accio Brain, I picture grown-up Draco as looking like David Hyde Pierce. And I am not complaining at all about that!

[snapes-witch.livejournal.com]

I really hated her oblique references to the actors -- Tom Felton's receding hairline and either Rupert Grint's own difficulties obtaining a driver's licence, his movie Driving Lessons, or both.

Thank you for reading this dreadful book for us; now I'll never have to suffer through another reading on my own. Now I'm settling down to wait for everyone else's cogent remarks.

[madderbrad.livejournal.com]

Rupert Grint's own difficulties obtaining a driver's licence, his movie Driving Lessons, or both.

I didn't know that!! Interesting.

I think by the time that Rowling got to DH, and even HBP, she was getting tired of her series. That and she didn't have a clear idea of how she was going to wrap it up.

Deathly Hallows in particular is full of little self indulgences by Rowling, I reckon. In some of the interviews she mentioned have various scenes were 'favourites', images she'd wanted to write from the beginning. Things like Harry's death walk into the forest, and Hagrid carrying him out.

So scenes like that, and Molly's defeating Bellatrix, and so forth, were inserted without any regard to how they affected the story/series as a whole. I don't think she really cared much. Besides, the book was guaranteed to be a commercial blockbuster success anyway.

But that bit about Grint's real life is interesting!

[jodel-from-aol.livejournal.com]

>They pass through the barrier and the steam from the Hogwarts express is so incredibly dense that Harry and his family are unable to distinguish any faces at all in the crowd. <

Oh. I get it. We're now supposed to remember the cosmic King's Cross from two chapters ago and get all nostalgic. (All aboard for the Next Big Adventure!!!)

I can easily believe that she wrote this back all those years (not 17, by this time, more like going on 20) ago. After all, we know she claims not to reread her own work. Anyone who read an outline of PS/SS could have written this chapter.

[madderbrad.livejournal.com]

Anyone who read an outline of PS/SS could have written this chapter.

There's not much that relates to the material preceding it in the same novel, is there? That's part of why the epilogue is such a let-down, I guess. I liked Montavilla's comparison of Lily to the first glimpse we had of Ginny - straight from PS, as you say. And Ron's regressed back to the 'take it easy' immature fellow that he was before she made him grow up a bit to be a match for Hermione in the last book.

The bit about Snape being 'the bravest man' Harry knew was new. And Teddy, of course.

[madderbrad.livejournal.com]

YES!! GOD BLESS YOU!!! S.L.A.G (SOCIETY of LOBBYISTS AGAINST GINNY) MEMBERS, REJOICE!!

*reads again*

*cancels meeting with fandom assassins for hit on Montavilla*

Loud cheers for the DVD extra. Well, the H/D isn't my cup of tea, but otherwise:

Some vagrant in Knockturn Alley, I think. Happened my first day as an auror.

YES!!! Exactly what I predicted.

Only your slant of having the vagrant drunk - and therefore oblivious of his new status - was an excellent variation. That's actually a great, non-joking, solution to the whole 'master of the Elder Wand' mess, given as how there is no convenient 'find the master' spell or detector in the canon. My solution was for Harry to walk into a pub in Knockturn Alley with ten Auror mates and start a bar brawl - pretty quickly the chain of who-defeated-whom would be lost in the furore - but this is better.

Harry and Ginny - a lifeless, soulless marriage. YES.

And then even more lifeless!!! Hee. :-)

(What does it say of me that I actually feel a bit sorry for Ginny now? Or worried about my own baying for her blood? DEATHLY HALLOWS HAS TURNED ME INTO A BLOODTHIRSTY MONSTER, I'm telling you! I wasn't always like this! It's all Rowling's fault.)

Ron/Hermione - simiarly loveless. And then Ginny suffers for Ron's deliberate/habitual rejection of his wife's admonitions.

This DVD extra is a work of art!!

Regarding the canon epilogue itself ... it was just a *horrible* way to end the series. It might be *intellectually* satisfying - Harry had always craved a 'normal' life, and so that's what he got, 'all was well' - but in every other respect it's sadly lacking, ending the novel and the series on a bland, emotionally dissatisfying note. Much better to have finished it with the last line of the preceding chapter, "I've had enough trouble for the rest of my life", or however it went.

