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POA: Chapter Two

Aunt Marge's Big Mistake

*As the title implies, she was just asking for it. Everyone is always asking for it in Harry's world. We should be glad that Harry is around to give it to them. As well as his friend Hermione. Never mind the fact that giving somebody what they had coming is NOT an acceptable alibi in court. Muggle Court that is. But then again, muggles are stoopid. Stupid Habeas Corpus.

*This wonderful chapter begins with the narrator gleefully explaining how FAT Dudley is. Let us all laugh at his five wobbling chins. Laughing at evil fat people is good for the soul and expresses all encompassing love.

*Dudley has a brand new TV in the kitchen. Because he is too FAT and lazy to walk from the living room to the kitchen. Because he is soooo FAT and keeps eating. Ummm, isn't it a common practice to have a little TV in the kitchen? You know, to watch the morning news and such? Or is it only FAT people who have TVs in their kitchens? Damn it what am I thinking? TVS are medieval, we should all just watch wizard pictures.

*The narrator laments Harry's uncelebrated birthday. But Harry is too used to this to care. Besides he had done all his birthday wanking at 1AM.

*Pssst...by the way, did you know that Uncle Vernon is F-A-T? Go ahead and laugh. When you laugh at evil fat people it negates the need to attend confession or church or temple or mosque.

*Oh gee, the WW decided to give Sirius Black warnings to medieval muggles. Real Gems they are.

*A picture of Black's face is on the TV. But he is THIN. Which means he isn't evil. If he was really evil, he would be FAT.

*Why isn't Riddle FAT?

*Aunt Petunia isn't fat but very fugly. The fugliness negates her good, unfat nature. It balances it out. I suppose.

*Aunt Petunia looks out the window, searching for the unfat Black. Because she probably knows him. In fact she is very silent regarding Black.

*Harry thinks that Petunia would love to turn in Black because she is sooooooo nosy. She would just want the notoriety, not because she wanted to help her family. Remember she isn't fat but really fugly.

*Then Fat Vernon does it, he states that Aunt Marge is coming to visit.

*Harry wanks that he is forced to call Marge, Aunt Marge, even though Aunt Marge is not related to Petunia. I don't know how it is in the WW, but here in the medieval muggle world we like to believe that marriage turns two families into one. So yes, Harry, Marge is your AUNT. If you want to be technical, she would be your Aunt-in-law.

*Please explain and justify the craptacular grammar of this sentence
...each of her visits stood out horribly vividly in Harry's mind

*Just in case we wanted to know, the narrator describes each visit in a vividly style.

*Marge is really mean to Harry. But is she FAT? Neither Harry or the Narrator say so...yet.

*Vernon points his "fat finger" at Harry and warns him to be decent to Marge.

*Harry equates Marge's visit to being his worst Birthday gift ever. Its all about Harry.

*The Dursley's have been telling Marge that Harry attends a juvenile delinquent school called "St. Brutus' Secure Center for Incurable Criminal Boys." They aren't that far wrong, all things considering.

*Harry very masterfully blackmails Vernon to give him permission for Hogsmeade trips. It was very machiavellian and rather impressive behavior on Harry's 13 year self. But will he remember to do that again when he needs to in year six? No, we don't get blackmail, we get "Drink this, Professor".

*Aunt Marge arrives.

*Aunt Marge is FAT.

*Just in case the reader didn't know, Dudley is fat and he is wearing a bow tie under his five chins.

*Aunt Marge tells Harry she would have sent him to an orphanage. Harry thinks that he would prefer an orphanage. But Harry is NOT like Riddle. Harry has the power of love and the ability to laugh at fat people.

*Aunt Marge stays a whole week and tortures Harry by buying a lot of gifts for Dudley. Its not about an Aunt taking joy in her nephew, its about abusing Harry. Its all about Harry.

*On her last night, true to her fat nature, Aunt Marge insults Harry and his parents.

*Harry pulls a "Carrie" and turns Aunt Marge into a human zeppelin.

*In the middle of this big scene, Harry decides to run away from home.

*"She deserved it," Harry said, breathing very fast. "She deserved what she got."

*So was Harry's punishment of Marge by accident or intention?

*That statement is the justification for Harry's behavior in the whole series. This is the theme, we all get whats coming to us and we DESERVE it. Especially if we are fat. Because fat means evil.

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Of course! Being insanely beautiful or handsome means that you are lacking in character, sense or morals.

Why can't we all be unhandsome in a handsome way like Harry?

Nah, Harry is allowed to 'have changed during the summer' and become a STUD! TEH HAWT SEXXOR!!!!11 Ginny (blarf) is Suddenly Feisty and Hawt as well. They are the reincarnation of Saint James and Ubersaint Lily! Student swoon and drool as they pass the hallowed halls of Hogwarts (don't you just LOVE allitteration?) and this is as it should be, just because. So there.

