deathtocapslock | 12 HP Chamber of Secrets (Reply)

Ch12 The Polyjuice Potion

>It’s no wonder that Dumbledore almost never seems to work: his office is like a prime estate for procrastinators!

>Fawkes’ rebirth reminds me of that crack theory claiming Nicolas Flamel is Fawkes.

>I wonder how burning phoenix would react to being doused...

>Wouldn’t calling highly intelligent magical creature a “pet” be considered very insulting?

>It’s surprising that with all this commotion, we don’t hear about one of portraits being grumpy due to being woken up.

>Why Rowling insists on presenting Hagrid as wild savage and at the same time rains hellfire on anyone who voices their concerns over his behaviour?

>”Dumbledore tried to say something, but Hagrid went ranting on, waving the rooster around in his agitation, sending feathers everywhere” Poor rooster. Even after his death he isn’t treated properly.

>Wait, when Hagrid says he will wait outside, does he mean waiting for Harry or for his turn?

>Crabble and Goyle do whatever Malfoy does, unlike Hermione and Ron who... oh.

>Wrong, wrong, wrong Harry! Less people means less suspects when one of teachers inevitably notices something fishy going on in Myrthle’s bathroom! + 1 to Leap of Logic

>So when twins bully Harry/cause panic/contribute to Ostracise campaign, it’s funny and ok. When Draco bad mouths our protag, he is evil incarnate? +1 to Leap of Logic +1 to Crime Count

>I’m surprised that after this year Ginny doesn’t hate twins.

>”But their antics seemed to be aggravating Draco Malfoy, who looked increasingly sour each time he saw them at it. ‘It’s because he’s bursting to say it’s really him,’ said Ron knowingly. ‘You know how he hates anyone beating him at anything, and you’re getting all the credit for his dirty work.’” Nope, it’s because they are obnoxious and use beaten to ground joke that wasn’t even funny.

>Darn, I think that all older Weasley kids secretly hate their parents. Now Bill forces his parents to visit him in Egypt instead of saving them money and coming to them.

>The mention of Sccabbers makes me now wonder what Peter told Voldemort about trios misadventures

>And once again we don’t hear about Harry giving anyone gifts or even thanking Molly for sending him anything.

>And once again Hagrid gets drunk during Christmas celebration.

>Huh, so Hermione acknowledges that Goyle and Crabble are Draco’s best friends.

>Boys try to argue with Hermione about the plan, but once again she steamrolls over their protests. Is Hermione an adrenaline junkie?

>Jo, when even your main characters claim that a plan is stupidly overcomplicated and risky, perhaps you should take your time to talk with your editor?

>It’s embarrassing that there are Slytherins who would fall for Hermione’s plan.

>Apparently wizards have very low standards when it comes to parenting. In span of one book we have Crabble and Goyle eating sweets from dubious source and Ginny writing in suspicious magical diary.

>If you are going to knock out a pair of students, steal their identities to interrogate their friend AND steal their shoes, why not grab the rest of their clothes? +1 to Leap of Logic, +3 to Crime Count

>And then Snape came into the bathroom and issued massive point penalty and detentions until school lets out. Right? Nope.

>So according to PS, students’ robes needs name tag, yet here Hermione claims she stole spare robes from laundry. Also while Hermione was getting her adrenaline fill she critically failed her perception check and didn’t notice House Elves minding laundry. Could happen to anyone, I suppose. +1 to Crime Count

>It sooooo would serve the trio right if Hermione made mistake during brewing and they ended up poisoned.+1 to Death Count

>The description of transformation sounds charming. I don’t envy Barty :(

>Harry’s eyesight is corrected by Polyjuice potion, so does it mean that internal organs also change? Can man gain woman’s reproductive organs and vice versa??? What about werewolf drinking it on Full Moon? Damn it Jo!! Get back here and explain this mess!

>I love how the mastermind who thought how she is going to get right ingredients for the potion and that the trio needs bigger robes, failed to think about the most important part of the plan: discovering how to get into Slytherin common room. Especially since they had both time and means to do so! +1 to Leap of Logic

>Right now Hermione is transformed into this strange half-cat form...how can she talk? Cat’s voice box is not compatible with human speech.

>Gosh, they didn’t even spend time to learn how Crabble and Goyle normally act... this mission is one big train wreck...+1 to Leap of Logic

>I’m starting to suspect that vapours from the potion damaged trio’s brains, because they are acting here even more stupid than usual.

>The next victim is Penelopy, isn’t it? Quite curious considering how much effort Percy is putting into finding the culprit. Perhaps that was the reason Riddle picked her.

>So Arthur actually can write laws?? In what dystopia reality Jo is living?

>On surface level Lucius sounds horrible in this quote, but since we don’t know why it’s “ridiculous” and what is in it I reserve my judgement. For all we know it might be so full of loopholes, that it looks like Swiss Cheese.

>Molly threatened reporters with ghoul... please keep telling me how Weasleys are perfect family and how I should try to follow their example.

>Harry and Ron act so strange that there is no way that Draco didn’t catch on. Then again Draco acts in such over-top manner that he might be trolling them. +1 to Uncovered

>Draco’s comment makes me wonder how Albus manages to suppress outrage over what is going on in Hogwarts. Just the corridor of doom and troll incident from PS should piss off parents. Perhaps that is what he does everyday: casting compulsion spells onto students to shut them up and monitoring post.

>I wonder if Draco is so annoyed with Hermione, not because of her blood status, but because of her baseless accusations of him buying his way onto Quidditch team. After all until that scene he didn’t badmouth her...

>WELL, maybe it’s about time Pomfrey DID start question students! Although knowing what goes on in this blasted school, she probably thinks that Hermione is yet another overambitious student attempting animagi transformation.

>She’s got tail, huh? +1 to FWBP.

Crime Count: 5

Death Count: 1

Freud Would Be Proud: 1

Leap of Logic: 5

Uncovered: 1

Spell Count: 0