But no; Rowling wanted to tack on the epilogue, bringing it out of the mothballs. I wonder, too, how much of her great need to instruct her readers on Harry's future - which came out only too clearly in the post-publication interviews - drove her to slap on these few extra pages to lock in H/G and R/Hr as canon?

In all respects the epilogue fails. Harry's world hasn't changed at all from the conditions which launched at least two dark lords, Grindlewald and Voldemort. Ron's proven to have not matured at all. He hides his shortcomings from his wife (although, unlike 'The Potters', we note that Hermione isn't addressed as a Weasley; I take solace in the likelihood that she's now divorced from Ron). Slytherin are still evil. It has all the emotional substance and appeal of a dead fish.

Thank you for your review of DH, I found it to be greatly entertaining (I wish I'd found it earlier)! Your DVD Extras win!

[montavilla.livejournal.com]

*cancels meeting with fandom assassins for hit on Montavilla*

*breathes a sigh of relief and dismisses horde of fandom bodyguards*

Well, the H/D isn't my cup of tea...

But you have to have some H/D. It's too intrinsic to the series.

I will confess that I felt a bit bad putting it in after writing last week's DVD extra. I'm kind of liking Astoria/Draco. I tell myself, though, that growing up pureblood gave them both a rather sophisticated perspective on marriage. So, they have an open arrangement and as long as nobody scares the horses, they're good.

My solution was for Harry to walk into a pub in Knockturn Alley with ten Auror mates and start a bar brawl - pretty quickly the chain of who-defeated-whom would be lost in the furore - but this is better.

The bar brawl might work--or it might inspire one of the brawlers to serially kill everyone else in order to insure his mastery of the wand.

I actually think a more burning question is whether or not Harry ever gave Draco his wand back.

(What does it say of me that I actually feel a bit sorry for Ginny now? Or worried about my own baying for her blood? DEATHLY HALLOWS HAS TURNED ME INTO A BLOODTHIRSTY MONSTER, I'm telling you! I wasn't always like this! It's all Rowling's fault.)

That last bit was all for you, Madderbrad.

But I have another confession: The biggest problem in writing this one was getting Lily and Hugo away. I couldn't stand the thought of having little kids getting hit by cars--however fictional--or being in the car that killed someone.

It's rather tragic that Ron kills Ginny like that. But I figure he'll never realize that it was him. It would take too much thought.

[eir-de-scania.livejournal.com]

And the Ginny haters will love you forever. Personally I thought H&G deserved each other, but, oh well. :-P


Either JKR did write this long before the tortured prose of the earlier chapters, or her relief at reaching the end was so strong that pours out on the page.
***She wrote it umpteen years ago and didn't feel like doing much changing. The hotel room mini bar was calling her!

Harry hears Percy Weasley talking and is thankful that he can’t see him and therefore doesn’t have to talk to him.
***Our Percy has hardly become less stuffy and pompous over the years.

So, Ron tells Harry that Hermione didn’t think he could pass a simple driving test—which Hermione denies, but even I don’t believe her. Then Ron admits to Harry that he didn’t pass the test and used magic to cheat.
***So no Muggle ever wished they could do a bit of magic when passing those damned tests? I know I did, and I bet our Jo did as well.

It's obvious the old animosity between the houses are well alive and kicking. I seriously doubt the wizard world is able to change. Still I don't get the impression of more than good-natured bantering from the adults. Ron and Harry sound a lot like my best friends dad and my own, whene they didn't want to show thy had a lump in their throat and fell back to clumsy jokes.

Teasing brothers, lying to them, playing practical jokes on them—that’s all a laugh.
***Sounds like normal older behaviour to me. I suspect if anyone else, even a fellow Gryff trying something similiar on Al would find himself well and truly hexed by James.

If you want a better Epilogue, you have on here:
http://bloodrebel333.livejournal.com/360925.html

[papier.livejournal.com]

Not for anything other than general interest, but I'm pretty sure Rowling doesn't drive. She has some sort of car-phobia (but only when she's behind the wheel) that I remember reading about on her website years ago. Maybe she's gotten over it since then.

[oryx_leucoryx]

I guess Percy hasn’t been completely forgiven after all.

That's because of his criticism of Harry and Hermione's reforms. He keeps finding places where they aren't that well thought out.

But I can’t help noticing that Rose and Hugo have the same initials as Ron and Hermione—and that they fit nicely with Ron and Hermione’s first dates: (Viktor) Hugo and (Lavender) Rose.

