deathtocapslock | Deathly Hallows Chapter 28 (Reply)

The Missing Mirror

The Trio lands in Hogsmeade, after Harry decided, at the end of the last chapter, to forgo planning. I think this was a good move by Harry. Planning was obviously what they’ve been doing wrong all year. If not wrong, then unnecessarily, since the moment they hit a wrinkle, everything falls apart.

Harry barely has time to do a brief recap of the last chapters of HBP before a loud scream rends the air. This is an alarm system that the Death Eaters have set up in order to catch any movement in outdoors in Hogsmeade after curfew. I wonder if there were other ring tones they could have used, rather than the piercing scream. Maybe they could have had it sing “I’m just wild about Harry!” instead.

At the alarm, a dozen “cloaked and hooded Death Eaters” run out of the Three Broomsticks, wands drawn. Apparently, they had all decided to take their coffee break at the same time.

One of the Death Eaters yells, “Accio Cloak!” But Harry’s cloak (because it’s so special) doesn’t respond. I can never really figure out how Accio works. It’s not like this guy’s ever seen Harry’s particular cloak, so could he use Accio to summon that specific one? Is it enough to know that Harry has a cloak in order to summon it? If so, couldn’t he have done that six months ago, regardless of where Harry was at the time?

Or if Accio Cloak summons any cloak, shouldn’t all the Death Eater cloaks have suddenly flown off their respective baddie and engulfed the guy who cast the spell? (How I wish that had happened!)

Since that spell didn’t work, the Death Eaters spread out and try to find Harry by hand—presumably by spreading out their arms and trying to feel him out. (“Invisible man search!”) Harry and the others rapidly back up into a narrow alley and come up with the brilliant idea of Disapparating away. But, the Death Eaters are one step ahead of them and have cast anti-Appariton spells.

Curses! Damn those clever Death Eaters!

By the way, I’m in awe of the Trio’s physical prowess right here. Considering that they are already hunched down under that cloak (because it’s just a little too small to cover them completely), and that they are able to move silently and rapidly backwards in perfect synchronization. That’s pretty good.

The Death Eaters come up with the idea of sending Dementors out after Harry. Harry learns this because the Death Eaters argue about it at the top of their lungs. Since they can’t Disapparate, the Trio continues to skulk down sidestreets, but the cloak—sorry Cloak—is useless against Dementors, because they don’t use sight to track their prey. They follow the scent of emo.

Finally, the Trio are trapped and Harry decides he’d rather be showy than soulless and casts a Patronus. JKR notes that it’s of Ron and Hermione that he thinks when he casts it. That makes me laugh because they’re right there. If they were any closer to him, they’d all be a single organism, like that three-headed giant in Monty Python and the Holy Grail

The Patronus scatters the Dementors, but the Death Eaters are triumphant when they recognize Harry’s stag. Because Harry is so famous everyone knows the form of his Patronus. It’s curtains for our heroes! Well, not exactly, because the author set up their escape years earlier. A door opens and a “tall figure” tells the invisible people to go upstairs, stay hidden, and wait for him.

They do and find themselves in a sitting room with a large oil painting above the fireplace. The subject of the painting is a young blonde girl with a sweet, vacant expression. Sounds like Luna to me, but we’ll find out later that it’s Ariana.

Outside, their savior, the bar man of the Hog’s Head (as if we couldn’t guess) is getting rid of the Death Eaters by claiming that the stag Patronus is actually his own goat Patronus. My dirty mind cannot help but wonder what memory he uses to conjure up that.

The Death Eaters take a bit more convincing so the bar man reminds them that they couldn’t run their little black market schemes if he didn’t let them. Since the Death Eaters control the Ministry and everything else, I don’t know why they even need a black market, but whatever. They go away.

The Trio relaxes and Harry notices a small mirror propped up on the mantel. It’s the one Sirius kept all those years ago in order to talk to Harry! Which reminds me all over again what a selfish little prick Harry was, deciding not to talk to Sirius when he knew Sirius was going crazy for lack of company. Bastard.

The bar man returns, and even though he has stringy grey hair, Harry is able to look past his unkemptness and see that he has piercing blue eyes. He deduces that the person he thought was Albus Dumbledore is in fact his brother, Aberforth.

