COS Chapter Five: "The Whomping Willow"

[for-diddled.livejournal.com]

 

* Harry spends six weeks of the school holidays at the Dursleys’ house, and for the rest of the year he’s a massive celebrity who can basically do whatever he likes because of something that he can’t remember and had nothing to do with. Doesn’t sound to me like he’s got much reason to be jealous of Ron.

* Is the fact that dinner contains all Harry’s favourite things a coincidence, or did Mrs. Weasley deliberately design it that way? If so, is she already trying to snare Harry in order to get her hands on some of his money? *Grins at the thought of MoneyGrubbing!Molly*

* Somehow I can’t imagine the Malfoys being so disorganised.

* “Muggles do know more than we given them credit for, don’t they?” says Mrs. Weasley, the big joke being that they don’t, it’s all magic. Wizards rule!

* The Weasley parents let Fred and George take fireworks to school? Christ, it’s no wonder they’re so badly-behaved.

* Also, couldn’t they just take the kids to the station, then later mail them the things they’ve left behind?

* Still, the foreshadowing of Ginny’s diary is nicely done, though, so I forgive JKR for this minor plot hole.

* Is it really necessary to run into the barrier? Surely standing casually near it and then slipping through when nobody’s looking would be less likely to attract attention.

* Yes, Ron, of course all those grown-up, fully-qualified wizards on Platform 9 ¾ aren’t going to be able to figure a way of getting back. *rolls eyes*

* “The Dursleys haven’t given me pocket money in about six years,” says Harry, implying that they did until he was six years old. I wonder what he bought then that made them decide he couldn’t be trusted with his own money?

* That flying car plan has got to rate as one of the stupidest in the books, and as you can imagine, it’s up against some stiff competition.

* If Harry and Ron had really become invisible, they’d be blind, although to be fair to JKR this little problem with the laws of physics isn’t exactly unique to her.

* The description of the car flying above the clouds is good. Really brings out the wonderment Harry and Ron must be feeling.

* Any guesses as to which city they’re seeing? I was thinking it might be Birmingham or Manchester or somewhere like that, but the “wide, purplish moors” would seem to imply that they’re further north than that.

* Pumpkins aren’t particularly juicy, so it must take a lot to get enough for the whole school to drink. I can’t imagine why wizards drink pumpkin as opposed to, say, orange or apple juice.

* An impact hard enough to raise a golf-ball-sized lump on someone’s head would knock most people out, but Harry is a Gryffindor, and therefore above trivial injuries such as concussion.

* Wonder if there’s meant to be any Freudian symbolism in Ron having a broken wand? :p

* I probably shouldn’t ask why charming a car to make it fly would make it gain sentience.

* Harry looks through the window into the Great Hall, and the reader is treated to a rare sighting of the elusive Hogwarts school hat.

* Now I'm imagining watching a Springwatch-type programme set in Hogwarts, where the presenters set up hidden cameras around the school in the hope of getting a glimpse of one of the school hats.

* “For a few horrible seconds”, Harry had worried that he’d be put in Slytherin. One of the clearest indications in the books that we’re meant to think of being put in Slytherin as a sign of great evil.

* Harry seems to show a remarkable knowledge of colours here. I doubt I’d be able to recognise aquamarine when I saw it.

* The narrative voice pauses to bitch about how “everyone” hates Snape for a few sentences, inexplicably omitting to mention that he saved Harry’s life last year.

* BTW, I highly doubt that Snape was disliked by “everyone outside of his own house (Slytherin)”. In my experience, children tend to quite like the sarcastic teachers.

* Unless by “everyone” Jo means “everyone who matters”, i.e., Harry, Ron and Hermione.

* Snape’s suddenly appearing behind them like that is pretty funny.

* So how is it that the Evening Prophet can interview these Muggles, write the story, print the paper, and send it up to Scotland in less time than it takes Harry and Ron to fly directly from London to Hogwarts? If I were doing Jabootu scores, this would definitely be a case of offscreen teleportation.

* Why would someone travelling from London to Scotland go via Norfolk? Do wizards just like the countryside there?

* Harry hasn’t thought of what effect his stupid actions will have on others. Well, colour me shocked!

* No idea what the “large, slimy something suspended in green liquid” is there for. Probably to add to the atmosphere.

* I’m surprised McGonagall is so angry. One would have thought that, as a Gryffindor, she’d prize reckless action without any thought.

* Harry told the story as if he and Ron just happened to find a flying car, making them look like a pair of criminals as well as a pair of idiots, and continuing in the long tradition of lying to save the arses of adults who really should know better.

* Harry’s being worried about Gryffindor losing points is rather sweet. It’d be interesting to see how the hourglasses in the Great Hall show Gryffindor being on negative points, though.

* One detention each sounds like a pretty inadequate punishment, TBH.

