deathtocapslock | 02 HP Chamber of Secrets (Reply)

Ch2 Dobby’s Warning

>With title like this, I’m imagining Dobby wearing stereotypical Mafioso get-up.
Dobby: Master will send Dobby to break your kneecaps if you don’t... comply with his request.

>Dobby knows perfectly well how to endear himself to our protagonist: flattery and practically falling over yourself.

>So Harry is afraid that his relatives will hear Dobby, but his pet owl manages to sleep through Dobby’s introduction. +1 to Leap of Logic

>Harry, care to share how you know that your Aunt’s laugh is false?

>Harry tells Dobby to “Sit down” which doesn’t sound extremely polite yet Dobby starts to loudly cry and thanking him for being so nice? Am I only person who questions just how sane is this house elf?

>Dobby ‘punishes’ himself when he “almost spoke ill of his family”. Is thought crime a thing among House Elves?

>Apparently Dobby is independent enough to warn Harry, yet he has to punish himself when he thinks about speaking ill of family he serves. +1 to Leap of Logic

>In GoF a House Elf managed to get herself fired quite easily, yet here Dobby the Rebellious House Elf cannot think up a way to get fired. Either Dobby isn’t very creative or Jo changed her mind between books.

>”This makes the Dursleys sound almost human.” This line explains so much about Harry’s behaviour over the series.

>And yet instead of trying to get to the point, Harry indulges in more flattery from Dobby. I’m starting to miss Letter Drama from PS.

>Ok, so how comes Dobby heard about Quirrell-Voldie-Harry drama yet it is never used by press in later books? Rita would sell her soul for this kind of scope!

>Instead of trying to get Dobby to tell him why he cannot go back to Hogwarts, Harry ends up protesting. I hate when authors do that.

>Once Harry actually starts to try to get some information, he does it in such oblivious way that Dobby clams up. Can we do some recasting for protagonist? I’m sure there are many characters in this series that could do much better job.

>Bah, instead of trying to bargain with Dobby or outsmart him, our hero starts tossing demands. Jo are you sure that this is character that children should take example from? + 1 to Crime Count for stealing private correspondence. +1 to Leap of Logic

>Ok, if Dobby wanted to get Harry in trouble with the ministry, why he needed to go downstairs? Unless Dobby wanted to get Harry in trouble with Durslays... That makes him so much worse as a person.

>”He jumped the last six steps, landing catlike on the hall carpet...” While Harry couldn’t train his mad Quidditch skills, he sure as hell kept up with his gymnastics training.

>So there is this twelve year old kid who begs you to not attract his relatives’ attention or they will kill him. What do you do? Of course you attract attention of his relatives! +1 to Uncovered

>Did House Elves always generated cracking sound when they teleported?

>Ministry’s warning letter makes me wonder how they detect usage of magic by minors. Would accidental magic register as normal spell? How about brewing potion? +1 to Uncovered

>Also I’m amused by how MoM informs minors of their transgressions: if muggles didn’t notice magic being preformed, then they surely will notice an owls swooping with the letter. +1 to Uncovered

>Apparently the law prohibiting kids from using magic outside of school is from 1875. It seems that lawbreaking is running strong in the family.

>I want to point out that Harry’s imprisonment isn’t just out of Durslay’s cruelty. From Durslay’s POV, Harry crashed the dinner party out of sheer malice. Not to mention that through last few weeks their nephew was using empty threads against whole family. Abusive relatives or not, Harry’s behaviour deserves punishment.

>As far as I’m concerned Harry is reaping what he sown. Had he been more careful with handling Durslays and Dobby non of this would take place. Shame Harry doesn’t learn from this experience.

>Vernon’s plan would be good, if he didn’t forget that his moronic nephew is celebrity. Wizards would come to drag him to school, even if Harry didn’t want to come.

>I would love to see Arabella’s report about the bars.
Arabella: Recently Durslay’s installed bars over one of their windows. Isn’t it peculiar Albus? Those muggles... Mrs. Ashford, from Privet Drive 7, claims she heard Vernon Durslay cackling like a madman. Poor thing probably is overstressed. He is always working so hard... Albus? Where are you going?? I haven’t shown you yet my new collection of Mr. Thimble photos!

>Harry’s behaviour is pathetic. No attempts at escaping when he is taken to bathroom. No attempts to attract attention of his neighbours. Not even a pitiful attempt at imitating action heroes and picking up lock with small object. Tunnel Vision is strong in this one. +1 to Leap of Logic

>I bet that if somebody placed him on his back and pressed on his chest, Harry would freeze up like chicken :)

>One would think that as someone who is used to not getting dinner Harry would know that you are not supposed to eat food quickly when you don’t have much of it.

>If I was Hedwig, I also would be disgusted. Veggies do not belong in owl’s diet. Heck, she probably can’t even digest them.

>”Would they be able to make the Dursleys let him go?” *Snickers* Harry obviously managed to forget majority of the last book. Honestly, if he stayed until member of faculty came to save his ass, Dumbledore might be forced to relocate Harry.

>Thank gods, cavalry arrived! We are saved from Potter whining.

>Also apparently Ron has long nose. I haven’t noticed it until this chapter. Let’s hope he doesn’t end up like Pinocchio.

Crime Count: 1

Death Count: 0

Freud Would Be Proud: 0

Leap of Logic: 4

Uncovered: 3

Spell Count: 0