death to capslock

As opposed to Hermione, who bullies younger students in response to more important things.

Or Fred and George, who bully younger students because that is the important thing to do.

as an honorary member of the I HATE FLEUR Club he’s got to call her Phlegm and say she smells like poo.

Time to make some Fleur Stinks badges.

IITS - And that’s how Ginny got into the Slug Club. Wasn’t that a great story?

How can you call that contrivance? Hexes are like currency here! If she'd hospitalised him, Dumbledore would have made her prefect.

Honestly, you’d think if Slughorn was such a master of networking he’d think to find a more attractive name for his club.

Be fair, it's no Inquisitorial Squad. Subtlety, thy name is not Rowling.

Harry’s slightly annoyed at Ron and Hermione getting bored at discussing the possible meaning of Malfoy’s behavior after only a few days.

He should come join fandom, we can go for years. Muhahaha!

by which I assume he shouldn’t bring *her* the washing at the last minute.

That's what she's there for! Along with cooking, of course. (She's multi-faceted.) Tut, tut, boys and their endearing ways, eh?