PoA Chapter Seven

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Malfoy returns to class acting as if he’s the survivor of some heroic battle. Which only Harry actually is, btw.

Even more shocking, Malfoy is marginally interested in girls when he plays the part of stoic sufferer to Pansy. Draco’s such a Mama’s boy.

Snape tells the class to settle down and Harry and Ron indignantly think about how if they’d walked in late they’d have gotten detention because Malfoy’s allowed to get away with anything in Snape’s class. Okay, hold on. No he isn’t. Nobody is. The Trio’s actually probably got a worse record in Snape’s class than Malfoy does—he likes Snape so he behaves.

And here, he hasn’t actually done anything wrong. Even if Snape would have given detention to Harry and Ron here, he’d have been wrong to do so. So it’s not like Malfoy’s getting away with anything.

Malfoy does display enough intelligence to annoy Ron. But that doesn’t take much.

Draco drawls to Snape that he needs something else done so Harry has to do it. If I was Harry or Ron here I’d have started laughing too by this point. Draco’s being a dick, but just the little stinker kind. Ron and Harry react to him like he’s being evil.

This book is generally a favorite because the Sirius reveal is great. But that gives JKR the problem of having no real villain, since Sirius isn’t trying to hurt Harry and neither is Peter. So she comes up with the Buckbeak story instead. Only the Buckbeak story is a non-issue, because it’s basically the story of an inept guy given a teaching position through favoritism who shouldn’t be hiding behind a bunch of kids to save his ass anyway. And that means the villain role falls to a kid whose crime is making a mistake in class and being unsympathetic about the consequences. Even the innocent animal isn’t innocent since it attacks Draco for the same reasons everyone else in canon does.

Harry’s shaking with anger now because Draco says his father’s made complaints about Hagrid. Even if I didn’t like Draco I couldn’t think of this as some huge injustice that Hagrid’s job is in trouble, especially when I know Hagrid is a bad teacher who can’t be fired because of Dumbledore.

This is why the series often depends on seemingly unimportant things like loving Hagrid. If you don’t see Hagrid being fired any differently than Harry sees Trelawney being fired, it’s hard to get worked up.

Oh! Here’s that big moment where Snape threatens to poison Trevor and totally would have done it too because he’s evil! I really don’t think the scene’s meant to be taken as seriously as Ron and Harry take everything in it. Even little kids get that Snape isn’t really going to poison the toad. In the next book he’s threatening to poison everybody.

Seamus reports Sirius has been sighted by a Muggle who thinks he’s just an ordinary criminal. Which he actually is. Okay yeah, he’s a wizard, but get over yourselves, guys. There are Muggles who have killed more people at once than Sirius.

I love the way Malfoy’s such a pariah amongst the heroes that whenever he’s needed as part of the story he’s always got to be forcing himself into a conversation between people who are glaring at him and wishing him dead.

Luckily Malfoy’s face is always twisting into various positions of “malicious,” “mean,” “nasty,” and “malevolent” so we know they’re just reacting to him like the cowardly demon he is. He should really be perched on Harry’s shoulder like an imp.

Can’t help but imagine what Ron and Harry look like from Draco’s pov. I suppose various stages of “morally outraged,” “righteously angry,” “heroically protective,” and “Crucio-level indignant.”

Draco’s bad jokes always have to over-played so Harry can notice (as if he’s not always checking Draco out), but give him a really dramatic moment and the boy knows how to play it just right. He draws Harry into the truth about Sirius “quietly,” “breathing” his lines instead of speaking them. And people wonder why H/D is so popular?

Still, why is Draco the only person telling Harry this story? Besides the obvious meta-reasons? Just like in GoF, Draco’s actually surprised that he knows more about Harry’s life than Harry does. Presidents of the fanclub probably often do!

