HBP Chapter Eight

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

*It says a lot about how crap Snape’s life is that the chapter where he’s "victorious" refers to the one where we learn he’s going to be at the same job, teaching the same kids, but in a different classroom.

*ETA: It says even more when you realize that this really is it. This is the high point of Snape's entire adult life. Hey, it beats being eaten by a snake.

*Harry has never hated Malfoy more than he hated him as he lay there like a turtle. Harry Potter: Sith Lord in Training.

*ETA: Cheer up, Harry. Draco will pay for that moment of confidence.

*Though I do love that he hates Malfoy the most now because he knows he (Harry) did something a stupid, and that Malfoy is probably telling everyone in Slytherin, to great laughter. Unfortunately the only other person in the school who would understand exactly how Harry’s feeling right now is, well, Malfoy.

*Harry remembers some wizards can perform spells without speaking—thus the first mention of wordless magic. (Which Harry seems to think is a super special skill only some wizards as great as Dumbledore have.) The book starts with Harry seeing exactly how important this skill can be, but as soon as Snape starts teaching it he’ll have good reason to not want to study it.

*ETA: Luckily learning this skill isn't a pre-requisite for being an Auror prodigy.

*Not that Harry really needs anyone to teach it, since he’s instinctually doing just what Snape says to do right here anyway. How else would you think you'd do wordless magic, after all?

*Hee! No panicked voices asking where Harry Potter has gone! Malfoy would be wetting himself with joy if he knew what Harry was thinking.

*Harry’s broken nose has no affect on his ability to speak. Unlike Neville Longbottom, who broke his nose and talked like a cartoon character for the rest of the chapter. Just another way we know who the Chosen One is.

*This is also scene two of Tonks, the mousy-haired Red Herring. You know, I’m not bothered by this storyline in terms of what it says about Tonks. She’s a Black; they’re very overdramatic. But that is what she’s being. It’s a straightforward mystery and the solution is Remus Lupin. She’s actually not also suffering from chronic depression, survivor’s guilt, PTSD and whatever other trauma warnings one might see in fanfics.

*ETA: Seriously, Tonks is a nut. Her behavior in the three books she appears in just really adds up to a weirdo in the end. Not an anti-feminist weirdo or anything like that, just a woman who would seem normal when you met her, but quickly drive you off with something being off about her. At least that's how she seems to me.

*Tonks sends her Patronus, also without speaking. Harry fails to note that this seems to be an ordinary ability of adult wizards.

*ETA: LOL! I wonder how Tonks' wolf delivered the message. It would have to be as emo as she is.

*I’m not even going to try to figure out just how this is supposed to be better than e-mail or cell phones.

*ETA: Nope, still not better than e-mail or cell phones, particularly.

*Remember how Harry wished people would worry and ask where Harry Potter was? They did. Phew! Also, he really should have been Prefect.

*Harry reminds us of Tonks’ former personality so that we get she’s acting differently. Was she particularly inquisitive before? I remember the annoying part, but for me it was more about the awkward demonstrations of personality quirks rather than inquisitiveness.

*ETA: And the inquisitiveness won't return with her pink hair either. Like a few other female characters, once she gets her man she's got no reason to continue to display personality beyond that.

*Perhaps Tonks is no longer inquisitive because Ginny kept hexing her for asking too many questions.

*ETA: Re: the note above this one: You're next, Ginny.

*Harry doesn’t blame Tonks for Sirius’ death. It wasn’t her fault any more than anyone else’s, and far less than his. At least for the next few minutes. And then…

*Enter Severus Snape: Blame Magnet!

*ETA: As he lived and died. Harry forgave him for everything when he found out he had the good sense to be obsessed with his mother, but forgiving Snape does not require reconsidering any past accusations.

*Harry can’t open the gates because Dumbledore’s bewitched them himself. Am I sensing a “Dumbledore is so marvelous he’s head and shoulders above all over wizards” theme in this book to lead up to the end? Like even gates won’t lock without his personal supervision?

*ETA: Or maybe it's just laying the groundwork for Dumbledore being a dangerously controlling narcissist. It would be totally IC for him to spell the gates so that nobody else could open them and then die leaving everybody locked out.

*Snape’s “Potter is quite – ah – safe in my hands” is a nice echo of PS/SS. He hates you, but he never wanted you dead.

*Tonks meant Hagrid to get the message. Best. Form of communication. Ever. What spy wouldn’t want to send messages via a big glowing animal easily recognizable as belonging to him or her that random people can see and intercept?