I thought Rose was named after Madam Rosmerta, Ron's everlasting true love.

And she’s right. There’s no need for that Ron. I’m sure that the school will do a perfectly fine job in turning them against each other through the course of the school year.

QFT

James' treatment of Al is a shout out to the twins' treatment of Ron. I didn't like either iteration.

Harry comforts Albus by telling him that thestrals are sweet and not scarey and that he won’t have to encounter then this year. Then he tells him that he actually knew a brave Slytherin once, that he and Ginny won’t stop loving him if he is sorted into Slytherin, and that he can just tell the Hat to put him somewhere else.

It took 11+ years for Al (only!) to hear for the first time that there was a Slytherin who was extraordinarily brave and not completely contemptible.

And, since there couldn’t possibly ever be another Dark Wizard, all is well.

What about a Dark Witch? With ties all over the Ministry? Who would never think of herself as particularly Dark? Kudos to Arsinoe de Blassenville for making her the illegitimate daughter of Crouch Sr. Wouldn't be surprised if she's the secret lovechild of Crouch Sr and Dolores Umbridge, adopted in infancy by the Grangers (neither bio-parent could have afforded the scandal).

The DVD extra is lovely (except for keeping the trio alive, but one can't have everything). Ginny, Ron, the Elder Wand...

[montavilla.livejournal.com]

I thought Rose was named after Madam Rosmerta, Ron's everlasting true love.

I never thought of that!

James' treatment of Al is a shout out to the twins' treatment of Ron. I didn't like either iteration.

At least with James it isn't two against one.

[eir-de-scania.livejournal.com]

Hermione immediately sticks a magical device (which is most definitely not a Bluetooth headset) into her ear and pulls a pile of papers out of her briefcase.

***Correct. Even with JKR-maths, this is a future fic. Blue-tooths was only fit for museums when this happens

[montavilla.livejournal.com]

You know wizards. All their technology is obsolete.

[mmmarcusz.livejournal.com]

There is not one of them who ever experiences the slightest bit of homesickness.

Malfoy probably does, which is why he gets regular letters and lots of packages. Hell, most of Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Slytherin do. But not Gryffindors, because homesickness is a cowardly form of love.

So, Ron tells Harry that Hermione didn’t think he could pass a simple driving test—which Hermione denies, but even I don’t believe her. Then Ron admits to Harry that he didn’t pass the test and used magic to cheat. So, we know that the wizard contempt for Muggle customs hasn’t changed. I find it kind of weird that Ron waited until his late thirties to get his driving license. Is that a British thing?

I imagine he just didn't bother. But many European countries are less car-centric than the U.S. and have better public transport, so it's not unknown for citydwellers not to bother learning to drive (I'm 21 and haven't).

James aims a kick at his little brother, teases him by mentioning thestrals, kisses his mother, hugs his dad, and runs off into the train. What a charming lad he is! Why, he reminds me of a young Dudley Dursley!


I wonder if Harry's kids have ever met their uncle Dudley (okay, second cousin once removed). I'd like to think that they'd reconcile, seeing as Big D just replicating his parents' behaviour. Also, Harry is Grand Chief Warlock or whatever while Dudley is presumably unemployable and mooching off his dad, which makes it easier for Harry to be magmanimous.

[papier.livejournal.com]

Iirc, the kids are occasionally taken round to 'Uncle' Dudley's (probably once a year or something) and they hate it. I'm sure she said it in an interview. Not at all surprising.

[papier.livejournal.com]

Ron frowns and throws the car into reverse to back out of the parking spot—without checking the mirrors.

Ginny appears briefly in the back window, weaving slightly as she walks.

With a THUD, the car stops and Ginny abruptly drops out of sight.

Yay! :D But you forgot the SPLAT!

A sue dying such an ordinary, un-epic death. Quel tragedie! :'D

[montavilla.livejournal.com]

Statistically speaking, more people die in traffic accidents than are killed by the Dark Lord each year. But nobody declares war on Driverism.

[r-ganymede.livejournal.com]

Congrats on finishing the whole thing! I know I couldn't make through it a second time.


And right after that, we get Ron warily pointing out Draco Malfoy, his wife and child. Draco nods curtly after noticing all four Weasley/Potter adults staring at him. That’s pretty rude of them when you think about it. Has Draco been off in Portugal for nineteen years or something?
...
Of course, I’ve read posts from readers who contend that Scorpius must be evil, like his father, because he’s named Scorpius. I don’t really understand that logic, although I guess there’s some evil character named Scorpius in some television show or something? Or is it a video game?

