POA: Chapter Two

[kaskait.livejournal.com]

Aunt Marge's Big Mistake

*As the title implies, she was just asking for it. Everyone is always asking for it in Harry's world. We should be glad that Harry is around to give it to them. As well as his friend Hermione. Never mind the fact that giving somebody what they had coming is NOT an acceptable alibi in court. Muggle Court that is. But then again, muggles are stoopid. Stupid Habeas Corpus.

*This wonderful chapter begins with the narrator gleefully explaining how FAT Dudley is. Let us all laugh at his five wobbling chins. Laughing at evil fat people is good for the soul and expresses all encompassing love.

*Dudley has a brand new TV in the kitchen. Because he is too FAT and lazy to walk from the living room to the kitchen. Because he is soooo FAT and keeps eating. Ummm, isn't it a common practice to have a little TV in the kitchen? You know, to watch the morning news and such? Or is it only FAT people who have TVs in their kitchens? Damn it what am I thinking? TVS are medieval, we should all just watch wizard pictures.

*The narrator laments Harry's uncelebrated birthday. But Harry is too used to this to care. Besides he had done all his birthday wanking at 1AM.

*Pssst...by the way, did you know that Uncle Vernon is F-A-T? Go ahead and laugh. When you laugh at evil fat people it negates the need to attend confession or church or temple or mosque.

*Oh gee, the WW decided to give Sirius Black warnings to medieval muggles. Real Gems they are.

*A picture of Black's face is on the TV. But he is THIN. Which means he isn't evil. If he was really evil, he would be FAT.

*Why isn't Riddle FAT?

*Aunt Petunia isn't fat but very fugly. The fugliness negates her good, unfat nature. It balances it out. I suppose.

*Aunt Petunia looks out the window, searching for the unfat Black. Because she probably knows him. In fact she is very silent regarding Black.

*Harry thinks that Petunia would love to turn in Black because she is sooooooo nosy. She would just want the notoriety, not because she wanted to help her family. Remember she isn't fat but really fugly.

*Then Fat Vernon does it, he states that Aunt Marge is coming to visit.

*Harry wanks that he is forced to call Marge, Aunt Marge, even though Aunt Marge is not related to Petunia. I don't know how it is in the WW, but here in the medieval muggle world we like to believe that marriage turns two families into one. So yes, Harry, Marge is your AUNT. If you want to be technical, she would be your Aunt-in-law.

*Please explain and justify the craptacular grammar of this sentence
...each of her visits stood out horribly vividly in Harry's mind

*Just in case we wanted to know, the narrator describes each visit in a vividly style.

*Marge is really mean to Harry. But is she FAT? Neither Harry or the Narrator say so...yet.

*Vernon points his "fat finger" at Harry and warns him to be decent to Marge.

*Harry equates Marge's visit to being his worst Birthday gift ever. Its all about Harry.

*The Dursley's have been telling Marge that Harry attends a juvenile delinquent school called "St. Brutus' Secure Center for Incurable Criminal Boys." They aren't that far wrong, all things considering.

*Harry very masterfully blackmails Vernon to give him permission for Hogsmeade trips. It was very machiavellian and rather impressive behavior on Harry's 13 year self. But will he remember to do that again when he needs to in year six? No, we don't get blackmail, we get "Drink this, Professor".

*Aunt Marge arrives.

*Aunt Marge is FAT.

*Just in case the reader didn't know, Dudley is fat and he is wearing a bow tie under his five chins.

*Aunt Marge tells Harry she would have sent him to an orphanage. Harry thinks that he would prefer an orphanage. But Harry is NOT like Riddle. Harry has the power of love and the ability to laugh at fat people.

*Aunt Marge stays a whole week and tortures Harry by buying a lot of gifts for Dudley. Its not about an Aunt taking joy in her nephew, its about abusing Harry. Its all about Harry.

*On her last night, true to her fat nature, Aunt Marge insults Harry and his parents.

*Harry pulls a "Carrie" and turns Aunt Marge into a human zeppelin.

*In the middle of this big scene, Harry decides to run away from home.

