POA - Chapter 14

[kaskait.livejournal.com]

Snape's Grudge

*How is that for subtlety, the title of the chapter spells it all out for the reader. It is a veritable ANVIL! Woo Hoo SNAPE IS A GRUDGE BEARER!

*So everyone in Gryffindor tower stays awake all night, quaking in fear. No thought is spared for the other houses who could be in danger from Black. They don't matter. In fact, I bet they weren't even awoken to share in the fear vigil. They were just left to sleep.

*Sir Cadogan the plot point picture, is fired from his job. So bring back the FAT lady. Who still hasn't been given a name yet.

*Only FAT people must face the wrath of Sirius Black. She requests some Troll guards and she gets them. That is how desperate Dumbledore was to put her back in danger.

*Filch boards up every nook and cranny in Hogwarts. It kind of reminds me of that scene in the Birds or Night of the Living Dead.

*Filch boards everything up but the secret passage to Honeydukes. Harry considers informing everyone of the HUGE security hole. But really, Hogwarts and the students safety aren't important. Harry has to go to Hogsmeade Dammit!

*Ron is the talk of moment and he pathetically takes pride in that. The narrator quite nastily points out that Ron loves attention. That loser. Only teh Chosen One matters. You're lucky Harry is soooooo benevolent in bestowing his awesome friendship on you Ron.

*You know this reminds of that time in Emma when Miss Smith has her dangerous BRUSH with DEATH! Poor girl was portrayed as being ridiculous, just like Ron. Hmmph, only the SOOPER Main Characters have the right to brag about brushes with death. When they aren't stoically and heroically sucking back the pride.

*Every party has to have a fall guy and that guy is Neville. Neville has no friends now because of the password leak. As if it was his fault that a psycho madman stole his cheat sheet. The kid was in the safety of his own room! Why blame him! Why not blame the people who allow a madman free reign to roam Hogwarts halls? Hmmmm, Dumbledore? Anything, Minerva?

*Oh no, an invitation from the Hagrid. Get ready for a ridiculous subplot and the nonsense that Hagrid sprouts off regularly.

*Blah Blah, Hagrid is preparing for Buckbeak's trial. And Hermione has been visiting Hagrid on a regular basis.

*In the muggle world, a young female student visiting a groundskeeper's hut is just a little bit creepy. They make horror films about those stories. They also make a lot of porn from those stories too. Wasn't that the gist of Lady Chatterly's Lover? OMG, is Rowling ripping that off too? Are we reading, Hercules/Odysseus' excellent Emma-ish adventure with Lady Chatterly's Lover and a Hannibal Lector stalker with a side trip to the Little White Horse and a bit of A Wrinkle in Time?

*I think I just upchucked a little at the previous thought. Hey, I wonder if there is any Hermigrid porn out there?

*Hermione is just doing "legal" work for Hagrid.

*"Bin feelin' a bit lonely Hermione? Are yeh in a righ' state? Well Hagrid's yeh handyman"!

*By the way, Hagrid states, you should cut Hermione some slack and be her friend again. Ron protests that. And Hagrid defends Hermione's rather lackluster control of her cat. Did we expect anything different?

*Hagrid insists on embarrassing himself with Quidditch talk. As if half Giant handymen know anything about Quidditch. Reah-lly.

*Back in Hogwarts, Hermione overhears Harry's plan to sneak into Hogsmeade. She threatens to reveal the secret passage. Harry doesn't protest, he has his flunky Ron rip Hermione a new one. Harry has to go to Hogsmeade dammit.

*Harry tries to enter the Hag's secret passage but he is prematurely interrupted twice by Neville and Snape.

*Poor Neville, he is still under the delusion that Harry is his friend. Neville you are not worthy to hang out with teh chosen one.

*Harry leaves his Neville hanging in the breeze. He breaks through the secret passage and rushes off to Honeydukes.

*Ron and invisible Harry hang out in Hogsmeade together.

*Ummm, yeah, that totally romantic tension scene between Hermione and Ron in the movie? Well it was really all Harry and Ron in the book. I guess the viewing public wasn't ready for the REAL love story.