No, no, no. See, they're staring at Draco because somewhere in those 19 years he got addicted to Muggle sci-fi and became a total geek. Hence his naming his kid Scorpius. His original list of potential names also included Khan, Darth, Lex, Davros, and Megatron, but Scorpius was the only one Lucius and Narcissa would let him name their grandchild. So the Trio are staring at him the way they might stare at, say, Luna, for being eccentric and having an imagination.

Okay, not really. But I laughed really hard at the thought of Draco as a Farscape fan when I first read through this chapter.

Also, as appropriate a name as Scorpius is in the Wizarding World, I kind of wondered why the name Severus was relegated to the middle name of Harry's second child instead of it being Draco's kid's name. Given the way Snape protected him even while acting as a spy against the Death Eaters, it seems like he'd be far more likely to want to honor Snape in that way. Maybe he's trying to stay kind of neutral with whatever DE sympathizers might be left, though.


LOL at the random Master of the Elder Wand. It seems like something that should realistically happen all the time.

Also love Ginny getting killed by Ron's reckless driving. Someone has to, if he can't even pass a driving test, but I don't like thinking about the Muggles that might be injured. WTH is it with JKR and reckless driving? Between Ron in the epilogue and the Marauders in the little prequel, it seems like she finds it endearing somehow, when it's really, really not.

[montavilla.livejournal.com]

Ooooh. Farscape! I knew it was something like that.

I'll have to watch that show sometime. I only ever caught glimpses of it late at night. But any show with puppets is got to be good.

[the-bitter-word.livejournal.com]

(Viktor) Hugo and (Lavender) Rose

I've heard Rose was named for Rosemerta, she of the ample bosom that won Ron's admiration, but I can see Lavender, too, for either a very secure or a weirdly hostile naming of one's children.

And Scorpius Malfoy doesn’t strike me as any more inherently evil as a name than Sirius Black or Remus Lupin.

Or James Potter, for that matter.

I think it's creepy the way the "good" heroes stare at Malfoy and Scorpius (Children of the Damned), and the way Malfoy acknowledges them, but they don't reciprocate that acknowledgment, apparently. Yeah, you better dip your head, Draco. Scrape and shuffle while you're at it. We've got our eye on you, and we're warning our daughters, too, Slytherin.

Then he tells him that he actually knew a brave Slytherin once

They totally sorted too soon on that one. Anyway, Al hasn't heard of this probably brave Slytherin. It must be another of his dad's exaggerations.

but you have the choice to ask the Hat not to condemn you immediately

See, it's our choices that show who we are. Snape could have chosen to follow Lily into Gryffindor. On the other hand, she could have chosen Slytherin first to continue her friendship with Severus. I guess she was too "nobody tells me where to go" and he was too honoring of someone's wishes to count their supposed friendship a factor. Anyway, JKR said that the Hat does not make mistakes. So this asking the Hat for a preferred House... right.

Finally, we get everyone staring at Harry because he’s famous and Ron making a joke about it.

What happened to the steam sheltering Harry from the masses? More steam, dammit. Let's blot out this whole epilogue.

When I read your deleted scene, I thought you were going to have Ginny meet up with Astoria after the train left. Shows what fanfic has done to my expectations. Strange that the Malfoy mom wasn't on the platform. And where was overprotective Narcissa when her grandson was going off to school?

Thanks for a brilliant and entertaining read-through. I, for one, am grateful I will never have to read the word "snog" again.

[montavilla.livejournal.com]

What happened to the steam sheltering Harry from the masses? More steam, dammit. Let's blot out this whole epilogue.

Yeah.... the damn steam is all over the place until the very moment when steam would make sense because the train is starting to move!

When I read your deleted scene, I thought you were going to have Ginny meet up with Astoria after the train left.

That would have been fun. I was just imagining Ginny either drinking by herself in the bar--or picking up random men.

[hello-aquitaine.livejournal.com]

I guess Percy hasn’t been completely forgiven after all.

*raises eyebrows* And you thought he’d be?

