Harry Potter Abridged! COS Chapter 5
Jul. 17th, 2011 03:46 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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deathtocapslock[In due time, it comes time to return to Hogwarts.]
[They take the car down to Platform Nine and Three Quarters]
Harry: But how will we ever fit our stuff all in the trunk?
Mr. Weasley: I enchanted it to expand.
Mrs. Weasley: Wow, I guess Muggles aren’t totally useless given that their cars are really quite roomy.
Mr. Weasley: Nope, that’s all my invention.
Ginny: Hold on, I’ve forgotten my diary!
[She runs back in to get her diary, and by the time they arrive at the station they’re already late.]
[At King’s Cross, everyone makes it safely across the barrier- except for Harry and Ron!]
Harry: Oh, no! What ever shall we do?! We missed the train!
Ron: Well, there’s always... MY WAY!!
[So Harry and Ron take the car.]
Ron: I think the Invisibility Booster’s faulty!
Harry: Quick! Get above the clouds!
[They climb above the clouds and follow the Hogwarts Express to the best of their ability for several hours.]
Harry: You know, this is really quite boring, and we have nothing to eat or drink.
Ron: That’s not all- the car is making funny noises.
Harry: Oh, great! Ron, we’re not going to crash, are we?
Ron: No, don’t be silly!
[However, they do crash- into a giant tree, which starts whacking at the car.]
Harry: Better put it in reverse, Ron!
[Ron slams on the reverse, and the car flies backward out of the tree.]
Ron: That was close!
[The car ejects their belongings and drives off, and they grab them and wander into Hogwarts, toward the Great Hall.]
Harry: I see every professor up there- oh, except for Snape!
Ron: Well... look on the bright side- maybe he’s sick or something!
Snape: I HEARD THAT!
Harry and Ron: AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!
Snape: [Holding up newspaper] You were seen by no less than seven Muggles?! How dare you?!
Harry: The platform wouldn’t let us in!
Snape: Do you really think I care? I’m going to fetch Professor McGonagall and see to it that you are expelled!
[So he brings Professor McGonagall in.]
McGonagall: How could you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?!
Harry: We couldn’t get on the train! *Cries*
McGonagall: You could have sent us a letter.
Harry and Ron: *Cry some more*
McGonagall: Honestly, Harry, just because you’re the main character doesn’t give you the right to go looking for trouble!
[But just then Dumbledore comes in.]
Dumbledore: Now, you won’t really expel those two, will you McGonagall?
McGonagall: Ah... well... no.... I thought I’d just give them a detention. Oh, and no feast for you. I will, however, give you something to eat, just because I like you both so much. [Conjures a tray of sandwiches] Good day!
[She, Dumbledore, and Snape all leave the room, glaring.]
[Needless to say, by the time Harry and Ron get to Gryffindor Tower, everyone cheers for their reckless deeds.]
[They take the car down to Platform Nine and Three Quarters]
Harry: But how will we ever fit our stuff all in the trunk?
Mr. Weasley: I enchanted it to expand.
Mrs. Weasley: Wow, I guess Muggles aren’t totally useless given that their cars are really quite roomy.
Mr. Weasley: Nope, that’s all my invention.
Ginny: Hold on, I’ve forgotten my diary!
[She runs back in to get her diary, and by the time they arrive at the station they’re already late.]
[At King’s Cross, everyone makes it safely across the barrier- except for Harry and Ron!]
Harry: Oh, no! What ever shall we do?! We missed the train!
Ron: Well, there’s always... MY WAY!!
[So Harry and Ron take the car.]
Ron: I think the Invisibility Booster’s faulty!
Harry: Quick! Get above the clouds!
[They climb above the clouds and follow the Hogwarts Express to the best of their ability for several hours.]
Harry: You know, this is really quite boring, and we have nothing to eat or drink.
Ron: That’s not all- the car is making funny noises.
Harry: Oh, great! Ron, we’re not going to crash, are we?
Ron: No, don’t be silly!
[However, they do crash- into a giant tree, which starts whacking at the car.]
Harry: Better put it in reverse, Ron!
[Ron slams on the reverse, and the car flies backward out of the tree.]
Ron: That was close!
[The car ejects their belongings and drives off, and they grab them and wander into Hogwarts, toward the Great Hall.]
Harry: I see every professor up there- oh, except for Snape!
Ron: Well... look on the bright side- maybe he’s sick or something!
Snape: I HEARD THAT!
Harry and Ron: AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!
Snape: [Holding up newspaper] You were seen by no less than seven Muggles?! How dare you?!
Harry: The platform wouldn’t let us in!
Snape: Do you really think I care? I’m going to fetch Professor McGonagall and see to it that you are expelled!
[So he brings Professor McGonagall in.]
McGonagall: How could you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?!
Harry: We couldn’t get on the train! *Cries*
McGonagall: You could have sent us a letter.
Harry and Ron: *Cry some more*
McGonagall: Honestly, Harry, just because you’re the main character doesn’t give you the right to go looking for trouble!
[But just then Dumbledore comes in.]
Dumbledore: Now, you won’t really expel those two, will you McGonagall?
McGonagall: Ah... well... no.... I thought I’d just give them a detention. Oh, and no feast for you. I will, however, give you something to eat, just because I like you both so much. [Conjures a tray of sandwiches] Good day!
[She, Dumbledore, and Snape all leave the room, glaring.]
[Needless to say, by the time Harry and Ron get to Gryffindor Tower, everyone cheers for their reckless deeds.]
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