Aberforth tells them that he got the mirror from Mundungus and he’s been keeping an eye on them ever since. Ron deduces then that he must have been the one with the silver doe—even though he just overheard Aberforth screaming to the Death Eaters about his goat Patronus. Nice try, Ron.

Ron is hungry, so Aberfroth “slopes” out of the room to get food. That’s so unusual a usage that I looked it up. Turns out that “slope off” is British slang meaning to “move furtively.” One thing I do like about JKR is that she’s not afraid to throw in vocabulary like that.

After the ravenous Trio eats their fill, Aberforth suggests that the Trio wait until dawn (when the Caterwauling Charm will be lifted), and head for the mountains. Harry nixes that, saying he needs to get into Hogwarts.

Oh yeah, after all that running around and hiding and eating, I’d almost forgot what the hell the Trio was here for. I wonder what Voldemort is doing right now to waste time while he waits for them to find that last Horcrux…

Anyway, we now have a long argument between Aberforth and Harry about whether or not Harry should still be listening to Albus. At one point, the firelight flashes on Aberforth’s glasses, turning them white and Harry is reminded of the “blind eyes” of Hagrid’s spider, Aragog. Aragog was blind? I never noticed. And what a weird image.

Aberforth scores some really good zingers about his dead brother: That he gives people absurdly difficult tasks, that he usually ends up killing people, and that he’s dead.

Aberforth accuses Albus of leaving people in a worse state than they were before they met him, which Hermione says is a “serious thing to say!” Seems kind of mild to me, but it gives Hermione a chance to ask about Ariana and lead in to the story that we’re heard a gazillion times already in this book.

What the hell. Let’s go through it again. It’s not like we’re in a hurry or anything.

So, here’s the story Aberforth tells : When my sister was six years old, she was attacked, set upon, by three Muggle boys. They’d seen her doing magic, spying through the back garden hedge: She was a kid, she couldn’t control it, no witch or wizard can at that age. What they saw scared them, I expect. They forced their way through the hedge, and when she couldn’t show them the trick, they got a bit carried away trying to stop the little freak doing it.

I’m quoting that entire paragraph because a lot of adult readers get a definite rape vibe from this story. I think one reason is that image of the boys forcing themselves through the back garden hedge. Sometimes a hedge is just a hedge, but that is a vivid image of violation.

We also have Hermione reacting with “huge” eyes, and Ron looking slightly sick. Harry has no reaction. Maybe he’s disassociating himself because of the many times he was bullied by the Dursleys on account of his magic.

We find out that Ariana was never right after that. Her magic turned “inward” and became uncontrollable. She was either “strange and dangerous” or “sweet, scared, and harmless.” Which indicates that this was more than the boys being a “bit” carried away. And then their father goes after the “bastards” that hurt her.

Aberforth goes on to say that their father never said why he attacked the boys, because revealing that would mean putting Ariana in St. Mungo’s for life as her uncontrollable magic threatened to expose all wizards.

So, while Aberforth blames Kendra for Albus’s secretive ways, it actually goes back to the whole wizarding way of life. The reason for that back garden hedge in the first place was to avoid Muggles seeing magic being done. Every wizard’s life is based on Secrets and Lies—although families like the Malfoys might be slightly better off, since they appear to be more isolated from Muggles and therefore can be more open about magic.

Aberforth brags that he was Ariana’s favorite brother and that he could calm her down when (secretive!) Kendra couldn’t. But while he was at school, Ariana had one of her rages and Kendra was killed.

At this, Harry finally feels something—a mixture of pity and revulsion. After all, he’s the extraordinarily loving one of the Trio.

Aberforths relates with malicious glee that Albus was forced to put aside his gaycation with Elphias Doge and take over the family—even though Aberforth offered to leave school and take care of Ariana. And it worked—until Grindelwald arrived with his blond hair and his plans for world domination. And Albus was a total bitch, wanting to go search for immortality and power, while neglecting, neglecting his sister.

Apparently, there is no such thing as a home health care medi-wizard. Frankly, I’m surprised no one thought of getting an elf.

So, Aberforth confronted his brother and Grindelwald and there was a big fight and… didn’t we know this all already? Perhaps I’m jaded from reading this twice, but it seems like the only new thing we learn in this whole long story is that Ariana’s condition came from being attacked by Muggle boys. Which, okay, that’s new and it’s pretty horrible, but I got the whole fight dynamic the first eight hundred times I read about it in this book.