Harry tells Albus not to believe his older brother because James “likes a laugh.” Teasing brothers, lying to them, playing practical jokes on them—that’s all a laugh. It’s also a laugh to do that to other students. Unless it’s doing it to Slytherins—which is justice (pre-emptive or otherwise), or Slytherins doing it to anyone else, in which case it’s bullying. Got it. Only took me seven books!

I’m pretty sure that - metaphorically speaking - that’s the philosophy of most people. I’ll go right ahead and say it’s *my* philosophy, at least until I catch myself. Still, it probably shouldn’t be promoted in a book, especially children’s book.

Ron admits to Harry that he didn’t pass the test and used magic to cheat.

The only thing that I thought after reading that was: Hm. That does explain a lot! I bet many Wizards had the same idea.

And, since there couldn’t possibly ever be another Dark Wizard, all is well.

Ah, but there was. In fact, he attacked the train on it’s way and so, the kids had to act together before they got sorted. That’s my theory and I’m sticking to it!


Draco is prematurely balding. Take that fan girls!
*blinks* But he’s in his late thirties, don’t most guys have receding hairlines at that age? Also, I didn’t take that as a slappage, maybe because I happen to find men with receding hairlines unbearably hot;) Kind of makes them look all intelligent and manly at the same time:P

[montavilla.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I thought Percy had been forgiven just before Fred died. In the big hugging scene that Harry witnessed. What I missed completely was how much we're supposed to dislike Percy for his innate qualities, because I had always really liked Percy.

In fact, he attacked the train on it’s way and so, the kids had to act together before they got sorted. That’s my theory and I’m sticking to it!

The teachers should have staged an attack every year. That would have been great for school solidarity. :)

But he’s in his late thirties, don’t most guys have receding hairlines at that age? Also, I didn’t take that as a slappage, maybe because I happen to find men with receding hairlines unbearably hot;) Kind of makes them look all intelligent and manly at the same time:P

You're right. And probably JKR didn't mean it as a slap. But it was certainly taken that way!

[lissa2.livejournal.com]

Thank you Montavilla for all your hard work in recapping the entire DH book *raises glass*

"Of course I've read posts from readers who contend that Scorpius must be evil, like is father, because he's named Scorpius"
How enlightened.

"Prejudice against pure blood wizards is still going strong"
I really disagree with you here. Is Arthur self hating? why would he be prejudiced against pure bloods when he himself, his beloved wife and beloved children are all pure bloods?
To me it was obviously just a joke. Kind of like gay parents joking that they will disown their son if he turns up straight and brings a girl home.
Percy married Audery whose blood status is unknown. Angelina could be a pure blood.

*Two thumbs up for the comparison you made between Ron and Snape's hostility towards the next generation.

*"Teddy Lupin is snogging the daughter of Bill and Fleur"
Ugh every time I read that line where Lily says something like "I hope they'll marry then he'll be truly part of the family" I feel like vomiting.

*"Finally we get everyone staring at Harry because is famouse"
And isn't Albus the only one who doesn't understand why?(he has obviously inherited his father's wit)
It's even more hilarious when you take into account that Ginny is supposed to be a mega celebrity too, what a dummy Albus is lol.

[montavilla.livejournal.com]

To me it was obviously just a joke. Kind of like gay parents joking that they will disown their son if he turns up straight and brings a girl home.

I'm sure Ron means it as a joke. But he's saying it to his 11 year old daughter. Of course she's going to internalize the message.

Heck, maybe Hagrid was joking when he told Harry that no evil wizard went to any House but Slytherin. Harry took it seriously.

Percy married Audery whose blood status is unknown. Angelina could be a pure blood.

Thanks. I wasn't sure about who Percy actually married. Of course, there'd be no need to disown Percy for marrying a pureblood, since he was already disowned for being pompous!

Ugh every time I read that line where Lily says something like "I hope they'll marry then he'll be truly part of the family" I feel like vomiting.

The line leaves a nasty taste in my mouth, too. And it doesn't make any sense, really. If Teddy married Bill and Fleur's daughter, he'd be Lily's cousin-in-law (and Harry's nephew-in-law). Is that closer to the family than godson who comes over to eat dinner four times a week? I see my cousins about every five years.

It's even more hilarious when you take into account that Ginny is supposed to be a mega celebrity too, what a dummy Albus is lol.

I got the feeling that all the kids were puzzled by the attention. Like they all grew up on Neverland Ranch.