OTOH, pointy Draco who had got 'gleaming hair' and suchlike is Suddenly Tall but Ravaged. If JKR didn't want him to be sexy, she was surely off the mark in HBP. Because, y'know, there's handsome and then there's handsome; the latter being a hero's prerogative.

Tommy Riddle was super-yummy, but he made himself super-ugly, Gollum-like, because he's TEH EBOL ONE!!11! Harry, was scrawny and nerdy and, let's face it, shit ugly, but the unconquerable power of LOVE made him super-yummy, so it all balances. The main thing, the really main thing is not to be fat. Fat is beneath contempt. Fat is hopeless. Fat is a sign of utter nauseating unworthiness. Fat can't even be TEH EBOL, not enough majesty to be. Fat is petty and stupid and disgusting. Fat is pathetic and ridiculous. Blarf, the fat! thank god Neville is thinning!

Wanna bet JKR is on a permanent diet or has eating disorders? She's got a really unhealthy fixation on fat.

Wanna bet JKR is on a permanent diet or has eating disorders? She's got a really unhealthy fixation on fat.

That weird rant she did about how there are more important things to be concerned about than weight, but she's thin OMG and when she weighed more it was because she was PREGNANT NOTFATNOTFATNOTFAT sort of furthers this impression.

All of her outbursts, including the fat post, are strange. She is...ahhh...quite a character.

Indeed. Muahahahahaha... it has already begun! :D

Ahem that is... a while ago, people on a message board I frequent were talking about how shocked they were when some of their favourite authors turned out to be semi-fascistic maniacs. This surprised me, because to me, it was always obvious that those authors were maniacs. Anyone who read their books should be able to see that these were people with zero tolerance for any other point of view than their own. But apparently, most people couldn't see that, and so were shocked when they read about said authors' controversial opinions.

Rowling is another author I've pegged as being a maniac. I look forward to having time test that theory. Sooner or later, her already quite large head will swell to such a size that she thinks she should have opinions on foreign policy - and if I've figured her right, she will then do as those other authors did, and prescribe carpet bombings of all non-Christian countries. =]

Hola, Jane! :D

Bah, Rowling doesn't have a clue. Fat people used to be seen as very impressive-looking, as they'd evidently managed to feed themselves properly - which was no mean feat in ancient times. I've read about a bunch of old Swedish warrior Kings who were shaped rather like pears, but who'd still have snapped skinny old Voldemort like the twig he resembles. =]

Besides, "fat" makes me think about "enjoyment." Not necessarily true, I admit - some fat people eat so much because they're depressed, and some thin people eat so little because there's so much fun to do that they just can't find the time - but still, that's the first association I make. Which might be why I like Slughorn so much, Rowling's slurs and allegations against him notwithstanding; whatever else you can say about him, he knows how to enjoy himself. I sure hope you'll be able to say the same about me when I'm in my sixties. =]

Hey, luv! HUGZ.

I don't care if people are fat, plumpy, medium, slender, thin or skeletal. I care if people are decent, intelligent and civilised. Or not, as the case may be. I find this modern fixation on body mass stupid and quite disturbing. [/lecturing mode]

Fat is a fashion thing. When showing you were rich and/or powerful enough to eat a LOT was considered TEH POSH, fat was in. When hiding that you were rich and/or powerful enough to eat a LOT was considered a VERY GOOD IDEA, thin was in. So now, naturally, thin shows one is rich and/or powerful enough to diet a LOT. Sic transeat gloria mundi.

Yes, the Rich always set fashion trends. Oh for the days when Diamond Jim Brady was considered hot, hot, hot.

Its different for women. Even during the days of feast, women were expected to be well-fed BUT fit into tiny corset constrained dresses.

Today, Marilyn Monroe would be told she is fat and she would have to go on an anorexic diet.

Women can never win.

You're thinking about victorians, methinks. Oh, and Elizabethans. The Baroque woman had to be ample. Very ample. But yes, you're quite right about the rich and Marilyn.

Methinks women can never win until they stop being gulled by images (ads, films, magazines, TV) slammed in their faces with malice aforethought. *sigh*

I've seen paintings of women according to that ideal. They looked huggable. Much preferable to the scrawny ideals of today. =]

Funny thing is, men don't even prefer women to be thin. (or at least most of them say they don't. I know I mean it, but I can't vouch for everyone else... =]) We like curves. I have no idea why the beauty ideals for women involves an appearance that no one likes.

