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deathtocapslockYes, Chapter 10. Not to worry, though, as I'll be catching up quickly enough.
*ahem* In Which Dumbledore Begins his Tale of Lord Voldemort's Secret Origin, Comic Book Style ("it may seem as though we're moving slowly, but it will look splendid once it's all on paperback format").
- After a week of using the Cheat Code, Slughorn praises Harry's skills as though he had managed to beat Super Metroid with less than 17% of the total items. Ron and Hermione aren't exactly thrilled by this, Ron because Harry won't write down the codes for him and Hermione because she doesn't thinkusing cheats makes you hardcore deviating from the official instructions is kosher.
- The fact that Harry can read the HBP's handwriting better than his 20/20 friend is because those glasses actually let him see things with better clarity than the human eye can (save for when he simply doesn't care much, like with Cho). Also, he won't write down the cheat codes for Ron because he's a teenager and thus entitled to be lazy; of course, were their positions reversed, Ron wouldn't do it simply because he's lazy, and by extension, So Pathetic.
- Hermione irritably says that the HBP could have been a girl, thus starting a subplot in which she tries to remain in The Right through Grrl Powah. That might have worked in the past 5 books, Hermione, but it won't get you anywhere here.
- "The Half-Blood Prince, he was called," Harry said. "How many girls have been Princes?"
1) That twinge you just felt was the Squeaky Hammer of Ironic Foreshadowing. Pay it no mind.
2) Why am I suddenly getting the mental image of an HP/Utena crossover?
- Is it a dream, or a vision? Trelawney makes a token appearance to foreshadow events from later in the book through cartomancy. Why no one took this scene to start calling Harry and/or Snape "knaves", I'll never know.
- "Good evening, Harry. I trust you've had an enjoyable first week back at school?"
"Yes, thanks, sir. I found a Cheat Code that is getting me through Potions, and I gave Snape a bit of cheek."
"Professor Snape, Harry."
"Sorry, sir."
"Speaking of whom, I spoke with Professor Snape and he has agreed to postpone until next Saturday your meeting with that flighty temptress, detention."
"Thank you, sir."
"I am also turning a blind eye to your flagrant foulplay, as I need you to remain in Professor Slughorn's good graces for an upcoming fetch quest."
"Did you say something, sir?"
"Not at all, Harry, just an old man babbling. Licorice wand?"
- Dumbledore makes a stunning display of alliteration ("firm foundation of fact", "murky marshes of memory" "Fearless Front-Facers") to keep Harry from realizing that he was lying out of his arse back when he had said he was going to tell him everything. He also neatly sidesteps over the fact that, as they'll be using theWayback Machine Pensieve, the memories to be analyzed are 100% objective.
- "...In fact, being - forgive me - rather cleverer than most men, my mistakes tend to be correspondingly huger."
1) Ego much, Albus?
2) Okay, so you're very clever by Wizarding standards, I'll give you that. But that's cancelled by your stubborness.
3) Like: (if Snape=TEH EBIL) trusting Snape? (else) forcing everyone to trust Snape on your word alone without explaining your reasoning at all?
- That sudden swish most of you just skillfully dodged? That was the Anvil of Ominous Foreshadowing. For those of you who couldn't dodge it, Dumbledore bites the big one on page 596 (Schol. edition), courtesy of Snape.
- Because it bears repeating: don't Wizards so much as look at Muggles? Honestly.
- While following Ogden on his path to the meat of this chapter (as it were), Harry spots a handsome manor house surrounded by a wide expanse of velvety green lawn. (HC=2)
- Meet the Gaunts: a bunch of inbred hicks (or the English equivalent, at least) descended from the great Salazar Beauregard Slytherin himself, yessireeobob. The patriach, Marvolo, takes pride in his ancestry, and will use it to shut up any uppity city slicker. The son, Morfin, speaks mostly in the local lingo, is hotheaded and not all that well in the head. The daughter, Merope, is treated like trash and stuck doing house chores because she got the unlucky genes (otherwise, she would have been a buxom vixen named Susie Mae). Together they engage in family-friendly, pureblooded shenanigans. YEEHA!!
- Tom Riddle, Sr. is described as a very handsome, dark-haired young man (HC=3). His lady friend is just pretty, but that doesn't stop them from giving a very country romance-esque vibe, what with the horses and everything. Harry now has new dream material fodder... for his dreams of Ginny. Really.
- Blah blah, recapping what happened later (HC=4), blah blah, love makes you do the wacky, yadda yadda Harry's gay. (What?)
- "No, sir, I'll make sure it's just Ron and Hermione; it's not like I was planning on telling anything to those losers who think they can be my friends just because they risked their life for me, anyway."
I wish I was being sarcastic, there.
- "Too late, Harry! You shall hear the story another time. Good night."
"Good night, sir.This had damn better read well on paperback."