[artystone.livejournal.com]

Really, besides the fact this was a horrible end to a horrible book, it leaves the following questions.
1. Why does Slytherin House exist still?
2. Is little James' innate bullying supposed to be the proof that Big James "grew up and acted decently" after a being such a douchebag at Hogwarts?
3.Is Albus's snivelling supposed to be a comment on not matter how courageous Harry clames Snape was, in the end he was, and always will be, Snivellus?
4. If Ron has to "cheat" to pass a driving test, why didn't he just go all out and enchant a gnome to do it for him?
5. Hugo? Really? Is that the only "H" name they could come up with? Why do they have to be "R" and "H" anyway? Oh, I know. Fics.
6. How long does it take to come up with such incredibly stupid names for anyone in the Malfoy clan?
7. Fic logic again: Scorpius is not evil, he's PIUS. *sigh* The mythical good slytherin? Maybe Draco saved his vicar's robes for him. Or maybe he'll just "Scor(e)" alot. With Rose, obviously.
8. Prejudice, prejudice, prejudice. Voldemort is gone, so now what's their excuse?

9. WTF JKR? Couldn't she just leave bad enough alone?


Speed bump. ROFL.

[montavilla.livejournal.com]

1. Evil people still need a place to go. The nice thing about Slytherin is that it's conveniently located in the dungeons. Just like Scumblecrumb is located near the dumpsters.

2. I don't see any indication that Little James will be anything but a douchebag when he's grown up.

3. I find little Albus somewhat endearing. But his timidity is quite a contrast to James's cockiness.

5. Howard comes to mind immediately. As does Harry. When you think about it, it would be a lot more like Ron and Hermione to name their kid after their best friend, wouldn't it? Then again, people seem to prefer naming their children after dead people.

7. I like Maya's nickname for him: Score. In her excellent "Coda to an Epilogue," he gets that name from his prowess at Quidditch, not at courting, since he's only 11. :)

[night-axe.livejournal.com]

When the epilogue was leaked separately I assumed it was a fake. It read like a mediocre fic. Bland, depthless and entirely taken up with establishing that the main characters have spawned. There's a difference between the idea that Harry deserves a happy ending, and the implication that the most important outcome of VoldWar II was Harry Potter getting married and having kids.

Harry tells Albus not to believe his older brother because James “likes a laugh.”

I'm inclined to agree that James is a bully. Harry clearly thinks it's normal give-and-take sibling rivalry, remarking complacently that "you and Al will share a room only when I want the house demolished". But the text shows James picking on a vulnerable younger boy. I have no doubt that Harry would be too invested in his fantasy of the perfect family to recognize bullying right under his nose.

Besides, James comes by it honestly. Look at his family tree. JKR seems to have a soft spot for little popular Gryffindor bullies. Not that she approves, exactly, but they're so cheeky and adorable when they're hurting people!

And here’s Ron threatening to disinherit his daughter if she doesn’t get into Gryffindor.

*headdesk* One: Ron isn't totally kidding. He's exaggerating for humorous effect, yes, but of course he wants his daughter in Gryffindor and outdoing Malfoy junior. If he truly didn't care he wouldn't bring it up. Two: like you said above, she will take him seriously ("Albus and Rose looked solemn"). Between Ron's and Hermione's expectations, Rose will be lucky if she doesn't have a breakdown in her teens.

Teddy Lupin is through with school and “snogging” the daughter of Bill and Fleur. Plus, he’s close to the family already through being Harry’s godson.

Ick at the Weasleyborg. That's why Scorpius/Rose, which some have inferred by contraries from Ron's continuing resentment of the Malfoys, nauseates me. It's as much as to say no one can escape the ideologically and reproductively triumphant Weasley collective.

Wrt Scorpius' name: just for the record the poor kid's middle name, Hyperion, probably comes from the Greengrasses. In Greek mythology the titan Hyperion was the uncle of Asteria, goddess of dreams and oracles (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyperion_(mythology)). (I know JKR apparently spells it "Astoria", but I'm pretty sure she meant to name Draco's wife after the goddess and not the hotel.)

I gather JKR's stated Scorpius is "an improvement on his father", and there's really no reason to believe differently. However, in my personal fanon Lily Luna is the next Dark Lord and it'll be her parents' fault for ignoring her in favor of their sons.

Albus Severus: the baggage omg. It's like having a son in 1945 and naming him Stalin Winston Potter.

