HBP Chapter Twenty-One

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

*Harry has been racking his brain with no results. *pets Harry’s poor brain* So instead he’s just looking at his Potions book. Great little comment on how Harry usually works—usually he’d have Hermione on this. Thinking brain dog. I love that.

*Harry’s already itching to try out this Sectumsempra thingie because of the intriguing words "For Enemies." Because that’s not a sinister description at all. Harry obviously thought he was just going to turn Draco’s hair green with that spell, thus distracting him from the Crucio he was about to throw.

*Btw, props to Harry for, after 6 years, not having gained any grasp of Latin whatsoever. He still looks at every spell as if the only way to get a clue to what it does is to cast it at an irritating person and see what happens.

*It’s too bad he doesn’t just try it out on Hermione here. Fandom might implode trying to decide on an official interpretation: is it bad because Hermione got hurt? Good because she deserved it for disagreeing with Harry and anyway he had no way of knowing a spell for enemies could be aggressive? Or is it just supposed to be funny because Wizarding World injuries are different and it’s no big deal?

*Apparition tests are coming up, and Ron’s the most proficient at Apparition so far. Ha ha ha! Just kidding. When it comes to the Wizard equivalent of driving of course Hermione has succeeded twice and will be a careful driver who observes the rules of the road (hands on ten and two o'clock), Ron is a complete failure and Harry’s already got his elbow propped up on the window.

*Fandom puts a lot of importance in Harry’s having disagreed with Snape on the best way to handle Dementors, but I can’t help but wonder if Rowling just picked that line as a throwaway because it was vaguely Dark-Arts-ish. I could be wrong since she might have chosen a more fantastic creature for that. I just don’t see anything particularly interesting about alternate Dementor stuff.

*Hermione tells Harry the Prince can’t help him with Slughorn, that the only way to force someone to do what you want is to Imperio them. Gee, Hermione’s gotten a bit unsophisticated in her old age. Didn’t she blackmail somebody into doing her bidding last year? And I believe manipulate Hagrid through flattery before that?

*On the other hand, somebody had to mention Imperius if it’s going to come up at the end of the book, so maybe Hermione was just trying to be the one to do that.

*Dumbledore says Veritaseum won’t help. Damn, how inconvenient! Veritaseum always helps!

*Frankly, from what we’ve seen of Slughorn it seems like a threat to withhold brunch would get him to sing.

*Funny it doesn’t seem the direct approach will work either. Why not just say to the guy “Look, Fatty McBoylove, some of us are actually trying to do something about the evil wizard who wants to kill us all and if he already knows this memory exists you’re in no more danger telling us than not telling us so hack it up.” Oh right, because this week we’re learning about cunning.

*The kids now have to waste time not only discussing how to get a memory out of the big guy, but figuring out what Dumbledore is trying to get Harry to do by asking him to do it. Sometimes having a Wise Old Wizard Leader is a real pain.

*Roonil Wazlib! That’s HILARIOUS! Hold on while I put it in an icon. Or 58.

*Is Ron’s "I Love You, Hermione" really all that cute? I mean, you’d think if he had a crush on her he wouldn’t say that casually.

*Anyway, it bodes well for the relationship that Ron’s words are in response to Hermione doing his homework for him.

*Harry asks why Ron doesn’t just break up with Lavender. Ron points out Harry’s never chucked anyone. “You and Cho just…” “Agreed that she had betrayed me and wasn’t on the moral level of the Chosen One, yeah.”

*Kreacher’s here—thank God! And Dobby. Well, can’t have everything.

*Harry hasn’t told Hermione about the Elf Tails because house-elves are always such a touchy subject with her. Err…not that she has once commented on Harry actually owning one. And not that she’s actually going to show much interest in the subject whatsoever in this scene.

*Okay, I really might make an icon of Kreacher’s description of Malfoy’s fine bone structure and noble movement. Come on, you know Malfoy dances occasionally when he’s alone. (Btw: Go Benji and Travis!!!)

