09 HP Philosopher’s Stone

[chantaldormand]

Ch9 Midnight Duel

>With a title this exciting, this chapter has to be fun. Right? Right??

>”Harry had never believed he would meet a boy he hated more than Dudley, but that was before he met Draco Malfoy” Woah Harry, you are coming on bit strong here. You shouldn’t consider your hate level before first date.

>In all seriousness, I’m not sure what Draco did to earn such high level of admiration. Up until this chapter I could count the amount of scenes Harry shared with Draco on fingers of one hand. In none of those scenes Draco did anything that rude or mean. Heck, if anything Harry was ridiculously rude.

>”Ron couldn’t see what was so exciting about a game with only one ball (...)”... Oh my. +1 to FWBP

>Harry, perhaps Neville had so many accidents, because the school’s architecture is actively trying to kill him?

>For that matter, perhaps Hermione isn’t nervous because you cannot learn flying from book, but because those moronic adults expect her to fly on wooden stick that doesn’t have any obvious ways to steer it?

>Remembrall is one of those cute pointless objects that wizards are prone to creating. What is point in telling you that you forgot something, if it doesn’t tell you what you’ve forgot.

>Remember, Harry and Ron was itching for fight with Malfoy.

>Huh? I don’t recall ever seeing a character doing whole “Up!” thing after this scene.

>Our favourite Stu of course gets his broom to jump into his hand at once.

>Neville fall’s from height of at least 20 feet onto grass; after quick crunch of numbers I get a bit over 6 metres. Now as someone who also did fall from similar height I can honestly tell that aside from apparently broken wrist, Neville should at very least have problems with catching his breath, be bruised and considering his position quite possibly have a concussion. Hooch definitely shouldn’t try to get him up.

>Funny thing, if Harry didn’t start flex his metaphorical muscles here, Malfoy would lost his interest and the situation wouldn’t escalate so much. It’s like foreshadowing of the end of this book- if Harry didn’t stuck his nose in, situation could be handled in much smoother way. 

>It’s not even like Neville is Harry’s friend or respected by our hero- narrative constantly points out how pathetic Neville is without showing anything positive about him.

>While breaking rule to retrieve someone else’s treasured possession might be honourable thing to do, let’s not kid ourselves the only reason Harry does it is because it’s Malfoy who does bulling. Had Ron or anybody else tried to do this, Harry either would join or ignore them. +1 to Crime Count

>It might be my dirty mind, but description of Harry’s first flight sounds quite sexually. +1 to FWBP

>Of course Harry doesn’t need to learn how to fly; he is James’ son after all! He has got those special Potter genes that tell him what to do to fly well on a stick!

>Harry: There are no bodyguards here to protect you from my brutal assault!
Draco: Damn it, I’m in air with a psycho, think quick!

>Minerva is totally right. Superb flying genes or not, Harry had quite high chances of seriously injuring himself or even getting himself killed. +1 to Death Count.

>After a brief moment of thinking like a real grown-up, Minnie remembers that she is supportive character in children’s literature and ends up rewarding our reckless hero.

>Harry’s panic is almost cute and creepy at the same time- all those images fit in mind of panicked 11 year old’s, but the comment about using cane on him validates the whole Durslays-are-abusive theme. Or it would, if we didn’t see how cartoonish the abuse is.

>And here we have first example of Dumbledore favouring Gryffindors: bending rules just so their team has better chances at winning sports competition.

>Ron: You’re joking.
Harry: I’m resident Gary Stu, of course I’m not being punished for being so awesome! Heck they even gave me a special title: The Youngest Player in the Century!

>Bugh? Lee found a new secret passageway out of the castle? When exactly Weaslay twins found/Rowling came up with idea for the Map?

>I started to suspect that WW law system relies heavily on blood feuds, but Rowling is pretty inconsistent with honour vs rules stuff. On one hand teachers in Hogwarts punish kids for fighting in corridors, yet in later books and on Pottermore we see that it’s expected to punish whoever offends you instead of going to proper authorities.

>Woah, Harry is really rude to Hermione. Sure she is nagging and butting into someone else’s conversation, but still.

>So a few paragraphs ago Ron claimed that the worst our pro duellers can do is send some sparks at each other, now he frets about blocking hexes. See Harry, even your sidekick can tell how bad this idea was.

>It’s 11:30 PM and there is no students working on their homework or preparing for OWLS/NEWTS?

>With all this flicking on lamp dramatics and scolding, Hermione looks like an angry parent who catches teenagers sneaking around. *Snicker*

>Why Hermione didn’t tell Percy?? She isn’t friends with those two geniuses, who are very rude to her each time she tries to talk with them. She is still on good terms with Percy and at this point telling on them is very much in her character...

>This time it’s Hogwarts’ interior design that endangers students. I imagine that if student died while being locked out from their dormitory, it would be their own fault not the paintings. +1 to Crime Count for breaking curfew.

>If School’s nurse mended Neville’s arm in minute then why the heck he is locked out?? Flying lesson was before dinner. If I didn’t already know the rest of this book, I would think that Jo was trying in very convoluted way set up friendship between those 4 kids, but even at the end of the series Harry doesn’t treat Neville like a friend.

>Headmaster with decades of experience decides to lock up doors that lead to “certain death” in the way that doesn’t prevent a bookish first year from opening it. I’m starting to wonder how there were no deaths in the first book. +1 to Spell Count for Hermione

>Of course by this point my imaginary group of Ravenclaws already explored the corridor and possibly came to conclusion that it was some kind of test for students.

>” What do they think they’re doing, keeping a thing like that locked up in a school?” ‘They’ think that Hogwarts is ‘their’ own playground where ‘they’ can perform social experiments on teenagers. 

>Ron is right, Fluffy really could use some exercise. Does chewing on corpse of protagonist counts as exercise? +1 to Death Count

>Hermione the plot pushing machine comes to rescue: pointing out clues! Seriously I dread to see how otherwise Jo would try to push the main plot.

>”It looked as though Harry had found out where the grubby little package from vault seven hundred and thirteen was” Another Leap of Logic courtesy of our hero. +1 to Leap of Logic

Crime Count: 2

Death Count: 2

Freud Would Be Proud: 2

Leap of Logic: 1

Uncovered: 0

Spell Count: 1 for Hermione