HBP Chapter Seven

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

*Honestly, you’d think if Slughorn was such a master of networking he’d think to find a more attractive name for his club. Though I guess given Wizarding humor the name is probably a plus.

*I can understand why Harry’s slightly annoyed at Ron and Hermione getting bored at discussing the possible meaning of Malfoy’s behavior after only a few days. These are the people who discussed Harry’s encounter with Barty Crouch Senior an entire night only to come up with “Either Mr. Crouch attacked Viktor, or somebody attacked both of them when Viktor wasn’t looking.” After a few days I’d expect them to only have figured out, “Malfoy needs something fixed…”

*My guess is Hermione and Ron are disinterested because they firmly believe Malfoy is just a school antagonist for Harry to grow beyond. They’re just impatiently awaiting the arrival of Good Slytherin Theodore Nott.

*Ron tells us Malfoy’s got a shriveled up hand, the Hand of Glory, though I’m not sure where he would have seen it. I thank Ron for mentioning it, though, since last I saw of the Hand of Glory Malfoy specifically didn’t have it.

*Poor Harry’s had to go through the slow deductive process on his own, revealing to Ron that Borgin’s got another one of the object Malfoy wants in his store. He gets no points for this from Ron or Hermione, but I like to encourage Harry’s basic skills of comprehension when I can.

*I admit, I love it when Harry and Malfoy connect over the only thing they can connect over, that little kids can have great big plans for revenge.

*On first reading I was all proud of myself for remembering that Harry’s version of the events at Madam Malkins was wrong, that Malfoy did not jerk his arm away when she went to roll up his sleeve, but jerked his arm away when she stuck him with a pin, which she already had. However, since this issue was never actually resolved, I guess I could be wrong. It still doesn’t make much sense to me. It’s not like Malfoy wouldn’t know what to expect from a robe fitting when he went in there. Especially since it’s not like she’d be rolling his sleeve up to his elbow. She’s just putting a cuff on the wrist. And Malfoy pulls off the robe himself a second later which would flash even more arm skin.

*Anyway, the Dark Mark at least makes more sense than the damn werewolf bite.

*Harry shows how at home he feels at the Weasleys by acting like Molly’s very own slob of a teenaged son. She’s urged him to not leave his washing and packing until the last minute, by which I assume he shouldn’t bring *her* the washing at the last minute.

*Harry runs into Ginny in the hall and she’s her usual charming self, reminding him that as an honorary member of the I HATE FLEUR Club he’s got to call her Phlegm and say she smells like poo.

*My irritation at Ginny is immediately wiped away as Harry smiles at her that he’ll be careful not to slip in the Phlegm that is Fleur. Sure the response is completely nonsensical, but Harry has smiled it at her. How does one smile a statement? Perhaps Harry finally got bored with Quidditch and sent away for a Ventriloquism course. (MST3K reference: Ventriloquism is huge in England!)

*Are we supposed to think badly of Fleur for talking about her upcoming wedding? Or assume that as mother-of-the-groom Molly would be bored by it? What, somehow more girly that conversations about love potions and how to catch a man?

*Two bridesmaids in pale gold sounds quite tasteful to me. Also in my experience red-heads appreciate it when people choose bridesmaids dresses that compliment their red hair. Damn that Fleur for her small acts of thoughtfulness!

*Though perhaps what’s wrong is Fleur isn’t getting on board with the Weasley’s notoriously tacky taste in clothes. Molly would have Ginny in puffy mutton sleeves with a big bow! Salmon Pink and maroon all the way for the red-heads!

*Oh, here’s where Fleur really shows herself to be evil, saying that Tonks has let herself go. The thing is, this line sounds completely out of character for Fleur based on what I’ve seen of her thus far. Not that she wouldn’t notice Tonks’ looks, but I think it would be more in character for her to offer her a makeover for the wedding.

*And there’s Ginny again tripping Ron. The way she’s waged this all-out war on Fleur where everyone has to join her or be punished is just so attractive. Ginny 1 would never have done anything like it. That’s why Ginny 1 had to be eliminated. Ginny 1 would probably have a nice relationship with Fleur and be looking forward to having a sister.

*There was no cheerful Hagrid waiting for them at the station. Count our blessings!

*The Aurors are dressed in Muggle suits. I guess because if you’re going to try to imitate efficiency it’s best to be as Muggle as you can.

*Harry reacts to his guards with irritation. I’m sure guarding the Boy Who Lived is considered a real plum assignment at Auror headquarters. “Babysitting the brat today, Earl? Sucks to be you.”

*Harry motions for Ron and Hermione to follow him without waiting to consult his grim-faced Auror. Got that? Because Harry is kind of a bad ass. He’ll show that person trying to protect him who’s boss—and Ron and Hermione as well!

