PS Chapter Three: "The Letters from No One"

[for-diddled.livejournal.com]

* “‘They stuff people’s heads down the toilet first day at Stonewall,’ [Dudley] told Harry. ‘Want to come upstairs and practise?’ ‘No thanks,’ said Harry. ‘The poor toilet’s never had anything as horrible as your head down it – it might be sick.’” Much as I like this sort of witty repartee, it doesn’t really seem in character for a sufferer of the sort of abuse Harry undergoes.



* New theory: the books are actually the authorised biography of Harry Potter. Whoever wrote it didn’t do their research properly and just relied on Harry’s reminisces; the Dursleys’ abusiveness is just his ploy to get sympathy and never really happened, which is why Harry never comes across as an abuse victim, and the plot-holes are all a result of Harry’s memory/skill at making stuff up being faulty.

* Smeltings boys wear funny uniforms and attack each other with sticks. So basically it’s like a non-magical version of Hogwarts, then.

* I’m surprised the Dursleys would send Harry to school without the proper uniform. Even if they don’t care about Harry himself, they’d surely want to avoid any negative gossip from the other parents.

* So Dumbledore clearly knows enough about Harry’s situation to send the letter to “The Cupboard under the Stairs”, but has done absolutely sod all to improve his treatment. (From the way the Dursleys react, it looks like a stern letter would have been enough.) What a jerk.

* Dudley’s never touched his books, unlike the famous bookworm Harry Potter.

* So Hogwarts’ way of making sure Harry gets his letter is to just keep sending ever-larger numbers of them? Erm, OK...

* I can’t imagine a hotel that serves stale cornflakes and cold tinned tomatoes for breakfast would stay in business very long. Even the really cheap hotels don’t have food this actively unappetising on the menu.

* Dudley only knows the days of the week because of television, unlike Harry, who apparently doesn’t know them at all.

* We’re probably meant to think that the “funny crunching noise” outside is Hagrid approaching the shack, but I seriously doubt it would take him two minutes from landing on the island to knocking on the door.

* “[M]aybe he’d wake Dudley up, just to annoy him,” said no abuse victim ever.