PoA Chapter Nine

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

And by grim defeat we mean one of those times where Harry's unconscious and the team loses without him.

All the students are taken into the Great Hall to sleep. Dumbledore conjures sleeping bags for them, and they’re purple because he’s gay.

The Trio discusses how it’s lucky Sirius tried to break in when they weren’t there, which is really a careful clue that he wasn’t trying to get them at all.

Can’t help but wonder if Dumbledore is having a conversation somewhere even half as intelligent as the one the kids are having about how Sirius could have gotten in. I conclude that no, of course he isn’t. He’s just walking around looking amused and twinkling and everyone assumes he’s got it all under control.

Filch can restore paintings? Why doesn’t this guy have a better job?

Dumbledore’s just sure that nobody in the castle could have helped Black. Because he loves thinking that the threat of his disappointment would be enough to deter anybody.

I will always like Lupin for the way he actually is helping Black in a small way, even if he’s presumably doing it out of cowardice because that’s the kind of guy he is. Teddy’s probably lucky he’s not around to raise him. Though then again, cowardice is often in the blood.

Hannah Abbott tells everyone Sirius can maybe turn into a flowering shrub. Somehow nobody seems to hit on "maybe he’s an Animagi" even though that’s kind of an obvious possibility. As is Polyjuice. Sure, I didn’t think of it, but I’m not a wizard.

Like, the reverse equivalent would be like…if we were Wizard readers of a book set in the Muggle world. And when students’ grades got changed the Muggle student characters all came up with ideas like people breaking into the student office with axes instead of wondering if anybody hacked into the system.

Really, it’s not that there’s no way Black could have gotten in, it’s that there’s no end of ways he could have gotten in. That castle’s about as secure as…well, it's as secure as a big drafty castle when you’re a person with magical powers.

Hannah’s the one Neville marries right? Because see, she’s talking about plants. Soulmates!

Sir Cadogan becomes the password portrait, and he makes up complicated passwords that he changes twice a day. Yeah, it’s totally Neville’s fault that he needs to write them down.

Percy trails Harry everywhere to protect him. I can see why Harry hates the guy. Stop caring, Percy!

Wood announces to the team that they’ll be playing Hufflepuff instead of Slytherin. He says the reason is their Seeker’s arm’s still injured, but really it’s that Harry’s going to pass out during the game and since that’s going to result in everybody describing Harry as being "beaten" at Quidditch, it obviously can’t be Malfoy. Harry can only be fake-beaten by his moral equal.

Cedric is described as strong and silent, which Fred translates as too thick to string two words together. Our heroes, ladies and gentlemen.

Lupin’s not teaching class, which Harry assumes must be because of the Potion Snape gave him days before. Instead of the illness Lupin said he was taking the Potion for.

Can anyone explain why a class who chomps at the bit at anything the slightest bit violent is grumbling resentfully because Snape wants to skip to the werewolf chapter?

Snape is totally Team Edward.

Wow. Moment of dizziness as fictional worlds collide around strong and silent Cedric and Robert Pattinson.

It certainly is a mark of how much the class loathes Snape that they glare at him for his snapping at Hermione. Calling her a know-it-all is out of line, but it is a little embarrassing that she can’t control herself. Well, we had this whole discussion last chapter.

And Ron does pretty much go too far with that line. I don't usually see Snape as just defensively reacting to students who are out of line, but the class is being a bit ridiculous here, and since they’re doing it on behalf of Lupin it must drive Snape even more crazy.

Btw, Ron gets all mad at someone else insulting Hermione. Soulmates! Only he gets to call her a know-it-all!

Ron has to scrub the bedpans by hand. How often are kids so injured at this school they’re using bedpans?

The Twins probably think stealing peoples’ kidneys is hilarious or something.

As sad as it is that Snape never grows beyond adolescence (not that anyone else does either), I can see why he throws himself so into this Lupin/Black thing. The guy’s got all of 5 people who were important to him in his life and finally after 20 years two of them are in the building.