*Hermione is still apologetic over Harry’s not being a Prefect a year later. I’m surprised she hasn’t lobbied for Quidditch captains to get seats in the Prefects carriage. God knows she had time to start a new revolution during breaks from the daily mandatory Quidditch.

*Mr. Weasley proves himself a genius for figuring out that when the kids disappeared they actually went somewhere else. He raised those lovable scamps, Fred and George! Not sure what he’s bragging about there.

*Harry points out that if Draco wants something fixed at Borgin’s, it’s probably dark and dangerous. Mr. Weasley says he doubts it because…the Ministry raided the Manor and took away everything dark and dangerous. Um, Arthur? Doesn’t Borgin specifically deal in the dark and dangerous? And are you really that confident in the Ministry’s powers to do, well, anything so difficult as search a manor?

*Mr. Weasley scoffs at the idea Voldemort would have dealings with a sixteen year old. I mean, other than Voldemort’s 16-year-old arch-nemesis who’s currently under armed guard because the whole Wizarding World is depending on him.

*Mrs. Weasley jogs after the train, waving to Harry. OMG Harry/Molly OTP! It’s just like JKR’s parents!

*Ginny’s chatting to some friends. No, you don’t have to know who they are. The point is she’s very very popular. If these people are important enough Ginny will insult them by name later.

*Ginny can’t find a compartment with Harry because she’s going to meet Dean. Harry, stunned after being hit in the head by the heavy anvil hint that he’s after Ginny now, forgets that as Dean’s friend he could in fact sit with him too. Ginny forgets this too, probably because she and Hermione discussed how that would be the best move in Operation Chosen Boyfriend.

*Ginny walks away, her long red hair dancing behind her. Ron’s got a weakness for Veelas, Harry’s easily hypnotized by hair. If you focus on it you don’t have to look at the girlie body bits. It might as well be Cedric Diggory with that hair. Mmmm. Cedric…heroic like a Greek god.

*Harry has forgotten that Ginny doesn’t normally hang around them at school. Unlike some readers, who long for the days.

*Harry blinks and realizes he’s surrounded by mesmerized girls. Geez, Ginny’s dancing hair really is powerful. She really ought to tie it up!

*Oh, I see the mesmerized girls are to tell us that lots of girls who aren’t good enough for Harry want him. Making him Ginny’s equal.

*Harry feels a certain fondness for the Quibbler, it having saved his arse and smote his enemies last year. At this point Harry doesn’t really have to explain why he feels a fondness for anything. We can pretty much assume it means that it did something for him recently.

*Neville says the kids staring into the compartment are even staring at Luna and himself, because they are with Harry. ::sigh:: Neville Longbottom. The Wizarding World’s Ralphie Wiggum.

*Neville announces he was afraid his grandmother would be angry that his fighting against evil people brought attention to her family. Instead it turns out his risking his life makes him finally almost not an embarrassment to his dead father’s memory. Great! No wonder Trevor tries to dive under the seat. He’s trying to get out of that family.

*Gran’s even bought Neville a new wand—as if there was a real risk she’d have sent him to school wandless for his shame. And it’s a Cherry and Unicorn hair, Ollivander’s Eternally Virgin Special!

*Luna announces she has no friends and Harry tells us this is the kind of “uncomfortable” thing Luna says. This year. Because she didn’t say stuff like that last year, really. She’s found an entirely new way of saying “Look at me.”

*Romilda Vane appears. In case you’re wondering if we should like her or not, she’s confident but has a prominent chin. No, you should not like her.

*Remember how last year Harry wished he were with cooler people when the older, cool girl he liked walked in? Well now he chooses to sit with the same people over the younger, obnoxious homely girl and her friends. What growth!

*"People expect you to have cooler friends than us," Luna says, displaying her tedious habit of seeking attention by making sure everyone knows how weird she is knack for embarrassing honesty.

*Harry announces that since Neville and Luna risked their lives for him they are, in fact, good enough to sit with a cool guy like him. Really Harry? With the actual captain of the Quidditch team? The Chosen One? But they’ve never faced Voldemort.

*Neville chats about his grades, while Harry wonders if Neville’s mother would have died to save him if he was threatened as a baby. When you’re the Chosen One you have to wonder things like this about people.

*Luckily Voldemort chose Harry for “his own inscrutable reasons.” Not really inscrutable, Harry. You are the one who is his equal and Neville is not. Even as a baby, the superiority was there. Just ask Dumbledore.

*Neville notices Harry’s totally not listening to him. Luna jumps in to bring the attention back to herself by mentioning wrackspurts. It’s like a battle of giants with Harry and Luna in a car. Who is more self-absorbed?

*LOL! Ron appears in the carriage and tattles on Malfoy. He’s sitting with the Slytherins! He’s not doing his Prefect duty! I expect Hermione has owled ahead to inform the headmaster.

