COS Chapter Ten: "The Rogue Bludger"

[for-diddled.livejournal.com]

 

Sorry this is a bit late; I’m afraid RL has been a bit hectic over the past few days.

 

 

* I wish we could see the Slytherin DADA lessons. Draco’s probably very good at doing the re-enactments. I bet he volunteers for all the parts, and hams everything up wonderfully.

* Or he did, at any rate, until Lockhart realised he was being upstaged and started choosing other people to come up.

* For all that people seem to think of Slughorn as some sort of “pervy boy-fancier”, I personally find the image of Lockhart sitting on top of Harry while Harry moans to be much more disturbing than anything Horace ever does.

* Again, I wish I could read Draco’s homework. He probably wrote a John Milton-esque epic poem. Hermione’s would be interesting too.

* Tomorrow’s assignment will be writing an essay on why nobody ever though to do the Homorphus charm on Lupin.

* It’s not surprising that Lockhart was seeker: a role where you’re literally the only person who matters would probably suit him down to the ground.

* Lockhart’s offer of extra Quidditch tuition is portrayed as being a sign of arrogance (“Hey, look, I’m better than the youngest Seeker for a century!”), but I don’t think he’d have had a chance to see Harry’s MadQuidditch!Skillz, so from his POV the offer’s probably quite a nice one.

* So is Ron’s criticism of Lockhart meant to be foreshadowing his later jealousy of Krum, then?

* I’d say that the Trio are taking something of a risk in brewing their potion in Myrtle’s bathroom. What if Filch comes round to try and fix the toilets, or a student decides she’s so desperate that she’ll even face Moaning Myrtle, or Myrtle herself gossips to the other ghosts/students, or…?

* Sprouting several extra arms out of your head is pretty bad. Not worse than being covered in tiny tentacles and hexed into unconsciousness on your way home from school, though.

* “Shredded skin of Boomslang, that’s definitely not in the students’ cupboard.” Erm, how do you know, Harry? It doesn’t sound inherently dark or valuable, and you aren’t exactly the sort of pupil to have memorised the contents of the students’ cupboard.

* Hermione’s getting quite excited by the thought of breaking the school rules. Maybe she’s kept her inner bad girl pent up for so long, she’s just bursting to let her out. Or maybe she’s excited by the danger.

* Back in the good ol’ days when Harry Potter was still an enjoyable franchise peopled with likeable characters, I found this quite endearing. In light of the Marietta Incident, though…

* Someone pointed out in an earlier read-through of COS that this sort of description (cheeks flushed, eyes wide and shining) is normally used for Malfoy. I wonder if this is coincidental, or whether Rowling was deliberately trying to make them look similar. (Bear in mind that this is before JKR gave up on the series, so she could conceivably have been trying to do something interesting like that.)

* Ron seems to have a hang-up about toenails, doesn’t he? Anyone want to make a bet that Fred and George once did something horrible to his toenails when he was young?

* Hermione’s eyes narrow dangerously, and Ron changes tack almost immediately. Why do I get the impression that this will be a common occurrence when they’re married?

* “It’ll be a lot less hassle if you can just knock Malfoy off his broom tomorrow,” says Ron. Bear in mind that they haven’t actually got any evidence that is was him. Apparently, though, wild conjecture is enough to justify killing someone.

* Also, note how Ron says that it will be “less hassle”, i.e., he won’t have to bother making the Polyjuice Potion, rather than “safer for the Muggleborns” or something like that. Clearly, murder is justified in the WW if the alternative is having to do a lot of work.

* Harry’s nervous about the prospect of facing a team riding better brooms than him. I wonder if this is how the other Seekers feel every time they ever face Harry?

* In my own personal canon, Slytherin, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw realised they’d never be able to beat Harry (or, rather, Harry’s superior brooms), and instead started their own unofficial competition to see who could come second to Gryffindor. The respective heads of houses even clubbed together and bought their own trophy to award.

* Wood’s calling Malfoy a “little bit of slime”, which is obviously OK, whereas any of Draco’s insults are proof of his inherent evilness.

* Everyone seems to be assuming that Draco bought his way onto the team, which would imply they don’t think he’s very good; if he wasn’t, though, we’d expect Fred and George to have reported on this when they were busy spying on Slytherin, instead of going on about how all the Slytherins looked like green blurs. Once again, Rowling’s needs to both belittle Malfoy and make Harry the underdog are in conflict.

* I think it would have been good if Gryffindor had just assumed that Draco had bought his way onto the team, underestimate him, and end up losing because of this. That would teach Harry a valuable lesson the dangers of underestimating his opponents, and might make us take Draco more seriously as a peer antagonist figure.

* Once again, Wood, calm down, it’s only a game.

* Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw want Slytherin to lose as well. This might have made sense last book, when Slytherin had won for six years in a row, but now… Maybe they’re just trying to ingratiate themselves with Dumbledore by picking on his least favourite House.

* Wood’s staring at Flint threateningly and trying to crush his hand. Knowing JKR’s normal characterisation, I’m surprised that it’s not just Flint doing this, with Wood nobly standing there saying nothing as his fingers are crushed.