*Dobby still finds it difficult to speak ill about his old masters. Hmm…so Kreacher the "bad" elf has no trouble speaking ill of his current master, while Dobby the "good" elf doesn’t like to speak ill about his old ones. Dobby is a much better slave than Kreacher. That’s why he’s good.

*Btw, I can totally see Dobby as a Fundamentalist Christian house-elf.

*Dobby tells Kreacher Malfoy is not a good master to a house-elf. Um, actually I think from what we’ve seen of Kreacher he might be quite happy with Draco as a Master.

*Harry is annoyed at Kreacher’s reports of Malfoy and turns to Dobby instead. Which of course makes one ask again why Harry didn’t just ask Dobby to begin with, given he’s the one falling all over himself to do it right, even staying up all night.

*Not that I’m complaining—this scene would not be entertaining at all without Kreacher.

*Dobby reports that Draco has been breaking no rules that he can discover. Which must be killing the little snitch.

*Hermione reminds us Malfoy knew how to get into the RoR because that stupid Marietta had blabbed. You know what someone should do? Write STUPID across her face in oozing pustules.

*Harry thinks they’ll be a way around not knowing what Malfoy’s using the room for. And there probably would be, to someone with any skill or practice in creative problem-solving. So not Harry.

*Kreacher’s done well too, Hermione says kindly, showing that while she might have lost interest in house-elves she hasn’t lost her knack for always saying the thing guaranteed to make them more angry and miserable.

*Harry crows about his new Malfoy information while Hermione mops up Ron’s stains. Has she cut Ron’s meat for him in this book yet? I can’t remember…

*Hermione’s surprised Malfoy’s got a lot of students helping him. You’d think he wouldn’t want a lot of people to know what he’s doing. Gee, that sounds like he’s actually doing something worth thinking about, doesn’t it? Funny that she’s been dismissing it all year.

*God, I’ve been so stupid, says Harry—naturally regarding one of those rare moments where he really hasn’t been that stupid.

*Harry reminds us Crabbe and Goyle are stupid enough to do what they’re told even if Malfoy doesn’t tell them what he’s up to. Which makes them not quite as stupid as Harry’s friends, who will do what they’re told even if Harry does tell them what he’s up to and it’s totally misguided.

*Speaking of stupid, the Trio continues to wonder why Crabbe and Goyle would actually continue to help Malfoy without ever considering that friends sometimes step up when another friend really needs help.

*Harry claims Malfoy’s just showed them his Dark Mark, which Hermione is skeptical about. I still honestly don’t know if Harry is supposed to be right about the Dark Mark and Hermione naïve, or if Hermione’s introducing the idea that Draco’s more in an in-between state.

*Hermione reminds Harry that as interesting a plot as the Malfoy story is, he’s got to stay in the Gryffindor plot and faff about with Slughorn. Harry looks disgruntled and I don’t blame him.

*And we end a scene with a classic “Loser!Ron” moment as he wishes he could Disapparate and so not fail his test miserably. Ron should be accompanied here by that trumpet noise they play when things go wrong for people in wacky comedies—you know, the one they play for Debbie Downer.

*Harry does not sleep well that night. He just lays awake wondering what Malfoy is doing in the RoR and what he will see when he walks in there the next day. Then he makes things worse by going on line and googling “’Malfoy’ ‘Room of Requirement’ ‘Harry’ ‘inside.’”

*Link one: “Harry blinked, stepping inside the Room of Requirement for the first time in a year. Gone were the shelves of Defense books and the DA list on the wall. The walls were draped in green velvet and in the center sat an enormous bed. Malfoy lay upon it, his pale skin glowing in the candlelight. Harry stepped forward, his mouth going dry as he realized Malfoy was not wearing any clothes. “Go!” Harry’s mind screamed at him. But Harry stayed rooted to the spot…”

*Harry dreams about Malfoy yet again and I’m going to go all symbolically Meta on it. Okay, in the first book, didn’t Malfoy turn into Snape and then Voldemort was sort of there? Now he’s turning into Slughorn (not on Voldemort’s side) and then Snape. Okay, presumably Slughorn is there because Harry’s remembering he’s supposed to be getting the memory, but Malfoy still turns into Snape a lot.