*Apparently Malfoy happily abused his power as Prefect last year. Hey, just because Harry couldn’t recognize half the kids in his year doesn’t mean he can’t suddenly drop information about Malfoy’s Reign of Terror as a Prefect last year just because it was a total non-issue at the time.

*Harry thinks this seems to suggest Malfoy’s got more important things to do than bullying younger students. As opposed to Hermione, who bullies younger students in response to more important things (like if she’s worried about OWLS, she’ll take it out on them).

*Harry shows even more brilliant deductive ability when he knows ahead of time that Neville’s invited to Slughorn’s place for being a Pureblood! Did Harry take smart pills? He’s making connections all over the place!

*Harry deals nobly with everyone staring, but gets the small reward of seeing Marietta Edgecomb is still suffering for having loyalties apart from him last year. Please please please let this storyline have some satisfying ending. Otherwise I’m going to be stuck just thinking these people suck.

*Ginny grimaces at Harry from behind Slughorn’s back, which pretty much sums up Ginny.

*In the seventy years that Slughorn’s been creating a vast social network he apparently has not managed to pick up any subtly whatsoever. Your famous uncle isn’t speaking to your father? You get no pie.

*Everyone’s there because they’re connected to someone influential. Except Ginny. Well, no, not except Ginny. Ginny is there because of her connection to the author who can’t miss a chance to remind us that anyone, if given a chance, would pick Ginny. For anything.

*Apparently Slughorn is reserving judgment on Neville to see if he has any of his parents’ flair. Which is odd because if there’s one thing Neville’s parents seem to lack it is flair.

*Blaise makes the mistake of snorting at Harry, which inspires a shrill rebuke from Ginny, Harry’s attack harpy.

*And this amazingly, proves that Ginny clearly does belong with the snooty folk. Zabini merely looks contemptuous, which I would appreciate except that we’re soon to be told he’s just jellus.

*Harry spends a tedious journey in the car. One wonders why Ginny doesn’t just do her snot jinx so they can all leave. Isn’t that what the upper crust do when someone begins to bore them?

*Ginny explains that she got into the club because Zacharias Smith, whom one would think would be considered okay by now, asked her too many questions. If you look in your Mary Sue manual under “Bitchy Witch” and “Fiery temper” you’ll understand how this is supposed to reflect well on Ginny.

*By the way, if you’re keeping score that two more people in this chapter whom Ginny doesn’t like.

*Harry says that a hex is a better reason to invite someone to lunch than that their parents are famous. I’m going to have to disagree. I’d pick lunch with a movie star’s sister over lunch with some girl with a temper and a mucus fixation any day.

*Thank goodness Harry decides to just do something stupid here to move the plot along. Thanks Harry. I was getting really bored and I can’t hex the book to make it stop.

*Okay, so Harry has his invisible foot in the door and Blaise honestly can’t tell he’s there? Even when he opens the door himself? That invisibility cloak must have some powerful spells on it. Harry’s not exactly Jack Bauer with the sneaking skills.

*I’m surprised the Slytherin compartment doesn’t have a beaded curtain at the entrance. Surely the lighting is dim and pink and incense fills the air. Crabbe plays the sitar as Pansy feeds Draco grapes.

*I have to say this: of course Draco and Pansy are going out. Rowling’s got half a page to establish something about the relationships here. Do you really think she’s writing from the fanfic perspective where we’re supposed to wonder if Draco isn’t just Pansy’s gay friend or that they’re just friends who for some reason pet each other? That Draco’s playing hard to get?

*Go Crabbe with the comic! I love Crabbe! And I love that Malfoy is friends with somebody who’s into comics! I’ll bet they’ve hung around in many stores while Crabbe picked out his monthly stash.

*Pansy announces Belby’s a prat. In case you’re thinking that’s the type of thing Ginny would say, and indeed will say throughout the book, you should note that she’s saying *Belby* is a prat. That’s the kid that Slughorn dissed and who didn’t get a pie. Which means Pansy’s a bully where Ginny is not.

*Draco proves himself the real Chosen One by honestly not seeing what’s so great about Ginny. Perhaps he just hasn’t seen her dancing hair yet. Blaise falls down in my estimation by using prejudice to cover up the obvious fact that he just wishes he could have Ginny for his girl!

*Harry, meanwhile, is disgusted at Pansy looking as if anyone would like to be in her place, with Malfoy in her lap. Stop looking like that, Pansy! Harry wouldn’t really like to be in your place at all! You’re just making him feel that way by…looking like that. He’s not projecting at all. You are. YOU ARE!!!

*Yay Draco for not caring about Slughorn! Sure he’s probably telling himself that Voldemort’s club is much cooler, but anything to get the idea into his head is a good start.

*Malfoy calls Slughorn a fat old has-been. Even though he’s never seen him. Is his fat the stuff of legend?

*What does “fully qualified” mean exactly? Surely Fred and George are fully qualified even though they’ve only got OWLS?