* Is it possible to conjure up food out of thin air, then? If so, wizards could pretty much solve world hunger without any problems at all. That they don’t makes them look rather selfish and insular.

* “Breaking the law? Cool!” Seems Twinkly’s favouritism has given the Gryffindors something of an entitlement complex when it comes to breaking rules. At least Percy and Hermione have the right idea.

* If there are only five second-year Gryffindor boys, and the same amount of girls, and this number is about right for every House and every year, then there would only be 280 children in Hogwarts in total. Which would seem to contradict slightly the description of Hogwarts as a huge castle, or the dining hall as larger than the Dursleys’ house. Oh dear maths/architecture/consistency/worldbuilding…

* Meanwhile, Draco Malfoy goes to sleep in the Slytherin dorms, muttering, “Stupid Potter with his stupid broomstick and his stupid flying car and his stupid ginger boyfriend, he can do literally anything and get away with just a detention.” Little does he realise that he will be proved right in Year 6, after a certain incident in the bathrooms.

 

Comments

[elanor-x.livejournal.com]

Pumpkins aren’t particularly juicy, so it must take a lot to get enough for the whole school to drink. I can’t imagine why wizards drink pumpkin as opposed to, say, orange or apple juice.

I've started buying carrot and pumpkin juice from Russia. The taste is wonderful. Link to the picture of the bottle:
http://www.basketfood.ru/bpic/bigs/2287_tukva_morkov185.jpg

Besides, pumpkin afterwards can be used to feed students, pigs and may be even cattle.

* I probably shouldn’t ask why charming a car to make it fly would make it gain sentience.

Because I bet there is a general prohibition against making any objects gain sentience, let alone Muggle ones, which Arthur broke too. Who made you think he confessed all his crimes to the boys? ;)

Harry’s being worried about Gryffindor losing points is rather sweet. It’d be interesting to see how the hourglasses in the Great Hall show Gryffindor being on negative points, though.

2 ideas:
1) The numbers change from [0...MAX_INITIAL_NUM] to [-MAX_INITIAL_NUM ... 0] with golden rubies' level showing the current number of points.
2) From golden the rubies could change color to black.

Is it possible to conjure up food out of thin air, then?

No, food is 1 of 5 exceptions. We learn it in DH.

* If Harry and Ron had really become invisible, they’d be blind...

Why? Could you explain the physics, please?

[oryx_leucoryx]

Somehow I can’t imagine the Malfoys being so disorganised.

Hence the theory (by swythyv? Jodel?) that Dobby was at the Burrow, secretly unpacking the trunks in order to make Harry late for the train.

The Weasley parents let Fred and George take fireworks to school? Christ, it’s no wonder they’re so badly-behaved.

Well, that firework Harry tossed in Potions class had to be foreshadowed.

I’m surprised McGonagall is so angry. One would have thought that, as a Gryffindor, she’d prize reckless action without any thought.

In PS she was angry that the kids were out at night in 'dangerous times'. Then punished them by forcing them to be out at night - not just in the castle but in the forest. Where someone desperate enough to kill unicorns lurked. In that vein, she should indeed be angry with Harry and Ron, and then punish them with something even more dangerous, like tending to the Whomping Willow for instance.

[sharaz-jek.livejournal.com]

* Also, couldn’t they just take the kids to the station, then later mail them the things they’ve left behind?

Errol would probably die if they tried this. No explanation as to why they can't give him Strengthening Solution or something, of course.

* If Harry and Ron had really become invisible, they’d be blind, although to be fair to JKR this little problem with the laws of physics isn’t exactly unique to her.

After OotP we can probably assume this was a modified Disillusionment Charm (because apparently magic can be automated in the Potterverse - shame nothing interesting is ever done with this), so I'd guess their retinas were just changing colour to match their surroundings rather than actually vanishing. The real problem with this is how they managed to drive without being able to see any of the pedals or the steering wheel, and how they avoided crashing into buildings during lift-off due to not being able to see where the car was in relation to them.

* An impact hard enough to raise a golf-ball-sized lump on someone’s head would knock most people out, but Harry is a Gryffindor, and therefore above trivial injuries such as concussion.

Most of a wizard's head is composed of potential lump tissue. The skull is in fact tiny, since it doesn't need to contain as large a brain. If Harry had completed his seventh year, Hagrid would have covered it in Care of Magical Creatures (it's the closest thing they have to biology after all).

* So how is it that the Evening Prophet can interview these Muggles, write the story, print the paper, and send it up to Scotland in less time than it takes Harry and Ron to fly directly from London to Hogwarts? If I were doing Jabootu scores, this would definitely be a case of offscreen teleportation.

Quick-Quotes-Quills and enchanted presses? More mysteriously, why are they bothering to get the Muggles' viewpoints, seeing as how they're not really people?

* Is it possible to conjure up food out of thin air, then? If so, wizards could pretty much solve world hunger without any problems at all. That they don’t makes them look rather selfish and insular.

