HBP Chapter Twenty-One

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

*Harry has been racking his brain with no results. *pets Harry’s poor brain* That's not new.

*So instead he’s just looking at his Potions book. Great little comment on how Harry usually works—usually he’d have Hermione on this. Thinking brain dog. I love that.

*Harry’s already itching to try out this Sectumsempra thingie because of the intriguing words "For Enemies." Because that’s not a sinister description at all. Harry obviously thought he was just going to turn Draco’s hair green with that spell, thus distracting him from the Crucio he was about to throw.

*ETA: This makes me think on what I would think a good "for enemies" spell would be. Probably something they wouldn't notice at all but would silently make them miserable forever.

*Btw, props to Harry for, after 6 years, not having gained any grasp of Latin whatsoever. He still looks at every spell as if the only way to get a clue to what it does is to cast it at an irritating person and see what happens.

*It’s too bad he doesn’t just try it out on Hermione here since fandom might implode trying to decide on an official interpretation: is it bad because Hermione got hurt? Good because she deserved it for disagreeing with Harry and anyway he had no way of knowing a spell for enemies could be aggressive? Or is it just supposed to be funny because Wizarding World injuries are different and it’s no big deal?

*Apparition tests are coming up, and Ron’s the most proficient at Apparition so far. Ha ha ha! Just kidding. When it comes to the Wizard equivalent of driving of course Hermione has succeeded twice and will be a careful driver who observes the rules of the road (hands on ten and two o'clock), Ron is a complete failure and Harry’s already got his elbow propped up on the window.

*ETA: How interesting I used the driving test analogy given that Ron's last act in canon is to confirm that no, he can't pass a driving test. Oh, that Ron!

*ETA: Also when I first read that comment again about Ron being most proficient I didn't immediately know I was being sarcastic and was honestly shocked that Ron could be the one good at anything. Even something as seemingly unrelated to general worth as the ability to teleport.

*Fandom puts a lot of importance in Harry’s having disagreed with Snape on the best way to handle Dementors, but I can’t help but wonder if Rowling just picked that line as a throwaway because it was vaguely Dark-Arts-ish. I could be wrong since she might have chosen a more fantastic creature for that. I just don’t see anything particularly interesting about alternate Dementor stuff.

*ETA: Yup, I think I was right there. I doubt JKR was really thinking about anything in that disagreement besides that Dementors were Dark Arts related. The question probably had nothing to do with whether or not to use Patronus and was more about how to handle a bunch of them coming at you at once or something.

*ETA: Though to be fair, that doesn't really make sense since although it seems like Patronus is the standard coming-of-age spell, it's a spell totally witheld from everyone but Dumbledore and Harry's crew. Too advanced, you know.

*Hermione tells Harry the Prince can’t help him with Slughorn, that the only way to force someone to do what you want is to Imperio them. Gee, Hermione’s gotten a bit unsophisticated in her old age. Didn’t she blackmail somebody into doing her bidding last year? And I believe manipulate Hagrid through flattery before that? I'm sure there's plenty of Potions that could help too.

*On the other hand, somebody had to mention Imperius if it’s going to come up at the end of the book, so maybe Hermione was just trying to be the one to do that.

*Dumbledore says Veritaseum won’t help. Damn, how inconvenient! Veritaseum always helps!

*ETA: Do we ever see anybody use Veritaseum at a time where it seems like it's obvious? I think Barty Jr. is the only person who gets it given to him and responds by telling the truth. Not that this doesn't make sense--Wizards rarely choose the most efficient way of dealing with things. Sure if I were Bellatrix LeStrange, for instance, I would have given Hermione, who has no practice fighting off the stuff, Veritaseum in DH. Or I might have Imperiused her to tell me the truth. But it's certainly in character for the real Bellatrix to prefer to inefficiently torture her and not double-check her answers.

*Frankly, from what we’ve seen of Slughorn it seems like a threat to withhold brunch would get him to sing.

*In fact, why not just say to the guy “Look, Fatty McBoylove, some of us are actually trying to do something about the evil wizard who wants to kill us all and if he already knows this memory exists you’re in no more danger telling us than not telling us so hack it up.” Oh right, because this week we’re learning about cunning.

