POA - Chapter 19

[kaskait.livejournal.com]

The Servant of Lord Voldemort

*Get it? The title has a double meaning.

*So old Snappy snaps in wearing Harry's Invisibility Cloak. Which strikes me as kind of useless. What with Harry leaving it around for every Servant of Voldemort to use and it being visible.

*If Snape had a mustachio, he would be twirling it now while he inexplicably spilled out the whole reason why he is even in the room.

*Wow, Snape was on a hit parade that night. Not only did Harry leave his invisibility cloak for him, Lupin left the marauder's map for Snape to look at too.

*Which makes me wonder, why didn't Snape ever confiscate both the cloak and map after this book? And really, do people who leave weapons around for the bad guys to find and use, really deserve to be lauded as heros?

*Will Harry be leaving Horcruxes around for Tommy boy to save thereby causing him to have to use the veil in 7? Most assuredly yes. *eyeroll*

*Now, finally, Snape can get his would-be murderers. Lupin is having a hard time giving him the slippery slope arguments. No, those only work on overly rambunctious and trusting children Lupin.

*Snape ties Lupin up with snakes! *closes eyes and envisions that scene*

*Black, in the most level headed move he makes in the books, keeps his mouth shut in front of Snape. No protests from him. He knows that his schoolyard prank was no prank but a well-planned murder attempt.

*Oh Hermione, ever the brown noser, thinking she can sweet talk old Snapey-poo. No, little girl, all brown nosers know their own. And you best be careful or you will end up as a lap dog slave to two of the most underhanded wizards in all the WW.

*Snape gave the boot to Dumbledore in 6. I can't wait to see him give Tom cat the same treatment in 7. Oh it will be sweet. All while giving The Chosen One the finger and telling him that Lily was his woman. "Vengeance is sweet," Snape breathed...

*Black starts to blabber about Peter the rat. But Snape isn't hearing any of it. He is already fantasizing about the Dementor Frenchies. Come on, Snape you're slipping already in 3. After you saw the map, couldn't you have grabbed a Dementor on your way to the tree?

*Harry puts himself in front of Snape to protect two men he was ready to kill just a few moments before. Because Snape is always wrong in Harry world. He calls Snape a bitter old fool and Lupin could have killed him a hundred times but didn't.

*Uhm, Harry that was because Snape was giving Lupin some Anti-PMS potion.

*Snape isn't backing down, so what does Harry do? Why, show his ever bountiful capacity for love by knocking Snape senseless. Hey, at least Snape wasn't ripped open. But I can't say anymore, I will only embarrass myself and besides it is good Harry had something up his sleeve. Attacking a teacher was exactly the best thing to do!

*Even Sirius Black is a little taken aback by all that Harry love. You know something is wrong if Black is balking at physical force.

*Hermione, brown noser extraordinaire, is hyperventilating over the unconscious Snape. Or maybe she is disappointed she couldn't give Snape spots or have him get worked over by centaurs.

*Rather improbably, Black shows everyone newspaper proof of Scabbers treachery. Fudge gave him the paper. Which I'm suspicious about, was someone trying to get Sirius to step in the Poo?

*Ron denies it all. Black asks him why the Weaselys never thought it strange that Scabbers lived so long. Sirius, they were just happy that they could hand that rat down along with old dress robes to each son. There were no higher thought processes going on in Molly-wobbles brain other than that.

*Sirius complements PLOT POINT Crookshanks with uncovering the whole dastardly Peter plan. Too bad you weren't around for book 6 Crooky. Maybe you were given the wonder witch LP and were carrying on a torrid affair with Mrs. Norris.

*You know, it is a little sad when all your book characters depend on a feline to solve their mystery for them.

*I bet Crooky could have gotten into the ROR room in 6. But he wasn't required to be Wonder the mystery cat in that segment.

*Harry is getting dizzy from all that thinkin! Slow down Black, the Chosen one doesn't have his special thinking cap with him.

*Harry then gets a light bulb, remembers the Minerva gossip and realizes that Black is placing all the blame on Peter. Darn, he should have let Snape take old Black out after all.

*Love...Exciting and New...come aboard...its expecting you.

*Black tries to calm Harry down by telling him he was wrong to let James use Peter instead of himself as secret keeper. But he was too scared to take up that kind of responsibility.

*Lupin can't take the waiting anymore and moves menacingly towards Ron. Ron, being no fool, gives up Scabbers.

*Lupin and Black force Peter out of his hiding form and guess what?

*Peter is fat! He is fat, fat, fatty, fat with a balding head and really short too. I mean really, looking like that, how could anyone NOT know that he was ebil through and through.

*You know with all those fat people around him, I think Tom was trying to compensate for looking like Horcrux boy.

*Peter tries pinning it all on Sirius, but it isn't working. Come on guys, when you are short, bald, fatty what can you do but worship the most powerful Dark Lord ever? Besides, the Dark Lord probably had good health benefit plans that covered weight loss programs.

*Hermione plays with the big kids by suggesting that Peter never tried to harm Harry when he was being a rat.

*You know, Hermione playing Devil's Advocate here, keeping a cool head and milking the story out of everyone is really scary. Even Sirius is looking at her warily.

*Not only that she made Sirius reveal how he got out of Azkaban IN FRONT OF PETER! Way to go with giving the Dark Lord ideas! And heeeeeeeeere is Belletrix! She couldn't have done it without you 'mione.

*So Sirius was able to stroll right out of Azkaban as a dog. Great. Peter is now filing that info away under very important! In fact that is just the kind of useful info that can be used to get back into the good graces of a Dark Lord. Hermione you peach.

*Peter throws himself on Harry's tender mercies. Which to my amazement works! I guess Harry only has all encompassing love for real felons. He'll be trying to give Tom the love hug in 7.

*And of course, only Snape and Draco, deserve to be knocked senseless or eviscerated.

*So they all plan to leave the shrieking shack to hand Peter over to the Dementors. All after revealing that they can't see animagus animals. Gee, I'm sure Peter is shaking right now.

*Hermione reminds everyone of the lifeless Snape. She is probably worried about her potion grade right now.

*Snape and Lupin chain themselves to Peter, Ron gives Crookshanks a dirty look, and the "Sherlock" Crookshanks prevails once more.

*I bet Rowling's next series is Crookshanks, P.I.