*Hee! I love Pansy gazing at Malfoy as if she’s never seen anything so awe-inspiring when he suggests he’s joined an insane terrorist group. Poor Ron won’t be getting much of that in the future.

*Of course this just must mean Pansy’s badly treated or subservient. And probably she’ll be beaten and raped. It always ends in being beaten and raped.

*Goyle was probably so thrilled when he found out he’d smacked the Chosen One upside the head without even knowing it.

*Harry isn’t afraid of Malfoy, but he doesn’t want to be found under his cloak by unfriendly Slytherins. I’ll bet not. If there’s one person who knows what that would be like it’s Harry Potter, having been on the other side any number of times.

*As I said once before, for all that Malfoy is a boob much of the time, he is, sadly, pretty much our most cunning Slytherin. This is his second actual cunning plan, the first being the one to get Harry expelled with the Midnight Duel. See how he manages to convince Harry he doesn’t know he’s there!

*I like that the narrator still manages to get a little dig in at Pansy. She’s holding out her hand as if *hoping* Draco will hold it. Not *expecting* he will hold it, which sounds much reasonable. If she were just hoping she’d be standing there trying to look inconspicuous with her hand in easy range. Girlfriends stick out their hand because the boy is supposed to hold it.

*LOL. And it’s pretty funny the way Draco’s closing the blinds and Harry’s thinking, “Yes, I’ve totally got him!” I’m surprised Draco’s not whistling to himself as he does it.

*So can Harry see out from the Invisibility cloak? Usually covered by a cloak you’d have to peek out under it, but this one seems to work like a two-way mirror.

*Draco is so pleased he figured this out. This incident probably fuels him for most of the year. “I can do this. The Potter thing actually worked. My luck is changing…”

* Malfoy deals with Harry violently, yet in a controlled way. Excuse me. I mean he proves himself to be a psychotic lunatic who could never be anything but evil. How can they even let him in school?



Box Picture
Honestly, it feels like the last three chapters have been about re-introducing us to all these characters important only because we’ve seen them before.

Exploitation Filmmakers’ Credo
See how in this chapter Harry keeps telling people something’s up with Malfoy and no one believes him? That’ll be happening over and over from now on.

IITS
And that’s how Ginny got into the Slug Club. Wasn’t that a great story?

Idiot World
Another new teacher. Another incompetent adult.

Informed Attributes
And that’s how Ginny got into the Slug Club. Wasn’t that a great story?

Ken’s Second Rule of High Altitude Mortality
About time I got to use one of these! Yes, Harry is perfectly secure on the luggage rack, but when frozen by a hex that hits him from in front and below, topples forward while managing to turn in the air and land on his back.

Misdirected Answering
Looking back, how much of the exposition in this chapter leads anywhere? Better yet don’t look back. Never look back.

The Misleading Masculine Moniker Rule
Not a point, but significant by its absence. Doesn’t Ginny just cry out for this?

Selling Wood
I have heard that Ginny Weasley is very attractive. Is not that right Blaise? You are very attractive and yet you find her very attractive. You are hard to please, yet you find her very attractive. She must be very objectively attractive and that makes me jealous.

The Stealth Monster Rule
When you’re in an invisibility cloak you can be as gigantic, awkward or noisy as you want!

Final score: 9

Comments

[biichan.livejournal.com]

*The Aurors are dressed in Muggle suits. I guess because if you’re going to try to imitate efficiency it’s best to be as Muggle as you can.

This is cause they are the MEN IN BLACK.

No, seriously.

*Go Crabbe with the comic! I love Crabbe! And I love that Malfoy is friends with somebody who’s into comics! I’ll bet they’ve hung around in many stores while Crabbe picked out his monthly stash.

Crabbe and his comics fill me with unspeakable joy. He probably has a nice big pile of Marvin Miggs, the Mad Muggle underneath his dungeon bed.

*Malfoy calls Slughorn a fat old has-been. Even though he’s never seen him. Is his fat the stuff of legend?

I think we learn later that his grandfather hung with Sluggy. He's probably heard it from there. ("...and that's when Sluggy Slughorn got stuck in the kitchen door. We needed about a gallon of goose grease to get him loose.")

*Of course this just must mean Pansy’s badly treated or subservient. And probably she’ll be beaten and raped. It always ends in being beaten and raped.

Because you can't be a bad guy if you don't beat and rape. *nods* I swear, if JKR wrote for adults, all her bad guys would be into BDSM.

The Stealth Monster Rule
When you’re in an invisibility cloak you can be as gigantic, awkward or noisy as you want!

It's like making love (http://www.lyricswiki.org/artist_a/avenue-q_lyrics/you-can-be-as-loud-as-the-hell-you-want-when-you_lyrics.html). *nods*

[meganinhiding.livejournal.com]

They’re just impatiently awaiting the arrival of Good Slytherin Theodore Nott.

