09 HP Chamber of Secrets

[chantaldormand]

Ch9 The Writing on the Wall

>The title does not fit the chapter. Just saying.

>”Attracted no doubt by Malfoy’s shout, Argus Filch came shouldering his way through the crowd. Then he saw Mrs Norris and fell back, clutching his face in horror.” Poor Argus :(

>Lockhart lit candles, but since it’s not mentioned how he does it, no Spell Count points for him

>Damn it Albus, you are a wizard! You don’t need to get so close to half dead cat that you almost touch it with your nose. Unless you secretly have supreme sense of smell…

>I imagine Severus has such strange expression, because Minerva and Albus look ridiculous during their examination.

>Harry the paragon of empathy, whose secret power is love, feels “bit sorry for Filch. Not as sorry as for himself”, just to be clear!

>Huh, according to Harry’s inner monologue words trump evidence in court of justice. It’s good that Jo never tried to write a courtroom... oh.

>Of course no student could have done that, it’s not like there is a hidden room full of various magical and non-magical objects. Or a section of library housing illegal books...

>Also is there any spell that can petrify living beings or are we back to “enchantment situation” from PS?

>Why Argus would own up to being Squib in front of students?

>”‘Potter and his friends may have simply been in the wrong place at the wrong time,’ he said, a slight sneer curling his mouth as though he doubted it, ‘but we do have a set of suspicious circumstances here. Why were they in the upstairs corridor at all? Why weren’t they at the Hallowe’en feast?’” Wait, why Slytherins would go from the Great Hall to their Common Room through “upstairs corridor”? 

>*Sigh* Why Severus is the only character in these books who is capable of basic logic? Not to mention that narrative is constantly demonising him for it...

>Severus’s proposition is quite reasonable. Harry is straight up lying to teachers and possibly hiding important evidence that could lead authorities to finding the Heir. Perhaps if Hogwarts’ staff stopped bending to Harry’s every whim, he would start acting responsibly? +1 to Crime Counter

>Heh, now I’m imagining what would happen if either Seamus or Percy were Paraseltongue. The story would be either much shorter or way more interesting.

>I would think that hearing voices, while not normal, wouldn’t be that negative in WW.

>”‘Midnight,’ said Harry. ‘We’d better get to bed before Snape comes along and tries to frame us for something else.’” No, before Snape rightfully berates you for breaking curfew! +1 to Crime Count

>*Sigh* Ron for 10 years had a choice between twins and Ginny as playmates. You would think that he would be better at dealing with her, yet out of all Weasleys at Hogwarts it’s Percy who tries to comfort his younger siblings.

>Hey, my best friend hears ‘murderous’ voice that petrified cat and wrote edgy threatening messages on wall! What should I do? Well, according to Harry researching in books isn’t correct answer!

>Hermione had right idea: if you can’t find info about historical event ask an expert.Only her execution is lacking and OOC. If it wasn’t for Jo’s need to expose, Hermione would ask Bins after the class, like normal human being. +1 to Leap Of Logic

>Hogwarts was founded over one thousand years ago? I thought that earliest castles in Scotland weren’t built until 12th century?

>Wait, where in Europe there was a persecution of “witches” during tenth century?

>According to Jo one of the founders of her elite school was petty enough to build secret room with secret biological weapon that only his offspring can unleash on unsuspecting children? And all of this because he disagreed with his colleagues? Oh boy, earning her diploma must have been a living hell for Rowling. +1 to Leap of Logic

>If the Chamber is so secret, why there is a legend?

>Heh, we gladly welcome return of anti-intellectual messages. Hordes of scholars never found evidence of the Chamber of Secrets, yet on two separate occasions teenagers discovered it!

>”‘But maybe you’ve got to be related to Slytherin, so Dumbledore couldn’t –’ began Dean Thomas, but Professor Binns had had enough.” Oh the joys of background character foreshadowing plot.

>”‘People here’ll believe anything,’ said Ron in disgust.” Said guy who a few paragraphs ago automatically believed that Salazar Slytherin started ideology of pureblood superiority.

>Gotta love logic here: Dumbledore can’t cure the cat= culprit might not be human +1 to Leap of Logic

>”‘Scorch marks!’ he said. ‘Here – and here –’”Are those scorch marks red herring or explained later?

>Ron being afraid of spiders is not funny. Especially in the universe where spiders can be horse sized.

>The first attack happened near Myrthle’s toilet and Dumbledore DIDN’T seal it off! I would understand it if he didn’t teach during Tom’s years, but this... I’m out of words... +2 to Crime Count +1 to Leap of Logic

>Elite school where one of bathrooms is always out of order and looks like average bathroom in hypermarket. Wonderful!

>Somehow I have feeling that OOTP!Harry took lessons from Myrthle on behaving like a bratty teenager.

>LOL do all Weasley boys have this “girls’ bathroom is unholy territory” attitude?

>”Get – away – from – there –’ he said, striding towards them and starting to chivvy them along, flapping his arms. ‘Don’t you care what this looks like? Coming back here while everyone’s at dinner …’ ‘Why shouldn’t we be here?’ said Ron hotly, stopping short and glaring at Percy. ‘Listen, we never laid a finger on that cat!’

‘That’s what I told Ginny,’ said Percy fiercely, ‘but she still seems to think you’re going to be expelled; I’ve never seen her so upset, crying her eyes out. You might think of her, all the first-years are thoroughly over-excited by this business –’

‘You don’t care about Ginny,’ said Ron, whose ears were reddening now. ‘You’re just worried I’m going to mess up your chances of being Head Boy.’”
Percy is absolutely right. Ron is already of thin ice thanks to the car stunt and here he is doing suspicious things and acting like jerk towards his family. No wonder that a few books later Percy considers Harry to be bad influence on Ron.

>So for the second time in this chapter Hermione goes out of her character. This time she decides that trying to research answer to this mystery is no-go and she has to break at least dozen laws to try get answer in highly convoluted and ineffective way, going only on hunch. Slow down girl, this is not a competition! +3 to Leap of Logic +1 to Crime Count for planning this crime spree.

>Let’s analyse current form of the plan before kids start to execute it:
1. Get illegal book of illegal potions by tricking teacher into signing permission slip.
2. Brew the illegal potion. +1 to Crime Count
3. Steal someone’s identity to interrogate fellow student. +2 to Crime Count
And this is only the outline of this moronic plan!

>In all fairness I’m surprised that kids didn’t decide to complete their Crime Bingo card by forging Lockhart’s signature.

Crime Count: 8

Death Count: 0

Freud Would Be Proud: 0

Leap of Logic: 7

Uncovered: 0

Spell Count: 0