*ETA: Err...not that it takes cunning to swallow a love potion. But remember we're also trying to drag this out until June.

*The kids now have to waste time not only discussing how to get a memory out of the big guy, but figuring out what Dumbledore is trying to get Harry to do by asking him to do it. Sometimes having a Wise Old Wizard Leader is a real pain.

*ETA: Especially when Dumbledore pretty much never has an objectively good reason for getting people to do things beyond liking to make people do things.

*Roonil Wazlib! That’s HILARIOUS! Hold on while I put it in an icon. Or 58.

*Hermione goes all pink when Ron says he loves her. Though I'd almost think that if he truly had a crush on her he wouldn't say it casually.

*Anyway, it bodes well for the relationship that Ron’s words are in response to Hermione doing his homework for him.

*Harry asks why Ron doesn’t just break up with Lavender. Ron points out Harry’s never chucked anyone. “You and Cho just…” “Agreed that she had betrayed me and wasn’t on the moral level of the Chosen One, yeah.”

*ETA: Anyway geez, Harry, Ron's just trying to help you out here. If he wasn't with Lavender that's one less ongoing storyline for you to think about when you can't do anything else.

*OldSchool!Kreacher’s here—yay! And Dobby. Well, can’t have everything.

*ETA: Sadly, as pleasant as Dobby's impending death is it doesn't completely remove the sting of Stepford!Kreacher.

*Harry hasn’t told Hermione about the Elf Tails because house-elves are always such a touchy subject with her. Err…not that she has once commented on Harry actually owning one. And not that she’s actually going to show much interest in the subject whatsoever in this scene. Yeah, House-Elves are a touchy subject with her. Touchy and inconsistent. [Tried to give Kreacher a slave line here but offended myself doing it!]

*Kreacher compliments Malfoy’s fine bone structure and noble movement. I forgot about the noble movement. I think we all know dances occasionally when he’s alone.

*Dobby still finds it difficult to speak ill about his old masters. Not sure why, as Kreacher has no trouble speaking ill of his current master. ETA: Luckily Kreacher will soon enough become just as good a slave as Dobby. That's how we can tell he's happy.

*Dobby tells Kreacher Malfoy is not a good master to a house-elf. Um, actually I think from what we’ve seen of Kreacher he might be quite happy with Draco as a Master.

*ETA: I was wrong, of course. No House-Elf is happy belonging to an unworthy Wizard. All is right with the world when House-Elves are owned by the good Wizards.

*Harry is annoyed at Kreacher’s reports of Malfoy and turns to Dobby instead. Which of course makes one ask again why Harry didn’t just ask Dobby to begin with, given he’s the one falling all over himself to do it right, even staying up all night.

*Not that I’m complaining—this scene would not be entertaining at all without Kreacher.

*Dobby reports that Draco has been breaking no rules that he can discover. Which must be killing the little snitch.

*Hermione reminds us Malfoy knew how to get into the RoR because that stupid Marietta had blabbed. You know what someone should do? Write STUPID across her face in oozing pustules.

*ETA: I get the feeling everyone who finds the room assumes they are the only person at the school to know about it.

*Harry thinks they’ll be a way around not knowing what Malfoy’s using the room for. And there probably would be, to a character with skill or practice in creative problem-solving. So not Harry.

*Kreacher’s done well too, Hermione says kindly, showing that while she might have lost interest in house-elves she hasn’t lost her knack for always saying the thing guaranteed to make them more angry and miserable.

*ETA: Until the next book when we learn that rubbing it in at times like this shows Hermione's a natural House-Elf master. I hope she owns a lot of them as an adult. (Who answer only to her and not her husband.)

*Harry crows about his new Malfoy information while Hermione mops up Ron’s stains. Has she cut Ron’s meat for him in this book yet? I can’t remember…

*ETA: The underwear packing. It is coming.

*Hermione’s surprised Malfoy’s got a lot of students helping him. You’d think he wouldn’t want a lot of people to know what he’s doing. Gee, that sounds like he’s actually doing something worth thinking about, doesn’t it? Funny that she’s been dismissing it all year.