*Draco arrives with pals and teases Ron. Hmmm, Draco isn't too far wrong about the Burrow living arrangements. I wonder who gives the Malfoys this kind of info? Draco is practically humming "Dueling Banjos"

*Harry is super brave under his invisibility cloak and beats up on Draco. Although, if it was Draco who did this, it would totally be because he was too much of a coward to pull off the cloak and fight like a man.

*Nice of you to pelt everyone with mud Harry. As far as the scene goes, Draco and crowd did not lift a finger to assault Ron. But since you decided to cast the first stone, you are so totally brave and full of pure love.

*Of course the cloak slips off while Harry is still on the attack. Dammit, can't an invisible boy, full of the power of pure love, beat up other boys without there being a big reveal?

*Draco screams and runs away. See? That scream totally justifies Harry's attack. Girly boys who screech must be beaten.

*Harry rushes back to Hogwarts to head Draco off. But he is too late. He runs into Snape and Snape's GRUDGE!

*Snape stares deep into Harry's eyes. Harry heroically stares back. It isn't as if Snape can't read Harry's mind. Unless Harry suddenly stumbles onto a bit of occlumency due to his hatred of Snape.

*Snape then...tells the whole TRUTH about Harry's father. Well it really does hurt and Harry yells back.

*Harry throws the life debt back in Snape's face. Oh Harry, I don't think you were supposed to reveal you knew that to Snape. That was ...um...confidential information.

*Snape reacts by still telling the truth. Apparently being truthful means you have a huge grudge chip on your shoulder.

*Silly Snape, still angry over being a victim of a murder plot after all these years. You are totally overreacting Snapey poo.

*Snape discovers the map. Which, of course, insults him. All in a brave manner because that is how the Marauders were in the past. Totally on the level good guys with songs in their hearts and murder plots in their heads.

*James like totally deserved to be rewarded with Lily-Sue after backing out of said murder plot.

*Lupin swoops in to grab that map. Who knows if it will reveal past murder plot details.

*Snape finally leaves and Lupin gives Harry the third degree about the map.

*Lupin for once in his life is totally, truthful about what kind of psychos he and his group were back in the day. He warns Harry that the map would love to lead him into harms way.

*The Marauders totally have left over murder plots they would like to commit. That is why they left the map.

*Back in Gryffindor tower, a weepy Hermione tells Harry/Ron that Buckbeak will be executed.

*Sigh, no more private meetings at the Groundskeeper hut.

Comments

[revolution25.livejournal.com]

*You know this reminds of that time in Emma when Miss Smith has her dangerous BRUSH with DEATH! Poor girl was portrayed as being ridiculous, just like Ron. Hmmph, only the SOOPER Main Characters have the right to brag about brushes with death. When they aren't stoically and heroically sucking back the pride.

But in Emma they were kids. Sure there were a bunch of them, and they were gypsies, but they were kids. And when Bettsy ran off, she should have followed. Unless you're being sarcastic, then I'm sorry.

[papier.livejournal.com]

SNAPE IS A GRUDGE BEARER!

NO WAI! D:

So everyone in Gryffindor tower stays awake all night, quaking in fear. No thought is spared for the other houses who could be in danger from Black. They don't matter. In fact, I bet they weren't even awoken to share in the fear vigil. They were just left to sleep.

I think we've gone past the point where we can expect Dumbledork to actually give two shits about the rest of the school.

Draco screams and runs away. See? That scream totally justifies Harry's attack. Girly boys who screech must be beaten.

I don't get it - surely he's used to this sort of weird stuff by now? He's a wizard.

Harry rushes back to Hogwarts to head Draco off. But he is too late. He runs into Snape and Snape's GRUDGE!

NO WAI! D:

Silly Snape, still angry over being a victim of a murder plot after all these years. You are totally overreacting Snapey poo.

Snape has to stop with these stupid pity-parties. Murder is only a big deal if it happens, dammit! Otherwise, it's just Gryffindor bravery and he should admire Sirius' handiwork.

Snape discovers the map. Which, of course, insults him. All in a brave manner because that is how the Marauders were in the past. Totally on the level good guys with songs in their hearts and murder plots in their heads.

And the stupid twats actually sign it with their nicknames.