*Or else Harry’s having a nightmare that Draco gets fat!

*Harry’s all a-quiver during breakfast. ‘Nuff said.

*Hermione’s ostentatiously showing Harry that she’s not allowed to help him in this book.

*Hmmm…a second mention of Imperius, this time regarding a little boy who tried to kill his grandparents. Funny this goes along with Harry’s problems with Slughorn—he thinks he’s got to force him to give up the memory; Hermione says he’s got to persuade him. The little boy is forced through Imperio, Malfoy’s persuaded to try to kill somebody through various means. No clue if that’s significant.

*Also Mundungus has been arrested, which is okay now that Harry’s no longer pleased with him. I guess that means Arthur won’t be getting him off, then? Harry might need to go to Azkaban to ask him about the locket now, I guess. We might actually get to see Azkaban. (And Lucius there?)

*Harry stares at the wall for a while—you know, earlier he had more of the right idea when he asked whether the room was a workroom or a hideout. After a night fantasizing about what he might see when he went inside all he can think of is Draco, Draco, Draco.

*Harry tried every variation of “I need to see what Draco Malfoy is doing inside you” and was quite distracted and flushed when he was finished.

*Hmmm…looks like Snape’s hitting all of Harry’s greatest hits this year. The Dementor essay was preceded by one on resisting the Imperius curse. That’s Imperius curse. The one that’s going to come up later as part of the plot.

*Snape describes Mundungus as a smelly sneak-thief, and Harry indignantly mutters that Snape and Mundungus are supposed to be on the same side. Like how Harry and Snape are on the same side and admire each other so much. And Harry hates Mundungus until Snape does, then he’s great.

*Btw, Snape—smelly? It’s fun being 8 years old, isn’t it?

*Okay, Snape insults Harry here, and we hear Pansy giggles and others smirk…but not Malfoy. Poor Snape must be crushed.

*Actually, it’s a bit odd Harry doesn’t make any mention of Malfoy at all, even to tell us he’s absent if he is. He’s been thinking about him non-stop all chapter—guess this is a foreshadowing of his refusing to look at the actual boy after Sectumsempra. Harry’s just shy.

*Ron’s defense of Harry’s pretty excellent. Ten DTCL points to Gryffindor for Ron’s snarky logic.

*Snape’s all pleased with his comeback to Ron about being so solid he can’t Apparate. Sorry Severus, Ron won that one.

*Oh wait, Snape’s probably smirking because they’re going to read about the Cruciatious Curse and he’s imagining doing it to Harry or something.

*The narrator announces Ron was very subdued throughout the class, though he was quite jaunty in the bit we saw. Is he that effected by Snape’s Apparition joke? Btw, how does Snape even know how Ron’s doing? I get the feeling Draco’s not doing impressions for him this year.:(

*Ron’s irritated by Lavender’s abuse of Snape, because everything Lavender does now is annoying and besides he now knows he’s really turned on by Hermione’s brutal honestly about his shortcomings.

*Ron just can’t seem to get the hang of Apparition. Or girls or throwing off Imperio or Quidditch or spelling or Potions…

*For the second time in one chapter, Harry is confronted with someone describing Malfoy in aggressively flattering and affectionate terms. Two people “in love with” Malfoy in one chapter—I’m surprised Harry hasn’t caved in and started lecturing people about bad boy syndrome.

*Myrtle sadly says she thought Malfoy liked her—I’m not sure if we’re supposed to assume a true connection on Malfoy’s part or if she related to him like she did to Harry. At the very least Malfoy promised to come back and see her again, which would indicates him trying to be nice. I wonder if that’s a change due to his circumstances.

*We had lots in common, Myrtle says. I wonder if JKR is slipping in a truth there we should think about or if it’s just Myrtle being a silly Draco fangirl.

*I’m sorry, but that line of Myrtle about Malfoy is just so incredibly precious, about how he’s sensitive and bullied and feels lonely and can’t talk to anyone. Cheer up, Emo kids indeed!

