GoF Chapter Fifteen

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

*What do you know? Those schools we suddenly started talking about a few chapters ago are here now! That's lucky.

*Harry just leaves his homework out in the Common Room? That's pretty trusting. It's not like cheating goes against the Gryffindor code.

*That letter to Sirius is a great plan. About as sophisticated as that code they talk in in OotP. I know we complain about the Slytherins not really being cunning, but this letter alone would probably be enough to bar Harry entrance to that house, whatever the hat says.

*Wouldn't it be great if it were Hedwig who turned traitor? She's constantly annoyed at Harry as it is.

*I wonder if Malfoy has to go through this kind of drama before his owl will take a letter for him.

*Note how Ron gets Hermione to "drop it" without adding a mean insult. Actually, it’s often Ron's job to keep Harry from being unduly harassed by Hermione. I guess Harry loves Ginny because while Ron stops at just shutting Hermione up, Ginny rightly humiliates her as well.

*Btw, I love the way Hermione acts like Harry's telling a lie is in any way a problem for her, like she doesn't lie all the time too.

*Dumbledore wants you to know what it feels like to be under Imperius. Really. It's all his idea. Next week I'm going to anally rape everyone in turn, because you have to know what it feels like.

*The thing is, it does make sense for Moody to put them under Imperius to learn to fight it off. That is, it would make sense if he wasn't actually Crouch who needs to help Voldemort put people under Imperius. Is he really doing this because, as Crouch, he just really needs to make others know what he's been living with himself? Because he seems to care an awful lot about that aspect of it.

*What's the National Anthem? Is it the same as the Muggle one? Presumably it is to Dean, being Muggle-raised, but why would wizards know the same one?

*Um, is it me, or does it seem really easy for Harry to fight off the curse? It seems like a hypnosis demonstration with Harry being like one of the (many) people who can't be hypnotized (and anyone can fight off hypnosis). I know Harry must have special talents, but this really makes the rest of the class look like weak-willed fools who all wanted to be Imperio’d. Not to mention Crouch himself.

*And at the end of the class, Harry Potter can throw off the curse entirely. Our job is done here.

*Ron had a lot of trouble. Come on, Imperio’d Ron!

*You know, every year their schoolwork seems to increase to impossible levels when it was already at impossible levels. And Hermione is still able to do three times as much work, in a third the time, with just as much free time left over.

*Snape was forcing them to research antidotes. HBP tangent: I don't understand people who don't see Harry as being at all dishonest about his textbook. I don't think he's being dishonest by using better instructions than the other kids have on his potions (like turning counter-clockwise every 7th stir or whatever), but he is faking a lot of skill and knowledge he doesn't have. When asked to make that antidote in sixth year he really shouldn't have to look to the book for a cheat answer. They do study theory in Potions—he's doing it right here. And Snape's even hinted he's going to poison them before Christmas to see if their antidotes worked.

*Hagrid has increased their workload, but none of it pertains to school at all. He's just wasting time having them admire his personal project that will never be on OWLS because no one else knows they exist.

*Jesus, THAT was the context in which Hagrid calls Draco a ferret? Because he interferes with Hagrid's demand that all the students not only waste their class time but cater to his whims outside of class and pretend to be his friend? I'd apparently given him the benefit of the doubt in my memory and assumed that Malfoy was at least out of line. Bet nobody showed up besides the Trio anyway.

*Scratch that. The Trio doesn't show up either.

*Seeing Hagrid put Malfoy down was especially satisfying, since Malfoy had tried to get Hagrid sacked the previous year. Funny how it doesn't ever occur to them to think of that when they're thinking how Hagrid's class sucks and how much better the alternative is. Perhaps once they drop the class in sixth year they can give lectures to the incoming third years explaining how spiting Malfoy makes their own irritating classes totally worth it.

*Cedric's an idiot. But Ernie is his fanboy. Go Ernie!

*Excuse me, Hermione does not like people only because they're handsome. Gryffindors don't care about looks. If they always wind up dating the best-looking people in school it's only because ugly on the outside means that you’re morally corrupt.

*Not once, in over a thousand pages, does Hogwarts, A History mention house elf oppression. As if to make up for it, the Harry Potter series devotes far too many of its thousands and thousands of pages to house elf oppression, with no discernable good results.

*Ron had to give Hermione money? Ron, who never has a dime to spare and is always moaning about it? Hermione's asking him for money for no reason? I can't believe nobody has demanded to know exactly what this money is going to pay for.

*Hermione reminds us again you can't Apparate on Hogwarts grounds. Unless you are Apparating from a Vanishing Cabinet. Don't ask why.

*Madam Maxine is attractive, btw. Just to reference that whole Gryffindors always wind up with the hotties thing. Even when they're Hagrid.

*Err…I don't think a French person would pronounce Dumbledore as Dumbly-dore. But then, it's about on par with Bulgarian Viktor saying Her-mo-ninny.

*So Beauxbatons shows up in a horse and carriage like Perrault's Cinderella, and their wearing silk robes inappropriate for the weather but fashionable. Durmstrang arrives in a Pirate U-boat and bear skins. I assume they left their horned Viking hats at home?



Box Picture
With the arrival of two extra schools, we're talking a TV miniseries sized cast.

Designated Hero
Wait, isn’t that CoMC a bad teacher? Why do we keep treating him like Mr. Chips?

Exploitation Filmmakers’ Credo
You can't Apparate inside Hogwarts.

IITS
Dumbly-dore?

Informed Attributes
It's amazingly hard for anyone to throw off Imperius. Harry is really special to be able to fight this hard.

Misdirected Answering
I so do not care about House Elves which will never be explained, or why the three Heads of the School judge the tournament. Who the hell else would, really? I'd rather know how Fake!Moody can perform Unforgivables in the school, and why no one else can throw off Imperius.

Offscreen Teleportation
I'm calling this on the Durmstrang ship, which somehow manages to travel from Europe to Hogwarts via ship and not hit the coast.

Misleading Masculine Moniker
Though in this case it's not so much gender as race. Madam Maxime=Hagrid's love interest. Surprise!

Final Score: 8