By the way, Harry’s now dropped the pity and is feeling only revulsion. I’m not making that up. It’s in the book.

Aberforth weeps over the death of his sister, remarking that it freed Albus to go pursue his ambition of becoming the greatest wizard…

And Harry interrupts to say that Albus was never free. He carried the guilt of that incident for his whole life. He quotes his old mentor in the grip of the Horcrux potion as saying, “Don’t hurt them, please… hurt me instead.”

Harry claims this was Albus reliving that horrible moment when Grindelwald was torturing Aberforth and… I don’t buy it. I know that Harry is right, because this is one of those times when JKR lays down the interpretative law on her story, but I don’t buy it. It feels like a really bad retcon and here’s why:

1) According to Aberforth, Grindelwald cast a Cruciatus on him, Albus told Grindelwald to stop, and then the three of them were all dueling when Ariana came in. So, Albus couldn’t have been saying “Don’t hurt them” when Grindelwald was hurting Aberforth. There was no them at that point. There was only a him.

2) “Don’t hurt them, hurt me instead” isn’t something you’d say when you’re dueling. Because you’re dueling (or in this trio-ling or brawling). The choice isn’t hurt them or hurt me. The choice is stop hurting them or I’ll kill you, motherfucker! The only time you’re likely to give someone the choice to hurt you instead of someone else is when you don’t have any other leverage. Such was not the case.

You know where I think that line would have worked? It would have worked if it were Albus pleading with his father not to hurt the Muggle boys. And it would make sense if he felt he were somehow to blame for the attack on Ariana. Like, maybe he teased her about doing magic and she went outside to try it on her own. Or he was supposed to be watching his younger sister and he got excited about something else and forgot her. Those are similar situations. The difference is—in my scenario, Albus is ten years old, powerless to stop his father, and employing kid logic.

Anyway, back to the conversation. Aberforth repeats that Harry should forget Albus and go hide for the rest of his life, and Harry retorts that he can’t because someone has to thwart Voldemort.

I’d like to point out that this isn’t an either/or situation. The best alternative to giving up Albus’s idiot schemes isn’t hiding out in the mountains for the rest of your life. The best alternative is coming up with a better plan. You know what the world did when Hitler came along? A lot of stuff. Some people hid. Some people ran. Some people resisted. Some people sabotaged his weapons. Some people used propaganda to work on his soldiers. Some people recruited armies. Some people made airplanes. Some people planted victory gardens. Some people created nuclear weapons.

All of that was better than telling a teenage boy to go hunt down a bunch of antiques and then kill himself.

Anyway, Harry convinces Aberforth to help them without even needing to bring out his Mighty Fist of Integrity. Aberforth turns to the portait Ariana and tells her “You know what to do.” Instead of exploding with dangerous magical rage, Ariana turns and walks into the background of the painting, shrinking into a dot and disappearing in what seems to be a long tunnel.

Aberforth warns them that the school is heavily guarded by… Snape and the Carrows. I’m trembling already.

Then Ariana returns with Neville Longbottom, who is described as having longer hair, several gashes on his face, and ripped and torn clothing. This cracks me up. I mean, not only is Snape imposing his Death Eater views on these poor students, he’s dismissed all the hairdresser elves! And the tailor elves!

And gashes. Really? Gashes on his face. Because the teachers are now disciplining the students by cutting their faces open. Cruciatus is no longer terrible enough.

Well, really, the number of times that spell’s been thrown around in the series, I’m not surprised that we need to up the punishment factor for Neville.

Meanwhile, we haven’t heard a thing from Voldemort this whole chapter. Even though it’s been an hour since he found out the awful truth about his Horcruxes.

Fan Service:
OMG! The mirror! We knew the mirror would come back eventually!
The bar man is Aberforth! We knew that the bar man would end up being Aberforth!
Enter Neville, kicking ass and taking names.

Fan Slappage:
Of all the millions of theories about Dumbledore’s anguished words in the Horcrux cave, I’m betting no one came up with this one.

DVD Extras:

INSERT: The Amazing Wizard Race CGI logo of planet earth, spinning.

HOST (v.o.)
Welcome back to the Amazing Wizarding Race. In our last episode, Team Voldemort took a commanding lead when they were able to kill notorious Dark Lord Grindelwald in the fortress of Nuremguard.

