08 HP Chamber of Secrets

[chantaldormand]

Ch8 The Deathday Party

>Peperup Potion is a cold cure. Try to tell this to fanfiction writers.

>Ginny is “bullied” into taking medicine by the only Weasley brother who cares about her. First of all a big middle finger to narrative for vilifying a caring older brother and second: Aww.

>There is this maniacal quidditch captain (who loves to train in bad weather condition) on loose and people are mystified by high amount of cases of cold? By this point Gryffindor team has to be addicted to Peperup Potion

>”‘… don’t fulfil their requirements … half an inch, if that …’” Woah, for a moment there I thought that “half an inch” applied to more private parts. +1 to FWBP

>Why is Harry returning from training on his own? Did his team finally decided to boot him out and participate in orgy? +1 to FWBP

>For 12 year old boy, this is a pretty detailed description of man’s outfit.

>Wait, “transparent letter”? WTH? Ghosts in this universe have ghostly mail?

>So Nick can’t fully participate in club’s activities, yet he acts like they don’t want to accept him because they are bunch of dicks. +1 to Leap of Logic

>Now I keep imagining Nick as evil witch from the Sleeping Beauty. Thanks Jo!

>Mrs. Norris is “skeletal”. Is Albus paying Argus so little that he cannot afford feeding his own cat?

>Somewhere out there, there is a fic that describes constant Sisyphean work that is cleaning Hogwarts via muggle methods. All while people who could speed up the process laugh at you.

>Considering twins’ shenanigans I’m surprised they aren’t on permanent cleaning duty!

>Harry is no longer content with just breaking rules, now even non-magical law isn’t safe! +1 to Crime Count for reading private correspondence.

>Hmm, if there is market big enough to create this correspondence course, does it mean that not all wizards/witches attend Hogwarts?

>Since when turning somebody into animal=charms?

>Why upgrading your poor education means that you are not proper wizard? +1 to Leap of Logic

>If the cabinet is “wreckage” now, how Draco is able to use it in HBP? I would expect Hogwarts’ staff to get rid of furniture that was reduced to “wreckage”.

>Ah, now I understand why Nick is Gryffindor’s ghost: mindless destruction of valuable school property in the name of sucking up to our hero!

>I find it odd that ghosts celebrate as traumatic event as their death.

>Oh my, is it me or Nick is just as manipulative as twins in the previous book.

>Once again Gryffindors stole schools property, are about to destroy it and combine it with casual animal abuse. The fact that this is a background to our hero talking with his friends instead of important plot point is infuriating. +3 to Crime Count.

>The salamander managed to escape into fire, but did it survive the rough treatment???

>How creating a “troupe of dancing skeletons” is not considered dark magic? Even if this is simple animating spell, it’s still desecration of corpses.

>Once again Halloween rolls in and Harry doesn’t angst over not having parents.

>Harry did learn well from the last year. If it wasn’t for his bossy friend he would ignore his promise to Nick and stuff his face with candies!

>I would think that instead of “scratching nails over blackboard” style of music, ghost would prefer music from their time period, but what do I know.

>So here is a question: in this universe ghosts aren’t chained to one place? They can haunt whatever place they want no matter where they died/where their remains are? Nobody is safe from righteous retribution...even from the dead...

>As we can see Hogwarts has high standards: they allow resident ghosts destroy property and keep toilets out of commission for decades.

>Hogwarts budget must be eaten away by food providers. First constant food porn, now huge waste of food for Nick’s party...

>This time Jo failed at... chemistry? Biology? Rotting does not work like that!

>Nick is quite rude: he invited humans to his party, yet he doesn’t provide any food for them.

>Where the Hunt gets their ghostly horses?

>Eh, the Hunt does act like a group of jerks, but Nick already knows this, so I don’t get why he invited them/wants to join them.

>Why the heck a hungry Basilisk would sound “murderous”? It’s looking for a meal, so that adjective doesn’t fit here.

>Jo, I don’t know how to tell you this, but snakes do not hunt by smelling blood. Shocking, I know.

>Let’s analyse the sequence of events:
1) Diarycrux releases Basilisk.
2) Basilisk petrifies the cat.
3) Basilisk slithers around the pipes, while Diarycrux paints his calling card on wall and hangs the petrified cat on torch. Also closes the entrance to the chamber.
4) Diarycrux manages to successfully evade other students and somehow Percy who was observing Ginny closely enough to spot health problems, doesn’t notice that his baby sister is missing.
5) The trio stumbles onto crime scene.
All of this sounds like the least effective and the most dramatic method the Horcrux could have picked. In other words Voldie here is perfectly in character.

>Also +1 to FWBP for description of Draco :P

Crime Count: 4

Death Count: 0

Freud Would Be Proud: 3 

Leap of Logic: 2

Uncovered: 0

Spell Count: 0