deathtocapslock | 11 HP Philosopher’s Stone (Reply)

Ch11 Quidditch

>Ugh it’s the Quidditch chapter... Jo, are you sure we must suffer this?

>Did I read it correctly? Quidditch season starts in November? In Scotland? A sport that forces you to fly at high speeds on a stick and doesn’t need snow?

>Harry doesn’t understand how news of him being on Quidditch team becomes common knowledge. I on the other hand don’t understand how one moment he can make leaps of logic worth Sherlock Holmes and another being stumped by 2+2 equation.

>Harry is glad that Hermione is his friend, because he wouldn’t be able to complete all his homework. Our protagonist ladies and gents.

>+1 to Spell Count for Hermione for the flame and +1 to Crime Count since you are not supposed to cast spells outside of classes.

>I agree with Harry- Sev made up this rule. Forbidding students from taking library books out of school seems way too reasonable for wizards.

>”Wonder what’s wrong with his leg?” Considering how whimsical Hogwarts’ architecture is and what other dangerous animals/objects reside in this building, you probably could make a game out of guessing.

>Harry peeks on horrible scene of Filch and Snape. Alone in staffroom. With Snape rising up his robe. Oh my!+ 1 to FWBP

>If Snape checks the Stone protections on Dumbledore’s orders, why he doesn’t go to Hospital Wing?

>Albus: Severus my boy, would you kindly check the defences around the Stone? And if you happen to get injured remember to make sure that Harry Potter sees the injuries.
Severus: Excuse me?

>Harry makes yet another leap of logic driven by emotions. If any other teacher was injured by Fluffy I doubt he would accuse them of trying to steal from school. +1 to Leap of Logic

>Hermione received urgent message from her author and now is trying to motherhen Harry into eating something before his match.

>Aww, Harry’s roommates are way more supportive of him than he ever will be of them. Although I have to wonder why they decided that “Potter for President” banner was a right choice.

>So kids used sheets destroyed by Ron’s rat to create banner. Two things: a) I wasn’t aware that in Great Britain students can do whatever they want with Schools property and b) apparently at this point repairing spells do not exist in HP world. +1 to Crime Count

>POV shenanigans starts here and I kind of wish that Jo kept it up for the rest of series. HP books would be so much more interesting if we weren’t stuck in Harry’s head.

>Lee’s commentary is so biased and annoying that I cannot help but wonder how the hell someone didn’t try to hex him or otherwise cause injury.

>I almost missed it, but apparently Katie was hit in the back of her head with Bludger and somehow not only Lee doesn’t make nasty comments about rival Beater, but also makes it sound as it didn’t do much damage to her???

>So Hagrid can eat with teachers, but there is no space reserved for him in teachers’ part of stadium. Nice going guys.

>Wood’s plan is stating obvious. How this guy ended up as captain of the team?

>Twins have golden watches. I sincerely hope they are gifts from hated relative; otherwise they are risking a serious damage to expensive item by bringing it to Quidditch match.

>I’m not sure why, but each time I think about Seeker’s job I’m reminded of Monty Python’s sketch “Olympic Hide-and-Seek”.

>Flint blocking here Harry is called foul, but in not so far away future Harry flying at rival team like a spear is ok. Also Flint almost knocking Harry out of air is bad, but flying cannonballs doing this regularly is just part of the sport.

>There are no rules in Quidditch that force players off field for cheating? It’s no wonder that Gryffindor has no reserve players! Why bother if you can heal any injury in a few minutes?

>So Quirrell decides that now is the best place and time for murder attempt? Let’s say that he succeeded and Harry died after falling from oddly behaving broom. Not only there is plenty of witnesses, but also plenty of people willing to secure evidence for investigation. On the other hand if Quirrell helped Harry fall from stairs it could be ruled as accidental death. It’s like Voldemort likes to sabotage his own plans. +1 to Death Count, Harry totally should have fall off the broom. +1 to Leap of Logic.

>”Can’t nothing interfere with a broomstick except powerful Dark Magic - no kid could do that to a Nimbus Two Thousand.” Really Hagrid? So mechanical damage couldn’t interfere with enchantments on the broom? This sounds like awfully large jump in logic. +1 to Leap of Logic

>Also once again Seamus asks questions. I wish this guy was our protagonist.

>Another Leap of Logic courtesy of Hermione. For all she knew Snape could be praying for Harry. +1 to Leap of Logic.

>Flint scores 5 times when everybody is too distracted by Potter Drama to notice. I’m not expert on team sports, but I think it shouldn’t count?

>Hermione’s begins her criminal career by setting teacher on fire. If you are going to be bear, be Grizzly... I guess? +2 to Crime Count, +1 to Spell Count for Hermione

>Is Harry some kind of gymnastic genius? Being able to pull up your body weight onto stick when: a) you are supposed to be scrawny b) have no help from your legs, from my perspective seems to be outlandish.

>Well either that or he uses accidental magic as sunnyskywalker suggested.

>Neville being highly emphatic child is ridiculed by narrative. Considering who our main character is I suppose it is par for the course.

>And then Harry chocked to death on Snitch. The End. Not. +1 to Death Count

>I agree with Flint. Seeker catching Snitch via authorial shenanigans should not count.

>Harry shows his cards bit too early and Hagrid clams up. Sadly Harry’s tactics do not get better in following books.

>Question of the day: what happens to Fluffy after this book?

>Hagrid’s logic: Snape is teacher at this school so of course he wouldn’t try to steal an artifact from it. How old are you Hagrid? 60? Or perhaps 6?

>I fail to see logic here: what is connection between Snape supposedly trying to kill Harry and him supposedly trying to steal something from school? It’s not like Harry has any proof that could force the real criminal to silence him. +1 to Leap of Logic

>If Harry was not as moronic as he is, Hagrid could have easily spelled out plot of this book. It’s great to have army of kids that fix your screw ups, isn’t it Hagrid? +1 to Uncovered

>Hagrid looks furious at himself meanwhile I’m furious at Harry for once again prolonging plot when there is no reason to.

Crime Count: 4

Death Count: 2

Freud Would Be Proud: 1

Leap of Logic: 5

Uncovered: 1

Spell Count: 2 for Hermione