CUT TO:

Voldemort (with Nagini around his shoulders) casting an Avada Kadavra on Grindelwald. As Grindewald falls, he hands Voldemort a red and yellow clue envelope.

HOST (v.o.)
Meanwhile, Team Potter barely escaped elimination when they escaped from legendary Gringotts bank on the back of a dragon.

CUT TO:

The Trio, whooping and high-fiving each other as they rush through the air on the dragon’s back.

HOST (v.o.)
Who will win tonight?

Cue THEME MUSIC over montage of various racing teams: Voldemort and Nagini, the Trio, Lupin and Tonks, Lucius and Bellatrix, Narcissa and Draco, and Snape and Phineas Nigellus.

EXT: NIGHT – FOREST PATH

Voldemort, with Nagini draped around his shoulders, opens a red-and-yellow clue box.

CAPTION: Voldemort and Nagini: Soulmates

Voldemort pulls out an envelope and rips it open.

VOLDMORT
It’s a Detour.

HOST (v.o.)
In a Detour, teams must choose between two different, but equally challenging tasks: Sneak In or Shack Up.

CUT TO:

P.O.V. INVISIBILITY CLOAK

The camera moves through a darkened village street, dodging Death Eaters and Dementors.

HOST (v.o.)
In Sneak In, Teams must use an invisibility cloak to travel through Hogsmeade Village, avoiding Death Eaters, until they find this bartender.

INSERT:

ABERFORTH DUMBLEDORE, wiping down his bar with a cloth.

HOST (v.o.)
Once they have found him, they must listen as he tells them the tragic story of his dead sister. Only after they have heard the whole story will he show them this secret entrance to the historic Hogwarts School of Wizards and Witches.

Aberforth opens an entrance behind the painting of Ariana, revealing a dark tunnel.

INSERT:

THE GREY LADY holds out a clue envelope.

HOST (v.o.)
Teams must then search the school for the Grey Lady ghost, who will hand them their next clue.

CUT TO:

OVERHEAD SHOT OF LITTLE HANGLETON

HOST (v.o.)
In Shack Up, teams must fly over 700 miles to the small village of Little Hangleton.

INSERT:

Photograph showing a ruined shack.

HOST (v.o.)
Once there, they must locate this abandoned shack and rip through the floorboards looking for a golden box with a Horcrux inside. Inside the box, they’ll find their next clue.

CUT TO:

Voldemort and Nagini.

VOLDEMORT
What do you think? Shack Up?

Nagini nods.

VOLDEMORT
Shack Up it is.

CUT TO:

HARRY POTTER INTERVIEW

HARRY
We decided to do the Sneak In, because we didn’t have our brooms with us, and we’d just gotten off the dragon… I was really tired of flying.

CUT TO:

VOLDEMORT AND NAGINI

Flying through the air.

Nagini HISSES.

VOLDEMORT
Are you kidding me? Are you freaking kidding me? You just went!

Nagini HISSES again.

VOLDEMORT
Fine! We’ll look for a rest stop. I can not believe this.

He lands in a wooded area. Nagini slips off his shoulders and into the bushes. Voldemort paces angrily.

VOLDEMORT (cont’d)
This is a race, you know! If we lose this thing, I’m going to cut your [BLEEP]ing head off!

CUT TO:

VOLDEMORT AND NAGINI INTERVIEW

VOLDEMORT
I was really frustrated. I mean, it took me forever to kill enough Death Eaters to get the last clue and….

Nagini HISSES.

VOLDEMORT
(sighing) Yeah, I know. I shouldn’t take it out on you. (to the camera) We’re working on our relationship.

Nagini HISSES.

VOLDEMORT
I love you, too.

He gives her a quick kiss.

CUT TO:

INT: NIGHT – HOG’S HEAD SITTING ROOM

Aberforth Dumbledore leans back in his chair, using words and gestures to tell his story.

ABERFORTH
(sniffing) She liked to help me feed the goats…

Hermione and Ron lean forward intently. Hermione has tears in her eyes. Harry sneaks a glance at his watch.

CUT TO:

TRIO INTERVIEW

HERMIONE
It was so moving.

HARRY
It was long.

RON
I was just glad we got something to eat.

Hermione looks at Ron and shakes her head. Harry sneaks a glance at his watch. They all look at the camera and sigh.

CUT TO COMMERCIAL