*I know I’ve asked this before but WHY IS THERE NO DRACO/MYRTLE FIC?

*Ron cuts the scene short, unfortunately, but it makes him feel better to tease Myrtle. Um, yay?

*Harry feels rather jealous watching Ron and Hermione go into Hogsmeade. Harry jealous. Imagine that. Is it not enough he must carry the heavy mantle of the Chosen One? Must he also suffer the humiliation and stress of being born in July?

*Hermione impatiently scolds Harry to just keep at Slughorn. You know, clearly this isn’t that important or Dumbledore would just do it himself. What if Harry never figured it out? Would Voldemort just have to live forever because Harry didn’t love Twinkledor enough to concentrate on that memory?

*Goyle’s alone outside the RoR. Does this mean he’s not a left-back larger student but in fact one of the younger kids in the class? Or did he give up a chance to practice Apparition to help his friend?

*The narrator reminds us how kindly Hermione had helped Girl!Goyle before when he dropped his scales. You know, I really don’t think Hermione’s constant need to take care of everything has anything to do with kindness. If she wants to kindly fix something she can start with Marietta’s face.

*"Hello…You’re very pretty, aren’t you?" Awesome!

*Harry gets the most agreeable feeling of power from knowing that Malfoy’s frozen behind the door unable to come outside, while Harry tries to force his way in. An agreeable heavy tingling of power that centers in the groin area.

*Suddenly I’m picturing Harry and Malfoy as the inspector and the innkeeper’s daughter on either side of the wall in "The Wicker Man."

*Unfortunately, Harry proves to be impotent, and his nice tingly power feeling is permanently doused when Tonks the girl comes drifting down the corridor.

*New Tonks theory: Instead of her having lost weight and having mousy hair because she really can’t handle the stress of having a boyfriend with a dangerous job, she’s simply transformed herself to look like what she imagines people dying of love should look like. It’s a fashion statement.

*Dumbledore wasn’t in his office so Tonks I guess just decided to wander the halls singing "On My Own" in a cap and trenchcoat.

*Tonks picks at the sleeve of her robe. Little does she know this simple nervous gesture will spawn a thousand Polyjuice and werewolf plots.

*Tonks’ eyes fill with tears at the mention of Sirius. Or so Harry thinks. Really she just wasn’t listening to him. Err…great, Tonks.

*Harry leaves the hallway pathetically hoping that Malfoy will be trapped in there for hours. Because then he’ll be the one who looks stupid. Not Harry, who’s been standing outside pacing and breaking his toes for hours, swearing at a brick wall.

*Hermione ignores Ron’s reports of how great the Apparition teacher thought she was. Which is to say she silently stores the scene up in her mind to go over as she goes to sleep that night.

*Harry suggests Tonks was in love with Sirius. It’s kind of sad that he’s basically put on the wrong track because he actually thought Tonks might pay attention to what he said when she asked him a question.

*Hermione reports that Rosemerta didn’t laugh at a stupid joke of Ron’s, and I wonder in passing if she didn’t laugh because of the Imperius. It’s not really a theory, since I’ve no idea how consistently she’s under it and I know she’s just getting him back for his comment about women, but I thought about it so I stuck it in.





Exploitation Filmmakers’ Credo
Oh Harry. It really is like banging your head against a brick wall.

Foley Work
Those brass scale sounds are impressive!

IITS
Dear Diary: Today Harry made a small breakthrough in figuring out what horrible task Draco Malfoy is trying to accomplish. Perhaps it has something to do with the two near-murders, one of which almost killed HIM. He asked me to help and I said no, because IITS. I am totally the best fictional character in this series. Gotta go, Ron’s nose is about to run. Love, Hermione.

Informed Attributes
Phew! Harry is right; Hermione DOES have a lot to say on the house-elf issue! Very touchy! I thought she’d never shut up!

Light Bulb Moment
How could I have been so stupid? He’s using Polyjuice!

McGuffin
You just leave that Malfoy plot alone, Harry, and come do something about this Slughorn story. It’s not going to drag itself out!