Officially they can't create food, but Molly's able to pour some sort of sauce out of her wand at one point. Things I Learned From JKR #156: Sauce is not food.

[majorjune.livejournal.com]

Pumpkins aren’t particularly juicy, so it must take a lot to get enough for the whole school to drink. I can’t imagine why wizards drink pumpkin as opposed to, say, orange or apple juice.

Presumably JKR was going for something "witchy", and pumpkins are usually associated with witches and Halloween (and here in the states with Thanksgiving pie)...

The thing is, such an association is relatively modern, and an American modification. Originally the European (mostly Irish) lore had it that one had to carve a TURNIP into a scary image and light it within to scare off the possible evil spirits that may also show up when one's deceased relatives showed up for dinner on Samhain night...

In early America there weren't that many turnips, so the Irish immigrants started using carved pumpkins instead.


BTW, I highly doubt that Snape was disliked by “everyone outside of his own house (Slytherin)”. In my experience, children tend to quite like the sarcastic teachers.

When you actually look at canon, I don't see Ravenclaws or Hufflepuffs routinely dissing Snape; in fact Ravenclaw Luna Lovegood seems to respect Snape, and oddly enough he seems to respect her too -- at the very least, he never puts her down, even when she makes outrageous comments.

I think Snape was a man who demanded respect from his students, and Gryffindors routinely disrespected him.

[madderbrad.livejournal.com]

It’d be interesting to see how the hourglasses in the Great Hall show Gryffindor being on negative points, though.

The first novel of Green Gecko's fan fiction trilogy, Resonance (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1795399/1/Resonance), had a cute idea on that score ... she wrote the teachers as being uncertain on that matter, loath to bring a house into negative territory:

"Unfortunately we don't have a system that accommodates negative points, Mr. Malfoy, otherwise I would."

and

"I might remind you of the story Albus used to tell of the time three hundred years ago when Hufflepuff went a hundred points to the negative and all the students in that House disappeared. Poof! And no one could find them for a week until one of them owled from Iceland." She took a long sip from her goblet as though alarmed at the very notion of that happening while she was headmistress. "I'll confess I was a little afraid of even tempting anything of that sort."

A fun and creative idea!

Stupid train

[karentheunicorn.livejournal.com]

wee! train ride...who doesn't wanna ride the train!

But my question is, families have to travel from all over the UK to drop there kids off at the train station so there kids can take another trip from there to the school on the train? Isn't that kinda...stupid?

Why the hell not just let some families travel to the school and drop their kids off at the gate...half the people are having to travel from somewhere else anyway, unless everyone who is magical lives within a few miles of the train station. Why not just let the parents drop their kids off at the Hogwarts gates?

I mean what if you live 10 miles from Hogwarts, I hope you can just take your kid to the gates. But it always seems like everyone has to get on the damn stupid train.

Screw the train station and the stupid magic needed to hide the platform.

[mmmarcusz.livejournal.com]

* Any guesses as to which city they’re seeing? I was thinking it might be Birmingham or Manchester or somewhere like that, but the “wide, purplish moors” would seem to imply that they’re further north than that.

Probably Leeds.

* Pumpkins aren’t particularly juicy, so it must take a lot to get enough for the whole school to drink. I can’t imagine why wizards drink pumpkin as opposed to, say, orange or apple juice.

It's more Hallowe'eny.

[mmmarcusz.livejournal.com]

* Meanwhile, Draco Malfoy goes to sleep in the Slytherin dorms, muttering, “Stupid Potter with his stupid broomstick and his stupid flying car and his stupid ginger boyfriend, he can do literally anything and get away with just a detention.” Little does he realise that he will be proved right in Year 6, after a certain incident in the bathrooms.

The funniest thing is how ENRAGED Harry gets when Malfoy gets away with minor things - making faces at him, insulting the Weasleys, making silly badges.

[harpsi-fizz.livejournal.com]

I feel late to the party. 103 comments, holydamn. I knew you'd break out; your reviews are too entertaining.

First off, thank you for bringing up invisibility. I Wiki'd it and I'm really glad to have learned that!

I can’t imagine why wizards drink pumpkin as opposed to, say, orange or apple juice.
To quote Mike Nelson from Rifftrax- "whimsy, my friend." (I think you'd love those; I hope you can download some, hopefully donate to the Rifftrax guys afterward)

If there are only five second-year Gryffindor boys, and the same amount of girls, and this number is about right for every House and every year, then there would only be 280 children in Hogwarts in total.

I really wonder about how that whole thing works! How do we know we're going to get an even number of students in each house? Suppose one year there is an influx of a certain group of people? What does the hat do then? Put the excess in their second best suited house? "Yazareth, Arnold! ... Yes well you have a very strong drive, very strong. Buuuut we've had too many Slytherins so far, so... GRYFFINNNNNNDOR!"