Deathly Hallows, Chapter 18: The Life and Lies of Albus Dumbledore

[oneandthetruth.livejournal.com]

Or, Dishing the Dirt on Dumbledore, Part 3

Author’s note: This is it, ladies and gentlemen. For those of you who’ve been wondering why this series, its characters, its creator, and her sycophant fans are so screwed up, here’s your answer. I fully expect the essay in the last half of this installment to revolutionize Harry Potter criticism. Enjoy!

Harry sits there at dawn, continuing to wallow in the trauma of losing his wand. No matter what anybody says, wands have to be phallic symbols. Nothing else can explain Harry’s trauma; he acts like Hermione’s broken his penis instead of a stick he uses to channel his magic. After some of Harry’s physical injuries over the series have been recapped, we get this histrionic passage:

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