"What was that, Harry?"
"I said, 'Tonight I'm riding on Malfoy's back'. Sir."
"Very well then, Harry. Have fun!"
Next up: that chapter with the suggestive title.
*ahem* In Which Dumbledore Begins his Tale of Lord Voldemort's Secret Origin, Comic Book Style ("it may seem as though we're moving slowly, but it will look splendid once it's all on paperback format").
- After a week of using the Cheat Code, Slughorn praises Harry's skills as though he had managed to beat Super Metroid with less than 17% of the total items. Ron and Hermione aren't exactly thrilled by this, Ron because Harry won't write down the codes for him and Hermione because she doesn't think
- The fact that Harry can read the HBP's handwriting better than his 20/20 friend is because those glasses actually let him see things with better clarity than the human eye can (save for when he simply doesn't care much, like with Cho). Also, he won't write down the cheat codes for Ron because he's a teenager and thus entitled to be lazy; of course, were their positions reversed, Ron wouldn't do it simply because he's lazy, and by extension, So Pathetic.
- Hermione irritably says that the HBP could have been a girl, thus starting a subplot in which she tries to remain in The Right through Grrl Powah. That might have worked in the past 5 books, Hermione, but it won't get you anywhere here.
- "The Half-Blood Prince, he was called," Harry said. "How many girls have been Princes?"
1) That twinge you just felt was the Squeaky Hammer of Ironic Foreshadowing. Pay it no mind.
2) Why am I suddenly getting the mental image of an HP/Utena crossover?
- Is it a dream, or a vision? Trelawney makes a token appearance to foreshadow events from later in the book through cartomancy. Why no one took this scene to start calling Harry and/or Snape "knaves", I'll never know.
- "Good evening, Harry. I trust you've had an enjoyable first week back at school?"
"Yes, thanks, sir. I found a Cheat Code that is getting me through Potions, and I gave Snape a bit of cheek."
"Professor Snape, Harry."
"Sorry, sir."
"Speaking of whom, I spoke with Professor Snape and he has agreed to postpone until next Saturday your meeting with that flighty temptress, detention."
"Thank you, sir."
"Did you say something, sir?"
"Not at all, Harry, just an old man babbling. Licorice wand?"
- Dumbledore makes a stunning display of alliteration ("firm foundation of fact", "murky marshes of memory" "Fearless Front-Facers") to keep Harry from realizing that he was lying out of his arse back when he had said he was going to tell him everything. He also neatly sidesteps over the fact that, as they'll be using the
- "...In fact, being - forgive me - rather cleverer than most men, my mistakes tend to be correspondingly huger."
1) Ego much, Albus?
2) Okay, so you're very clever by Wizarding standards, I'll give you that. But that's cancelled by your stubborness.
3) Like: (if Snape=TEH EBIL) trusting Snape? (else) forcing everyone to trust Snape on your word alone without explaining your reasoning at all?
- That sudden swish most of you just skillfully dodged? That was the Anvil of Ominous Foreshadowing. For those of you who couldn't dodge it, Dumbledore bites the big one on page 596 (Schol. edition), courtesy of Snape.
- Because it bears repeating: don't Wizards so much as look at Muggles? Honestly.
- While following Ogden on his path to the meat of this chapter (as it were), Harry spots a handsome manor house surrounded by a wide expanse of velvety green lawn. (HC=2)
- Meet the Gaunts: a bunch of inbred hicks (or the English equivalent, at least) descended from the great Salazar Beauregard Slytherin himself, yessireeobob. The patriach, Marvolo, takes pride in his ancestry, and will use it to shut up any uppity city slicker. The son, Morfin, speaks mostly in the local lingo, is hotheaded and not all that well in the head. The daughter, Merope, is treated like trash and stuck doing house chores because she got the unlucky genes (otherwise, she would have been a buxom vixen named Susie Mae). Together they engage in family-friendly, pureblooded shenanigans. YEEHA!!
- Tom Riddle, Sr. is described as a very handsome, dark-haired young man (HC=3). His lady friend is just pretty, but that doesn't stop them from giving a very country romance-esque vibe, what with the horses and everything. Harry now has new dream material fodder... for his dreams of Ginny. Really.
- Blah blah, recapping what happened later (HC=4), blah blah, love makes you do the wacky, yadda yadda Harry's gay. (What?)
- "No, sir, I'll make sure it's just Ron and Hermione; it's not like I was planning on telling anything to those losers who think they can be my friends just because they risked their life for me, anyway."
I wish I was being sarcastic, there.
- "Too late, Harry! You shall hear the story another time. Good night."
"Good night, sir.
"What was that, Harry?"
"I said, 'Tonight I'm riding on Malfoy's back'. Sir."
"Very well then, Harry. Have fun!"
Next up: that chapter with the suggestive title.
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