*God, I’ve been so stupid, says Harry—naturally regarding one of those rare moments where he really hasn’t been that stupid.

*Harry reminds us Crabbe and Goyle are stupid enough to do what they’re told even if Malfoy doesn’t tell them what he’s up to. Which makes them not quite as stupid as Harry’s friends, who will do what they’re told even if Harry does tell them what he’s up to and it’s totally misguided.

*Speaking of stupid, the Trio continues to wonder why Crabbe and Goyle would actually continue to help Malfoy without ever considering that friends sometimes step up when another friend really needs help.

*ETA: Yeah, I know that Crabbe is just biding his time to reveal his evil-ness, but it's still the logical assumption to make here. Why does Draco not leave unconscious Goyle in a burning room?

*Harry claims Malfoy’s just showed them his Dark Mark, which Hermione is skeptical about. I still honestly don’t know if Harry is supposed to be right about the Dark Mark and Hermione naïve, or if Hermione’s introducing the idea that Draco’s more in an in-between state.

*ETA: So I guess Harry is supposed to be right about this? Because we're just never given a better answer even though we never see it?

*Hermione reminds Harry that as interesting a plot as the Malfoy story is, he’s got to stay in the Gryffindor plot and faff about with Slughorn. Harry looks disgruntled and I don’t blame him.

*And we end a scene with a classic “Loser!Ron” moment as he wishes he could Disapparate and so not fail his test miserably. Ron should be accompanied here by that trumpet noise they play when things go wrong for people in wacky comedies. Oh, that Ron!

*Harry does not sleep well that night. He just lays awake wondering what Malfoy is doing in the RoR and what he will see when he walks in there the next day. Then he makes things worse by going on line and googling “’Malfoy’ ‘Room of Requirement’ ‘Harry’ ‘inside.’”

*Link one: “Harry blinked, stepping inside the Room of Requirement for the first time in a year. Gone were the shelves of Defense books and the DA list on the wall. The walls were draped in green velvet and in the center sat an enormous bed. Malfoy lay upon it, his pale skin glowing in the candlelight. Harry stepped forward, his mouth going dry as he realized Malfoy was not wearing any clothes. “Go!” Harry’s mind screamed at him. But Harry stayed rooted to the spot…”

*Harry dreams about Malfoy yet again and I’m going to go all symbolically Meta on it. Okay, in the first book, didn’t Malfoy turn into Snape and then Voldemort was sort of there? Now he’s turning into Slughorn (not on Voldemort’s side) and then Snape. Okay, presumably Slughorn is there because Harry’s remembering he’s supposed to be getting the memory, but Malfoy still turns into Snape a lot.

*ETA: Symbolizing their not being that connected at all. Malfoy's just a poor substitute until Snape's true student champion Harry arrives on the scene to name his son after the guy.

*Or else Harry’s having a nightmare that Draco gets fat!

*Harry’s all a-quiver during breakfast. ‘Nuff said.

*Hermione ostentatiously shows Harry that she’s not allowed to help him in this book.

*ETA: Don't worry, she'll make up for it in the next book where she might as well be carrying him around in a papoose for 800 pages.

*Hmmm…a second mention of Imperius, this time regarding a little boy who tried to kill his grandparents. Funny this goes along with Harry’s problems with Slughorn—he thinks he’s got to force him to give up the memory; Hermione says he’s got to persuade him. The little boy is forced through Imperio, Malfoy’s persuaded to try to kill somebody through various means. No clue if that’s significant. ETA: Well, the Wizarding World is pretty persuadable.

*ETA: ::sigh:: I'll bet that story about the little boy killing his grandparents would have been interesting.

*Also Mundungus has been arrested, which is okay now that Harry’s no longer pleased with him. I guess that means Arthur won’t be getting him off, then? Harry might need to go to Azkaban to ask him about the locket now, I guess. We might actually get to see Azkaban. (And Lucius there?)

*ETA: Or they'll all just be released in DH.