*"She deserved it," Harry said, breathing very fast. "She deserved what she got."

*So was Harry's punishment of Marge by accident or intention?

*That statement is the justification for Harry's behavior in the whole series. This is the theme, we all get whats coming to us and we DESERVE it. Especially if we are fat. Because fat means evil.

Comments

[jacksmadeline.livejournal.com]

/Yes, exactly, Harry acts as the righteous judge handing out righteous and deserved punishment....Its a scary mindset and this kind of thinking is shared by religious fundamentalists of all faiths.

I read a book, a couple years ago actually, called the Seven Deadly Virtues and it was warning against that type of thing, being blinded by your own virtue and goodness and led to think that everything you -- or, er, in this case, Harry -- does hence is automatically good. PshhYAH.


I love this chapter. Well, your commentary of it. SO hilarious! I laughed out loud so many times... And I never registered the whole FAT = evil theme JKR has going with the Dursleys&co. But now that you've pointed it out, it's a very obvious (even to the point of being offensive) trend. (Then again, I hate how physicians and the health authorities keep raising the weight range for each height; it almost seems like they're appeasing the overweight people. But anyway!) Sistermagpie directed me here after I asked about Snarkery (shut down?!?) and this site (I, clueless as I was, actually thought they were posts made by her), fyi. And I'm so thrilled that I've found a community with ppl who don't worship JK just because she invented the series/universe/lala! I mean, of course we should be respectful of her for that, but it's not like the books are literary GENIUS; they just happened to hook a lot of kids (not to mention teens & adults).

...Then again, maybe I'm completely misconstruing the views and attitudes of the LJ users here.

The whole...picking each chapter apart deal totally reminds me of MST-ing (and maybe that's the intention?), which I LOVE because vicious snark done all in good fun FEEDS MY SOUL. XD

And thank you for bringing up the craptastic grammar and ALL ABOUT HARRY-NESS! He IS so self-absorbed! Sure, the books are from his POV but still! In GoF, with Seamus and even Dumbledore to an extent. Anyone who doesn't buy his story and who isn't on his side just...doesn't exist to him anymore! And I think he was being pretty insensitive with Cho. (Of course, I don't really understand why he liked her in the first place. And apparently they really *didn't* have anything in common besides Quidditch and Cedric and well, I'm being insensitive myself now by saying this but one of those things is...dead, sooo...yeah.) And I find it very hard to buy the Harry-must-live-with-the-Dursleys thing. Yeah, Petunia, blood, blah blah... but they don't REALLY have any authority over him. And they don't seem like the type of people to physically abuse him, like with violence and beatings. He could've asserted his rebellious side during those first 11 years. But then perhaps the reader wouldn't have been as sympathetic to his plight. Oh whatever. I'm rambling now. And I don't want to give the impression that I don't like Harry because I do. I love Harry, and his life has NOT been great, but he does indeed have oh-so-many flaws. Which, ironically, most ppl in the WW don't seem to notice. Well, Malfoy picks up on the pompous and self-righteous thing...but everyone else (or should I say, everyone who *matters* (i.e., the Gryffindors & their allies)) thinks he's a pompous git himself, so there goes that.

Whoo... The point is! Love the snark! Can't wait to read more!

[kaskait.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you liked the snark!

I look at the HP books as popular entertainment in the ranks of thriller writers like Tom Clancy. Whether or not they will be included with great children's literature like Dahl's books won't be decided until we are all dead. But I see them staying popular, easy reads.

And I find it very hard to buy the Harry-must-live-with-the-Dursleys thing. Yeah, Petunia, blood, blah blah... but they don't REALLY have any authority over him. And they don't seem like the type of people to physically abuse him, like with violence and beatings.

I think Rowling was going for that Harry Eyre feel. No doubt we will get some kind of confession from Petunia in 7.

But Jane Eyre was never a sob story. Harry is always feeling bad for himself and then pretending he doesn't. He is the biggest tragedy he knows. Ron is the opposite, he keeps screaming "Pity Me" then just rolls with the punches.:D