*Snape criticizes Tonks’ Patronus. Snape can be a real bitch.:-)

*Not that Snape’s lying. If there’s one person who knows exactly how Lupin can be weak, it’s Snape.

*ETA: Oh, Snape. If you only knew.

*ETA: Though to be honest, the whole "Lupin's just weak" sometimes gets to me since some of his concerns are perfectly reasonable. And besides, Tonks is weird.

*What a surprise. Harry has decided Snape’s snide remarks about Sirius not leaving the house were a powerful factor in his leaving the house. Fred Weasleys’ remarks on the same subject rolled right off his back, though, I’m sure.

*Kinda says a lot about Harry and Sirius’ relationship, though, that Harry’s got no trouble taking that sort of attitude about Sirius. You know Sirius doesn’t think and has an adolescent need to do risky things, Severus! What were you thinking?

*ETA: Of course, in Harry's mind that translates into "Admirably Heroic In the Way Every Real Man Should Be."

*Snape mentions a house has never had negative points this early in the term. Personally, I’m more impressed with the way Harry can always manage to have developed a raging hate for one or more people before he even gets to school each year. Are we sure this isn’t the Power the Dark Lord Knows Not? ETA: No, that's the power of Author Intervention because it sure ain't love!

*It makes me giggle when Snape says pudding.

*The hatred, which Harry first thought was generating off him in waves, now goes blazing hot. From his pov. To an outsider Harry probably just looks like a regular teenager scowling very fiercely.

*Again—Harry’s great power? He’s got this great capacity for love. Being a seething cauldron of hate is just a side effect.

*ETA: The love never does make its long-awaited appearance. Harry's willingness to die is supposed to represent love, but it's more Harry willing to get the job done and fulfill his destiny as a hero.

*Yes, Snape has come to get Harry just because he can’t stand to miss a few minutes of needling and tormenting. You know Snape, when Draco Malfoy starts to look cool by comparison you really might want to consider therapy.

*Hermione says they’ve been terrified by Harry’s disappearance. Not “leave the table and do something” terrified, more like “whisper worriedly over your pudding” terrified.

*Hee hee. Snape said pudding.

*Harry knows Draco’s habit of spreading gossip, but knows this might still mean Gryffindors wouldn’t hear it. It’s like Gryffindor and Slytherin each live in their own separate bubbles, sometimes including Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff when they want to spread their own info, but not receiving stuff from the enemy house through them. BTW, the hat’s still on about uniting all four…

ETA: The Hat's obviously been reading too much fanfiction.

*Harry says Hagrid’s never managed to comport himself with the dignity of Professor McGonagall, which is Harry’s nice way of reminding us Hagrid’s never managed to comport himself with dignity, period.

*Poor Trelawney’s at the feast this year obviously desperately insecure about her place at the school.

ETA: And yet even the DEs don't sack her.

ETA: Nor do they get her to tell them the prophecy she made because prophecies are so fifth book.

*What Harry would not give to fight Malfoy one on one. Wait, he just did that. What he wouldn’t give to fight him in a proper one-on-one with his friends outnumbering the Slytherins.

*Oh alright, I get it. It’s foreshadowing for their later duel where Harry uses Sectumsempra and gets exactly what he wished for out of it.

*Dumbledore stands and everyone shuts up. He opens his arms as if to embrace the whole room, which is I’m sure what he was hoping to convey when he practiced the gesture in front of the mirror in his room. I’ll bet the Slytherins all feel like they just got a great big hug!

*ETA: Of course we all know he's really just trying to embrace Harry from across the room. But not in a gay way.

*Hermione notices Dumbledore’s hand, something Harry never mentioned in the weeks they’ve been hanging out together. Well come on, why would he mention a beloved friend appears to be losing a limb? Harry figured it’d be cured by now or something. Jeez, who’s the Chosen One here? Harry’s got hands too, you know!

*ETA: If only Harry could figure out some way that Dumbledore's withered hand indicated Dumbledore didn't love Harry he could have spent the whole book idly wondering about it!

*Harry’s all upset about Snape teaching DADA—how could he be given it after all this time? I think the real question is: what is that your business?

*How much do I love Snape’s lazy hand wave and the Slytherin clapping. The two faces of Snape.

*ETA: Two faces indeed, Snape.