A friend of mine blames the fashion industry. She says that designers want people to look at their clothes, not try to imagine what's under them - so they only allow models who doesn't have anything very much under them. Which would essentially mean that the current beauty ideal is to look like a human coat hanger. It's a funny world. =]

(*sighs*) Everyone's gulled by some kind of images, literally and metaphorically. Men just get a wider array of images to choose from.

canon_sues "Mary Sue Couples" discussion (http://community.livejournal.com/canon_sues/74168.html?thread=943288#t943288), Harry and Ginny are the Brangelina of Hogwarts. I'm surprised JKR didn't have wizarding paparazzi (or Colin Creevey) following them around. Probably because she didn't think of it.

Sorry for tardy reply, was gallivanting in foreign lands. :-D

I utterly agree with you about H/G and that JKR didn't think of Colin Creepy as a paparazzo stalking the good ship Mary Sue. I suppose that she thinks Sues and self-inserts are the 'normal' way to write. Or something.

After HBP, I've found Marge's words sort of prophetic, and even some of them in tune with DD's school of thought.

I swear, I've recced this essay to so many people, I'll soon be handing it out in airports in leaflet form; but Elkins did an awesome post, basically about how the Dursleys attitudes are pretty much mirrored in the attitudes to the heroes (blood tells, some people deserve corporal punishment, judging on appearances, foreign people being viewed with suspicion...)
http://www.theennead.com/elkins/hp/archives/000145.html

It's also kinda amusing how there's the little note about Aunt Marge's dog going for Harry after he trod on it's tail, and how this is the fault of the innately unpleasant animal and it's owner which totally contrasts with the rest of POA where unpleasant animals and their irresponsible owners are encouraged. And how in the movie script, Aunt Marge has a line about how she won't have any nonsense about not hitting people who deserve it (Aunt Marge for Gryffindor!) while on the movie interview with JKR, she uses a similiar line when discussing Malfoy.

I love that essay so very much.

Isn't it the best? That and the one about Harry being the elect I need to save in a word file because I refer to them constantly.

*Why isn't Riddle FAT?

Because we're supposed to take him seriously. Obesity isn't a sign of evil, it's a sign of stupidity and moral weakness which in turn might lead to evil. =]

*Harry wanks that he is forced to call Marge, Aunt Marge, even though Aunt Marge is not related to Petunia. I don't know how it is in the WW, but here in the medieval muggle world we like to believe that marriage turns two families into one. So yes, Harry, Marge is your AUNT.

Again with the "I'm not really related to these people! My real family was brave and noble and attractive!". =]

*So was Harry's punishment of Marge by accident or intention?

I don't think he meant to do it. He just didn't mind. =]

Because we're supposed to take him seriously. Obesity isn't a sign of evil, it's a sign of stupidity and moral weakness which in turn might lead to evil. =]

LOL. I can just see it now. The REAL explanation for Riddle. He used to be a fat kid and all the other orphans teased him. Then he lost weight and had to make the others pay.

I would be hilariously amused if Harry and Ginny had a Squib daughter who closely resembled Petunia.

... Only Ginny might secretly kill her, as she has murdered her better self.

Sorry for jumping in here - I can't remember how I found this community, but somehow I think it was through either Jodel or professor_mum - but I absolutely *love* your icon.

And yes, Rowling's attitude toward fat people bothers me, too. It bothers me a lot. I wonder if she has ever known anyone who had to struggle with a weight problem?

Ginny - yes. I have no idea who this girl is any more, though there was a good essay posted just now on Harry Potter Essays that pointed out she hasn't actually changed as much as we think she has -

Oh, help. I sound awfully inarticulate. I'll stop now.

Ginny - yes. I have no idea who this girl is any more, though there was a good essay posted just now on Harry Potter Essays that pointed out she hasn't actually changed as much as we think she has -

No, she changed. Its one thing to show a spunky character/future love interest and the main character not noticing and quite another to have a background character/secret love interest suddenly become Great Britain Beauty Queen. There is no connection in the books not unless the reader fills in the blanks.

I don't buy a character's brother of a friend of a friend saying A is talkative as character building. I want to see the character talk.

It was static-pixie's essay, and she points out, correctly, I believe, that Ginny is actually rather like Draco in being both cruel, self-absorbed and innocent. She's still a Mary Sue, of course, and there is no lead up to that at all. To give an obvious example, there is *no* preparation, in the text, for Ginny's being an excellent quidditch player. There could have been, easily, but there's none. We're also meant to think Ginny is a good person because she is friends with Luna. But what sticks in my mind is her first sentence about the other girl: "That's just Loony Lovegood." I can't get that introduction out of my head, and it makes Rowling's rather feeble attempt to show Ginny as a friend to Luna ring hollow.

In short, you are right that Rowling does a lot of telling and little showing where Ginny is concerned. But I think Static Pixie is also right that what she does show is a character a lot more like Draco than Harry (or most readers) would be willing to recognize.