Nut o’ Fun
So…what did Harry imagine finding Malfoy in the RoR would be like?

Final score: 7

Slytherin Liquid Count: Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom, water sloshing in the toilet, the crying boy, Tonks’ tears, Polyjuice, quick drinks in Hogsmeade.

H/D clichés: Harry falls asleep thinking of Malfoy, Harry and Malfoy in the RoR, Harry dreams of Malfoy, Malfoy cries in the bathroom, Fine bone structure!Malfoy, Noble Movement!Malfoy and of course, So Very Emo!Malfoy.

Comments

[elanor-x.livejournal.com]

*Btw, I can totally see Dobby as a Fundamentalist Christian house-elf.

Did such vastly different reactions to the same treatment exist in RL or did Malfoys have a personal hate relationship with Dobby unlike Sirius' mother with Kreacher?

* Kreacher's "Master Malfoy eats in the Great Hall" made me smile. I bet he wouldn't tell Harry a word about Draco's frequent visits to the RoR, while giving him a particularly detailed and true account of Draco's life at the same time. Harry should have considered such possibility and not sent Kreacher to this mission in the first place.

**Kreacher’s done well too, Hermione says kindly, showing that while she might have lost interest in house-elves she hasn’t lost her knack for always saying the thing guaranteed to make them more angry and miserable.

Right! Hermione 'kindly' praises Kreacher's good work in forcibly betraying the pureblood great-nephew of his beloved mistress to "filthy friend of Mudbloods", whom he passionately hates. This is the same house-elf, who laughingly led Sirius to his death only last year and would love to see them all dead, btw.
Did she forget that? Does JKR really only intend to show Hermione's compassion here or her being even more shockingly stupid than clueless? Can't imagine Draco making a similar mistake (even if he would be brought up in another house).

*Hmmm…a second mention of Imperius, this time regarding a little boy who tried to kill his grandparents.

We get another chilling insight into WW's judicial system, in which 9-year-old children get arrested for being under the Imperius Curse. The conclusion? If DE are after your family don't go to police, unless you want your relatives to rot in Azkaban. On the other hand, according to Dumbledore, Lucius is "secretly glad to be safe in Azkaban at the moment", so may be turning to police is worth it after all.

* "Goading Myrtle seemed to have put fresh heart into Ron."

Note that goading Myrtle and not his best friend's support makes Ron's mood better. After reading at deathtocapslock how your enemy's suffering is the chosen source of comfort in the WW, I turned a bit paranoid & started seeing it everywhere. LOL.

*"Hello…You’re very pretty, aren’t you?" Awesome!

Where did Harry get threaten-of-rape vibe from exactly? I guess his chest monster enlightened him to such pleasures.

* "Half an hour later… the wall was just as doorless as ever. … Losing his patience completely, Harry ran at the wall and kicked it.
'OUCH!' "

Hahaha. Harry still has much to learn about self-control. In OoTF he was kicking trees, now walls…& we all remember what that little journey to the Ministry resulted in.

*Hermione reports that Rosemerta didn’t laugh at a stupid joke of Ron’s...

Unfortunately, Ron is the right one here. A woman wouldn't sulk for 1/2 hour, if her love interest didn't pay attention to her. She would only fall apart/abandon her post/child/life/magical powers instead.

R/H + friending question

[elanor-x.livejournal.com]

* I didn't like Ron/Hermione at all despite not being a shipper & re-reading this chapter made me understand better why. Ron's "I love you, Hermione" resembles more intellectual exploitation than realistically falling in love at 16 [or any other age, either]. Here Ron just thanks her for correcting his homework for 20 minutes, which he is too lazy to do himself. I have never seen such words before in a book (between 2 characters paired by author, too!) without romantic meaning, but there is first time for everything in life…

If Ron thought about smth else than doing his homework here, we would get some hint from the text about it. Instead, he doesn't seem to think about Hermione's feelings at all, while she gives those words nonexistent romantic meaning: "Hermione turned faintly pink… 'Don't let Lavender hear you saying that' ". Hermione strikes me as a bit pathetic & pitiful character, waiting for the love of her life to pay attention to her and trying to perceive every word as a sign of romantic passion.