*Harry stares at the wall for a while—you know, earlier he had more of the right idea when he asked whether the room was a workroom or a hideout. After a night fantasizing about what he might see when he went inside all he can think of is Draco, Draco, Draco.

*Harry tried every variation of “I need to see what Draco Malfoy is doing inside you” and was quite distracted and flushed when he was finished.

*Hmmm…looks like Snape’s hitting all of Harry’s greatest hits this year. The Dementor essay was preceded by one on resisting the Imperius curse. That’s Imperius curse. The one that’s going to come up later as part of the plot. The one Harry's awesome at resisting, btw.

*Snape describes Mundungus as a smelly sneak-thief, and Harry indignantly mutters that Snape and Mundungus are supposed to be on the same side. Like how Harry and Snape are on the same side and admire each other so much. And Harry hates Mundungus until Snape does, then he’s great. Go Harry!

*Btw, Snape—smelly? Is it fun being 8 years old?

*Okay, Snape insults Harry here, and we hear Pansy giggles and others smirk…but not Malfoy. Poor Snape must be crushed. ETA: If he hadn't already replaced the tiny part of his mind that cared about Draco with MORE LILY PLEASE!

*Actually, it’s a bit odd Harry doesn’t make any mention of Malfoy at all, even to tell us he’s absent if he is. He’s been thinking about him non-stop all chapter—guess this is a foreshadowing of his refusing to look at the actual boy after Sectumsempra. Harry’s just shy.

*Ron’s defense of Harry’s pretty excellent. Ten DTCL points to Gryffindor for Ron’s snarky logic.

*Snape’s all pleased with his comeback to Ron about being so solid he can’t Apparate. Sorry Severus, Ron won that one.

*Oh wait, Snape’s probably smirking because they’re going to read about the Cruciatus Curse and he’s imagining doing it to Harry or something.

*ETA: Or maybe just smiling because Cruciatas is so gallant.

*The narrator announces Ron was very subdued throughout the class, though he was quite jaunty in the bit we saw. Is he that effected by Snape’s Apparition joke? Btw, how does Snape even know how Ron’s doing at that? I get the feeling Draco’s not doing impressions for him this year.:(

*Ron’s irritated by Lavender’s abuse of Snape, because everything Lavender does now is annoying and besides he now knows he’s really turned on by Hermione’s brutal honestly about his shortcomings.

*Ron just can’t seem to get the hang of Apparition. Or girls. Or throwing off Imperio or Quidditch. Or spelling. Or Potions. Or driving. Or anything worth mentioning.

*For the second time in one chapter, Harry is confronted with someone describing Malfoy in aggressively flattering and affectionate terms. Two people “in love with” Malfoy in one chapter—I’m surprised Harry hasn’t caved in and started lecturing people about bad boy syndrome.

*Myrtle sadly says she thought Malfoy liked her—I’m not sure if we’re supposed to assume a true connection on Malfoy’s part or if she related to him like she did to Harry. At the very least Malfoy promised to come back and see her again.

*We had lots in common, Myrtle says. I wonder if JKR is slipping in a truth there we should think about or if it’s just Myrtle being a silly Draco fangirl. Probably the latter.

*He’s sensitive and bullied and feels lonely and can’t talk to anyone. Cheer up, Emo kids indeed!

*I know I’ve asked this before but WHY IS THERE NO DRACO/MYRTLE FIC?

*Ron cuts the scene short, unfortunately, but it makes him feel better to tease Myrtle. Um, yay?

*Harry feels rather jealous watching Ron and Hermione go into Hogsmeade. Harry jealous. Imagine that. Is it not enough he must carry the heavy mantle of the Chosen One? Must he also suffer the humiliation and stress of being born in July?

*Hermione impatiently scolds Harry to just keep at Slughorn. You know, clearly this isn’t that important or Dumbledore would just do it himself. What if Harry never figured it out? Would Voldemort just have to live forever because Harry didn’t love Twinkledor enough to concentrate on that memory?

*ETA: No, what would have happened is some deux ex machina in the form of magic or some other character would drop out of the sky and get it for him.