Anyway, this hasn't got much to do with your interesting chapter walk- through. I do hate the way Rowling depicts fat people, generally, and can't believe her hypocrisy! I'm also really startled at the number of fans who insist Harry's powerful bursts of magic are motivated by love, unlike Snape's, which are motivated by anger. Wrong - Harry is motivated by anger and desire for revenge. I fail to see any love in this scene, for example. (Maybe that's just me? but I don't think so!)

I'm also really startled at the number of fans who insist Harry's powerful bursts of magic are motivated by love, unlike Snape's, which are motivated by anger. Wrong - Harry is motivated by anger and desire for revenge. I fail to see any love in this scene, for example. (Maybe that's just me? but I don't think so!)

Yes, exactly, Harry acts as the righteous judge handing out righteous and deserved punishment. That is why he can blow up Aunt Marge and cut Draco to pieces. Hermione, by association with Harry's cause, also acts in the same vein. She can disfigure another student or attack a teacher because she is good. Whatever Harry and pals do casts no shadow on them because they are righteous. Its a scary mindset and this kind of thinking is shared by religious fundamentalists of all faiths.

/Yes, exactly, Harry acts as the righteous judge handing out righteous and deserved punishment....Its a scary mindset and this kind of thinking is shared by religious fundamentalists of all faiths.

I read a book, a couple years ago actually, called the Seven Deadly Virtues and it was warning against that type of thing, being blinded by your own virtue and goodness and led to think that everything you -- or, er, in this case, Harry -- does hence is automatically good. PshhYAH.

I love this chapter. Well, your commentary of it. SO hilarious! I laughed out loud so many times... And I never registered the whole FAT = evil theme JKR has going with the Dursleys&co. But now that you've pointed it out, it's a very obvious (even to the point of being offensive) trend. (Then again, I hate how physicians and the health authorities keep raising the weight range for each height; it almost seems like they're appeasing the overweight people. But anyway!) Sistermagpie directed me here after I asked about Snarkery (shut down?!?) and this site (I, clueless as I was, actually thought they were posts made by her), fyi. And I'm so thrilled that I've found a community with ppl who don't worship JK just because she invented the series/universe/lala! I mean, of course we should be respectful of her for that, but it's not like the books are literary GENIUS; they just happened to hook a lot of kids (not to mention teens & adults).

...Then again, maybe I'm completely misconstruing the views and attitudes of the LJ users here.

The whole...picking each chapter apart deal totally reminds me of MST-ing (and maybe that's the intention?), which I LOVE because vicious snark done all in good fun FEEDS MY SOUL. XD

And thank you for bringing up the craptastic grammar and ALL ABOUT HARRY-NESS! He IS so self-absorbed! Sure, the books are from his POV but still! In GoF, with Seamus and even Dumbledore to an extent. Anyone who doesn't buy his story and who isn't on his side just...doesn't exist to him anymore! And I think he was being pretty insensitive with Cho. (Of course, I don't really understand why he liked her in the first place. And apparently they really *didn't* have anything in common besides Quidditch and Cedric and well, I'm being insensitive myself now by saying this but one of those things is...dead, sooo...yeah.) And I find it very hard to buy the Harry-must-live-with-the-Dursleys thing. Yeah, Petunia, blood, blah blah... but they don't REALLY have any authority over him. And they don't seem like the type of people to physically abuse him, like with violence and beatings. He could've asserted his rebellious side during those first 11 years. But then perhaps the reader wouldn't have been as sympathetic to his plight. Oh whatever. I'm rambling now. And I don't want to give the impression that I don't like Harry because I do. I love Harry, and his life has NOT been great, but he does indeed have oh-so-many flaws. Which, ironically, most ppl in the WW don't seem to notice. Well, Malfoy picks up on the pompous and self-righteous thing...but everyone else (or should I say, everyone who *matters* (i.e., the Gryffindors & their allies)) thinks he's a pompous git himself, so there goes that.

Whoo... The point is! Love the snark! Can't wait to read more!

I'm glad you liked the snark!

I look at the HP books as popular entertainment in the ranks of thriller writers like Tom Clancy. Whether or not they will be included with great children's literature like Dahl's books won't be decided until we are all dead. But I see them staying popular, easy reads.

And I find it very hard to buy the Harry-must-live-with-the-Dursleys thing. Yeah, Petunia, blood, blah blah... but they don't REALLY have any authority over him. And they don't seem like the type of people to physically abuse him, like with violence and beatings.

I think Rowling was going for that Harry Eyre feel. No doubt we will get some kind of confession from Petunia in 7.

But Jane Eyre was never a sob story. Harry is always feeling bad for himself and then pretending he doesn't. He is the biggest tragedy he knows. Ron is the opposite, he keeps screaming "Pity Me" then just rolls with the punches.:D

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POA: Chapter Two

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ginny-

Re: ginny-

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