* “The Slytherins’ superior brooms were clearly doing their jobs” implies that winning a game of Quidditch is largely or solely due to the broom you ride. But this would mean that all Harry’s victories apart from this one were due to him having a better broom than his opponent. But that can’t be right, because Harry’s victories are always portrayed as a result of his awesome Seeker skills. In which case winning is due to personal skill, in which case the Slytherins are winning because they’re better players than the Gryffindors, in which case attributing their success to their brooms is wrong, in which case oh dear, logic…

* I’m surprised Wood agreed to call time out. Hey, Wood, are you sure you shouldn’t be with those pansy Ravenclaws or something?

* Note how, once again, the good guys jump to the conclusion that Slytherin are to blame.

* “‘Listen,’ said Harry… ‘with you two flying around me all the time the only way I’m going to catch that Snitch is if it flies up my sleeve,’ said Harry [sic].” The sad thing is, it probably would do that if that were required to let Harry win the game. It’s already flown into his mouth, after all.

* So why would they have to forfeit the match if the equipment is posing a danger to the players? Couldn’t they just reschedule, and in the meantime check the Bludger out?

* Oh yes, I forgot, rescheduling’s for cowards. Real men keep playing until their skulls get cracked open!

* At least George displays a rare moment of sanity by telling Wood that risking his players’ lives just to beat Slytherin is a stupid idea.

* So Draco knows enough about Muggle culture to make jokes about ballet, whereas the Weasleys always show a condescending attitude towards Muggles and can’t pronounce such common words as electricity and telephone. Remind me again, who’s the bigot in this story?

* Maybe the Malfoys are actually good friends with some nearby Muggle aristocrats, and learn all about Muggle culture from them. Pure blood is pure blood, after all, but blue blood is blue blood.

* Draco and Harry are both behaving very unprofessionally in stopping playing in order to glare at each other. Fortunately for Harry, the universe is geared to revolve around his needs, so the Snitch flies into the one place where Harry would notice it and Draco wouldn’t.

* In his benumbed state, Harry’s only thought is of Malfoy. This must make the H/D shippers out there very happy.

* “Malfoy thought Harry was attacking him.” And it wouldn’t be the first time if he was. Or, indeed, the last.

* Harry’s arm’s broken, but he still manages to win the game before fainting in a manly way. And people say he’s a Mary Sue!

* Given that Lockhart’s portrayed as almost universally incompetent, it’s a surprise he hasn’t been found out yet.

* I don’t see why Madam Pomfrey’s getting so angry at Harry. Lockhart’s the one who de-boned him, after all.

* So does Skele-Gro have more uses than just re-boning arms, then? ’Cause surely even Hogwarts wouldn’t have that many serious accidents that they’d need to keep some handy all the time.

* Still, at least the Trio can cheer themselves up with the thought of Draco being upset. It’s the power of Love, I tell you!

* Yes, Ron, people you don’t like always taste nasty. Evil tastes bad like that.

* Naturally Hermione’s Polyjuice potion would go a lovely golden colour and taste of caramel and hot chocolate. Harry’s would taste of something manly, like steak. I can’t think of what Ron’s would be like, though: the bitter taste of disappointment, perhaps?

* Flint’s shouting at Malfoy doesn’t seem to indicate that the latter bought his way onto the team. If he had, then surely we’d expect something like “If you don’t improve, we can always get Miller to replace you…” As it is, he sounds like a usually good player who was below his usual standards on that day.

* I can’t help but hope that those stabbing pains really annoy Harry.

* Dobby’s sponging Harry’s forehead. Eugh, what a creep.

* If Dobby really thought that Harry wouldn’t be able to get back to Hogwarts another way than by train, he’s as stupid as he is irritating.

* I think it says a lot for the Malfoys’ self-control that they’ve only threatened to kill Dobby, rather than actually doing it. If he were my elf, he’d be dead within thirty minutes.

* For all that Dobby goes on about wanting to be free, he really is the most servile character in the series.

* “Not kill you, only cripple you for life!” Oh well, that’s alright, then.

* Harry had assumed that the Bludger had been tampered with by Draco, purely on the basis of his dislike for him. Now that he learns the Bludger was, in fact, enchanted by Dobby, he feels a pang of remorse at jumping to conclusions about his fellow-student, and resolves to try and be fairer in future.

* Only joking; Harry’s the Chosen One, and therefore never has to re-evaluate his preconceptions. Or, if he does, the person in question is dead, so he doesn’t have to actually say sorry or treat them any differently or anything like that.

* If I were one of the dregs of the magical world, I’d feel quite offended at Dobby trying to associate himself with me.

* Whereas most House-elves are dregs, Dobby’s like the brown stain on the bottom of the teacup that you try to wash out but can never quite get rid of.

* Dobby cracks a jug over his head. Unfortunately, it doesn’t knock him out.

* Collin comes in. Fortunately he’s knocked out, so he can’t annoy me.

* No, wait, I spoke too soon: he was trying to give some grapes to Harry. Seriously, I think he’s got even less dignity than Dobby here; at least Dobby can use the excuse of being a House-elf, and, therefore, naturally servile.

* BTW, I thought cameras didn’t work in Hogwarts, along with any other electrical equipment?

* Erm, Dumbles, surely the answer to “who?” would naturally lead to the answer to “how?”