HBP Chapter Twenty-Three

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

*After a year of endless and (to me) uninteresting discussions, it’s very hard for me to not automatically skip anything with "Horcrux" in the title.

*Harry goes back to Gryffindor, which means an obligatory "arguing with the fat lady" scene. You know, a magical portrait may sound enchanting, but as a security system it sucks. The Fat Lady’s got all the drawbacks of a human guard (she wanders away, falls asleep, gets into pissy moods and lies about the passwords) and none of the advantages (she doesn’t let in a kid she’s seen a million times if he’s forgotten the password, but lets in the wild-eyed shaggy murderer with the knife as long as he’s got one).

*I’d like to think Slytherin’s disappearing wall is a little more sophisticated, comically villainous passwords aside.

*Nick mentions the Baron again. I’m still wary of being too hopeful, but it honestly seems that since OotP (when it was introduced by the Sorting Hat’s new song) the books have consistently brought up that Nick and the Baron are friends. The Baron’s given him a sympathetic description of how Dumbledore looked when he came back to the castle, and Nick knows one of the Baron’s favorite pastimes is groaning and clanking in the Astronomy Tower.

*Harry, following his usual pattern, makes it clear he doesn’t care about the Bloody Baron, or anything else Nick might have to say that he doesn’t think concerns him directly.

*Slughorn tells us Horcruxes are "very dark stuff." So for anybody trying to figure out exactly what Dark Magic is, splitting your soul into pieces so that you don’t die counts. As does a spell that cuts like a knife, we’ll learn later. Causing painful skin ailments and mind-wipes are still okay.

*Harry recognizes a master at work watching Riddle try to get information out of Slughorn. Marvel at how blatantly obvious about it he is, so that Harry can clearly see him manipulating. Watch how he barely keeps himself from salivating as he asks the question—that’s the way it’s done. None of that amateurish stuff where it’s so subtle you’re not aware that it happening.

*Why does Slughorn’s face crumple when he describes what a Horcrux does? One would think he had seen it happen.

*Tom, Master of Subtlety, has now allowed his tongue to roll out on the floor and is audibly panting.

*Slughorn explains that splitting the soul is bad, mmmkay. Because it’s against nature. Unlike biting teacups, hamsters transmogrified into shoes and cars that fly as God intended. So they’re more like abortion, atheism and homosexuality—unnatural stuff!

*Wizards of a certain caliber have always been drawn to these aspects of magic. What, the murderous, dark kind or the immortality kind? Because I actually am seeing a pretty clear pattern between being too much of a creative thinker and being evil. (Note difference between creative thinker and grind.)

*Tom suggests, reasonably, that seven horcruxes would be better than one and Slughorn gets the vapors. My god, Tom! Isn’t it bad enough to think of killing one person! Imagine killing seven! One can see why Slughorn would be so oversensitive to the idea. Wizards are so non-violent as a rule.

*Harry’s surprised to see that the wild look of joy on Tom’s face does not enhance his handsome features. You’d think anything would enhance those handsome features. He’s really handsome, that Dark Lord!

*Still not seeing how Slughorn comes off all that badly in this memory. Or why there was any reason to hide it since it’s not like he gave Tom the idea for anything or helped him in his plan in any way. Or why it was so important for us to see the memory instead of Slughorn just confirming that Voldemort did ask him about Horcruxes once and all but announced his plan to make seven of his own as soon as possible.

*You know, I’m going to give Tom the benefit of the doubt on not killing Slughorn here and assume that while he for some reason hasn’t killed him for knowing about Tom’s interest in seven Horcruxes he has killed every single person along the way who gave him more practical help in making them.

*Dumbledore’s been hoping for this piece of "evidence" (not like he’s using it in a trial or solving a murder) for a long time. A time that would have been shorter if he hadn’t insisted on sending Harry after it.

*Dumbledore’s now figured out what to do…not that he’s going to share it with us outright. Harry will in fact end the book with little more knowledge than he’s got now.

*Harry asks if Voldemort didn’t possibly split his soul in two. Bless his little brain, he hasn’t worked his way up to seven yet even after that memory.

*Call me a Dark Wizard, but I’m a bit surprised that Voldemort’s the first one to ever split his soul into more than two pieces. I’ve spent six years with these people and I think they’d all have at least three soul pieces on their bathroom shelf by now.

*Frankly, I’m surprised Hufflepuff hasn’t been re-named "Bodies for Soul Splitting" House by now.

*Dumbledore explains how he knew the diary was a Horcrux because he’d never heard of anything so strange as a mere memory starting to think and act for itself. Unlike, you know, that painted portrait of a lady who just recently independently decided to lie to our hero about the password because he annoyed her. Or the photograph of Percy Weasley that decided to walk out of the picture on its own. Or the oil paintings surrounding Dumbledore that regularly comment on current events. Or the mirrored reflections that talk back.

*In the final battle Harry will fight under a red and gold standard that reads "I still don’t understand."

*Dumbledore then explains how the fact that the diary had another purpose besides being a Horcrux indicated to him that Voldemort had made or had been planning to make others. I mention this because that’s actually a nice piece of deductive reasoning that makes sense.

*Okay, maybe it’s a little tainted by the fact I just sat through:
Riddle: So if you can make one Horcrux, how about seven?
Slughorn: Seven? Why Seven?
Riddle: Seven is a magic number.
Slughorn: Still, seven Horcruxes?
Riddle: I like seven. Seven is a good number of Horcruxes to have.
Slughorn: Are you thinking of making a Horcrux, then?
Riddle: I’m thinking of making seven.