Actually they're waiting for Snape to stop pretending that he likes Malfoy and hates Harry; it was all just an elaborate act he's played for six years.

knack for embarrassing honesty.

I love how Rowling points out Luna's uncomfortable truths teller role while Malfoy was just being obnoxious about Hagrid.

Go Crabbe with the comic! I love Crabbe! And I love that Malfoy is friends with somebody who’s into comics! I’ll bet they’ve hung around in many stores while Crabbe picked out his monthly stash.

When the Black family tree came out one of the things I was pleased with was that Narcissa's grandmother was named Irma Crabbe which could mean that Vincent and Draco are second or third cousins which adds a little backstory. Perhaps Crabbe Sr recommended his good friend Lucius to Cousin Cissy.

[merrymelody.livejournal.com]

Blaise wishes he could have Ginny for his girl!

And joins the ranks of people who are turned on by insults. JKR's mystified as to why people ship D/Hr, though. Cause Draco's not as hot as Blaise or James, I guess.

I mean he proves himself to be a psychotic lunatic who could never be anything but evil.

If only Crabbe, Goyle, Pansy and Zabini had stayed behind to laugh and step on Harry. Then we'd have known Draco had made a turn towards the good side.
(I note he also steps on Harry's fingers. Unlike how Sirius lets Snape's head smack in POA, or how the Twins take care to step on Draco in GoF. Nope, this is much more cowardly and underhand - Harry isn't unconscious.)

Ginny’s chatting to friends. No, you don’t have to know who they are.

How much do you want to bet on their gender, though? No giggling among this bunch. I expect Ginny to hang out with cooler people than Ginny and Neville (although of course, she like Harry, is their BFF off-screen.)

Ron tells us Malfoy’s got a shriveled up hand, though I’m not sure where he would have seen it.

I think you know. *leers inappropriately*
I don't know, the same place where Draco learnt about the ballet, and John Merrick.

last I saw of the Hand of Glory Malfoy specifically didn’t have it.

It's beginning to sound like an STD.
But yeah, wasn't the whole point of the HOG that Draco couldn't have it because it was for thieves, and Lucius Expects More (and then gets convicted for burglary! ;)

This line sounds completely out of character for Fleur.

I thought her whole thing in GoF was she was vain about herself. So she was worried about putting on weight from the English food (which incurred Hermione's wrath, since it's Teh Racist. Go back to your bouillabaise!) If anything, all the snottiness was coming from the Hogwarts girls, not her.
Anyway, I guess in between noting Slughorn's girth and Millicent's resemblance to a hag, we've all learnt a lesson from our male narrator about what to think of girls who judge by appearances.

So can Harry see out from the Invisibility cloak? This one seems to work like a two-way mirror.

Oh, dear. Science. (Reminds me of that Superhero physics book, about how being invisible/shielding your eyes with an invisibility cloak would blind you. I guess JKR just says 'A wizard did it!' then flies off into the sky.)

Harry keeps telling people something’s up with Malfoy and no one believes him.

I'm never sure whether this annoys me because Harry is, of course, right and this is a retread of GoF and OotP's 'No one believes Harry, when Harry's never wrong!'; or whether I should just shut up and be happy about Draco's plotline (and go 'IN YOUR FISH, MOTHERFUCKER' to the characters doubting his capability. ;)

I love Pansy gazing at Malfoy as if she’s never seen anything so awe-inspiring when he suggests he’s joined an insane terrorist group. Poor Ron won’t be getting much of that in the future.

On the plus side, Harry can look forward to long romantic nights of Ginny idolizing his cool flaying spells.

Harry deals nobly with everyone staring, but gets the small reward of seeing Marietta is still suffering for having loyalties apart from him last year.

Cho is embarrassed, though. Because she treated Harry so horribly, and has shamefacedly realised that sticking with Marietta was the Wrong Choice, according to those in the know.

here’s where Fleur really shows herself to be evil, saying that Tonks has let herself go.

How can you let yourself go when you're a Metamorphagus, anyway? What does she even really look like?
Oh, sorry. I mean, aren't there more important things to think, like Tonk's book baby personality change love life?
(Let yourself go seems to imply weight gain to me, for some reason, but obviously Tonks is a good guy, so it can't be that.)
Anyway, I love the implication here that Fleur is like, a tool of the patriarchy here for inferring it's a mistake to look shabby (presumably because guys won't like you.) Because that's totally untrue, as demonstrated in these books! Just look at Suddenly!Pretty!Ginny, and...oh.

[courtaud.livejournal.com]

*Honestly, you’d think if Slughorn was such a master of networking he’d think to find a more attractive name for his club. Though I guess given Wizarding humor the name is probably a plus.
Don't "slug" have many meanings? Maybe they are all heavy drinkers. Or they go around clobbering people (when Voldemort was in it, they did.)