And that’s the moral of the story, I guess. Maybe you were born into that quarter of the population naturally inclined to evil—but you have the choice to ask the Hat not to condemn you immediately.

I fear you're right, but the idea that students can dictate to the Hat makes nonsense of the whole system of Sorting by hat. It'd be quicker and easier to send in an application for your preferred House. Besides, the Hat wasn't going to put Harry in Slytherin in the first place. It's just that he blurted "Not Slytherin" before it had a chance to say anything.

[merrymelody.livejournal.com]

the poor kid's middle name, Hyperion, probably comes from the Greengrasses

Draco let his wife have a say in the kids name? No wonder OBHWF are scowling disapprovingly! He's clearly still not as Manly as Harry (not Ron, though - I'm guessing Hugo, at the very least, was named by Hermione. It's pretentious, so it fits her.) with the little woman under his thumb.

[anaid-rabbit.livejournal.com]

That DVD EXTRA was just GLORIOUS! Thanks so much for having had the stomach to finish this thing.

[montavilla.livejournal.com]

You're welcome. It hasn't quite sunk in yet that I made it all the way through!

[tdotm.livejournal.com]

Firstly, thanks for all the time and morale sapping work you’ve put into this. I can’t even be bothered to re-read DH for myself, so to have to study it in the sort of depth needed to re-cap, strikes me as a living nightmare.

---“People have called this epilogue treacle-y, but the sweetness is good after all that action and angst.”

No it isn’t.

---“ Ginny is not to be trifled with.”

No sh*t? Seeing as she has to be subservient to the Mighty Potter 24/7, yet we know what a total bitch she is, there’s only one possibility. The children get it in the neck from their mum. Poor bastards.

---“Harry tells Albus not to believe his older brother because James “likes a laugh.” Teasing brothers, lying to them, playing practical jokes on them—that’s all a laugh.”

The fact that the twins were presumably supposed to be admired for their increasing nastiness indicates that this is exactly how JKR thinks. Not to mention James’ hideous grandpa and namesake.


Ginny is dead – hurrah! Actually, I suspect that the magic that helped Ron pass his test would help him drive a lot more safely than the average Muggle – which is why I didn’t care much when I read about Ron faking his test. It happens too much amongst Muggles I’m afraid, plus the increase in driving whilst drunk/high/on a mobile etc. If Ron could fly from London to Scotland aged 12, he’s probably still better than the average driver in London (she said, from bitter, London born and bred, experience).

If someone had to die instantly, it should have been Hermione – one of the biggest failures in characterization of the series. Harry/Dumbles etc. were in trouble by OotP, but Hermione was on the way down in PoA. Not because she told on Harry’s mysterious new broom – that was saving him from his own stupid self. More because of the inflexibility with which she refused to accept that Crookshanks might have had something to do with Scabbers disappearance. She had no idea that Scabbers was Pettigrew - she just seemed more interested in defending her cat, than understanding why Ron might be so upset/hurt after a losing a family pet of 12 years. I remember being startled at her as I read. She didn’t have to accept any guilt, just not be a hard as nails, compassion-free b*tch. She was stressed out in PoA, it's true, but it was sadly a recurring theme in the later books and compounded when Lavender’s bunny died. She wanted to prove herself right about Divination, & ignored how her words might affect Lavender – no wonder she had no other friends. JKR was probably at her best in PoA, she knew exactly what she was doing - she *deliberately* wanted Hermione to come across as more interested in her own intellectual beliefs than other people’s feelings (SPEW?) and I never understood why. It wasn’t a learning curve – there was nothing like that in this series - plus Hermione actually got worse over time. At the beginning, Ron and Hermione were my favourite characters – so I'm bitter at how she turned out!

My final plan for Ginny – the character I went from ignoring, to hating with a passion that risks my blood pressure - would involve total humiliation and a long painful goodbye. It was inconceivable that JKR should handle her so badly. It wasn’t because she suddenly became such a Mary-Sue – I’m not so admiring of JKR’s writing abilities that I’d find that surprising – but because she was so *unlikeable*. JKR could have made her sweet and humorous and brave and irresistible. Instead, despite basically starting from scratch in Book 5, she constantly added scenes which made her seem like a right cow. I should have rolled my eyes at her perfection, not wanted to rip the pages out of the books with my teeth. To summarize, JKR’s idea of what it means to be ‘nice’ differs quite strongly from mine.

