[identity profile] jollityfarm.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] deathtocapslock
*Harry wonders about the headmaster over the coming weeks. Specifically, whether Dumbledore has forgotten all about him. Oh Harry, nobody could forget about you. Not with all those tantrums you keep having - "Best give Harry some time, we don't want another piss-fit like last year. Remember the allcaps tantrums?"

*In the meantime, Harry is gaining valuable insights from his beloved HBP and the wonderful scribbly textbook. He manages to perform several minor hexes, including one on Crabbe's toenails, whose result was described as "entertaining" (That must have really buggered up his feet, not to mention his socks) and one on Argus Filch's tongue "to general applause" (and not to, say, detention or a telling-off for the caster of said hex by a teacher). Then there is the Muffliato spell, effective at enabling Harry to chatter to Ron in class without being told off. Not that Harry is in any way neglectful of his studies (Hermione continues to refuse all part in this).

*"...the Prince had proved a much more effective teacher than Snape so far." Oh, shush.

*Harry levitates Ron, who decides by mid-morning of the next day that this was actually hillarious. I'm not sure if this is meant to be another Ron-so-pathetic moment, or to indicate Ron's strength of character in that he can laugh off any attempt at ABH, unlike the clearly weaker Severus Snape back in the summer of '76

*Hermione insists on spells being "Ministry of magic approved". Are we not supposed to be rageing against that particular machine? Is that not what Gryffindorish rebels do? The contradictions!

*Although I am quite pleased at Hermione for pointing out that dangling people upside-down was also something the Death Eaters have done. At least someone can part-way make the connection.

*Ron claims that his whole family are blood-traitors! Well, aside from the fact that they're all pure-bloods and they no longer talk to the only squib in the family. But they totally didn't kill any Muggles, which makes them dirty Muggle-lovers! Really!

*Anyway, Harry gets a letter from Ginny, but actually from Dumbledore. See, how could you think he'd forgotten you, Harry? Curiously, Ginny is not yet causing him any funny behaviour in his tummy. You'd think he'd have noticed she was the love of his life by now, and got all humourously awkward when he thought the letter was actually from Ginny for a few seconds.

*In Hogsmeade, they spot Professor Slughorn and his terribly stylish cossack get-up. He certainly likes his clothes. I won't mention the fact that he's in Honeydukes ("occupying at least a quarter of the shop") and omg HE EATS A LOT DID I MENTION THE FAT FAT FATTY FAT. Oh wait...

*We get another glimpse of Aberforth Dumbledore, standing about with Mundungus Fletcher. Clearly, theirluvissoshifty. Of course, Harry doesn't know that's Aberforth. But still - theirluv! Their badly dressed, weirdo LUV!

*Mundungus Fletcher has been looting from Sirius' house and about to sell off all his wossnames. Eagle-eyed readers will remember Dung contemplating this near the beginning of OotP, but the place has only been properly empty recently. Anyway, in a burst of stupid swoon-worthy machismo, Harry gives Dungus teh_throttle, but Dung gives him the slip. Which is to say, he Disapparates.

*Luckily, Tonks appears from Out Of Nowhere to remind us that she's still sad and woebegone. If this was my story, she would have been killed in OotP. Actually, let's assume she was, since she adds bugger-all to this entire book.

*Coming out of the Three Broomsticks, Harry et al witness a cursed necklace attack Katie Bell. It's such an odd scene that I had to read it more than once the first time around to make sure I knew what was going on. While all this drama is going on, Harry makes sure to mention Draco and his sure involvement with the scene. Hermione and Ron seem sceptical, a sure sign that Harry is Right. It's a bit like the X-Files, in a way.

*Indeed, upon suggesting this theory to Professor McGonnagal, similar scepticism results. When will teachers learn to listen to plucky kids? They're always in the right!
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