*Ron tells us Malfoy’s got a shriveled up hand, the Hand of Glory, though I’m not sure where he would have seen it. I thank Ron for mentioning it, though, since last I saw of the Hand of Glory Malfoy specifically didn’t have it.
Mr. Weasley can have spotted it when he was in one of those night raids he had no reason to be in.

*On first reading I was all proud of myself for remembering that Harry’s version of the events at Madam Malkins was wrong.
I'm sure Mrs Malkins pricked Draco's arm on purpose. Malfoys are no more the kind of customers a shopkeeper can be proud of.

*Harry shows how at home he feels at the Weasleys by acting like Molly’s very own slob of a teenaged son.
Why wouldn't she wash his laundry, should he manage to scrape it from the bottom of his trunk? She already bring him breakfast in bed for no reason, beside sucking him up.

*Two bridesmaids in pale gold sounds quite tasteful to me. Damn that Fleur for her small acts of thoughtfulness!
She is selfishly trying to save her own wedding from maroon and pink!

*Harry points out that if Draco wants something fixed at Borgin’s, it’s probably dark and dangerous. Mr. Weasley says he doubts it because…the Ministry raided the Manor and took away everything dark and dangerous.
"That's why the thing stays at Borgin's, you dimwit!"

*Mrs. Weasley jogs after the train, waving to Harry. OMG Harry/Molly OTP! It’s just like JKR’s parents!
Uh?

*Ginny walks away, her long red hair dancing behind her. Ron’s got a weakness for Veelas, Harry’s easily hypnotized by hair. If you focus on it you don’t have to look at the girlie body bits. It might as well be Cedric Diggory with that hair. Mmmm. Cedric…heroic like a Greek god.
Absolutely not! Cedric was a blonde!

*Neville announces he was afraid his grandmother would be angry that his fighting against evil people brought attention to her family. Instead it turns out his risking his life makes him finally almost not an embarrassment to his dead father’s memory.
And then people say that Snape is mean to Neville

*Luckily Voldemort chose Harry for “his own inscrutable reasons” Not really inscrutable, Harry. You are the one who is his equal and Neville is not. Even as a baby, the superiority was there. Just ask Dumbledore.
Harry will not ask, but Dumbledore will tell him anyway.

*In the seventy years that Slughorn’s been creating a vast social network he apparently has not managed to pick up any subtly whatsoever.
Well, that means that in the WW you don't need to be subtle to someone that's not important.

*Everyone’s there because they’re connected to someone influential. Except Ginny. Well, no, not except Ginny. Ginny is there because of her connection to the author
Ginny is there because her dancing hair brings Harry to the car and keeps him there.

*Go Crabbe with the comic! I love Crabbe! And I love that Malfoy is friends with somebody who’s into comics! I’ll bet they’ve hung around in many stores while Crabbe picked out his monthly stash.
"I didn't know that you could read."
"I look at the pretty figures."

*Harry, meanwhile, is disgusted at Pansy looking as if anyone would like to be in her place, with Malfoy in her lap.
Of course he is. In an healty relationship, the girl shows her love launching wild canaries against the boy.

*Yay Draco for not caring about Slughorn! Sure he’s probably telling himself that Voldemort’s club is much cooler.
I cannot tell why, they were the same thing for a long time, after all.

*Of course this just must mean Pansy’s badly treated or subservient. And probably she’ll be beaten and raped. It always ends in being beaten and raped.
Or she already has and she's got Stockholm Syndrome. Which she deserves.

[jollityfarm.livejournal.com]

you’d think if Slughorn was such a master of networking he’d think to find a more attractive name for his club.

It means he's upper-class and thusly has nothing to prove. Fact! Ask anyone :)

Are we supposed to think badly of Fleur for talking about her upcoming wedding?

I think it may just be because it's Fleur and thus anything that comes out of her stupid face is FACT annoying by definition. If it was Ginny and Hermione discussing weddings, it would be the very height of friendship and feminine fabulousness.

Two bridesmaids in pale gold sounds quite tasteful to me.

Especially considering some bridesmaid dresses I've seen. There is probably someone in the world putting her bridesmaids in fake Burberry check bubble-skirted tafetta or something else equally horrible. There are also people who (as I've said before when this came up) would make their fat cousin or sister starve to be the same size as all the other bridesmaids. It seems that Fleur's only real crime is daring to point out that Ginny might not look good in some stuff. Perhaps Ginny doesn't appreciate it being pointed out that her warm colouring probably wouldn't suit most pinks, but is that so terrible to say so?

Molly would have Ginny in puffy mutton sleeves with a big bow! Salmon Pink and maroon all the way for the red-heads!

Molly would probably leave it to Fred and George to pay for something they've found that's "just the thing". Expensive and possibly hideous dresses a go-go. Either that or they'd explode. But then, the chances of Fred and George hooking something up to explode or go mental in the buffet or flowers are about evens, I'd say.