*Goyle’s alone outside the RoR. Does this mean he’s not a left-back larger student but in fact one of the younger kids in the class? Or did he give up a chance to practice Apparition to help out?

*ETA: Goyle's the one outside the RoR. Yes, there is a lead-up going onn with Crabbe here. Not quite enough to call it an arc we can follow, but a lead-up.

*The narrator reminds us how kindly Hermione had helped Girl!Goyle before when he dropped his scales. You know, I really don’t think Hermione’s constant need to take care of everything has so much to do with kindness. If she wants to kindly fix something she can start with Marietta’s face.

*"Hello…You’re very pretty, aren’t you?" Hee! Still funny!

*Harry gets the most agreeable feeling of power from knowing that Malfoy’s frozen behind the door unable to come outside, while Harry tries to force his way in. An agreeable heavy tingling of power that centers in the groin area.

*Suddenly I’m picturing Harry and Malfoy as the inspector and the innkeeper’s daughter on either side of the wall in "The Wicker Man."

*Unfortunately, Harry's nice tingly power feeling is permanently doused when Tonks the girl comes drifting down the corridor.

*New Tonks theory: Instead of her having lost weight and having mousy hair because she really can’t handle the stress of having a boyfriend with a dangerous job, she’s simply transformed herself to look like what she imagines people dying of love should look like. It’s a fashion statement.

*ETA: Don't worry, next book she gets to be useful. She has a baby and dies.

*Dumbledore wasn’t in his office so Tonks I guess just decided to wander the halls singing "On My Own" in a cap and trenchcoat.

*Tonks picks at the sleeve of her robe. Little does she know this simple nervous gesture will spawn a thousand Polyjuice and werewolf plots.

*Tonks’ eyes fill with tears at the mention of Sirius. Or so Harry thinks. Really she just wasn’t listening to him. Err…great, Tonks.

*Harry leaves the hallway pathetically hoping that Malfoy will be trapped in there for hours. Because then he’ll be the one who looks stupid. Not Harry, who’s been standing outside pacing and breaking his toes for hours, swearing at a brick wall.

*Hermione ignores Ron’s reports of how great the Apparition teacher thought she was. Which is to say she silently stores the scene up in her mind to go over as she goes to sleep that night.

*Harry suggests Tonks was in love with Sirius. It’s kind of sad that he’s basically put on the wrong track because he actually thought Tonks might pay attention to what he said when she asked him a question.

*Hermione reports that Rosemerta didn’t laugh at a stupid joke of Ron’s, and I wonder in passing if she didn’t laugh because of the Imperius. It’s not really a theory, since I’ve no idea how consistently she’s under it and I know she’s just getting him back for his comment about women, but I thought about it so I stuck it in.





Exploitation Filmmakers’ Credo
Oh Harry. It really is like banging your head against a brick wall.

Foley Work
Those brass scale sounds are impressive!

IITS
Dear Diary: Today Harry made a small breakthrough in figuring out what horrible task Draco Malfoy is trying to accomplish. Perhaps it has something to do with the two near-murders, one of which almost killed HIM. He asked me to help and I said no, because IITS. I am totally the best fictional character in this series. Gotta go, Ron’s nose is about to run. Love, Hermione.

Informed Attributes
Phew! Harry is right; Hermione DOES have a lot to say on the house-elf issue! Very touchy! I thought she’d never shut up!

Light Bulb Moment
How could I have been so stupid? He’s using Polyjuice!

McGuffin
You just leave that Malfoy plot alone, Harry, and come do something about this Slughorn story. It’s not going to drag itself out!

Nut o’ Fun
So…what did Harry imagine finding Malfoy in the RoR would be like?

Final score: 7

Slytherin Liquid Count: Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom, water sloshing in the toilet, the crying boy, Tonks’ tears, Polyjuice, quick drinks in Hogsmeade.

H/D clichés: Harry falls asleep thinking of Malfoy, Harry and Malfoy in the RoR, Harry dreams of Malfoy, Malfoy cries in the bathroom, Fine bone structure!Malfoy, Noble Movement!Malfoy and of course, So Very Emo!Malfoy.