In addition, in RL comparing the girl, you snogged in front of everybody, to the Giant Squid is not usually considered a good sign. Personally, if I were in love with a boy and heard him talking about his ex in this way, I would seriously reconsider my affections.

* I am new in having lj, wanted to friend you & slinkhard,but didn't find anything in your lj-s about your friending policies. Can I friend you,please?

[kaskait.livejournal.com]

Btw, props to Harry for, after 6 years, not having gained any grasp of Latin whatsoever. He still looks at every spell as if the only way to get a clue to what it does is to cast it at an irritating person and see what happens.

You know, you're right, there are no Latin classes at Hogwarts. LOL. Muggle schools pride themselves if they have a Latin division, its considered so elite. But in a society where they actually need to understand it? Nahhhhhhhhh. I bet Snape speaks Latin. I'm pretty positive Riddle speaks it and ditto for Dumbledore. In the world of the blind, the one eyed men are kings.

New Tonks theory: Instead of her having lost weight and having mousy hair because she really can’t handle the stress of having a boyfriend with a dangerous job, she’s simply transformed herself to look like what she imagines people dying of love should look like. It’s a fashion statement.

Yes! That would certainly add a bit of interest and make Tonks more interesting. But...she isn't supposed to be interesting. Oh well.

And we end a scene with a classic “Loser!Ron” moment as he wishes he could Disapparate and so not fail his test miserably. Ron should be accompanied here by that trumpet noise they play when things go wrong for people in wacky comedies—you know, the one they play for Debbie Downer.

I can imagine something like that old "Odd Couple" theme. No then again, too jaunty. He needs something more in the line of "Napoleon Dynamite". Ron is Napoleon Dynamite. I think we get the idea how loser he really is or was. Can't he do something fabulous by now?

[ladymauv.livejournal.com]

I just realized why I like this chapter so much: No Ginny! Yes, Harry's so in love with her that he can ignore her for entire chapters. But it's understandable, since he's too busy obsessing over Draco's fine bone structure.

I love the idea of Harry innocently doing a Google search on Malfoy. :D I can just see him stumbling into fandom and being utterly confused as to why everyone thinks "I need to see what Draco Malfoy is doing inside you" is so funny.

Ron’s defense of Harry’s pretty excellent. Ten DTCL points to Gryffindor for Ron’s snarky logic.
Go Ron! Though it's a shame that Ron is only allowed to shine when he's backing Harry up.

Btw, props to Harry for, after 6 years, not having gained any grasp of Latin whatsoever. He still looks at every spell as if the only way to get a clue to what it does is to cast it at an irritating person and see what happens.
This is why it boggles me that Latin isn't taught at Hogwarts. Do students think the names for spells are just gibberish? But I should stop trying to figure out the education system in the magical world, where students are expected to write essays and measure potions ingredients with, at best, an 11-year-old's knowledge of English and math.

[lalyari.livejournal.com]

*Harry does not sleep well that night. He just lays awake wondering what Malfoy is doing in the RoR and what he will see when he walks in there the next day. Then he makes things worse by going on line and googling “'Malfoy' 'Room of Requirement' 'Harry' 'inside.'”
OMG, this is sooo wrong. XD

*Btw, props to Harry for, after 6 years, not having gained any grasp of Latin whatsoever.
Sometimes I think Latin is inconceivable for those who live in the Potterverse; just like the meaning of names and literary allusions, it meant to be understood by readers, but kept in secret from the characters. Or wizards cannot learn any Latin after they start using it in spells, and Severus was only one who had Latin in elementary school or something.

*We had lots in common, Myrtle says. I wonder if JKR is slipping in a truth there we should think about or if it's just Myrtle being a silly Draco fangirl.
Myrtle was the first person whom Tom killed. It was an accident, really. But that's when he reached the point of no return. So... yeah.
*wants an AU fic with ghost!Draco haunting the boys' bathroom. And Harry the Dark Lord vs. Snape, Headmaster of Hogwarts*

[courtaud.livejournal.com]

*Btw, Snape—smelly? It’s fun being 8 years old, isn’t it?