*Hermione is one of the craziest studies in human nature in fiction. She’s all “shocked and reproachful” when Harry says the DADA position is jinxed and everyone leaves after a year, and he’s hoping for another death. Meanwhile she’s like a prodigy of ruthless efficiency when it comes to judging and punishing the masses. I believe this psychological principle at work here is called “doubling,” the division of the self into two functioning wholes, so that a part-self acts as an entire self.”

*DD starts talking about Voldemort. Harry looks over to see Malfoy staring at a spoon he’s got hovering in the air. Many readers longingly wonder what it would be like to be in Malfoy’s head during this book.

*Still, it looks like Draco’s improved on those levitation charms. He’s not going to drop any wine glasses this year, dammit!

*Dumbledore announces how dangerous everything is, advises everyone to report any unattended luggage (if you see something, say something!) etc., and says they have to guard against carelessness of any student or staff member. McGonagall is no doubt mouthing THAT MEANS YOU, LONGBOTTOM to Neville from her seat.

*Dumbledore then says their beds await and pip pip. How will we ever go on without this guy?

*Hermione darts ahead to fulfill her duty as shepherd of first years. Why do I picture Hermione nagging and generally making the first year trip to the tower more complicated instead of less?

*It was a mark of the strength of Ron’s friendship that he does not laugh to hear Harry had his nose stepped on and broken. So he doesn't think Malfoy’s train stomp was a mark of great evil that might have killed Harry? Nah. Ron’s a future wife abuser, innit? (I have no idea if I’m using that last word correctly, but it seemed to fit.)

*Harry thinks it must be pure pigheadedness that Ron doesn’t react to the stuff Harry overheard Malfoy say on the train. You know, finding out that his friends are all subject to the whims of a plot would probably be a great relief to Harry at this point because otherwise it kind of does seem like pure pigheadedness. And it's catching.

*Ron also says Draco was just showing off for Parkinson, which seems to suggest that Ron, unlike Harry, pays attention to the interactions of other students.

*Harry says Voldemort’s name, and when Hagrid rebukes him he says Dumbledore says it too. “Well, that’s Dumbledore, innit?” says Hagrid. Yup, there goes another anvil of how Superior and Necessary Dumbledore Is To Us In These Dark Times, and How We Must Never Try To Reach His Level.

*ETA: At least now we know the reason for this seemingly random idea of not saying his name despite there being no bad effects from it. It's to lead up to the jinx that's going to be put on the book next year.

*Hagrid’s record as second string Harry Security goes unbroken. Tonks is sending messages to him to come open the gate, but he’s off with his retarded subplot of a brother.

*Hagrid says he was late because he and his brother were having a nice chat. Which probably meant that Hagrid rambled on while Grawp nodded and privately wished he’d get the hell out of his cave so he could get back to work on his Anthropological study, written entirely in Giantish: In The Shadow Of Giants by Dr. Grawp Gungabimu, Ph.D. Chapter One: When I allowed myself to be taken by my half-wizard brother in the interest of science, I had no idea how primitive the smaller primate brain would reveal itself to be. That he has been given a position as teacher to children further illustrates the inability of the smaller brain to make proper survival choices….

*None of the Trio is taking CoMC. They can’t imagine what Hagrid will say when he finds out his three favorite students aren’t taking his class. They can, at least, imagine what he won’t say, which is anything indicating skill as a teacher.

*Ironically Grawp is a tenured and highly-respected Professor at Giantbridge U. and the author of the pamphlet: “How To Teach a Fun and Interesting Care of Magical Creatures Class Without Endangering Minors.” Dumbledore greatly exaggerated his fluency in Giantish.

*ETA: Btw, Snape's being DADA teacher pretty much goes nowhere.



Foley Work
Poor Harry lying on the floor listening to the exaggerated Foley footsteps on the train.

Informed Attributes
Harry must save the Wizarding World with his Super Loving Nature! Which he’ll do as soon as he can leave this gloomy Tonks chick behind. Jeez, if you’re not going to entertain me would you shove off, please?

"Watermelon, watermelon, cantaloupe, cantaloupe"
Watermelon watermelon. Snape’s the new DADA teacher? Cantaloupe cantaloupe. Snape’s the new DADA teacher!

Final score: 3

H/D cliche count:
The one where Harry and Malfoy secretly fight on the train before they get to school and Harry obsesses about it during the Feast.
The one where Harry dreams about fighting Malfoy one-on-one alone.
The one where Ron can't share Harry's interest in Malfoy.
The one where Malfoy's having Curious Reactions to things in public that only Harry notices.