Quidditch matches aren’t called for trifles like thunderstorms. Wizards are now officially too dumb to come in out of the rain.

Seekers are usually light and speedy, Harry thinks, but Harry growing tall and gorgeous won’t be hurting him in the coming years.

LOL! I can just see JKR trying desperately to come up with a way to make Quidditch different this time. "I’ve got it! Rain!"

It doesn’t say much about Harry that he needs Hermione to look up the spell to make his glasses repel water. Wouldn't anyone who wore glasses have that spell memorized?

Sirius is watching Harry play and that’s kind of adorable.

So everyone’s flying in gale winds and Harry’s knocked unconscious by a crowd of Dementors who shouldn’t even be on the field. But Malfoy’s not playing because his arm’s a bit sore. Am I to understand that if one person on this team swallowed their pride enough to say they should postpone it all of this would be avoided?

You’d think the Slytherins might have an advantage in the rain, them being the water house.

Everyone’s worried about Harry’s near-death fall of 50 feet. I’m a little suspicious about it being so dangerous to fall off a broom when part of the game involves trying to knock people off their brooms. Either wizards bounce or they don’t.

Everyone says Cedric won fair and square, because we all know he didn’t. It’s physically impossible to beat Harry fair and square at any event like this, really. Ron doesn’t even beat him fair and square for Prefect.

I know I just said this but I can’t get over Harry lying there thinking how he’s lost a Quidditch match for the first time ever. Because not only has he never lost before, but he didn’t lose now.

If only Nu!Ginny had been here she would have leapt out of the stands, grapped Harry's broom and caught the Snitch herself. Soulmates!

Hermione describes how Dumbledore shooed away the Dementors. Note that even with the things swarming the school Dumbledore still doesn’t think the kids should learn to make a Patronus. That’s only for Dumbledore’s buddies. And, randomly, Umbridge.

Oh no. More tragedy as Harry’s lost his faithful broomstick. Where will he ever get another? Except by going to the store and buying a new one with his piles of gold? Or maybe another one will just fall out of the sky for him like this one did.

Things used more than once:
First mention of Apparition! Strangely, it’s mentioned as if it’s some sort of rare skill instead of something everyone would assume Sirius was doing all over the place.
Naturally this is also the first mention of how you can’t Apparate inside Hogwarts. Thanks, Hermione.
You know, we probably could have easily just met Sir Cadogan when he took over for the Fat Lady. But probably introducing him first in a neutral way is to make it seem like the world really does spill out around the actual story.
Second use of a Patronus.
Psst. You know how it looks like Snape wants Lupin dead? He’s actually protecting him!
Until DH I might have thought the conversation between Snape, Percy and Dumbledore about Black was the most egregious example of convenience in eavesdropping.

It’s a gun. No it isn’t! It’s Chekov! No it isn’t!
You can’t Apparate inside Hogwarts. (Except House Elves.)
Status: Tragically misfired on Montague. And God knows people get in every which other way.

How did Dumbledore shoo away the Dementors?
Status: We’ll find out all right.




Informed Attributes
Woe! Harry has lost a Quidditch match fair and square! Unless you don’t consider being hit with a tranquilizer dart as you’re running for a goal fair.

Misdirected Answering
Since this is one of those books where the central drama has nothing to do with Harry, the whole story is misdirected answering. In this case it’s discussions of why Snape is poisoning Lupin.

Jabootu Score: 2

Comments

[eir-de-scania.livejournal.com]

"Either wizards bounce or they don’t."

Might depend on the height they're falling from. A Quidditch player is much higher up than the second floor of a building.

[black-dog.livejournal.com]

Might depend on the height they're falling from.

Yes, would be interesting to see a scientific study of this. Preferably involving the largest possible sample size. :D

[eir-de-scania.livejournal.com]

Totally OT, but, nice user pic!

[black-dog.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Your poodles are kind of cool as well -- a little bit fractal-looking.