*Dumbledore again makes a veiled reference to his dead hand. Seems he was almost killed destroying the ring, but was saved because he’s so great and so is Snape. Can’t say things are looking too good for Harry, who’s going to have to destroy four more of these things without either of them.

*Btw, that wasn’t "the story of what happened to my hand" was it? Because if I were Harry and was expected to take it from here, I’d want more than just "terrible curse—good thing Snape was there and I’m so awesome."

*'The locket!' Harry said loudly. ‘Hufflepuff’s cup!’ I don’t know what’s sillier about the use of the word "loudly" here. The way it makes Harry sound mentally challenged, or the way it highlights JKR’s adverb-dependency.

*It doesn’t help that a couple paragraphs later Harry’s counting on his fingers. Probably loudly.

*Dumbledore suggests that Voldemort’s soul might also be encased in his cat Fiddle. Err…I mean his snake Nagini. Voldemort’s never read Diana Wynn Jones.

*I hope Nagini isn’t a Horcrux. I find the idea lame.

*Dumbledore says Harry can come on his next Horcrux hunt. Harry feels his heart lift because it’s good to not hear words of caution and protection for once. Frankly, when dealing with Gryffindor I think one should always go heavy on the words of caution and protection. Even if they’re just going into the bathroom.

*Hee. I love Lucius. When I picture him having to tell Voldemort about the diary I always picture Dr. Evil’s henchman having to tell him how they got sick of waiting for him so they went ahead and created Scott.

*So Lucius was also trying to get rid of the diary as an incriminating object in CoS, as was foreshadowed in the B&B scene. He really was trying to cut some ties there.

*I confess: I love FuckUp!Lucius.

*Remember Harry, even if Voldemort has a damaged soul his brain is intact. Given Voldemort’s brilliant plan in GoF, I think his brain being intact might actually be an advantage to the good guys.

*Dumbledore impresses on Harry that his ability to love really is amazing, after all he’s been through. Well, that ought to appeal to Harry. "It’s amazing that you are such a great guy what with all the assholes you’re surrounded by and all the great suffering you face every day. You really deserve extra credit just for not going postal and killing everyone. Instead you allow others to be your friend. How are you so awesome?"

*Dumbledore then goes on to explain, most wonderfully, that by "power of love" he means "vengeful rage and vague feeling that honor demands you murder your parents’ killer." Phew! I was worried about everything resting on Harry Potter’s capacity for love, but if you’re going to define love that way Harry’s your man.

*Dumbledore’s getting impatient with Harry now. Clever the way Rowling has Dumbledore be patient while Harry was not getting the obvious, but when it comes to the part of the story that any reader might question along with him he’s having none of it. Move along now. Nothing to see here.

*Dumbledore then goes on to give another inspiring speech about vengeance. The story’s about love, I tell you. Like City of God, the Godfather, Hamlet—it’s all about the love, baby!

*Another stunning piece of HP Logic: Voldemort kills Harry’s Mum and Dad. He accidentally gives him powers and occasional flashes into his mind. Yet Harry has never become tempted to become one of Voldemort’s followers. Which proves that Harry…is protected by his ability to love? WTF? I would say it more just suggests that becoming a follower of someone chasing you with murderous intent is a conflict of interest.

*In short: Pure of heart my arse.

*So the point of all Dumbledore’s hyperventilating is that the Prophecy that we all thought was so useless at the end of the last book was in fact just as useless as we all thought at the end of the last book. Good to know. Let’s move on.

*This chapter may read differently if you’re a Gryffindor, and the only two choices you’d really consider are walking into the arena with your head held high or being dragged. Not so much if you’re Slytherin (Can I just pay a fine in lieu of deadly combat?) a Hufflepuff (My friends and I drove the enemy out of town with pitchforks last night so I wouldn’t have to fight him alone) or a Ravenclaw (our society outlawed mortal combat for sport years ago because it’s stupid, so we arranged a prison break last night and I’m writing you from Venice).

*Seriously, Harry’s medieval mind is far purer than his heart. When he says that "some people" wouldn’t see the difference between those two situations of deadly combat, you can practically hear the contempt for those kinds of people—they’re just too resigned and craven to not be inflamed the way Harry is by the prospect. It totally doesn’t occur to him that someone not seeing a big difference between those two choices might not be giving up but thinking bigger.




Designated Hero
Harry is Pure of Heart. We know this by the way he looked into the Mirror of Desire and saw not riches or immortality but the ability to stop the guy who was trying to kill him. So not remarkable in any way. Even if Harry didn’t already have riches and even if Harry weren’t too young at eleven to want immortality.

Exploitation Filmmakers’ Credo
Without this rule this chapter would be two and a half pages long. Most of it’s devoted to Harry learning about the difference between being dragged into an arena for deadly battle and walking into the arena with your head held high, which he learned more dramatically in GoF.

IITS
Err…I know Tom’s questions about horcruxes are a little morbid, but why is Slughorn acting like Tom’s eaten a kitten in front of him? Oh…IITS.

Idiot Picture
So Voldemort’s hidden his soul bits all in places that one can figure out from reading his autobiography, because it never occurred to him that once he started taking over the world anyone would bother to be interested in his past. Thanks Tom!

Informed Attributes
I can’t believe I just read a chapter in a children’s book devoted to twisting the power of love into a thirst for vengeance because that’s our hero’s real strong point.

Ken and Andrew’s Rule of Plot Holes
"But sir, why did I spend the whole last big fat book running after that Prophecy that you were keeping secret from me when it was totally redun…" SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO ME TALK ABOUT LOVE!

Misdirected Answering
Yes, but how do I destroy the damn things, sir? Without shriveling up limbs right and left?

Final score: 7

Slytherin liquid count: Flashback to Slughorn means Pensieve water and more mead.