I still wish we’d found out that that Voldemort’s last bit of soul had latched on to Harry’s and the Dark Lord lived again!! Though gay sex with Draco is a good enough alternative – he could always wear a toupee...

I’m looking forward to PoA, but is it the book or the film? I quite enjoyed the book, though it’s probably lost a little something with hindsight....

[oryx_leucoryx]

Actually, I suspect that the magic that helped Ron pass his test would help him drive a lot more safely than the average Muggle – which is why I didn’t care much when I read about Ron faking his test.

The magic that helped him pass the test is Confundus. He said he could use a supersensory charm instead of looking in the mirror, he didn't say he actually did so. Since we can't trust Ron to actually use that charm and we can't trust him to use the mirror we can't trust him to drive safely.

f someone had to die instantly, it should have been Hermione – one of the biggest failures in characterization of the series. ... JKR was probably at her best in PoA, she knew exactly what she was doing - she *deliberately* wanted Hermione to come across as more interested in her own intellectual beliefs than other people’s feelings (SPEW?) and I never understood why.

Curiously in one of the never-ending interviews Rowling said "And I think that she was-- I mean, I love Hermione. She went with Ron and Harry because she has a really good heart. That's not about brain. Ultimately, she had a bigger heart than she had a brain, and that's saying something for Hermione."

So there may have been at some point the intent of Hermione growing some heart but it got nowhere (or at least wasn't convincing). We see some of that attempt with the house-elves - she starts SPEW very principled but completely without thought about their own feelings. In OOTP when Dobby comes to the ROR to warn the DA she sees he is wearing all the hats which makes her realize her attitude was wrong. She attempts to correct this by being 'nice' to Kreacher - for example praising his part in the mission to tail Draco (wrong-headed again - Kreacher didn't want praise for that - it was a mission he was only doing by force of his master's command, but would have rather not been doing) or attempting to explain his pro-Voldemort stance (she was getting there but not quite - she got the point that elves have their own psychology but I don't think she really understood how it worked). Eventually Kreacher becomes civil with her because Master Harry acknowledged Kreacher's service to Regulus and thus became worthy of Kreacher's service, so Kreacher was willing to treat his friends according to his wishes.

[eir-de-scania.livejournal.com]

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[montavilla.livejournal.com]

That's amazing how well it fits. I love how Hermione is twenty years older than everyone else. :)

[montavilla.livejournal.com]

They're very fun to write. I've been reading a comment series in an earlier chapter and Hello Aquitaine said something about how JKR leaves such gaping holes in the stories that people naturally want to fill them in--either with stories or theories.

I think s/he hit it right on the head. It's probably one reason that, even though we're the invisible (outside the Internet) minority that disliked the last book(s), we still enjoy the whole HPness of it all. Enough to keep coming here to laugh at it, anyway. :)

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

God, I hate lj. This never showed up on my flist so today I got the bright idea to check for it! *APPLAUSE!!*

Now I have to read the comments!

[ioanna-ioannina.livejournal.com]

Thank you for doing this. I admire you that you had the stomach to read That Book once again from the beginnig to the end. I would not. :-))
Thanks for the oportunity to laugh at The Moste Terrible Book with you!
Your DVD Extra are perfect!!!

[horridporrid.livejournal.com]

Eep! You finished! :D My hat is off to you, and a ton of massive thanks for doing this read through. I put DH down, vowing to never open it again (gave the entire series away actually), so it was nice to get a slightly-removed second read (with you doing the heavy-lifting, again, thank you) and confirmation that, Yes. It really was that bad.

It's still slightly stunning that JKR viewed a happy ending as the WW going back to how it was...at the beginning of the series. :{ I remember thinking about all the things we'd been shown as being horribly, horribly wrong with the WW and wondering how JKR was going to show the turnaround. Silly me. ;)

The DVD extra: I loved the bit with Teddy. :) But my dislike of all the actual characters (ie characters we know via JKR rather then our own imaginations) is strong enough that I honestly dislike reading about them.

You did a good job writing the thing (I felt sorry for Ginny, again! *g*), but... oh, Draco, run from Harry! Run like he's about to set your house on fire!! (Because he probably is: with your children inside.)

Wow wonderful ending

[urbanman1984.livejournal.com]

You are a far better writer than JKR. Couldn't you have made Ron and Hermione crash, please please please?