It’s just like JKR’s parents!

Though I suspect vast differences in age are probably forbidden by canon. At least, if you hear some people talk (Bellatrix and Rudolphus have to have been the same age! Surely this is the way all relationships are???)

It might as well be Cedric Diggory with that hair.

I just imagined the guy who played Cedric in the movie with long ginger hair. My brain has connected this to the hair Arnold Schwarzenegger had in that film about Conan the Barbarian. Long-haired action heroes! Ow, my brain :/

Ginny’s dancing hair really is powerful.

I wonder what sort of dance it does? Possibly the tango (sorry)

more later

[merrymelody.livejournal.com]

As opposed to Hermione, who bullies younger students in response to more important things.

Or Fred and George, who bully younger students because that is the important thing to do.

as an honorary member of the I HATE FLEUR Club he’s got to call her Phlegm and say she smells like poo.

Time to make some Fleur Stinks badges.

IITS - And that’s how Ginny got into the Slug Club. Wasn’t that a great story?

How can you call that contrivance? Hexes are like currency here! If she'd hospitalised him, Dumbledore would have made her prefect.

Honestly, you’d think if Slughorn was such a master of networking he’d think to find a more attractive name for his club.

Be fair, it's no Inquisitorial Squad. Subtlety, thy name is not Rowling.

Harry’s slightly annoyed at Ron and Hermione getting bored at discussing the possible meaning of Malfoy’s behavior after only a few days.

He should come join fandom, we can go for years. Muhahaha!

by which I assume he shouldn’t bring *her* the washing at the last minute.

That's what she's there for! Along with cooking, of course. (She's multi-faceted.) Tut, tut, boys and their endearing ways, eh?

[(Anonymous)]

Neville says the kids staring into the compartment are even staring at Luna and himself, because they are with Harry. ::sigh:: Neville Longbottom. The Wizarding World’s Ralphie Wiggum.

This was such a cringe-inducing scene. Sit with us? Oh Harry, we're not worthy! Does JKR honestly think this is how losers feel when the cool kids deign to associate with them? If so I agree with Elkins that she may not "get" what being Neville is all about.

"People expect you to have cooler friends than us," Luna says, displaying her tedious habit of seeking attention by making sure everyone knows how weird she is knack for embarrassing honesty.

Could be she genuinely lacks a filter and doesn't understand or care how others will react to her embarrassing truths and freaky accessories. But at the same time she's supposed to be insightful and wise in an otherworldly way, which in turn is somehow connected to her believing everything she reads in tabloids. (I always assumed JKR came up with the Quibbler first and then got to thinking about what someone who actually believed the Quibbler might be like.)

Luna was kinda cool in OotP as being the only character who kept her dignity and didn't throw shitfits or otherwise emote at inappropriate moments. But her imaginary critters got old fast, and the one-noteness is even worse here.

Malfoy deals with Harry violently, yet in a controlled way. Excuse me. I mean he proves himself to be a psychotic lunatic who could never be anything but evil.

Oh yes. This is like his DE certificate right there, as the shocked and horrified reactions of the other characters will show in the next chapter.

Actually it was interesting that Malfoy showed that much restraint after all their history. It came across as though he's finally put Potter in perspective and moved on.

-L

[xerox78.livejournal.com]

*Harry runs into Ginny in the hall and she’s her usual charming self, reminding him that as an honorary member of the I HATE FLEUR Club he’s got to call her Phlegm and say she smells like poo.

*My irritation at Ginny is immediately wiped away as Harry smiles at her that he’ll be careful not to slip in the Phlegm that is Fleur. Sure the response is completely nonsensical, but Harry has smiled it at her. How does one smile a statement? Perhaps Harry finally got bored with Quidditch and sent away for a Ventriloquism course. (MST3K reference: Ventriloquism is huge in England!)

*And there’s Ginny again tripping Ron. The way she’s waged this all-out war on Fleur where everyone has to join her or be punished is just so attractive. Ginny 1 would never have done anything like it. That’s why Ginny 1 had to be eliminated. Ginny 1 would probably have a nice relationship with Fleur and be looking forward to having a sister.

Ginny is definitely a Mean Girl of the Queen Bee sort. She's so threatened by Fleur it isn't even funny. Maybe if we're lucky she'll get hit by the Knight Bus in the next book.

[violaswamp.livejournal.com]

Two bridesmaids in pale gold sounds quite tasteful to me. Also in my experience red-heads appreciate it when people choose bridesmaids dresses that compliment their red hair. Damn that Fleur for her small acts of thoughtfulness!

Caring about looks at all, ever, is Teh Ebil. Unless you're Hermione and you do it just the once for a school ball but then refuse to do it ever again. Only silly girly-girls care about looks.