Also, Hermione pops in and out of the scene after class, because she just Time Traveled. Despite knowing that Time Turners exist, and that they live in a world of magic, it doesn’t occur to Ron to think Hermione’s done anything magical. After all, it wouldn’t be OOC for her to have started Apparating early. (If Hermione heard that theory we all know she’d tell them you can’t Apparate inside Hogwarts.)

Lupin tells them to put away their books, which by now we know is code for “good teacher.”

Lupin mentions Filch, whom the narrator tells us is constantly waging a war against the students. By grumbling at them as he cleans up their messes.

Can’t wait until Harry starts heroically hexing the guy in a few years to put him in his place. Uppity squib janitors are the worst!

Snape leaves the teacher’s lounge when they come in, taking care to get in a last shot at Neville for letting Hermione help him in Potions. Well, really so that Lupin has a sense of what’s going on with Neville so he can give him some of that confidence that is the basis for all ability in good people.

Lupin might have thought he was out of practice humiliating Snape but 20 years later, Moony’s still got it!

Harry finds it hard to answer with Hermione bobbing up and down on the balls of her feet and waving her hand next to him. Hee! Hermione was so cute. A little young for 14 (which she would be by this point) but still.

I once did a post on how books 3-6 are like one book for each house? And this one’s totally the Gryffindor book, so there’s a big theme about courage. Hagrid’s class required some already, but now we’ve got a Boggart, which is pretty entirely about being able to laugh at fear.

A lot of people used to point to Snape’s being Neville’s boggart as proof that Snape really was Satan as a teacher, since he’s beating out every other fear for a kid whose parents were tortured into insanity. To me it more just says that Neville didn’t witness his parents’ torture and he’s had a relatively normal life so has a normal kid fear of a mean teacher.

I love that Harry can’t even think of how to make a Dementor less frightening. Because Nazgul rip-offs are just so terrifying they can’t be funny. Start with a pair of tap shoes and a hoodie and work from there Harry, jeez. Family Guy got a whole character out of it.

Heh. That reminds me of a LOTR fic. I think it was called “The Littlest Nazgul” where Frodo did become a wraith. The other Nazgul were annoyed at having to get him a black pony, and the fact that he called the pony Mushroom.

Seamus’ greatest fear is of course a banshee. If you cut Seamus open every Irish stereotype in the world would spill out.

Lupin’s boggart was the moon, of course.

And again with the courage theme, Harry’s still obsessing over his humiliating faint on the train and thinks Lupin kept him from facing the boggart because he didn’t trust him not to faint again.

I’m going to give some props to Lavender here for wondering why Lupin’s afraid of crystal balls. And JKR for calling attention to it without really calling attention to it.


Things happening twice:
While Ron and Hermione don’t get why, Harry becomes actually interested in Draco when he starts talking about taking action in revenge for your family, which will happen again in HBP.
Harry will also have the urge to show off for Cho the same way Malfoy is here. It just takes him a couple of years.
A Boggart shows up again in OotP.
Neville seems to have as much trouble as Draco when it comes to listening in class, and Potions has been known to also cause violent accidents. Only here it’s not Neville’s fault.

It’s a gun. No it isn’t! It’s Chekov! No it isn’t!
Lupin’s boggart
Since Lavender brings our attention to it, and we hear about everyone else’s, it’s got to be something.
Status: Fired with a mighty bang!
Malfoy’s cryptic remarks
He says if it were his family he wouldn’t just go to school like a good boy.
Status: Fired—he actually would take some action.

OMG, Hermione didn’t get to face her boggart!
What if she has to face one in the future?
Status: Fired, but harmlessly. I can’t remember if it’s at the end of this year or during her OWLS, but she can’t do it right. She should have just thought to make McGonagall’s face break out in pustules that said “Old Maid” or something.





Misdirected Answering
I know the Boggart class was an elaborate set up for a couple of things, but I don’t remember Boggarts ever really being important. Especially once the big tragic scene in OotP points out that adult fears tend to be a lot harder to make funny.

Jabootu Score: 1