Here is said (http://borolin.livejournal.com/342.html) that somewhere in Northern England 'smelly' is actually used by adults, too.

[merrymelody.livejournal.com]

Ron’s irritated by Lavender’s abuse of Snape, besides he now knows he’s really turned on by Hermione’s brutal honesty about his shortcomings.

It's funny, but not surprising, how for Harry there's nothing more attractive than a girl who shrilly detests everyone who so much as coughs at him; but Ron's revolted by it and wants the girl who sends birds to peck at his flesh.

Tonks’ eyes fill with tears at the mention of Sirius. Or so Harry thinks. Really she just wasn’t listening to him. Err…great, Tonks.

It sort of amuses me how little anyone cares about Sirius. We have like, three mentions of him from Harry; the big Lupin plot all his fans were waiting for wasn't his passionate grieving or taking up Sirius' slack as godparent in tribute, but dating a hot younger chick; and the whole misdirection here is based on the idea that someone may be upset enough by his death to go into a decline, when it's actually their boyfriend troubles.

Ron is a complete failure and Harry’s already got his elbow propped up on the window.

I like the bit later where Harry's all 'Well, if you still suck, why not take the test when I do?' Yeah, that'll be much better. Harry won't be left out, and Ron will feel much more confident when he's seen Harry pass with Teh Only Perfect Apparition Grade Ever (just one point above Hermione's! That point being awarded for being Harry Potter, of course.)

Hermione tells Harry the Prince can’t help him with Slughorn, that the only way to force someone to do what you want is to Imperio them. Gee, Hermione’s gotten a bit unsophisticated in her old age.

Yeah, but manipulating Skeeter and Hagrid would be much easier than Slughorn. He's so disciplined and difficult to decieve. (Isn't the resolution that...Harry emotionally manipulates him anyway? I guess the oldies really are the goodies.)
Plus the big problem with the Imperio is it's illegal! Not that you'd do it if it wasn't, right, Hermione?
(And I love Harry's 'Yeah, I know, that's why I'm trying other avenues.' bit. That was the first option that came to mind, bitch, I'm not stupid!)
Does she know about Harry's attempt at Crucio? 'Cause if she does, her dismissing options for him based on their legality seems a little naive. (Of course, Ron and Harry still refer to her as the nice one, so perhaps that's just part of being in the Trio: ignore Harry and Hermione's failings.)
I'd LOL if she didn't, though, especially since this is the chapter of Harry mocking what an awful friend Malfoy is to not tell his friends important information about the dubious stuff he's up to.

Fandom puts a lot of importance in Harry’s having disagreed with Snape on the best way to handle Dementors.

I just thought it was a line thrown in to show us what a bad-ass DADA expert martyr Harry is (like the great one later from his defense lawyer the narrator about how Harry gets told off for being late, despite um...being late - but other people were nearly as bad!11! Srsly, I don't know who's more pathetic here, Snape or him.) He's going to get punished for SPEAKING THE TRUTH (again!) but he doesn't care because he's cool. And right.
And Snape will do it, because he's such an awful teacher...OR IS HE? (*PRINCE ANVILS*) and also doesn't know anything about DADA like in POA (unless that was JKR flubbing again?) because he's only good at the DA part (*END OF BOOK ANVILS*) and is generally so emo that he could never make a Patronus anyway (*FANON ANVILS*).

You know what someone should do? Write STUPID across her face in oozing pustules.

Ironic from the girl who left out a headed list of everyone.

Hermione says kindly, showing that while she might have lost interest in house-elves she hasn’t lost her knack for always saying the thing guaranteed to make them more angry and miserable.

Love how the author jabs at Kreacher here - he's 'far from looking grateful'. It really is too awful when the oppressed don't show our heroes the proper respect they deserve for being liberal enough to patronise them. I haven't been this disgusted since the Dursleys didn't shake Arthur by the hand for choking their son.