And there’s Ginny again tripping Ron. The way she’s waged this all-out war on Fleur where everyone has to join her or be punished is just so attractive. Ginny 1 would never have done anything like it. That’s why Ginny 1 had to be eliminated. Ginny 1 would probably have a nice relationship with Fleur and be looking forward to having a sister.

Yep. Ginny's a vicious little bitch. And the funny thing is, I keep hearing her behavior justified by saying "Well, that's how siblings treat each other! You should see how I act to my brother!" Um. I have a younger sister, who I habitually address as "twerp." You know why that's okay? Because she doesn't feel hurt by it at all. If she were hurt by it, it would be automatically NOT okay. Families hurt each other and scar each other deeply and send each other to therapy for life. Bad behavior isn't justified simply because it's done to family members.

Are we supposed to see Ginny's tripping Ron as being "tough but not unpleasant" or whatever JKR said? Because it strikes me as pretty fucking unpleasant.

"People expect you to have cooler friends than us," Luna says, displaying her tedious habit of seeking attention by making sure everyone knows how weird she is knack for embarrassing honesty.

JKR, for all she seems to want to be sympathetic to the unpopular crowd, has clearly never actually talked to a single one of them. Does she really think that unpopular kids do this kind of cringing sad-puppy-dog oh-poor-me-I've-no-friends bullshit?

Harry wonders if Neville’s mother would have died to save him if he was threatened as a baby. When you’re the Chosen One you have to wonder things like this about people.

Of course not. You've got to be, like, a total hero to die for your OWN FUCKING OFFSPRING, just the way you've got to be a generous font of charity to allow losers like Neville and Luna to breathe the same air as you. And no mother could ever be as brave as the sainted Lily. Just ask Merope Gaunt.

By the way, if you’re keeping score that two more people in this chapter whom Ginny doesn’t like.

Who does Ginny like? I bet we could fit the list on one hand. She doesn't seem to like anyone in her family, except Bill. She likes Harry. She doesn't seem to care too much for Hermione. She has a patronizing tolerance for Luna and Neville. That's four people. I can't think of anyone else she likes--and by "likes," I mean "has actually had human interaction with."

I like that the narrator still manages to get a little dig in at Pansy. She’s holding out her hand as if *hoping* Draco will hold it. Not *expecting* he will hold it, which sounds much reasonable. If she were just hoping she’d be standing there trying to look inconspicuous with her hand in easy range.

Is it just me or does JKR seem to vent all her self-loathing as a female on the character of Pansy? Pansy's just a conglomeration of misogynist stereotypes about females. She has no traits that are not part of this stereotype.

Malfoy deals with Harry violently, yet in a controlled way. Excuse me. I mean he proves himself to be a psychotic lunatic who could never be anything but evil. How can they even let him in school?

Go, Malfoy. And he's smart enough to know Harry will never tell on him because his masculine ego would get in the way.

[sarahtales.livejournal.com]

My love for these summaries is deep as the ocean, beautiful as the bright blue sea, they are almost as enchanting as Ginny's lovely, bouncy hair.

Oh, Ginny. I put my face in my hands. It's odd that I have graduated from horrible dislike of Ginny to actually feeling sorry for her treatment at the author's hands. Because all the things she does could be all right for me: I could totally forgive and like a boy's girl with an overly violent temper and a manipulative streak a mile wide (I mean, I'm very fond of Hermione...) but I cannot bear with the authorial validation that this is the only true way to behave. It's like looking at a horrible snotty kid whose parent is just saying 'Isn't Mildred darling?' and knowing that poor Mildred is never going to learn better.

I could learn to ship Blaise/Ginny, you know. Maybe they could teach each other a lesson.

Weeeeell, I mean, JKR clearly could just say 'and there was Draco Malfoy lying with his head in his girlfriend Pansy's lap.' Like she told us ever so anviliciously that Ginny was going out with Michael and Dean. She doesn't. Maybe Pansy just doesn't deserve that kind of validation, you know? Draco's just putting up with her. God knows I always lay my head in the laps of people I can barely tolerate.

I love Pansy gazing at Malfoy as if she’s never seen anything so awe-inspiring when he suggests he’s joined an insane terrorist group. Poor Ron won’t be getting much of that in the future.

Unless he goes out with Pansy. That's all I'm saying. Um. Hahaha. I'm not shipping anybody at all. You are. YOU ARE!

Oh, I still remember someone saying in your journal that Malfoy was trying to kill Harry in that scene. Or at least taking the risk that he would die. At that point I bailed out of the argument because their logic did not resemble mine.

[phoenixw.livejournal.com]

Ginny grimaces at Harry from behind Slughorn’s back, which pretty much sums up Ginny.

Ginny gets to be the Evil!Harry. Where Harry has to be somewhat restrained, being the hero and all that, Ginny gets to express Harry's childish rage and annoyance. She's his perfect "other half".

*mimes throwing up*